being in college i'd expect that most people would be alot more open-minded then this, but i've gotten alot of shit for my foot fetish. i've only told a handful of people of campus that i'm apparently good friends with, and it ends up all over campus. everyone looks at me like a creep now because of it and i'm starting to think that this is the reason why my friends are starting to hook up because most girls that i have a interest in end up hooking up with them in order to avoid me because of my foot fetish. i know this post is long and makes almost no sense, but i don't know what else to do.
Posted by ozkar (Member # 13264) on :
Do you go to a big school or a small school?
I was shocked at how dumb and shitty "people" could be when I went to college. Believe me, "people" are pretty much not worth their carbon. I've seen new kinds of closedmindedness that I never realized existed. When you're done with school you'll find that the world is full of it too.
But let me tell you, speckled into all of it are some really cool people. If you give up on "people" you'll miss them too... So don't give up, but don't put up with any shit either.
If you make one or two good friends, it's good enough to make you forget about the rest of the assholes out there. Just take your time and don't get to worried about it. You'll bump into them when you least expect it.
Just doing your thing and being groovy has a way of making you find the good people faster. I met some of the best friends in my life from study groups and getting together with people to do homework.
Posted by Girlgotsole (Member # 14405) on :
People are afraid, because they're ignorant. I like to sugar-coat it a bit, at first. Here's what I say, and it works, so try it: I just think girls are beautiful barefoot. You know, that idea and thought of being carefree, barefoot in a field or garden. To me, a girl being barefoot just shows that carefree nature, and that's what I look for in a woman. Is that really so weird?
That's one of the ones I use, anyway. The other just says that all the grace of a woman is based on her feet, so I connect with a woman's grace with her foot, but I like the first one better, and use it more often.
I hope this helps! Just saying "I have a foot fetish" leaves the horribly assumptions that society and 20/20 has created in people's minds to run rampant. So you must give them your own, understandable definition. You can take this and come off as deep, trust me.
Remember, what is there to butts or breasts? They're just fat. At least feet have a purpose.
I hope this helped, black! Good luck!
Posted by nylonfootsniffer (Member # 3488) on :
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88: . i've only told a handful of people of campus that i'm apparently good friends with, and it ends up all over campus.
There is the problem my friend. You tell a "handfull" then rest assure, you told everyone. Persoanlly, while I am not exactly ashamed of my liking for feet, I don't ever refer to it as a "fetish" something about that very word brings all kinds of strange and bizarre thoughts to some people's minds. Also, I don't usually feel the need to share what turns me on sexually with other people unless it is someone I am intimately involved with.
Posted by Lyrical (Member # 6603) on :
It sems bad believe me but there are some of those females that are secretly thinking about what that means. maybe try regular conversation but if your boys try to give you a hard time get them to expose what they like, you may be surprised at what you find and they may be alittle embarrassed if they are put on the spot.
Posted by Mr Magoo (Member # 17714) on :
I agree with nylon foot sniffer on this one. You can tell one friend and then everyone knows. The worst ones seem to be lad mates, they are the ones who will tell everyone. My girlfriend has told all her girl mates though and they seem to quite like the idea, they always tease me when they come round... dangling thier shoes and asking for footrubs which my girlfriend doesn't mind me doing....
Posted by alonsogd7 (Member # 14196) on :
Dude sorry for tell you this but as i have told many times in the forum, we don't need to aproach to people and thell them that you have a "Foot Fetish" man if you want to talk about it, just say that girls has nice feet stuff like that, or just that you like woamn feet, i don't think that everybody need s details of the things you like of feet, we're a small comunity we can't pretend to make everybody happy, or make every single girl showing their feet to us, man you have to underestand people always going to be like that, when you like something very different, you are going to be pointed by society as freak or somehting, i think you just need to keep it for your self, if you find a girl fine , with time tell her about your foot fetish, but for god sake man if you want to be normal stop saying i have a foot fetish, what you like it's feet, you like girls feet that's what you should tell people just that.
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
well, that's what i say. but people tend to start drama on this campus (i learned the hard way on that one)
Posted by Diabolicus (Member # 7743) on :
The only people who know are me, ex and current girl friends, and my best friend since grade 6.
