posted
Update on this situation: We were sort of seeing each other but is like a secret relationship as none of my family want me to get back with her for obvious reasons & basically it isn't working out.
We ain't really bothered about seeing each other we only do about once a week, but the problem is i feel if i lose her i wont meet someone else as im not open about my fetish & never want to be as i be ridiculed by my friends & family, & if i get with another girl who's expierienced she'll think im wierd & dump me if i struggle to get aroused as soon as she gets naked, i dont want to be lonely, please help!
-------------------- I want you to sit on my chest, and then rest you lusciuos Soles on my face Posts: 245 | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
It sounds like your mind is working overtime in this situation. You're assuming that certain things will happen if you make a clean break from your ex and start dating other women.
I do understand about wanting to keep your liking of women's feet private and away from friends and family. That's all well and good because that's something that you choose to keep private. However, what proof do you have that the next woman you're with will "dump" you and think you're "weird" because you like her feet and they turn you on?
The answer to that question is that you don't have proof. I find that, more often than not, we'll develop scenarios in our heads which, when it comes down to push and shove, have no basis in reality. You're creating all of these "what if" scenarios in your mind that, in the present, and probably in the future, don't, and won't, even exist.
I understand that it may be scary to let go of what you know because, with your ex, it's something you're used to and you're comfortable with. However, you can't let what you had with her rule your thinking. You have to move on and, in due time, try and meet other women.
Chances are, the first few women you may meet and be interested in may not be your type anyway and, hopefully, you'll find that out before things get too deep into it. I'm thinking you probably learned the type of behavior that is completely unacceptable to you from your ex so take that experience and make sure that never happens to you again.
It's okay for guys to be selective when it comes to meeting women. There's no need to be, or feel, desperate. The more desperate you're feeling and acting, the more you'll scare women off and make them run in the other direction anyway. If your liking of women's feet is bothering you, then you need to focus on the things about you that are positive. I once heard that it's best to accentuate the positives and don't even mention the negatives. That is probably what you should start doing. After awhile, the negatives begin to matter less, since the positives become stronger.
-------------------- "I like feet... A lot!" Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
is bossy (dont like me being with friends much) is embarrassing sometimes as she can be loud family dont like her
these are deal breakers for me especially the family not liking her
if you're close with your parents at all, listen to them because THEY KNOW
-------------------- quote: ---------------------------------- posted by Andy - Laa: my posts in this thread are not as good as Michael P's Posts: 3024 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
they say chicks like bad boys, clearly many guys like bad girls
-------------------- quote: ---------------------------------- posted by Andy - Laa: my posts in this thread are not as good as Michael P's Posts: 3024 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I promised some castigation but it's late and I've got some other things on my agenda which require my attention so I'll be brief, even terse:
You Dope! You are so busy imagining all the terrible outcomes you might have without this hosebag that you have overlooked the more grim possibilities by staying with her!
I would advise that you check to see who is walking around with your balls...smart money would wager on her. How has she got you believing that you can't "get it up" with anyone but her?
You confuse "lonely" with being "alone". There' a big difference.
Enough said. Give this some genuine thought.
Posts: 5067 | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
to answer above questions im 21, & she's not a leo she's a saggiterious.
Im really trying to let go & move on & think its going well, im pumping weights, mixing with friends & going out alot.
Its just she's always at the back of my mind, the situation atm is basically we see each other about every 2 weeks & keep having the same discussion that its not working trying to resolve it & end up making ourselves belive it can work & just wont make a clean break its really stupid.
We really aint meant for each other, she's loud im laid back, she's very energetic & im more a chilled out kinda guy, she drains me when im with her & look forward to our next 2 week break from her, the only thing i enjoy is the sex & cuddling up as im lonely.
She's like a security blanket to me, its like im assured in my head that i got someone and am not totally alone, & when i lost her the reality just hit me that im alone.
I know im pretty much answering my own questions & we should obviously split, but its not easy to just let her go & id hate to see her with a new bf while im still lonely jacking off at home while some guy has got my ex to fuck.
