posted
Psychology class is in order guys.....a thread on how to let a love interest that is anti foot fetish into your foot world through the understanding of cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously. The "ideas" or "cognitions" in question may include attitudes and beliefs, and also the awareness of one's behavior. The theory of cognitive dissonance proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance by changing their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors, or by justifying or rationalizing their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.whew!! (from wikipedia) ok bear with me...here comes the foot fetish stuff....
People....or women in this instance hate cognitive dissonance. For example a woman might swear up and down not to ever date an unemployed guy. She meets a guy and they hit it off. She finds out he's unemployed. This results in an internal conflict. If she likes the guy enough she will make herself believe that "he's between jobs" "he's on the up and up" "he's a quality guy" ect to eliminate the dissonance.
Everyone does it. I think i'm frugal. I go out and buy a sports car. Conflict in my head. Sports car and frugal don't match. I then tell myself that this car is more reliable and more fun for my buck allowing me to live the contradiction. But i've wanted this car for years. Test drove it. I was INVESTED. Think about the equivalent when it comes to women. How do they get invested?
Ok back to feet and women. Some women hate foot fetishes. Go do an advanced search on twitter and you'll read nothing but negative things. With that in mind when meeting women it is best to not bring up feet!! Why? She is not attracted to you yet. She will easily say you're not her type and eliminate you out of her dating pool. When she is attracted to you..after a date or two PREFERABLY after sex she knows shes into you. Show her you're into feet during the love making. This will cause the "cognitive dissonance" I speak of. In her mind she might think "foot fetish guys are pervs" "I don't have sex with pervs" "Soooo this foot fetish guy must be ok" "I must be ok with HIS foot fetish then". While hanging out with her you'll be the great guy that we all are and it will be a non issue. Especially with the first impression, don't be the foot guy. Be the cool guy...and later be the cool guy that's into feet.
Get it? This is theory of course and wile I have put it into practice I havn't done it knowingly.
Counterarguements are welcome. Remember the woman we have in mind is the type that is anti foot fetish. Not the neutral sort.
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
I remember touching on this subject back in my college days in a Sociology class. Well actually the opposite could hold true within cognitive dissonance...say three guys a particular woman has dated all have foot fetishes..all were decent ex's of hers and she has a fairly good view on our fetish...she starts dating some new guy and acts all creepy about her feet. She has that opinion that developed that guys with foot fetishes are kinda cool thinking of the perks it offers...then a creep comes along and ruins it all for her view on it...not trying to play devil's advocate here, but rather a top-looking-down view [my perspective here] on the bottom-looking-up [as in GQ's take]
-------------------- If feet are your bottom line, you're gonna get trampled...if women are your bottom line, you're gonna get lovestruck!
quote:Originally posted by A&F_FootDude_05: I remember touching on this subject back in my college days in a Sociology class. Well actually the opposite could hold true within cognitive dissonance...say three guys a particular woman has dated all have foot fetishes..all were decent ex's of hers and she has a fairly good view on our fetish...she starts dating some new guy and acts all creepy about her feet. She has that opinion that developed that guys with foot fetishes are kinda cool thinking of the perks it offers...then a creep comes along and ruins it all for her view on it...not trying to play devil's advocate here, but rather a top-looking-down view [my perspective here] on the bottom-looking-up [as in GQ's take]
I think that's simply a generalization made on experience. Typically cognitive dissonance deals with an attitude/belief/value and two contradictory views of ones self. If she says she doesn't date creepy guys beacuse she's too good for that, then dates a creepy guy she would have to give her brain an excuse as to why she dates him. She's either too good for creepy guys therefor she'd have to dump him or she's not as good as she thought she was. So to have her cake and eat it too she could tell her brain "he's such an awesome guy, better than i've ever had" to keep the contradictory stuff apart. She still keeps her guy and her initial too good for everyone attitude. This helps the creepy guy solidify his place in her life. The creepy guy has to get her invested at first somehow before she is willing to make that jump. Thats the tough part.
But it is true that it doesn't always work in our favor. Actually it rarely does.
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
No one is honest when they say NO - but when they hire you the'll tell you why - even if it is trial by fire or a test.
Every woman that I know has an alkie father or a diddling unlce and they are nice guys just misunderstood. What is a real nice guy anyway?
I grew up on the streets where there were no nice people and we all knew it. Why the paradox when leaving the streets?
I also meet girls which bug me out - where you say "Hi" and they say "my Boyfriend says Hi." They sneak bf into every sentence - all they are doing is overcompensating. You know that foo aint sayin s about her. I need a good year before the gf comes out my mouth. The times make the president, yo. You wont know if she is a keeper until you have been tested.
quote:Originally posted by Spotlight: Complimenting them on their feet in front of a crowd of others in public with 100 percent confidence turns em on like crazy. How does this fact fall into the equation?
Agreed most women do want a guy that's got guts without being too blunt.
posted
good post GQ! When you think of all the shit that people in relationships "settle" for, looking past a fetish and justifying it really isn't that bad of a compromise.
Posts: 10 | Registered: Feb 2009
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posted
Perhaps it's just that girls feel that guys with foot fetishes are perverts simply because they've never had any experience with them. When they actually meet one of us, and we turn out to be "regular guys" this changes their perceptions about us. Perhaps some of them had bad experiences. Maybe they had a creepy uncle who played with their feet. Still, it's a very interesting theory you have.
-------------------- "You have very nice feet!" Posts: 3712 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Douglezerts, you said it. When it comes to the FFL (Foot Fetish Lifestyle) negative opinions are usually formed from people that have either had one bad experience or simple pure ignorance (lack of knowledge).
Example, I have never eaten a lobster. To me, eating a lobster is disgusting. How did I form my opinion? Bad Experience? or Pure Ignorance? In my case, it's pure ignorance because I have never tried eating a lobster. Who knows, if I tried it, I might love it and become a seafood lover.
When it comes to the FFL (foot fetish lifestyle), I think there is a lot of people that have formed opinions without first hand knowledge or experience to base their opinions on.
My advice, take it slow and have fun introducing your new friend to the FFL...who knows, they might turn out like me :-) Could that be a bad thing? Maybe ;-)
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