The very nature of foot fetishism puts women on a pedastal. Are we all Romeos? Romantic and sensitive to the needs of our women when compared to the average guy? GQguy
Posted by Toe Sucker II (Member # 1720) on :
i think thats a great way to see it.
i wish it would be seen by society as that. Posted by muleslicker (Member # 3049) on :
I am very romantic and a huge foot lover, I treat my wife with the upmost respect and always try and surprise her with a romantic idea. The love is strong and life is very short enjoy your time together and try and make some days extra special 'working days'
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
i'm pretty romantic and very attentive to my wife needs. not all foot guys are romantic and not romantics are foot guys. but nice theory. (wonder if the breast guys feel the same)
RPM
Posted by dougiezerts (Member # 6829) on :
Well, we're more willing to give foot massages than regular guys! Ladies ought to respect that.
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
i don't think we are putting them on a pedestal
a foot guy looks at feet the same way a breast man looks at breasts
a non foot guy kissing a girls feet is putting a girl on a pedestal
as for being romantic, i can only speak for myself, i don't buy flowers or take girls to fancy dinners, if that's romantic i don't want to be romantic
i'm more of a Mcdonald's type of guy and i think poetry is for wimps
i treat chicks with respect but i would not say i'm romantic, and from what i've seen i don't think a lot of chicks like a romantic guy
what they like to see in movies is not the same as what they like in real life
Posted by Uno1 (Member # 2883) on :
Personally, I think it is a matter of putting girls on a pedestal, at least part of the time. The fact that I'm attracted to female feet in general wouldn't change the fact that it's also my way of showing adoration for a woman.
Also, what's with certain people's "foot guy/breast guy" distinction? Foot guys are breast guys too . It's as I said, we're just into "all that and more."
quote:Originally posted by Toe Sucker II: i wish it would be seen by society as that.
Same here. The only reason I keep it a secret is because I know society in general views it as weird...even though Hollywood and the film industry have taken steps toward making it "normal."
Oh and, yes, I'm a romantic type of guy.
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
[quote="Uno1"]Also, what's with certain people's "foot guy/breast guy" distinction? Foot guys are breast guys too . It's as I said, we're just into "all that and more." [/quote]
just playing on stereotypes a little Uno1. I like the whole woman.. all of her!
I'm with you though...
RPM
Posted by Uno1 (Member # 2883) on :
You know what, RPM?
I'M SICK OF YOUR CRAP!
...
Just kidding. Too much caffeine, not enough foot action.
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
lol!!!!!!!!!!!!
you're too funny!!
Posted by GloriousFJ (Member # 26779) on :
My Answer is yes and NO.
For a woman i find a 'click' with but she doesnt have nice feet I am what u would say a 'normal; guy.
Same with a girl that has awesome feet, she has no idea what just hit her .
Overall I find that the 2nd type of girl is overwhelmed and open to soo much more 'fun' and 'overall' commitment and happiness Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
quote:Originally posted by pedactor: [/qb]
what kind of chicks are these that u speak of that dont like romantic guys?? perhaps someone needs to send them a bitch-slap-o-gram [/QB][/QUOTE]
i think most chicks like a bad boy
Posted by LeDaemon (Member # 198) on :
My wife used to say "You're as romantic as Al Bundy" years ago. I guess that pretty much says its probably not an issue of being too overly romantic in my household.
Posted by feetluvr (Member # 1570) on :
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: The very nature of foot fetishism puts women on a pedastal.
I'm not sure that I totally agree with your statement, largely because a man can be romantic no matter what body part is his favorite. I do believe however, that some women will see a footman as more romantic because they're interested in, and provide attention to, a body part that many men are not interested in either at all, or to the extent that a footguy is. So as long as the rest of her body is given the attention it deserves, she may see the footguy as a more "complete" lover. The danger of course, is that we give the feet too much attention and neglect her other parts, whic would have just the opposite effect.
Posted by ozboy (Member # 518) on :
No I dont think we are. Our romance is a means to an end; to get her feet.
I think of the traditional folk who love legs and breasts as being more romantic. I think we are too distracted by her lower extremeties.
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Are we all Romeos? Romantic and sensitive to the needs of our women when compared to the average guy?
Not at all, though we'd probably like to think so on a larger scale, cuz it can be easy at first, to believe that we should be more romantic when looking at how beat down we've often been as a group. The romantic adjective, however, will be her judgement, not ours ...and that is the baseline source for my assessment.
Just because our brethren consist mostly of the wimpy, sensitive, wanting-types, that does not equate them to romantics, although that might generally be their intent.
Most of our foot brethren's romantic intent falls short at delivery (in general), but not without the honest effort (I'll giv'em that).
