I'm relatively new here and have only lurked for the past couple of weeks.
I've had a foot fetish since early high school, but nobody who knows me knows about it. I've been married to a wonderful woman for the past 12 years, and she doesn't even know. She has awesome small feet that I'd love to stroke and lick, but I can't bring myself to tell her. Every time I think about 'coming out' to her, I get sick to my stomach like I'm having a panic attack or something. Her opinion of me means everything to me, and I don't want to negatively affect our relationship. There have been previous discussions about foot fetish and she doesn't really understand it. She's generally cool about all things sexual and not a prude at all. We used to be into the swinging scene and there was one time where a bunch of us were naked in the hot tub. Someone told a story about a guy at the swing club that got into the play room and started going at the feet of the girls in there. Everyone started to laugh and make comments about what a wackjob this guy was, and it made me feel terrible knowing that everyone was laughing at him for something he and I shared. Every time I think about sharing my fetish, I think about all the TV shows or movies I saw where a FF-guy was the butt of a joke or made out to be a pervert, or other conversations where feet came up and everyone is "ewww, FEET!". It makes me feel like a freak. I'm really glad there are places like Wu's where I can see that I'm not alone. I'm jealous of you guys that have an active foot life with an understanding woman. Any advice would be appreciated.
Posts: 130 | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
Hey, man, confess to her! You've been with her for 12 years (not counting when you dated her), so she should understand. Just tell her you're attracted to women's feet, that's all you have to say. A swinger's club, and they thought a guy attracted to feet was a whacko? That's ridiculous!
-------------------- "You have very nice feet!" Posts: 3712 | Registered: Apr 2005
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(pushing everyone aside as he takes center stage, whispering under his breath "let me handle this...")
Bro, I was you two years ago, only I'd been married for 23 years. My wife's a very intelligent social worker with a strong personality deeply rooted belief system who had taken every psychology class (including abnormal psychology) that her college offered. She was, and still is, very conservative in many ways and is not real adventuresome sexually (unless I lead). As if all that's not bad enough add to that the fact that she didn't think her feet were attractive due to pronounced bunions on both big toes. She had one surgically removed early in our marriage purely for comfort reasons, not aesthetics.
I had never mentioned a peep about having any interest in her feet at all, especially sexually, although I did give her some subtle hints starting years ago. I gave her a good anklet she could (and did) wear 24/7, and once when I was away on business trip I bought her a pair of sandals that I liked. She never wore those and eventually gave them away. I was upset, angry and frustrated by that but still said nothing.
But thanks to the encouragement, support and prodding of the fine folk here on this forum, I finally got up the nerve to come out and confess my fetish to her (actually wrote her a letter while she was away on a business trip) and my God have I been amazed at the results.
I'd be lying if I told you we sat around talking about this for hours or that she's peppered me with questions about it. We have not and she has not. It was really more me "grabbing the bull by the horns" or maybe more like me "grabbing her by her ankles" and taking control. In a sentence, she's done everything that I've asked, never said no to anything I've tried, and is even showing some real signs of "getting into" me enjoying her feet and enjoying looking at them herself.
When we'd go shopping I'd show her what sandals or flip-flops I liked and she bought some. I go shopping regularly and add to her collection as well. Recently she's begun buying them on her own. I bought her some cheap toe rings and anklets that she wore around the house, but eventually allowed me to buy her a good gold one to wear all the time. She saw another cute anklet that she asked me to get her for her birthday last year, and she's talking about getting some additional toe rings. She wears sandals as often as she can for me, paints her toenails and lets me play with her feet all the time.
And yes, this carried over into the bedroom. Because my sex drive is higher than hers and she's not a morning person, I started to, once or twice a week after a little back, leg and foot rubbing, to culminate this activity by cumming on her feet. The first time or two she just laid there, mostly I believe, because she didn't know what I wanted her to do. But it didn't take long for her to start moving her feet around, rubbing them all over me, lifting and holding a foot up for and ponting her toes- just beckoning me to cum on them. I've also had her wear a pair of sandals during sex.
