quote:Originally posted by FTPHANTOM: I agree with those who suggested checking the guy out first, then sending him a few pic's if he's cool.
I'd do that for sure- and a little additional "detective" work.
I'd want to know whether where this happened was a chance place she just happened to be in, or a part of her daily routine. Does she remember seeing him before? If it was a chance place and the chances of her ever seeing him again were very slim to nill, I'd be more open to sending him something. But if it was part of her daily routine, I'd want to be sure he wasn't stalking her or likely to see her again.
That may sound a bit heretical to those of us, like me, who have been into voyeurism and some minor stalking in the past. I was only a visual stalker, with no intention of photographing, interacting with or doing anything to anyone. That being said I'm very happy that phase of my life is well in my past and has never occured again. Anyway, I wouldn't want to take any chances as far as my wife was concerned.
Posts: 9728 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:So, you think I wanna be friends with a stalker? Let me think about that for a second. No. (Duh!).
Well obviously you do since he was stalking your "girlfriend", and you couldn't wait to tell everybody you sent a sweet introduction email.
quote:He's nutty for staring at her feet, I presume? And stupid because he didn't press himself on her? I see.
Try reversing that there slick. Nutty for wanting to take a stranger to a secluded space, and stupid for passing up the offer of your "girlfriend" to take pics of her feet right there.
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The love in this thread is overwhelming I can see why you sent the intro email and imagine he will be surprised as hell to read it...but if that is in fact part of her daily routine then I wouldnt want to feed his appetite by sending him a pic because a pic will probably just never be enough. Hopefully that it was a "chance" meeting. I never took into account that her taking the bus was part of her routine and he could be "studying" her, but I still got to give him a pat on the back so to speak for actually going up to her and asking because I'll be the first to admit that I would never dream of asking a random hottie on the street to take a picture of her feet..I mean how many people can honestly say that they would? Whether it be fear of rejection or just plain ol' being a pussy I dunno but you will never catch me asking a girl that.I have enough trouble as it is asking to play with my girls feet. I also agree that your girl has some talented toes!
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No. The quick, 2 second definition you provided is meaningless in a legal context, and assumes out of hand that this person is a predator. For a person to stalk another person in this context is, and only is: * repeated following; * unwanted contact (by letter or other means of communication); * observing a person's actions closely for an extended period of time (i.e., not 15 minutes at a bus stop); or * contacting family members, friends, or associates of a target inappropriately * cyberstalking
So some chap checks out someone's feet for a while and then asks to go somewhere to take a picture. Big deal. Hardly worthy of the hoopla you're throwing over this. He could be a predator, could be just some nervous dude with little social skills who wants to see this girl's feet. Best thing to do as advised is to send him in email and try to feel him out, if you're comfortable with him and are into that sort of thing, send him some pics, if not, just ignore the encounter.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Aug 2005
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it's not stalking in a legal context, never said it was a legal case of stalking, why the hell are you stuck on that definition? He was stalking her with his camera, hoping to seperate her from the pack, to do who knows what. I'm astounded that people can be so naive as to his intentions, almost like a child that thinks all strangers are it's friends. Either that or there are some fellow stalkers on the board. Not the legal defination type
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It's a definition that fits two people and makes certain a person's actions are harmful and unwanted, that's all; unlike yours, which assumed automatically that she was his "prey." I don't pick up hitchikers, but that doesn't mean every single one of them has a knife ready to rob me. Of course no person should go with a random stranger to a secluded location -- and no one is advocating that, but just because he checked out her feet and asked to take some pictures at a less public area doesn't make him a stalker.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Aug 2005
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coed, in all fairness, I do see where you're coming from, and I respect your opinions. I don't see the need for there to be an argument about this any further.
Macbrother made some excellent points, and I tend to agree with them.
Back to the topic at hand; let's say "bus-stop-dude" were a stalker, just for the sake of argument. I am a huge, pretty scary looking dude, so I do not feel my lady, and particularly me, would have much to worry about. So perhaps that makes me a little more fearless, or arrogant ("naive" in cood's view, but again he's wrong) than I should be.
At any rate, the fellow emailed me back, and we did a fair bit of mail volleying throughout the day while I was at work. It turns he's an utter gentleman. I had to flat out insist he stop apologising. He was embarassed by his "outburst," as he put it, with my lady. Here are some snippets:
"First of all, please accept my apology for the big surprise to your lady. Was she upset?, I'm sorry but I meant absolutely no offence!"