Mighty Mike's "McDonald's-type-of-guy" approach will probably land more foot guys a valid chance to connect with romance through that plain and simple layer of honesty that chics usually spot right off the bat.
Foot guys pretending to be Shakespeare (figuratively speaking) just come off to most intelligent women as some fool who has to pretend thru an alter ego, and that is where the battered fetishist's potential as a true romantic usually gets cut short.
Though less romantic by nature, it is usually the "Mighty-Mike-type" foot fetishists who'll get the chances to be truly romantic if they so choose. More often than not, the rest are left with inner turmoil that they later try to compensate even more for by pretending harder (which of course shoots them in the other foot).
It is a sad state of the foot fetish union compared to the average/"more-romantic" non-foot guys out there
[ March 18, 2008, 02:32 PM: Message edited by: Tyler D. ]
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
I honestly don't think that 90% of girls want a romantic guy and the 10% that do are mostly unattractive girls that need somebody to make them feel special because they've been lonely for most of their life
hot chicks want a guy that makes them feel like a little girl, a guy that makes her feel almost inferior to him
the sterotypical romantic guy writes her sweet poems and buys her flowers, this just makes her think of you as less of a man that is trying too hard, some wimp that would cry if a guy wanted to fight you
i've seen far too many times women say that they want a guy that is romantic, if that's the case why are these same chicks fucking some douchebag that probably forgets her birthday?
i don't think guys need to be douchebags to get chicks (well not all of them ), i just think the whole romantic thing is something Hollywood exaggerates, real women don't need it, nor want it
Posted by tom (Member # 223) on :
i dont think so.
Posted by stopyczek (Member # 9888) on :
I'd say that i just do a lot more fawning and give her more attention when i realize a girl i've met has beautiful feet. i don't know if i'd call it romantic. i like her feet and i want her feet, so i'm trying to ingratiate myself.
generally i'm a pretty shy guy. i wonder how many of you are the same. i remember an editorial by dian hansen on this topic of breast men (gregarious and outgoing) vs. foot men (reserved and thoughtful) personality traits. seemed to make sense to me then, though now i do agree we're all much more complex than that.
i have a submissive streak, too. a girl i confessed this too said she was surprised. she said she assumed someone who is quiet and shy in real life wants to be 'big and in charge' in bed. not so with me.
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
quote:Originally posted by pedactor: hmm funny, i was talking to this chick @ work who was asking me if i think massages are romantic and i said yea and she said aww thats sweet. and work is so stressful can you give me one sometime ?? i was like yea... before i had a chance to hang out w/ her she blew me off to chill w/ some other mook...her loss but at the same time, w/ most chicks i dont get a chance to shine...how does a girl not want romantic things like massages yet want to spend $$300 @ the spa parlor to get them??!!!! thats irritating....so now i think that alot of girls are NOT worthy of getting jack shit from me. sorry, just venting.
And therein lies the problem of communication that men have been befuddled by for so many years.
Logically speaking, outside of the playing field of game, pick-up, social interaction,... whatever you'd like to call it, women will say they want a nice guy who treats them well. However, when it comes to being in the moment and in the "field of play" so to speak, it's not the "nice guys" that women will respond to. The bottom line is that emotions come into play and when that happens, all logical talk gets thrown out the window.
I think Mighty Mike summed it up very well when he said that hot girls want guys who make them feel like little girls. The genetics are already in place for this to happen. The entire human species has survived for thousands of years because there have been men who have demonstrated leadership qualities and a high social value to women. That's one of the ways how men got women to have sex with them to procreate in the first place.
With the progress of civilazation, we like to think we're technically advanced enough and smart enough not to behave in a "less than civilized" manner. This "less than civilized manner" also includes certain "behavioral codes" that have, somehow, worked into the fabric of our society - i.e. being courteous to a girl, taking her out on a date, taking her out to dinner, buying her gifts, etc.. The concept of a "date" is so contrived. Basically, a guy asks a girl out on a date and they go out to dinner, or a movie, etc., but the guy is sending a subtext message to the girl, which is, "Since I don't think you'll like me just for who I am, I'm attempting to bribe you with something (dinner, movie, etc.) so that I will get to spend some time with you one on one." I'm thinking this is not how our ancesters thousands of years past went about trying to get laid or find a life partner to make babies with.
What we fail to understand as a society is that the genetic machine called the human species is thousands of years old and, in spite of our advances and technical acheivements, we, male and female, still respond to certain stimuli that has triggered attraction in each sex and these attraction mechanisms are thousands of years in the making and are now part of our genetic makeup. With males, it's the nice looking female with the shiny hair, the soft and clean skin, the curves of the female body and the .7 hip to waist ratio. Do we, as guys, look at a female and think to ourselves, "Well, it looks like she has the shiny hair with the clean, soft skin.... And, oh yeah, check out the hip to waist ratio. I think that falls within the realm of attrativeness for me."? Of course, the answer is no. The response is automatic and that's due to our genetic makeup. It's an instantaneous, knee jerk response that we don't even think about.