Needless to say we've made up for a lot of lost time and things have preogressed way better and way farther than I ever imagined. And the incredible thing is we've still got plenty of stuff to do and try, so I'm excited to death about the future.
My friend, try your best to work up the courage to tell her. If you can't do it in person, try writing a letter like I did to "break the ice." You'll probably thing more cogently and be able to put your thoughts and feelings down better and remember all the things you've been dying to tell her. It's probably best just to cover the basics at first (like I really like feet and they excite me). You don't want to overwhelm her by telling her everything you want to do with her feet yet. Let her think about that for a day or two, then schedule a time to sit and discuss her feelings and answer her questions.
I guess what it comes down to is- if she truly loves and cares about you she'll do as much as she can to indulge you. It may take some time for her to gain some understanding. As you noted there's lots of negative societal perceptions about our fetish. But you need to make her understand that this is a part of who you are and a need that you have.
Interestingly enough we've had some discussions lately (thanks to Oprah and Dr. Phil) with my teenage daughter about foot fetish things. My wife is quite free to talk about them without a hint of condemnation or humor. I think she really understands that this behaviour is natural for me. Granted there some things she still doesn't know yet: like fantasies I have about her doing more foot fetish things. But over time they'll probably come out.
And lastly, if you guys have been involved with swinging, there's little chance she won't understand a guy with a foot fetish.
I'm sure that others will chime in with some additional encouragement but- If I could do it, you can do it! Go for it!
Feel free to PM me if you'd additional or more personal advice.
Posts: 9728 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I don't understand how you guys can do that. You are as intimate with your wife as humanly possible which I assume means sticking your tongue in her most holy of places, yet you're afraid to touch her feet. I've been married for 10 of the 16 years that me and my wife have been together and I let the cat out of the bag about feet after our first date where I coaxed her into giving me a footjob.
I'm sure if you were to just suck her toes without making any big production about and just throw it in whilst in the heat of the moment she will go with it. If you have her in the missionary position just toss her legs over your shoulders so that her feet are in close proximity to your face and then turn your mug and stick yer tongue out and give it a lick! If she's ticklish her toes will curl and then the real fun can begin! Go for it and make your next post about your success story!
posted
Dude,just tell her,and if you can't say it bluntly,there are ways to get around doing that.one guy mentioned writing a letter,I had my gf purposly stumble upon my journal after telling her I had this crazy erotic dream the other nite.and man when I came home she made sure my "so called dream" became a reality,and still does to this day(a few hours ago to be exact lol). This is your wife of many years,she's family,etc and if you look @ it like that,then how could she turn you down?.not sayin ina bad way but yall are swingers for christs sake nah mean??that shows she's a sexually open person in my opinion.
Posts: 924 | Registered: Nov 2003
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I have to agree. After 12 years, I'm sure she would not run the other direction by letting her know how beautiful her feet are and how you want to explore them more. The guy who told the swingers story left out the part about how all the grils reacted when the "wackjob" went after their feet. I know all women are not into feet necessarily but I have known many many mnay who now love having their toes sucked beacause someone opened their eyes. I undersatnd the trepidation but if you can't open up to the woman you share your dreams with, who can you. I wish you well. LaDaemon, coaxed her for a footjob on the first date? You the man !!!
-------------------- New Ship but she's got the right name. You treat her like a lady and she'll always bring you home. Posts: 4051 | Registered: Apr 2005
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wow feetluvr! i can't believe you went 21 years before you told your wife about your fetish. the longest i ever went was on a 3rd or 4th date. but i am 32 and have dated 3 women in LTR who were great and willingly got into all of my foot fantasy's. so with that said, i could not wait very long without any foot action. its like a virgin. if you never had sex you don't know what your missing, but once you have it and its great every night, how could you wait too long with a new women.i am not trying to make fun of you or put you down, i am just talking here. but i am glad to here its now working out for you. and teryon, you have been with your wife for 12 years, she loves you unconditionaly. she will be find with it. women who really love there men will do anything to make them happy. go for it buddy.