I don't really tell people if they don't need to know. If I didn't have a foot fetish, I wouldn't go up to people to tell them that I like tits. Same thing applies here, people often times don't need/want to hear.
Posted by Bondo (Member # 1403) on :
Yeah, people can be ignorant, but the best way to counteract ignorance is with knowledge. If you ever encounter someone who thinks you're a "freak" because of your fetish, let them know the truth.
Having a foot fetish doesn't make us freaks, acting like freaks makes people freaks.
Posted by Diabolicus (Member # 7743) on :
In addition to Bondos excellent remarks, it probably helps to make the people understand what it really means to have a foot fetish.
Hell, let them know that you are not some freak who stalks women for their shoes. Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
i don't want to be lengthy or repeat what was said. keep up the heart and faith my friend. weather this out.. you'll move and grow past it.
in my case.. more folks know than i would care for. most don't say a word. some do.. but they've learned I don't care what they think. so long as my folks don't get involved.
for the most part.. it's led me to know who is real and sincere.. and also let me to meet other women who don't mind me having an interest in feet and heels. notice how i phrased it.. an interest.
in fact.. some places i go.. the gals ask me to comment on their pedicure, their heels.. even photograph them and email them their feet pics.
the cooler i was with the subject (and the less i dwelded on it) the more folks accepted that I've got a unique interest. many have suggested i become a shoe designer because i'm so understanding of the plight of women's feet.
it's all in the approach.. i didn't get the formula right until about 2 years ago. before then.. i got stares.. looks.. and learned to hid my interests. now.. i am more free, though i don't advertise my interest.
hope that helps.. ride it out fella!
RPM
Posted by Plastercast to thank (Member # 827) on :
quote:Originally posted by Girlgotsole: People are afraid, because they're ignorant. I like to sugar-coat it a bit, at first. Here's what I say, and it works, so try it: I just think girls are beautiful barefoot. You know, that idea and thought of being carefree, barefoot in a field or garden. To me, a girl being barefoot just shows that carefree nature, and that's what I look for in a woman. Is that really so weird?
That's one of the ones I use, anyway. The other just says that all the grace of a woman is based on her feet, so I connect with a woman's grace with her foot, but I like the first one better, and use it more often.
I hope this helps! Just saying "I have a foot fetish" leaves the horribly assumptions that society and 20/20 has created in people's minds to run rampant. So you must give them your own, understandable definition. You can take this and come off as deep, trust me.
Remember, what is there to butts or breasts? They're just fat. At least feet have a purpose.
I hope this helped, black! Good luck!
That's an exellent way of looking at it & I would advise anyone that be new to this board to try using your method of describing it.
Posted by Ummmmm (Member # 15145) on :
Well said by RPM and Nylon!
Another approach I've used is the, "You don't know what you're missing!" to woman. I'm causual and not ashamed when ask. (I don't volunteer my fetish) I don't look like a freak when I'm confident and not ashamed.
Hope that helps.
Posted by Outback69 (Member # 2217) on :
I like the way that a lot of people here have summarized the fact that if you act like a freak about it people will think that you are a freak.
Like it has been said in this thread, the cool approach to it has always worked for me.
People will find fault with everything if you give them the ammunition. But put the whole foot fetish thing in perspective to them and make it seem like it's not a big deal and it gives them less to talk about.
To quote Calico Jack
"Be proud of your preference for feet!"
Posted by bluetoelover (Member # 14736) on :
I recently told my friend who already knew along with my other friends but when I told him I made it clear that I was just into the barefeet nothing more...I didnt go into graphic details but I just wanted to explain it a little so he wouldnt be like oh he fucks shoes or something...so when telling someone no matter who it is just briefly tell them what it entails for you...no graphic details but educate them.
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
well, i've never been really a confident person on anything. socially, soccer-wise, anyhting really. plus before i came to school it was something i hid really well but i felt i should come to terms with it and accept it.