The same thing holds true for women. However, women don't necessarily consider looks to be the first thing that attracts them to a guy. Women look for strong guys, and by "strong" here, I don't mean spending hours upon hours at the gym or in a weight room. They look for guys who are strong in character and who have leadership characteristics. This makes sense when a woman is with a "jerk" who bosses them around all the time. I do agree with Mighty Mike that I don't think a guy has to be a douchebag in that sense to get women. However, guys who are considered "jerks" do have certain characteristics that trigger attraction in women. If we average guys can harness some of those certain characteristics, it's possible to cultivate that and make it a part of who we are.
For those guys may argue that you don't want to stop being a "nice guy" and don't want to change who you are, I'm not saying to change. However, you can take certain things that can trigger attraction in women and make them part of who you are. You're not "changing" anything in that respect. You're just adding something in that you didn't have before and making it a part of who you are. And, when you really get down to it, we all change as people, some less slowly than others. For all intents and purposes, we are all not the same people we were 3 or 5 years ago. We've all taken in different things, have had various experiences and, hopefully, we've learned from all of them and taken what we've learned from them to apply it to our own lives. That in of itself, changes everyone and who they are.
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
quote:Originally posted by stopyczek: generally i'm a pretty shy guy. i wonder how many of you are the same. i remember an editorial by dian hansen on this topic of breast men (gregarious and outgoing) vs. foot men (reserved and thoughtful) personality traits. seemed to make sense to me then, though now i do agree we're all much more complex than that.
i do think breast men are more likely to be outgoing and foot guys are more likely to be reserved
oh and fate excellent post
Posted by longhitter04 (Member # 2391) on :
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: The very nature of foot fetishism puts women on a pedastal.
Sorry.. but I don't see the correlation.
Posted by footgirl0226 (Member # 29201) on :
quote:Originally posted by Mighty Mike: I honestly don't think that 90% of girls want a romantic guy and the 10% that do are mostly unattractive girls that need somebody to make them feel special because they've been lonely for most of their life
hot chicks want a guy that makes them feel like a little girl, a guy that makes her feel almost inferior to him
the sterotypical romantic guy writes her sweet poems and buys her flowers, this just makes her think of you as less of a man that is trying too hard, some wimp that would cry if a guy wanted to fight you
i've seen far too many times women say that they want a guy that is romantic, if that's the case why are these same chicks fucking some douchebag that probably forgets her birthday?
i don't think guys need to be douchebags to get chicks (well not all of them ), i just think the whole romantic thing is something Hollywood exaggerates, real women don't need it, nor want it
HAHA! I have been accused of being a girl who must be a guy because I hate romance, I dont want to cuddle after a good time, and I just want to sleep! No talking, no cuddling...
With that said- I require attention and lots of it, but not the romantic kind. Crap, just talk and laugh and enjoy eachother. I know if someone is into me by that. Romance does nothing for me - no matter if you like feet or not.
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
footgirl... i hear ya.. mainly because my wife is a little like that. romance is nice, but not necessary. however.. to her.. the talk..laugh..enjoyment...fun... that is romance for her (and many folks i've met). and she doesn't need all that cuddling... just good sleep.
Fate... great set of points!!!
i don't agree that breastmen have a significant advantage.... in terms of being outgoing. i just think that most folks are a bit more cautious when what they like isn't perceived to be mainstream. (i like women in hihgheels.. amoungst other things outside not foot related... and i'm 'cautious' about that.. but super outgoing!!)
confidence is the key! good old healthy confidence
RPM
Posted by perfectpeds (Member # 29295) on :
I found this all very interesting.
I, for one, love romance - but maybe not in the way most people think of it. I don't NEED expensive gifts, or elaborate dinner dates, or a dozen roses. However, what makes romance is when your guy glances at your from across a crowded room and you can feel the heat; or a dandelion is picked from the grass of the front lawn and gently rubbed along the soles of your feet (FYI before I was introduced to this - which was recent) I probably would've said rubbed along the side of the neck..LOL
As for a cuddle - love it! But when I'm ready for sleep, it's a kiss on the lips and a goodnight while I roll to my side of the bed and sleep in my own space.
Do women like "strong" men - of course. Even if we're independent and capable of doing it all, we love that a guy WANTS to help us. We want to feel protected because it gives us a break from the daily grind where we have to be all things to everyone.
As for those foot massages -- I feel sorry for women who don't like their feet touched -- but it's different when your guy is giving you the massage than when the pedicurist is giving you the massage -- trust me! I know! or knew... And if your guy wants to do a little toe sucking, all the better. That's sexy and that's romantic!