-------------------- I want you to sit on my chest, and then rest you lusciuos Soles on my face Posts: 245 | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
iv had a bad week havent seen her all week but id jump at the chance if she calls as im feeling very lonely & down, i feel if i let her go i wont ever settle down with another girl as im rubbish in bed as its harder to get aroused as i have a fetish & tbh i am not the best socielly, anybody help me
-------------------- I want you to sit on my chest, and then rest you lusciuos Soles on my face Posts: 245 | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
it sucks to know an ex that you care about is with another person, it really sucks when you know that other person.
life tends to suck, more often than not, it can make you cling to the things that you like, making it even worse when you lose those things.
there is no 'perfect person' but when you find someone and never give thier imperfections a second thought, that is love, for however long it may last.
Posts: 426 | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
from a females point of view: I had to go and read your post a couple times just to make sure I was reading it correctly. It seems as though you are playing with emotions in some areas of your relationship. You stated that you hated the fact she was so clingy with you, and you couldn't even go out with your friends and wanted you freedom. You started to treat her badly and threatened to break up with her. but when she did start going out and not depending on you, you got upset and wanted her around. She accused you of cheating, you accused her of cheating. Now not taking sides in this post, it is obvious you both have trust issues with each other. I think you both like the idea of a relationship with each other, but you two obviously are searching for other qualities that are not present. I like to call this being addicted to each other. You long for when they aren't around but when they do come along the honeymoon only last a few weeks before the tidle wave of emotions starts. The fact that she has been verbally abuseive to your family makes we wonder why you would even want that negativity in your life. Unless you enjoy the rollercoaster of emotions you both present to each other, i would say cut ties and move on to save you both alot of resentment and confusion to each other.
posted
Sounds like you are opposites and perhaps that is what attracted you to each other, but you realize that it is not working anymore -
No one can complete you - sounds like you only miss her when you are in a negative, vulnerable state. Easier to say than to do, but keep going out and working on yourself. And perhaps when you are in a positive vulnerable state, like sharing feelings/dreams with a woman at a party or so - that will be something worth wanting again.
Why do you keep having the same conversations/complaints? One of you, if it is going to work, has to make the first move/behavior change.
Knowing something does not matter much - it is the actions you take congruent to that knowledge that will make a difference/the difference.
posted
thanks for replies, update on this situation, i havent heard from her for about a week & half apparently she's lost her mobile, but she knows my number of her head & could obviously find a way of contacting me its just an excuse not to see me & keep stringing me along, i let her do this as i feel lonely & feel i wont meet someone else,we obviously dont get along as we both always come out with excuses not to see each other but just want to keep the option, i need to become more independent, maybe its not helping because im stressing big time over money as i have alot of pressures atm such as my car MOT running out soon & i havent got any money & i never want to lose my car, i feel id be more confident if i was financially secure, this could be a blessing in disguise her losing her mobile as i cant call her (i would of by now). Replies & Opinions Welcome
-------------------- I want you to sit on my chest, and then rest you lusciuos Soles on my face Posts: 245 | Registered: Jul 2004
| IP: Logged |
We all require a lot of attention. We all get needy. We all need reassurance we are "the one" and "the love of your life" etc... Why? Cause we have breasts, vaginas and hormones. Plain and simple. The balance is this-- A woman can find the balance and not go overboard. A child hasnt learned yet. How old are you two? Seriously, if you say early 20's -- I would blame most of this on age and stupidity.
With that said, it is NEVER acceptable to disrespect your mother. SHE HIT HER? Come on...
You have had 2 girls in a row cheat on you, and your confidence is low. Get back out there and stop looking at the past and what "could be" You cant change anyone except yourself.
But - I do stand by the fact that chicks are emotional - but some of us WORTH THE FIGHT and EFFORT
Posts: 1470 | Registered: Feb 2008
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Thumbs Up]](graemlins/thumbsup.gif)