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
plus i've never gone into detail about it. i compliment most girls and all, but never say flat out i have a foot fetish. it's just that people like putting words in other people's mouths here. i go to a small school by the way.
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
C88,
let me just add one little thing that I sometimes overlook when I post.. I was shy about this and took nearly a decade to be smooth about the topic of feet.
I wanted to come out clean over a decade ago. I followed things online for most of that decade. couldn't bring the nerves to say a word, let alone allow myself to enjoy what I like.
it's been about 4 years now that i've finally broken the ice nicely. so.. if you're in a hurry... you'll stumble more than you need to.
and by the way, don't want to rain on your parade, but you keep saying you'll neveerr really be a confident person, you won't ever be one. i've learned that the hard way. trust me on this... stop thinking that way.. stop saying it that way.. no matter what the evidence seems to tell you. no matter what your past experience seems to suggest to you.
i'm happy i was patient (though hard on myself) and now.. today.. i'm cool about my feet interest. you've got a bigger hurdle than I had to deal with, a small school. however.. you being on here so young (an assumption of mines of course) let's me say one thing, you're more confident about this than I ever was at your age!!!!!!!! that says a whole lot about you.
so, wihtout sounding patronizing, please... live up to the confidence you've shown. you're the man!!! you've got the heart of a champ!!!! you're smarter than most folks you'll run into or have run into. you've got the sensitivity women are dying for (but at your age group.. haven't realized they're looking for it yet). let them grow up a little.. and then.. they'll seee.. it's better to have the strong confident sweetheart than the wannabe strong badboy that will hurt them.
by the way.. i admire the fact you play soccer!!!
Pace yourself... you coming on this forum and taking all this talk from us.. man... you da man!!!
everyone.. a cyber round of applause for our man BlackHxC88!!!!!!!! he's got a huge set of brass balls for being so open with us... women should be lucky to know him.!!!!!
RPM
Posted by bluetoelover (Member # 14736) on :
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88: being in college i'd expect that most people would be alot more open-minded then this, but i've gotten alot of shit for my foot fetish. i've only told a handful of people of campus that i'm apparently good friends with, and it ends up all over campus. everyone looks at me like a creep now because of it and i'm starting to think that this is the reason why my friends are starting to hook up because most girls that i have a interest in end up hooking up with them in order to avoid me because of my foot fetish. i know this post is long and makes almost no sense, but i don't know what else to do.
sorry but I think there is a little more to it than that
if a girl SUPPOSEDLY loses interest in you over a little foot fetish, she never had much interest to begin with
Posted by FTPHANTOM (Member # 47) on :
Let this be a leason,you really don't need to tell people about your thing for feet,some time's it can help,just depending on certain thing's,and the help part is slim.I know what your going through.The best thing to do now,is keep your thing for feet on the down low,and let the storm of ignorance blow over.
Posted by Footman9 (Member # 1100) on :
Weather this mild storm and stay true to you . Some just don't get it or ever will. You are not a freak, just unique (for your affinity for pretty feet) and not like the everyday Joe who is just into bodacious ta-tas. You are in a large (Foot) fraternity that is around the world --be proud. You can express your thing for pretty feet in a subtle, but cool way that gets attention. Choose your words carefully and women will pick up your vibe without you being loud about it. Women are very intuitive.
Posted by Champpalmer (Member # 16374) on :
The worst thing you can do now is be ashamed and hide it. Stand up for what your preferences are. It shouldn't matter what your "so called" friends think is creepy or not. They way I figure it, if the have to cut you down for a laugh then they are not really your friends anyway. F*&# them.
I recently told my brother that I ran my own site dedicated to foot fetish. Sure he laughed in the beginning..now he frequents the site daily.
Stand proud in who you are.
Posted by Rae124 (Member # 328) on :
Don't tell you mates. There's no need to really. And try and hook up with girls that aren't part of your immediate circle of friends.