Perhaps I ramble... but I think when it comes down to it -- it's all good. And anything in moderation usually works.
It's all open to interpration and personal preference.
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: The very nature of foot fetishism puts women on a pedastal.
I dunno. My view of feet doesn't change my view of women.
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
quote:Originally posted by Fate111:
quote:Originally posted by pedactor: hmm funny, i was talking to this chick @ work who was asking me if i think massages are romantic and i said yea and she said aww thats sweet. and work is so stressful can you give me one sometime ?? i was like yea... before i had a chance to hang out w/ her she blew me off to chill w/ some other mook...her loss but at the same time, w/ most chicks i dont get a chance to shine...how does a girl not want romantic things like massages yet want to spend $$300 @ the spa parlor to get them??!!!! thats irritating....so now i think that alot of girls are NOT worthy of getting jack shit from me. sorry, just venting.
And therein lies the problem of communication that men have been befuddled by for so many years.
Logically speaking, outside of the playing field of game, pick-up, social interaction,... whatever you'd like to call it, women will say they want a nice guy who treats them well. However, when it comes to being in the moment and in the "field of play" so to speak, it's not the "nice guys" that women will respond to. The bottom line is that emotions come into play and when that happens, all logical talk gets thrown out the window.
I think Mighty Mike summed it up very well when he said that hot girls want guys who make them feel like little girls. The genetics are already in place for this to happen. The entire human species has survived for thousands of years because there have been men who have demonstrated leadership qualities and a high social value to women. That's one of the ways how men got women to have sex with them to procreate in the first place.
With the progress of civilazation, we like to think we're technically advanced enough and smart enough not to behave in a "less than civilized" manner. This "less than civilized manner" also includes certain "behavioral codes" that have, somehow, worked into the fabric of our society - i.e. being courteous to a girl, taking her out on a date, taking her out to dinner, buying her gifts, etc.. The concept of a "date" is so contrived. Basically, a guy asks a girl out on a date and they go out to dinner, or a movie, etc., but the guy is sending a subtext message to the girl, which is, "Since I don't think you'll like me just for who I am, I'm attempting to bribe you with something (dinner, movie, etc.) so that I will get to spend some time with you one on one." I'm thinking this is not how our ancesters thousands of years past went about trying to get laid or find a life partner to make babies with.
What we fail to understand as a society is that the genetic machine called the human species is thousands of years old and, in spite of our advances and technical acheivements, we, male and female, still respond to certain stimuli that has triggered attraction in each sex and these attraction mechanisms are thousands of years in the making and are now part of our genetic makeup. With males, it's the nice looking female with the shiny hair, the soft and clean skin, the curves of the female body and the .7 hip to waist ratio. Do we, as guys, look at a female and think to ourselves, "Well, it looks like she has the shiny hair with the clean, soft skin.... And, oh yeah, check out the hip to waist ratio. I think that falls within the realm of attrativeness for me."? Of course, the answer is no. The response is automatic and that's due to our genetic makeup. It's an instantaneous, knee jerk response that we don't even think about.
The same thing holds true for women. However, women don't necessarily consider looks to be the first thing that attracts them to a guy. Women look for strong guys, and by "strong" here, I don't mean spending hours upon hours at the gym or in a weight room. They look for guys who are strong in character and who have leadership characteristics. This makes sense when a woman is with a "jerk" who bosses them around all the time. I do agree with Mighty Mike that I don't think a guy has to be a douchebag in that sense to get women. However, guys who are considered "jerks" do have certain characteristics that trigger attraction in women. If we average guys can harness some of those certain characteristics, it's possible to cultivate that and make it a part of who we are.
For those guys may argue that you don't want to stop being a "nice guy" and don't want to change who you are, I'm not saying to change. However, you can take certain things that can trigger attraction in women and make them part of who you are. You're not "changing" anything in that respect. You're just adding something in that you didn't have before and making it a part of who you are. And, when you really get down to it, we all change as people, some less slowly than others. For all intents and purposes, we are all not the same people we were 3 or 5 years ago. We've all taken in different things, have had various experiences and, hopefully, we've learned from all of them and taken what we've learned from them to apply it to our own lives. That in of itself, changes everyone and who they are.
This all makes sense. At the same time I wonder. Does this mean that attractive women have it easy?
I mean, the way YOU'VE worked for women's attention. Do they put as much work in as guys like you? Or do they just stand around looking pretty?
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
yes they have it easy and yes they just stand around looking pretty
a super hot chick can only have a bad life if she is a complete moron ie choosing some criminal for a partner
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
I myself love romance. Probobly alot more than most of the women I "date". Actually I know so. But romance isn't expensive dinners and candy. It's all about the connection with the other person and the stimulation of the senses. Being an intelligent lover means knowing what your woman would be into and delivering it, inviting her along for the ride. Building trust is huge because it allows you to take full control of the evening with her resisting very little.
