I'm not sure how many of you can relate to this vs. how much is just my internal fucked-upness. I've been seeing this girl for a while now, and without boring you on too many of the details she has fooled around with me several times with her feet. In fact, that's how, knowing my fetish, she first chose to initiate sexual contact with me. Skip ahead to today. She is finaly comfortable enough with me to want actual sex, which is something I've wanted for a while now. And what the hell do I do? I go bloody soft about 5-10 minutes in. So now she feels like crap because she thinks I don't find her arousing enough to keep it up. And I feel like crap for making her feel that way and not being able to get her off. The worst part is that it's tough to dispute the physical evidence. I get off just fine while pleasuring myself to her feet, and when I actually try having sex with her I've got nothing. I am so beyond pissed off and disgusted with myself right now.
Posts: 152 | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
sounds like you might have gone to long without sex and you have masterbated to feet so long that your not responding sexually unless feet are involved somehow. i found myself in the same situation a few years ago. maybe massage her feet while having sex or suck her toes. after you have climaxed, you will put it all behind you. damn, do i sound like dr phil?!
Posts: 345 | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
It was probably just nerves and over-expectation, hopefully. How old are you? Have you ever had other problems with erectile disfunction. Next time, just in case, keep a Viagra tab in your wallet.
posted
Step one: Don't Panic! An erection is not as reliable a thing as you might think. It has moods, too. Good news: there are many romantic/sexy things that you can do during this unexpected intermission - I'll leave that to your inventiveness, depending on your specific situations. Be assured, you will make a "come-back". Just takes some time.
Step two: "Self-Spectatoring". Stop watching yourself! In your own imaginary way, you may be trying to watch (perhaps, assess) your own performance. Cut that out now! Don't think of the room, or how your physical condition matches the shape/color of the sheets or other irrelevant details. At the risk of being trite, you must now "be in the moment". Stop trying to visualize. Your happiest physical parts are now connected to hers. Stop thinking about it; stop trying to imagine it, since it is already happening.
Sex is about the "here-and-now". Just drink in the feelings that you are having right now. Nothing else matters beyond what you feel at this moment.
Caveat: you can worry about the consequences of your actions as your heart slows and slumber demands your attention.
Future be damned. I FEEL GREAT!!!!
Posts: 5067 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
most what needed to be said has been said. i've had moments like that myself.. and my wife takes it that i'm not in the mood.. and i hate that. but..i get past it... let the moment past... and continue (to which is tends to be surprised i'm in the mood).
i was always in the mood, just that for whatever the reason (self-spectatorin or not).. i couldn't hold wood.
talk to her. explain to her it's not her.. at times your mind gets so far ahead of you that you loose wood putting pressure on yourself to make her happy because you're so darned happy to be with her (don't say it too cheesy though).
then, tell her that you want to be with her and that if she's cool with it, you'll be cool. and then experiment.
the one thing you'll want to make sure of is that as you go along, your fetish isn't running the show and creating more "self-spectatoring". if so, you'll have many more events like it. if not.. you'll ride past it.
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You focused too much...one thing to help...beer. I know..sounds crazy..have about 3 beer before you guys meet up. a)beer will keep ya hard for longer and b)you'll get a lot more "cocky" so to speak. Turn the lights off during sex too..might help...don't make it obvious your turning the lights off...as in..don't be getting undressed and be like BAM..lights off,she'll think that you don't want to see her naked. Then have at er! Keep us updated!
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LOL Lights out... NOOOO... he will be missing half the excitement and fun of seeing her pleasure... Blue blue blue--- visual is half the fun!!!
Sweetie- you are just going to have to figure out what works for you two. Talk to her and if she is really into you, she will understand and make it her mission to help you along! You wont meet a couple around that doesnt have some sort of issue or hang-up. Personally, we have never dealt with this kind of issue- but believe me... in 18yrs... we have had our fair share of others!
Relax... but not too much! Posts: 1470 | Registered: Feb 2008
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bluetoelover
unregistered
posted
Oh don't get me wrong Foot girl...I'm all about the visual but for buddy who's having a little trouble it might help to get his confidence back on track
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lol I know... I am just the type that- if its dark- then half of the fun is gone. I cant see my heels, I cant see his face, I cant see the pillows and blankets on the floor! hahahaaa
Posts: 1470 | Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
Well, first of all I'd like to thank all of you for you input. It makes me feel good to know I can always count on this forum for support, just as I have for years.
I'm afraid I don't have any significant updates at this point. She said some rather unkind things to me after I got soft, and I was pretty pissed off. So I left to go walk it off before I had a chance to say anything nasty.
When I tried to explain that I left because I was angry about my lack of performance, she didn't believe me.
I'll let you guys know if anything new occurs, but I'm not optimistic at this point.
Posts: 152 | Registered: Jul 2006
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Sorry but thats bullshit- find another. Jerk off to my pics til then or something! lol
But... come on. No no no!
Posts: 1470 | Registered: Feb 2008
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bluetoelover
unregistered
posted
Well when your in the heat of the moment and she's revved up to get plugged and that happens the first thing she thinks is that she is not good enough or hot etc. Her saying that is just her first kneejerk reaction to it happening...maybe not the best but it was a reaction all the same. Same as me getting a BJ or FJ from the g/f and her just stopping and saying do it yourself...I don't call my g/f any degrading names..never have never will but I can guarantee you the first thing that would pop into my head wouldn't be a friendly name that's for sure...but it would be because I was all horned up to get my rocks off and then BAM...done just like that..nothing...except me hammering out a load myself...
Just talk to her bro...just explain to her what was happening and then why you walked out and then she will more then likely apologize...well..I would hope she would anyways and tell her you can't wait to do some ball slappin with her again...then grab her and have your way with her!
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posted
Well my last GF made some bad remarks about my sexual performance. First I got hard with putting her feet to my penis and she didnt seem to like that to much she said the she never heard of any body ever doing that before.
So I moved on to the main event where I lasted about 20 seconds.She was mad and just said that I was worst she had ever had and I wasted her time.
I found that it was better to leave and never go back than to take anymore verbal abuse from her.
So Just move on man and dont look back it isnt worth worring your self to sick about it.
-------------------- Oh my what huge feet you have my dear. Posts: 1727 | Registered: May 2008
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