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by Mighty Mike:
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88: being in college i'd expect that most people would be alot more open-minded then this, but i've gotten alot of shit for my foot fetish. i've only told a handful of people of campus that i'm apparently good friends with, and it ends up all over campus. everyone looks at me like a creep now because of it and i'm starting to think that this is the reason why my friends are starting to hook up because most girls that i have a interest in end up hooking up with them in order to avoid me because of my foot fetish. i know this post is long and makes almost no sense, but i don't know what else to do.
sorry but I think there is a little more to it than that
if a girl SUPPOSEDLY loses interest in you over a little foot fetish, she never had much interest to begin with
actually, there is a little more to some of this. but when i talked to the girls about it they always say it's the fetish that ruined it.
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by Rae124: Don't tell you mates. There's no need to really. And try and hook up with girls that aren't part of your immediate circle of friends.
well, i haven't hooked up with any so far. and for some reason once i'm done talking to a girl that I feel i've made uncomfortable, they end up in my circle of "Friends"
Posted by Champpalmer (Member # 16374) on :
If and when you decide to break the news to them that you preference is for feet, how do you tell them? Its it basically straight forward as to saying "Hey..I'm a footguy and I have a foot fetish" or is it more subtle?
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
subtle, i just offer a foot massage after about the 3rd or 4th long conversation i have with a girl. then i kinda beat around the bush with it saying i have a "thing for feet" and not outright saying i have a foot fetish.
Posted by Rae124 (Member # 328) on :
Yeah, I say I have a 'thing for cute toes'. That's usually the non-freakiest way to tell a non feet person.
Posted by DennisIsEvil (Member # 11755) on :
No offense but most of "the boys" are your enemies. Don't tell them about the girls you want because 10 times out of 10 they'll try for them anyway just to say they have it an you don't or try to make you sound like a creep to them.
Anytime some schmuck says "bros before hos" he usually means "except when it's me and they're my hos". There's a reason just about all my friends are women.
As for approaching chicks I compliment their feet and talk to them. The ones who are cool with it I keep talking to. The vapid Brittney Spears wanna be cunts who are still living in their warped unattainable goddess fantasy aren't worth your time.
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
beieve me, i've learned that the hard way. but thanks to something that happened a couple of days ago, i'm not fucking with shy girls anymore.
Posted by bluetoelover (Member # 14736) on :
do tell hawk!
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
well, if you wanna know, i might as well tell.
a couple of days ago, i met a girl in the dining hall who i thought was really cool. i talked to her for a while and we both agreed to go to lunch with eac other the next day.
the next day i go to the dining hall and wait for her, and she doesn't show up. so i call her dorm about 2-3 times seeing if she was there.
later that night, some guy gets in my face while i'm walking to the library telling me that she told him i was trying to get in her pants. he proceeds to threaten me about it(she's in a frat girl and she apparently told all he frat brothers this bullshit lie) then i send her a facebook message asking why she would lie about me. she says it's because i called her room about why she didn't show up to lunch and claimed i was stalking her. I JUST FUCKING MET HER!!!
if she didn't like me or wanted to go, she should've fuckin' told me, not ditch me and make me call her about it.
Posted by bluetoelover (Member # 14736) on :
I can see what your saying about her ditching you...but I dont think there was a need for calling her room 2 or 3 times.Maybe once would be good...or if that was what she wanted you to do then you should have just not called her and said fuck her. Chicks are like that man..always playing games...
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
well, thinking about it now, i shouldn't not talked to her period. something always happens that ruins my shit. well, at least she doesn't know about "the foot thing"
Posted by bluetoelover (Member # 14736) on :
always a bright side to everything:)
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
lol. yeah, i guess.
Posted by Champpalmer (Member # 16374) on :
Note to self. Date 25 year or older chicks. Or at least persue the ones that exhibit more maturity.
She wasn't worth your time anyways if she didn't have the decency to cancel before hand. Keep truckin man and don't get down on yourself.
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
note to self.... older women make more sense than younger ones. i learned in college... almost painfully.. if a gal doesn't show up when you have a 'date' set.. let her call you to explain or just assume she's not interested. no calls from me.. they assume you're a stalker if you do.. the rules have changed.
so... if i'm stood up.. i move on... no conversations about it. but if we've known each other a while.. that is different.
keep your chin up. those... painful lessons will prove so helpful later in life. Trust me.. it may take years before you see the value in them.
women are a tricky bunch.. but in time.. they make more sense.. just don't ever assume you'll have them totally figured out.. on one can!! not even themselves!