Posts: 64 | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
any girl into the swinging scene I would think would not be turned off by it
12 years and she has no idea?
i'm speachless...
-------------------- quote: ---------------------------------- posted by Andy - Laa: my posts in this thread are not as good as Michael P's Posts: 3024 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Teryon ... put yourself in your wife's position. How would you feel if she had desires like the ones you had .. and never felt she could trust you enough to reveal it. You would feel pretty crappy wouldn't you? If she loves you, she cares deeply about your happiness. Who could you trust more in this world? If she was open enough to try swinging me, trust me a foot fetish is small poatoes to that. I think most of you guys build up these fears in your minds that are based on the worst things that you imagine could happen. You then allow them to build and grow. The problem is not with your ladies .. it is within you. Feetluver gave you some awsome advice and he has been where you are. Don't you want to be where he is now?
-------------------- we can hit the floor and go and explore those popsicletoes Posts: 375 | Registered: Sep 2003
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My advice would be to just tell her. Simple and plain because you've been married to her for 12 years.
Within the first month of me going out with a girl, she would KNOW I have a foot fetish and I won't have to tell her, she'll either ask or just be w/e about it.
My gf now still hasn't asked after 7 months and I've done everything in the book to her feet.
She even gave me a footjob and footjobs scream "I HAVE A FOOTFETISH!" In conclusion just tell her, she's your wife you have nothing to worry about.
quote:Originally posted by Mighty Mike: any girl into the swinging scene I would think would not be turned off by it
12 years and she has no idea?
i'm speachless...
That is the way I see this. I mean, swinging is not for everyone and she can get down like that. Loving her pretty feet should be problem for her. I have been married for 12 years (dated for 3 years) and my wife knows what I like/love (feet/ass ). She plays up to it because she knows how I get all /motivated and she loves it. Don't sell yourself short in your marriage. You should feel open to open up about what you really like and if she doesn't like it, hey, at least you can say told her. Give her a chance. If she can get down with swinging, I am pretty sure she can appreciate the love of feet. She may have been going along with everyone joking about the other guy liking feet, but if she knew you were into it her response might have been different. You have been married for 12 years now and should GIVE her a crack at it what is really going on inside.
-------------------- V/R, FM9 aka Mr. Footbooty "She had real pretty feet. I was always a sucker for pretty little feet... Outside of her being pretty and hip, with a good body, her feet is what attracted me." - p. 39 of "Miles" (Davis) The Autobiography Posts: 8821 | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by popsicletoes: I think most of you guys build up these fears in your minds that are based on the worst things that you imagine could happen. You then allow them to build and grow. The problem is not with your ladies .. it is within you.
You hit the nail right on the head, popsicletoes! Quite a few guys tend to make up worst case scenarios and, the more they think about them, the more ridiculous the scenarios become and the more fear develops. I think after being married for 12 years, a foot fetish is not going to make your wife go running the other way, Teryon. Actually, I think that telling your wife about it may get her intrigued about it and help spice up your sex life!
Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
Just tell her and don't act ashamed... There is nothing to be ashamed of anyway.
My wife LOVES my foot fetish. She wouldn't love it if she didn't know about it.
The only way that your wife has a chance to enjoy your fetish is if you tell her.
And PLEASE tell her with a little confidence.... Don't stare at the ground while you tell her trying to hide your red face. Just look her in the eyes and tell her.
-------------------- "Foot fetish is not a choice... It's a lifestyle!"
-Quote from my phenomenal wife-
<--- My wife's feet! Size 7 U.S. We always welcome PM's. Posts: 1823 | Registered: Sep 2004
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/motivated and she loves it. Don't sell yourself short in your marriage. You should feel open to open up about what you really like and if she doesn't like it, hey, at least you can say told her. Give her a chance. If she can get down with swinging, I am pretty sure she can appreciate the love of feet. She may have been going along with everyone joking about the other guy liking feet, but if she knew you were into it her response might have been different. You have been married for 12 years now and should GIVE her a crack at it what is really going on inside.
