posted
Hey there i'm in a fairly solid relationship of about a year & a half. My girlfriend is totally cool to let me satisfy my foot fetish so long as it doesn't take over. I'm happy with this arrangement too as I don't want it to take over or for me to get too obsessed about feet. I enjoy regular sexual activities just as much & not only is it important to please my partner too but I need to stay in touch with reality & not take her feet & my relationship for granted.
The question I wanted to ask was how much do you guys & girls feel is an acceptable amount to do 'foot stuff' on a monthly or weekly basis? & do you have any kind of arrangements?
Of course some couples have more sex than others. At the moment on average I'd say I have sex 3 or 4 times a week with maybe 1 footjob (sometimes I involve feet in sex). I'm very aware of not going over the top with my fetish which I did do by mistake at one point in the relationship because my girlfriends gets upsett about it & thinks I'm not interested in her, she has quite low self esteem, so maybe it's a bit different for me compared to you foot maniac couples!
Anyhow I'm completely happy with 1 footjob a week, infact in incredibly lucky, & if it means she's happy doing it then it makes for a better experience...we've recently had some stressfull changes in our lives & so the relationship has had a little strain & therefore foot stuff goes out the window a little, because unlike sex, she's doing me the favor.
And whilst it's my job to make her feel happy and comfortable about the situation, I don't want to go without foot stuff completely. Everytime I approach the subject now it's s little tense & I feel bad, but she will still do it from time to time which i completely appreciate.
Sorry, I meant to keep this short! Anyway my idea was to suggest a 'foot day' where by I get to go all out on her feet once a week. That way there would be no hassle or worry for her if I come to see her & is it gonna be feet or sex I'm after? Because for some reason when I am in the mood for feet then I'll still want it until it's satisfied, even if I have regular sex.
I wish it was not a battle between sex vs feet but perhaps I have some obsessive issues. I realize my idea could backfire if I'm putting restrictions on myself, I might not be allowed foot stuff on a day when I'm in the mood for it. Do you guys think that asking for foot activities once a week is too much, a little selfish, sexist or the complete wrong way to go about it? After 4 years of exploring my fetish with girls I still don't feel comfortable enough to get her in the mood properly, because of the guilt, but I'm getting better.
Ps. Sorry if Ive offended any women, I'm just explaining my situation & throwing ideas around. Thanks
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
P.s I forgot to add that the reason I wanted to suggest this to my girfriend is because she seems quite negative about the whole foot fetish thing now, she says she doesn't know why.. Maybe she's resentful.. Quite frankly I can only care to a certain degree because feet are important to me. I'm sure u other fetishists will understand & it's not like I'm neglecting her sexually. I go down on her etc.
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
I don't favor the idea of "negotiating" a "foot day" for you with her. It sounds like that casts the whole idea of having fun with her feet as a concession--the implication being that it somehow puts her out to let you indulge with her feet.
It shouldn't be that way. Fun for you with her feet should be able to be made fun and enjoyable for her, too. If it can't be, then I'm sorry to have to say that perhaps she's not the right girl for you.
I just don't see you being satisfied in the long run if you feel like you have to struggle to get the foot satisfaction you (like many of us) need.
-------------------- You give pleasure to the feet, you give pleasure to the person. Posts: 1297 | Registered: Jul 2009
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posted
While I agree with Pjay that negotiating a "foot day" can be seen as a concession - that's exactly what being a couple often revolves around isn't it?
For many years my wife expressed concern about anything outside of straight intercourse- saying that she often felt that things were being done "to her" instead of "with her". Sounds like your girl is in a similar boat.
I think you'll find that many on the forum often involve foot play as a part of foreplay almost every time that they're intimate with their SO but only exclusively use or satisfy themselves with their SO's feet every so often (and of course it varies for every couple).
The bottom line is- this is something you need to discuss (during none sexual times) and come to a concensus on. You may not come out with what you want from the start, but if you treat her with respect (honoring her wishes) hopefully you'll find that she'll become more open to increasing foot activity over time. The other option of course is to drop her and move on to a girl who's more amiable with foot play.
Posts: 9728 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Hmm thanks very much for your intelligent insights.. The truth is that untill the last month or so she was very happy to do foot related things. I'm blaming myself for taking advantage of that and maybe I went too far with it in the past, but recently she's shut down to it a bit.. Last week we had sex 3 nights in a row, I'm going over to see her tonight & kinda hoping she'll be ok with some foot stuff if I go about it nicely..
The fact of the matter is we are keeping score on it, & it's becoming an issue.. I'm gonna try just being respectfull, not suggesting a foot day because that's a bit cold hearted.. She said to me that she felt foot stuff is a bit distant in compartison to sex which may be true, but she's making it a battle between sex & feet.. I'd like it all to be positive & if she can't deal with then I'll have to move on. It's no use making ourselves both unhappy.
She may be ok with it later on, I don't know. I font know exactly how to get her to feel ok about it again? Could it be something I've done? As my last girlfriend became the same, if not alot worse!.. I don't really see that there could be some sort of magic woman who's relaxed about everything!.. I mean my girlfriend seemed that way when we got together!
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
If she dennies me foot activities should I denny her sex? It might make for an arguement be I don't like being controlled like this... She's really shy & won't initiate any sex, but still wants it. Ultimately it's down to me, just don't really know how to handle this one!