When I posed the question about foot fetishist being more romantic it was under the premise that we love women more than most. Look at this board and it'll be hard to find one negative comment about women. Some women adore women so much that they even steal thier shoes to keep them company.lol. So with that, one could assume that we as a whole would be more attentive to the needs of our women.
As for the nice guy/ bad guy compare and contrast, I hate both labels. I prefer to be called the "cool guy". I'm cool to people that are cool to me. I'm unphased by beauty so one needs more than that to impress me. I treat my guy and girl friends the same unless she gives me a special reason not too. Some women like bad boys. That's cool..but i'm too busy for that. Some women like guys they can walk all over....i'm too cool for that. Women will cheat on their bad boy boyfriends with guys like me because I know what they need. Same thing with the girlfriends of the nice guys. They're oblivious to what their women need, but instead cater what their woman wants. The biggest thing is that the cool guy has self confidence. Thats the killer.
GQguy
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Some men adore women so much that they even steal thier shoes to keep them company.lol.
I'd group that type of action with "obsessive lust" as opposed to "romance", in a similar vein of thought when some groupies take a militant stance against hearing anything wrong about women.
There's better adjectives out there for persistent and excessive adoration (or even over-sensitivity). Not all of them are as kind as the term "romance" though, nor hold up as well when explaining to the court judge.
Romance is probably the most desired euphamism for many foot fetish "romantics", but it also falls short of believable when justifying many of their actions we hear about.
[ March 21, 2008, 06:43 PM: Message edited by: Tyler D. ]
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
quote:Originally posted by DeadGoon: This all makes sense. At the same time I wonder. Does this mean that attractive women have it easy?
I mean, the way YOU'VE worked for women's attention. Do they put as much work in as guys like you? Or do they just stand around looking pretty?
Attractive women have it "easy" in the respect that they don't have to work when they are out in public to get the attention of men. However, let's face it, it usually takes a woman quite awhile to get ready to go out with the styling of the hair, the putting on of makeup, the selection of clothes, etc.. All her "working" to get men's attention happens before she even leaves her home.
The downside is that attractive women do get approached, hit on, etc., by a ton of guys day in and day out. We, as guys, don't realize that because it so rarely happens to us. If that began happening to us and women who were total strangers began complimenting us, buying us drinks when we were out, asking for our phone number, etc., we would think it's really cool at first and enjoy the attention. However, after awhile, I think most of us would get sick of it because it would become so commonplace. That's how it can be for an attractive woman. Before long, she begins to put on filters when it comes to the compliments and praises about her beauty because she can't possibly waste time dating or seeing every single guy who may be interested and/or attracted to her. That's the reason why complimenting a woman rarely works all that often when a guy is trying to get her phone number and progress farther than trivial conversation. It's just another comment from a total stranger that she has heard before God knows how many times. Because she has heard it so many times from so many men she doesn't know, it doesn't come off as sincere and it's just another trivial compliment to add to the list of compliments she has heard that day, that week, that month, that year. I'm sure this is very frsutrating to attractive women everywhere. Guys typically approach them the same way. In that sense, it really isn't "easy" for attractive women.
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: As for the nice guy/ bad guy compare and contrast, I hate both labels. I prefer to be called the "cool guy". I'm cool to people that are cool to me. I'm unphased by beauty so one needs more than that to impress me. I treat my guy and girl friends the same unless she gives me a special reason not too. Some women like bad boys. That's cool..but i'm too busy for that. Some women like guys they can walk all over....i'm too cool for that. Women will cheat on their bad boy boyfriends with guys like me because I know what they need. Same thing with the girlfriends of the nice guys. They're oblivious to what their women need, but instead cater what their woman wants. The biggest thing is that the cool guy has self confidence. Thats the killer.
To me, this is very poignant. It really is better to be the "cool guy" and treat both male and female friends the same. And, yeah, there's a big difference between what women want and what they need. If they're not getting what they need, they will look elsewhere to fulfill their needs, even if they're getting everything they want.
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
quote:Originally posted by Fate111: I'm sure this is very frsutrating to attractive women everywhere. Guys typically approach them the same way. In that sense, it really isn't "easy" for attractive women.
Yeah I have thought of that. I still feel like women sort of have the upper hand. I could be wrong. This is partly why I haven't bothered developing any 'pick-up' skills.
Even if I DO become good at it, it's STILL the situation where the guy is working for the females' attention while she isn't lifting a finger.
I can't help of think of that wonderful guy who used to post here, Georgy Porgy, who claimed to be a jerk because it got women. Fair enough, I guess what it says to me though is that he really ISN'T a jerk but is only acting like one to get girls.
