posted
Dump her and move on. Your not happy, she's not happy. Its time to end it. Life is short and you have to enjoy it. Do you really want to be with a woman who doesn't like sex(or at least want to please you) for years or decades to come? You deserve better. There are billions of women on this planet, find one you can be happy with.
Posts: 40 | Registered: Feb 2005
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posted
ok, thanks to everyone who's helped me in my situation. since last posting a lot has hapened in my relationship. we had an enormouse arguement last weekend but it seemed good for us both to vent stuff. i've come to understand that my lady has been under a lot of stress and since we've fought and made up the relationship is getting much better.
in argueing she complained about me wanting to have sex too much, so my guess is im putting too much pressure on her, so i'm hoping that now im easing off and relaxing a bit things will get better. i can understand she is not a very confident person but it has still been damn hard for me not to feel rejected and crap about myself.
we did have a sexual encounter the other night which involved her feet, WOOHOO! but since then ive just been backing off and trying to take it easy, spending loads of time with my mates becasue i dont want my foot fetish to completely consume me.
my main worry is that when im with her i am now resisting touching her feet becasue she associated that with me wanting sex. and if i imply i want sex it just pressures her and puts her off. i just hope i can somehow make her more relaxed but to be honest im loosing patiece/finding myself attracted to other girls.
something i've always struggled is with is charisma. as me and my girlfriend get older im finding it hard to excite her like i used to. im lacking confidence in being myself. instead i put on a tough man front in hope that she doesnt see how sexually frustrated i am. i cant really verbalise it to her cos i've done it already and made the situation worse. i just need to make some positive actions/ wait for her to feel un pressured/ do some good "get her in the mood" techniques!
im struggling with confidence in bed with my lady for fear of rejection.
any sex gods got any pulling or techniques or tips they'd happily share?
perhaps im going the complete wrong way about it, trying to hard to be cool?
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Bidit: Dump her and move on. Your not happy, she's not happy. Its time to end it. Life is short and you have to enjoy it. Do you really want to be with a woman who doesn't like sex(or at least want to please you) for years or decades to come? You deserve better. There are billions of women on this planet, find one you can be happy with.
i know where youre coming from. i do debate it. im just worried that this situation is my fault. i am trying to be understanding, it just sucks because the only thing missing from our relationship is a good sex life. i still love her and it would be shallow of me to dump her for that only.
i dont feel im the type of guy to have one night stands, i dont have the confidence to get with anyone else sexually
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
having a girl with little sexuall demands is frustrating, but its also comforting to me because im scared of being with a girl that is hard to please sexually. deep down i dont have much confidence myself.
my lady is having troubles at home. its only now she has a safe home to go to, i can understand her wanting to relax with her mum. i just wanna get my girl in the mood now and again ya know?
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
pppps. sorry for all the posts. shes also on her period right now so i guess thats also a big red light to back off!
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Sinnister: Don't ever take what I have to say as advice, but what I think is she's really not that into the relationship anymore. Once she says she doesn't really like giving footjobs that's meant to hurt you.
You should seriously look at the overall picture and judge weather or not you want her to be dictating how you get off. Because in the grand scheme of things somebody who really loves has absolutely no problem with a foot fetish and all that comes with it.
Actually, I think your post is the best advice someone could give (as usual). Neat, clean and direct.
The problem is, it's so to the point, that it's practically impossible to take it in and let it sink, because it's such a big step in the other direction. While at this point it may seem harder to do what Sinnister suggested, trust me when I say, that when you look back after some time, you will see that it is the best thing you could do right now. Unless you're masochistic and enjoy in prolonging your pain. The way I see it, this is a one way street. It takes some grande cojones to do that big step, but it will happen sooner or later. If not from your side, then definetly from her's.
Sexual deprivation can never be healthy for a relationship.
-------------------- "I feel the need. The need for speed!" Posts: 166 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
thanks for your advice. what you say is true. apart from the lack of sex, it feels like me and my girlfriend are getting on better and better each day, so you can't tell me she's not into the relationship.
my problem is i cannot justify breaking up with my longterm girlfriend due to lack of footjobs and un regular sex. she's had a lot of family problems and has been under a lot of stress recently and i have put a lot of pressure on her with my sexual frustration.
i am sexually frustrated and i consider getting angry and breaking up with her/telling her how unsatisfied i am but a part of me feels i may have brought it on myself by not being an understanding boyfriend.
everyday i've seen her recently she's been affectionate as she ever was, and yesterday she was quite down so i comforted her. despite being unhappy about the sex i do still love her.
after our big arguement i can see her making a much bigger effort in the relationship. my demands also make me feel guilty. i just wanna take the stress out of our relationship cos' theres been a lot of it. maybe if she felt easier about things then our sex life would come a whole lot easier too?
i guess now im struggling to tell how sexually deprived i am for fear of upsetting what seems to be on the mend. but yes for now i just gotta keep my options open and indeed i am considering the overall picture. to be honest im sick of thinking about it right now, i gotta do something to make me forget about sex, girls n' relationships...theres more to life right.
where this will all lead i have no idea, but thanks for all your suggestions and help.
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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