"If you don't mind (only if you don't mind), I would like for you to share some pics of your fiance's feet, some toes, soles, and heels. I think I should fully respect you in this matter."
H went on to say that her found her feet unusually attractive, and was mesmerised by them. Been there, done that - I think we all have at some point or the other.
So, I am pleased to say that he's just a regular foot dude who is embarassed about his fetish, and who is having extreme difficulty broaching the subject with his lady, whose feet he isn't particularly fond of anyway. Poor guy.
I will continue to keep you posted, but I don't want to divulge too much of the guy's personal details in case he decides to join this forum; I figure I will reserve for him the right to tell his stories, should he choose to.
Best wishes, and I look forward to your comments (even yours coed) as always!
-------------------- I love stinky wrinkled soles! Posts: 130 | Registered: Sep 2006
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Send him a couple with your girls permission and see what his response is like and proceed to the next step?
Posts: 21 | Registered: Feb 2006
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nose4toes.. you're a standup guy... nice way of handling it!
if he's looking for pics.. hopefully he'll come here (or my site).
I'm just happy for him that he met a nice person to handle this. imagine if someone had gone off on him cussing him out in email.. the damage could be worse.
yeah.. i can play the devil's advocate.. but that isn't my job. cudos to you Nose4toes
I sent "bus-stop foot-guy" a few pictures, which started up another volley of emails. I think that was the true test of the fellow's personality; how he reacted to the photographs I sent.
The good news: he's still the same gent he was when he sent his first reply - still ultra polite and respectful. We seem to have a bunch of other stuff in common, so we'll probably head out for a pizza one of these days, and talk feet all evening!
My friends, and quite a few of my colleagues, know I like feet, but they don't really understand why, and can't relate. It'll be cool for both of us to have someone "local" to have a good chin-wag over feet. I'm glad we made this connection. If nothing else, maybe the guy won't feel quite so "weird" for liking feet anymore.
-------------------- I love stinky wrinkled soles! Posts: 130 | Registered: Sep 2006
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bluetoelover
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posted
point in him the direction of the forum...meet a shitload of more people all over the world that shares his interest/love of feet. Congrats of meeting a fellow foot lover locally that you can chat up and hang out with. Glad it all worked out for you.
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Why aren't you alarmed by your woman’s plan to e-mail erotic photos of herself to an aggressively creepy stranger? After all, every e-mail does have a return address that can easily be traced to your home address and phone number. Those kinds of traces require cheap, readily available, and easy to use software now.
quote:Originally posted by FTPHANTOM: That's great to,get to have a fellow foot dude as a friend out side of cyberspace
It's definitely cool. Most of my friends and colleagues know I love feet, but they can't relate. It'll be fun to get together with someone who can!
quote:Originally posted by Sid11711: Why aren't you alarmed by your woman’s plan to e-mail erotic photos of herself to an aggressively creepy stranger?
Clearly, either you didn't read my post, or you found it challenging to understand.
I'll also point out here that you're making value judgements on two things you're not in a position to make.
quote:Originally posted by Sid11711: After all, every e-mail does have a return address that can easily be traced to your home address and phone number.
Does that include yahoo, hotmail, gmail, and even the servers I run, that are fully anonymous?
A quick update though on the friendship that is emerging between me, "bus-stop foot-guy" and our significant others: the four of us (bus-stop foot-guy, his lady, my lady and myself) are all going out for dinner on Friday evening.
One of our plans is for us to talk about feet a little bit. His lady sees it as "strange" that he loves feet, so our plan is to talk about it in a natural way, to try to remove the stigma from it as far as she is concerned. It'll also help him not feel quite so ashamed about his love of feet.
Life's good, if you can learn to enjoy it!
-------------------- I love stinky wrinkled soles! Posts: 130 | Registered: Sep 2006
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I can see why you sent the intro email and imagine he will be surprised as hell to read it...but if that is in fact part of her daily routine then I wouldnt want to feed his appetite by sending him a pic because a pic will probably just never be enough. Hopefully that it was a "chance" meeting. I never took into account that her taking the bus was part of her routine and he could be "studying" her, but I still got to give him a pat on the back so to speak for actually going up to her and asking because I'll be the first to admit that I would never dream of asking a random hottie on the street to take a picture of her feet..I mean how many people can honestly say that they would? Whether it be fear of rejection or just plain ol' being a pussy I dunno but you will never catch me asking a girl that.I have enough trouble as it is asking to play with my girls feet. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
I also agree that your girl has some talented toes! ![[Drool]](graemlins/drool.gif)
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