Well bravo Mr Toto Song Title, you've sacrificed you're own personality for someone who's not you, while these girls are getting something for nothing.
[ March 21, 2008, 09:07 PM: Message edited by: DeadGoon ]
Posted by perfectpeds (Member # 29295) on :
quote:Originally posted by Fate111:
quote:Originally posted by DeadGoon: This all makes sense. At the same time I wonder. Does this mean that attractive women have it easy?
I mean, the way YOU'VE worked for women's attention. Do they put as much work in as guys like you? Or do they just stand around looking pretty?
Attractive women have it "easy" in the respect that they don't have to work when they are out in public to get the attention of men. However, let's face it, it usually takes a woman quite awhile to get ready to go out with the styling of the hair, the putting on of makeup, the selection of clothes, etc.. All her "working" to get men's attention happens before she even leaves her home.
The downside is that attractive women do get approached, hit on, etc., by a ton of guys day in and day out. We, as guys, don't realize that because it so rarely happens to us. If that began happening to us and women who were total strangers began complimenting us, buying us drinks when we were out, asking for our phone number, etc., we would think it's really cool at first and enjoy the attention. However, after awhile, I think most of us would get sick of it because it would become so commonplace. That's how it can be for an attractive woman. Before long, she begins to put on filters when it comes to the compliments and praises about her beauty because she can't possibly waste time dating or seeing every single guy who may be interested and/or attracted to her. That's the reason why complimenting a woman rarely works all that often when a guy is trying to get her phone number and progress farther than trivial conversation. It's just another comment from a total stranger that she has heard before God knows how many times. Because she has heard it so many times from so many men she doesn't know, it doesn't come off as sincere and it's just another trivial compliment to add to the list of compliments she has heard that day, that week, that month, that year. I'm sure this is very frsutrating to attractive women everywhere. Guys typically approach them the same way. In that sense, it really isn't "easy" for attractive women.
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: As for the nice guy/ bad guy compare and contrast, I hate both labels. I prefer to be called the "cool guy". I'm cool to people that are cool to me. I'm unphased by beauty so one needs more than that to impress me. I treat my guy and girl friends the same unless she gives me a special reason not too. Some women like bad boys. That's cool..but i'm too busy for that. Some women like guys they can walk all over....i'm too cool for that. Women will cheat on their bad boy boyfriends with guys like me because I know what they need. Same thing with the girlfriends of the nice guys. They're oblivious to what their women need, but instead cater what their woman wants. The biggest thing is that the cool guy has self confidence. Thats the killer.
To me, this is very poignant. It really is better to be the "cool guy" and treat both male and female friends the same. And, yeah, there's a big difference between what women want and what they need. If they're not getting what they need, they will look elsewhere to fulfill their needs, even if they're getting everything they want.
While I agree that beautiful women who have it all may see compliments as trivial, there are many of us who are simply your average every day girl who only takes 30-45 minutes to do it all - from shower to blow dry to makeup to walking ut the door -- because we simply are who we are. And if you think women don't work at being noticed - you are wrong. We try very hard to get a guys attention and work even harder to keep it. However, it's been my experience that men get bored easily, sometimes even before you get a chance to get started. So trust me when I say it's not that easy for women -- and how did we get onto women having it easy when the original question was "Are foot guys more romantic than non foot guys"? LOL
As for an answer to that question - I think they are "perceived" as more romantic because they not only pay attention to the whole woman but they are enthralled with a part that most women take for granted and never realize how sexy their feet really are. Take it from one who was just recently taught this. So may they aren't actually more romantic - but I think they are!
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
You'll get no argument from me, perfectpeds. I never did say that women had it easy. I was just pointing out that their routine of getting ready to go out is where they put in their efforts in order to gain the attention of men and, in some cases, even women. Let's face it, beauty in today's world can readily be found so women have to compete with other women as far as looks go, not to mention trying to get the attention of men.
You also make a good point of foot guys being enthralled with a part of a woman's body that women typically don't look at as sexual or pay much attention to overall. As such, foot guys can be perceived to be quite different and more romantic than the average guy who just looks at a woman's boobs or butt.
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
quote:Originally posted by perfectpeds: And if you think women don't work at being noticed - you are wrong. So trust me when I say it's not that easy for women
No worries Always good to get things clarified Posted by perfectpeds (Member # 29295) on :
Something else to think about -- a woman might be able to grab a guys attention at first -- but the real work comes in holding onto his attention day after day, week after week, and so on... because let's face it guys... you get bored looking at the same thing day in an day out -- and doing the same things...
Men are also more visual and action oriented. A woman (in love) has but to look at her guy and she can get all warm and fuzzy and excited because she lets her emotions rule .... a guy needs soft lips, a nice firm body with curves in the right places,and sensous soles with delectable toes! (at least in this forum). That's a lot of work for a woman to keep up with -- and to keep it coming in different ways to keep her guy hot and wanting her only.