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
Whoa whoa, let's not take this to the level of breaking up with her. That is WAY out of line. You should talk to her about it. Just because she isn't in the mood to that stuff doesn't mean she will always be that way, especially if she was fine before. My boyfriend rarely EVER includes feet and sex, but I'm not complaining because I care for him and feet aren't what our relationship is about. You really should sort out what you think is most important in this situation. Denying her sex is a terrible idea, and a very immature solution. You are not being controlled at all. It's her feet and it's her choice to do what she wants with them. I think you should ask yourself something.. Is she making this a battle between sex and feet.. or are you? If this has happened in the past then maybe you are doing something that she sees as offensive and is backing off a bit. That's her doing what she feels is comfortable. If you are the one that is so upset and willing to deny her sex or break up with her and decide she's out to piss you off, then you are just being selfish.
Sorry if I come off a little harsh, that last post really got me going.;\
posted
I'm just satisfied with my girlfriend letting me massage her feet, whenever we meet up. Well, not all the time! But when I go over to her place, we often end up on the couch with her feet in my lap. Love those chocolate-covered feet, ShortLived!
-------------------- "You have very nice feet!" Posts: 3712 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Originally posted by dougiezerts: I'm just satisfied with my girlfriend letting me massage her feet, whenever we meet up. Well, not all the time! But when I go over to her place, we often end up on the couch with her feet in my lap. Love those chocolate-covered feet, ShortLived!
Thats how me and my boyfriend are, he's more of just a massage guy. So my feet are always on his lap. And thanks glad you enjoy them. Posts: 1039 | Registered: Sep 2009
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posted
My wife lets me do anything to her feet, almost anytime I ask. Many times if she isnt in the mood for sex, she will give me her feet. She lets me jerk off while I sniff and lick her feet, or she will jerk me off while i sniff/lick.
Posts: 5 | Registered: Sep 2008
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quote:Originally posted by toecheese: My wife lets me do anything to her feet, almost anytime I ask. Many times if she isnt in the mood for sex, she will give me her feet. She lets me jerk off while I sniff and lick her feet, or she will jerk me off while i sniff/lick.
+1 , anything foot related is never a big deal at our house either
-------------------- Latina Feet Can't Be Beat! Posts: 4819 | Registered: Mar 2004
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"My wife lets me do anything to her feet, almost anytime I ask. Many times if she isnt in the mood for sex, she will give me her feet. She lets me jerk off while I sniff and lick her feet, or she will jerk me off while i sniff/lick."
That's what you need, LAMP; I'd start looking else where. Plus, like you said, I think she is trying to control you...it will only get worse.
Posts: 678 | Registered: Jan 2009
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quote:Originally posted by SOLEMAN 13: toecheese say's:
"My wife lets me do anything to her feet, almost anytime I ask. Many times if she isnt in the mood for sex, she will give me her feet. She lets me jerk off while I sniff and lick her feet, or she will jerk me off while i sniff/lick."
That's what you need, LAMP; I'd start looking else where. Plus, like you said, I think she is trying to control you...it will only get worse.
Are you serious? You guys have no idea how girls think.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Sep 2009
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posted
Hey lamp, I have been married to my high school sweetheart for a very long time. She has over the years let me indulge my footfetish with her in all possible ways. Remember, a relationship is all about a give and take and understanding and pleasing your mate. If indeed you want to make this relationship work, you need to compliment your girl aand build her confidence. Make it cleaqr that you care about all of her, from the top of her head to her toes. She,in turn will then have to understand that you as a man need certain things in order to be satisfied. If this does not happen between the both of you now,only a couple of years into your relationship, what do you think will be the situatiion ten or twenty years down the line. If you really have afoot fetish, remember, it will only become more intense as you get older. You will need a life partner that will understand and be cool with it. This is my opinion. I hope it works out for you. If not, move on top the right girl. Posts: 1535 | Registered: Nov 2003
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posted
i've never allowed myself to make heels and feet a determinant in any relationship i've been in. it took a little while to fine tune that decision.
although i have unlimited free access to my wife's feet, she doesn't share my passion for her feet. so, respect is what made things work.
once a week, the stars seem to line up. in that moment, usually it get's as "wild" as a massage. which she absolutley loves!
the other things i've experimented with, in her words, provides too intense a sensation for her to handle on a regular. i respect that.
am i feeling denied? nope. we've worked out what works for us right now. and she's pretty happy. sure, she doesn't get as much sex as she'd like (i never thought i'd see the day her appetite would surpass mines!!! and i'm man enough to say that) and i don't get all the fetish stuff i want, however, i can't think of a better situation than what i have. i love my woman to death!!! we connect like you won't believe!
to me, it's the connection!! that's what rocks. and the best part, she's open minded enough that i know in time, we'll get more and more of what we both want. i'm loosing off the few extra pounds i have and toning up to get my energy up to match hers in bed. (she could get it one nearly every single day.. me, just a day or so less than she) as for the feet deal, only time will tell, but being it's not so huge a deal for our relationship, i'm feeling very lucky and very happy!
RPM
p.s. long babble, but the point, me not pressuring her has opened up the options of what i can do greatly. and that helped me feel more at ease to put even less pressure on her. it's a definite positive feedback loop
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