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Author Topic: Ways to piss off the wife
wvcple2003
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lets play a game guys. I said something involuntarly the other day and it really pissed the wife off; but It was funny as hell! So lets see if you guys can top me!

1. I told the wife that a cute girl at work had a fetish about bearded men. The next morning I decided I was tired of my facial features and decided to grow the 'unshaven look', guess what my wife had to say when I told her the reason for my not shaving; "You wanna f##k her dont you"! But truly, I just wanted a new look; not to grow a Grizzly Adams beard like the girl at work wants.

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wvcple2003
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Oh heres #2

2. Go buy a new digicam and smoochie the wife all day telling her im gonna take pics and post online ; buy a case of beer and a pint of yeager; have the wife spend 3 hours doing a home pedicure, and pass out when she finally gets done! That was 2 weeks ago, and Im still catching hell about it!

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Toetapper
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The way to make your wife scream twice in one night:

Take her anally without warning and, when finished, wipe yourself off on the curtains.

Sorry, old joke.

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LeDaemon
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Here's my contribution.

The Mrs. bought some hair color a while back and picks a color that she says is "her natural hair color."

I say to her, "Would that be gray?"


She got real touchy about that...

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nusuth
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[Laugh] @ LeDaemon

i have pissed my wife off in a million different ways including telling inappropriate stories to my kids about my HS years, but right now i am drawing a blank.

i do have a friend who posted on facebook a good way tho. he waited until she went to the bathroom and stood outside the door and did le mans breathing and cheered her on telling she could do it, push it out!

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Lord
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Once me and my wife were talking about ex's (she is now my ex also ... I wonder why?) and she wanted some details so i was telling her about losing my virginity and in the midst of my recollection I blurted out "God she gave the best blowjob"
Bad idea! [Mad]

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To get what you want. STOP doing what isn't working.

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Andy-Laa
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...my GF is on this forum...

hahahaha

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sofatater
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When the 'ol lady says "does this make my butt look big?", answer honestly. [Big Grin]

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Andy-Laa
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quote:
Originally posted by sofatater:
When the 'ol lady says "does this make my butt look big?", answer honestly. [Big Grin]

What guy doesn't like a big arse!?

[Big Grin]

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Ophillia
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this is AWESOME! keep it coming! the next time hubby says to What did i do to piss you off THIS time...im gonna show him this thread! [Laugh]

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Athena K
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quote:
Originally posted by Andy-Laa:
...my GF is on this forum...

hahahaha

I get pissed off at all kinds of stupid things. But I won't get pissed off if you tell some [Tongue]
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Andy-Laa
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I love you, darling [Smile]

Nothing to tell [Roll Eyes]

:L

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wvcple2003
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Get drunk and go to the Omelette Shop for a late night breakfast. Tell your waitress shes "fucking hott", when you think the wife is still on the pisser; but In reality she just sat back down 5 seconds earlier and you didn't notice! I DID NOT get laid that night, or anytime soon after,lol!
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sofatater
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During dinner one evening, the dog was on the floor near the wife and he was licking his "starfish". The wife saw him and said, "That's gross! Does he have to do that while I'm eating?"
I remembered a joke and I chuckled and replied "I just gave him some of your meatloaf. He must be trying to get the taste out of his mouth."
She didn't think it was quite as funny as the kids and I did. [Big Grin]

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wvcple2003
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One night a bunch of us guys from work went out back of the restaurant after hours to have a few beers. While most of were sitting around talking, guys and girls, I noticed the wife was kinda off to the side, chatting with a huge black cook that works with us! For some odd reason, (I was really really drunk); I yelled out to the wife; "WTF are you doing Sheila, trying to get some BBC". She was mortified, but everyone laughed. Come to find out, he was downloading songs from her phone, and needed away from the rest of us so he could tell her what he wanted.
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