I'll be a happy woman if I can find a guy who wants to be with just me and enjoy all of my bounties.. not just my feet!
And that day will come - I'm forever optimistic!
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
look good and please a guy EXACTLY the way he likes to be pleased in bed and you'll have his attention for as long as you want it
these are the only qualities needed for many guys (not me ) to marry a chick
guys on the other hand have to look good, have certain personality traits, have a certain job and amount of money etc
it would be naive to think that women have it harder than guys, a good looking woman will NEVER be lonely
a good looking guy can be lonely if he lacks confidence or the other things i mentioned
you will NEVER find a lonely good looking woman, she may not be meeting her dream guy but you can guarantee she is at least dating or has fuck buddies
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
quote:Originally posted by Mighty Mike: you will NEVER find a lonely good looking woman, she may not be meeting her dream guy but you can guarantee she is at least dating or has fuck buddies
Possibly. But I have known about a chick who pretty much was doing that, but was VERY depressed she hadn't found the right guy. Then when she found out her ex got a girlfriend she FLIPPED!
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
perfectpeds.. you raise some seriously nice points! thanks! helps me understand my wife's point of view a little better.
THis thread is getting interetsing. QG.. i hear ya.. i rather be the cool guy myself. and i do focus more on customizing what i do to what my woman needs as well as what she wants.
to me.. that is the whole point of romance.. and part of that learing came from the fact.. i like feet.. most gals dont' care about their feet. how do you put that aside.. focuse on her.. and in time.. introduce her to what you like.. it's a skill i think most feet guys (mature ones anyway) have learned and thus can be perceived as more romantic. we look at the big pictue starting from one end to the next.
both genders have it hard. mainly because they're both coming from different worlds to make a relationship work.
as for holding my attention.. yeah.. i can get bored easily.. and usually when your efforts aren't sincere or just half baked!!! but if it's honest and sincere.. i don't get bored.. because it's coming from your heart! i can work with that.. halfbaked.. turns me off fast!
RPM
p.s. longwinded by me again :)lol
Posted by Keyfeet (Member # 27313) on :
I don't think so. Just like the guys who want tna all the time, we want feet all the time.
Posted by perfectpeds (Member # 29295) on :
Fate111 - I am enjoying the chat because it gives me an overall male point of view while I give a woman's perspective. I don't think of myself as beautiful - just your average girl next door (but add a few years..LOL) And yet I in no way considered ugly - but I don't get approached often. I've been told by some "I'm too nice" and by others "I'm intimidating". But not because of my physical beauty, because of my confident outgoing personality.
My outlook changed about dating and meeting men when I did 8-minute dating a few years ago. All of a sudden I realized that saying hello or making eye contact didn't commit me to that guy. But, offered me a chance to meet someone new who might be funny, interesting, or if I was really lucky - maybe the man of my dreams.
Relaxed, open and direct communication is key no matter who you are talking to or what the subject is. I think if we are soft in our approach -- and SINCERE (as RPM so eloquently put it) then any subject can be discussed and explored.
Mighty Mike, I think you are being too hard on women. Even if you think we (if we're beautiful enough) could have any guy and would have friends with benefits when not in a relationship - I think any woman with good self-esteem and confidence would rather take care of herself and wait for the right guy rather than subject herself to meaningless flings. Women want to feel "special" with a guy. At least that's my point of view because that's how I feel.
RPM you hit the nail on the head - sincerity goes a long way - and honesty. Be truthful. Even if it hurts, I've found honesty is best because it gives the other person and yourself the respect that every man and woman deserves. No matter what. Then even if the truth hurts, both parties walk away with their respect and when the hurt is gone...you'll find you still like that person and only good memories remain - because they didn't "dis" you.
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus -- yet we will never want to live without each other.
And I for one, am still coming to terms with the sexuality of my feet and I'm not sure I would want to go through the rest of my life without having them appreciated and adored.
LOL RPM - I've got you beat for the long winded contest.