RPM
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
well, i have 4 sisters and i'm the youngest, so i was expecting to know SOMETHING. boy, how wrong was I
Posted by Plastercast to thank (Member # 827) on :
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88: well, thinking about it now, i shouldn't not talked to her period. something always happens that ruins my shit. well, at least she doesn't know about "the foot thing"
For your own sake that's a great thing because I get the distink impression that she would't have been cool about it at all. I hope you have a lot more luck in the future & manage to get yourself a really good Foot-Queen inthe procces.
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by Plastercast to thank:
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88: well, thinking about it now, i shouldn't not talked to her period. something always happens that ruins my shit. well, at least she doesn't know about "the foot thing"
For your own sake that's a great thing because I get the distink impression that she would't have been cool about it at all. I hope you have a lot more luck in the future & manage to get yourself a really good Foot-Queen inthe procces.
i hope so myself, but i'm holding on to little hope at the moment.
Posted by JayArr (Member # 2229) on :
Just jumping in after a long absence from this site...
Sorry to hear about your situation, black.
I see you were born in June '88; I was born in April '83 ... so I guess I'm a little ahead of you, at least chronologically. I was very naive about things back at 18. And I still am. But not quite so much now. I can say I've been in your position. I dunno if my old posts are accessible, but if they are, you will find my personal experiences written down in a few of 'em.
Ol' William Shakespeare said that the world's a stage and all the people merely players. That's true to some extent, but it seems more like a game to me -- a very complicated game, where no one tells you the rules; you have to learn 'em as you go. It sounds like you have the maturity to learn fast. I am sure that you'll be doing better than me at 23! Listen to the guys n gals in here. There are people here that know their stuff. And chin up! I think you're gonna be fine!
P.S. You won't be at your current school/college forever. A change of place means a change of people. And a fresh start. And you can change things within the same place by broadening your interests and meeting new people.
Not meaning to lecture, though. I also tend to over-analyse and have trouble fitting in! Big social places like school/college/uni have always sucked for me! It's a tough ol' world, that's for sure, but as tough as people like us have it, we're at least fortunate enough to be living in rich, liberal societies (imagine if you were born in Africa, for example). I know that might sound lame, but thoughts like that always shake me up and keep the motor of optimism running. So don't listen to me too much ... but DO listen to these people! Past a certain threshold, I think foot fetishists end up being wise beyond their years. What a cool club to belong to.
[ January 23, 2007, 02:02 AM: Message edited by: JayArr ]
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by JayArr: Just jumping in after a long absence from this site...
Sorry to hear about your situation, black.
I see you were born in June '88; I was born in April '83 ... so I guess I'm a little ahead of you, at least chronologically. I was very naive about things back at 18. And I still am. But not quite so much now. I can say I've been in your position. I dunno if my old posts are accessible, but if they are, you will find my personal experiences written down in a few of 'em.
Ol' William Shakespeare said that the world's a stage and all the people merely players. That's true to some extent, but it seems more like a game to me -- a very complicated game, where no one tells you the rules; you have to learn 'em as you go. It sounds like you have the maturity to learn fast. I am sure that you'll be doing better than me at 23! Listen to the guys n gals in here. There are people here that know their stuff. And chin up! I think you're gonna be fine!
P.S. You won't be at your current school/college forever. A change of place means a change of people. And a fresh start. And you can change things within the same place by broadening your interests and meeting new people.
Not meaning to lecture, though. I also tend to over-analyse and have trouble fitting in! Big social places like school/college/uni have always sucked for me! It's a tough ol' world, that's for sure, but as tough as people like us have it, we're at least fortunate enough to be living in rich, liberal societies (imagine if you were born in Africa, for example). I know that might sound lame, but thoughts like that always shake me up and keep the motor of optimism running. So don't listen to me too much ... but DO listen to these people! Past a certain threshold, I think foot fetishists end up being wise beyond their years. What a cool club to belong to.
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