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Two guys were sitting at the bar in the Space Needle in Seattle.
The first looked around tiredly and said, "Y'know, the way the wind hits the needle, I can step out of the window and float. The updrafts will keep me right there."
The second guy laughs and says "I bet you a hundred bucks you're full of sh*t."
The first guy shrugs, pushes open the window, and steps out. Sure enough, he floats mid-air, inches away from the window sill.
The second guy's jaw drops and he immediately hands over the money, saying, "I gotta try that!" He then steps out of the window... and plummets to his death.
The bartender sighs, looks at the first guy, and says, "You're a mean drunk, Superman."
posted
Q. Did you hear about the hostage situation at the circus? A. It was in tents (say it out loud)
Posts: 563 | Registered: Feb 2009
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Q. How do you know you have a high sperm count? A. She chews before she swallows!
-------------------- "For me, the most beautiful aspect of the female foot is the soft, sensual, feminine curves of the soles to the crowning glory of the toes" Posts: 2814 | Registered: Jan 2010
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posted
'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'. "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." 'Is it common?' "It's not unusual."
-------------------- "When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit" - Dr Emmit L. Brown (Back To The Future) Posts: 7894 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
Not really a bad joke, but extremly hard to tell at full speed without getting twisted.
Two trees, a beech and a birch were growing in the forest; when they noticed a new tree growing quite close to them. The beech turned to the burch, and says, "Hey, my friend, is that a beech or a burch growing there"? The burch replied," I know not whether its a beech or a burch; but lets ask our woodpecker friend to find out"! So they ask their woodpecker buddy to fly down and sample the tree. The woodpecker soars down, takes a few pecks, and flies back to the two trees! Both trees are very excited, and finally the burch asks, "Well my woodpecker friend, is that young sapling either a beech or a burch"? The woodpecker replies; "Sorry my friends, but that is neither a beech or a burch, but the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in"!
Say that joke without fucking up in front of 10 people like I have!
Posts: 1061 | Registered: Feb 2005
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posted
Two little old ladies had a set date to meet for lunch in a park once a week. One day, one of the ladies was late. Her friend waited and waited, and finally the late one arrived. Shaking her head, the one who had been waiting asked, "Did you come on the bus?" The other flushed and said, "Yes, but I made it look like an asthma attack."
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