It's good to get the male side of things. I'm glad this forum is here and that the members of Wu's site are willing able communicators. Perhaps I will become a better partner when I meet "the one"
Happy Easter everyone -- wow it's late! Gotta go post my Easter pics....LOL
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
quote:Originally posted by perfectpeds:
Mighty Mike, I think you are being too hard on women. Even if you think we (if we're beautiful enough) could have any guy and would have friends with benefits when not in a relationship - I think any woman with good self-esteem and confidence would rather take care of herself and wait for the right guy rather than subject herself to meaningless flings. Women want to feel "special" with a guy. At least that's my point of view because that's how I feel.
this basically proves my point that pretty girls have it easier than guys
some women, like you, don't have fuck buddies only because you don't want one, not because you CAN'T have one
every single guy here on a jerk off forum would want a fuck buddy but not all of them are capable of getting one because they have low self confidence or low social status
if a guy is jerking off to foot pics or videos like all of us here are, we are going strictly by looks
we aren't looking at pics while jerking it thinking "she would make me feel special", we just want physical contact with a good looking female and we don't care about how she would make us feel mentally or what she does for a living Posted by A&F_FootDude_05 (Member # 2999) on :
Building on Mighty MIke's words, how often do you see a homeless women...I've seen a myriad of homeless people in my time and everytime a beareded male
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
homeless women are never good looking
oh and how about the FEMALE teacher who wasn't sent to prison for having sex with her student because...
she was too good looking for prison Posted by ozboy (Member # 518) on :
Fate,
Thanks for sharing your insights with us again. I enjoy reading your posts, question though :
quote: The concept of a "date" is so contrived. Basically, a guy asks a girl out on a date and they go out to dinner, or a movie, etc., but the guy is sending a subtext message to the girl, which is, "Since I don't think you'll like me just for who I am, I'm attempting to bribe you with something (dinner, movie, etc.) so that I will get to spend some time with you one on one."
How else are we to get the girl into bed? If I email her and say "hey babe, I like you and think you are hot lets have some fun together" she most likely will NOT respond and think I'm desperate and dateless !!
Women need to feel emotionally attached in order to have physical contact. The only way of achieving this is through gradually building a relationship through dates, movies, dinners etc.
Fate, are you proposing an alternative? How else are we to get the girl?
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
in my line of work, i've seen more homeless folks from more walks of life than most. some homeless gals are drop-dead gorgeous.. just homeless (for whatever reason).
not all guys here come to jerk off either.. though i'm sure the percentage is high. i'm not one of those.
i'm sure if i applied myself.. i can get any woman I want.. because i'm confident in myself.
and in addition, i don't have issues building relationships..
one more point... some of the prettiest women i've met feel lonely because more guys are intimidated and won't step up to them. some have asked me for pointers on how to get them to get guys to notice them as people instead of items to be stared at from across the room or street.
some of my most attractive friends have given up on guys at some point because only jerks will 'hit' on them and the good guys stay away with the assumption they must have too many guys at their beck-and-call.
Dating.. relationships.. it's called courtship for a reason.. it's an art forum full of 'test' and periles.
only the confident, sincere, and mature know how to navigate and get what they want without 'abusing' and infringing on the rights of others.
i am enjoying this thread however!!! it says a lot. and open conversation is great.
generally speaking.. men are more goal and action oriented. and women are relational.
one person said it like this... guys need great sex to eventually build a relationship..and women need a relationship to have great sex.
i don't buy that, but it illustrates a lot!
so.. how does all of this relate to the topic? i think it takes great confidence to embrace your love of feet (shoes, heels, anything below the ankles). and with that, comes the appearance of greater romance.. confidence for a woman is sexy and romantic. so the details of action doesn't cut it, but the premise does. it's not always what you do, but how you do it that makes a bigger deal!
RPM
p.s guys can relate as well as women.. but most need to learn that skill.. just like women can learn to be more goal and task driven. it's all a negotiation. (and i'm not picking on anybody either)
Posted by perfectpeds (Member # 29295) on :
RPM - what do you do for work? Because you are insightful and very well spoken (or written) - you definitely show an insight into how women think and what they need.
And you're right that women need a relationship or at least an feeling that there is a mutual emotional bond between them and the guy they are about to get down with. As for task and action oriented. There are a lot of women (myself included) who fall into that category. Those of us who speak directly without making a guy guess what's on our mind; who don't expect a guy to figure us out without our help; who are willing partners who will give as good as they get - if not better!
It has been my experience that while I would not consider myself beautiful but I am attractive. Combine that with a very confident and outgoing personality and I have been watched all night by some guys when I go dancing but they never ever approach. And yet - I see myself as one of the easiest people around to talk to and I am the last to judge anyone.
I think whether we admit it or not, every man and woman wants to be loved for themselves, imperfections and all (or perhaps I am just forever the optimistic romantic who simply wishes it were so)
Great post and I like your style. Your wife is a lucky lady!
And I am thankful to all who are contributing here as it surely gives us all new things to think about.
Posted by Elvzz (Member # 14178) on :
RPM pretty deep! And perfectpeds nice comments.
I have played both - I look hard, but have a soft side - when I let a woman in and get burned I am usually mad at myself. Because I let them in. Once we realize that we can trust ourselves that no matter what we will be ok - it may hurt for awhile if they move on, but we will be all right. I find freedom in that, maybe someone else will relate and swing for the fence, too.
Women crave the creative/spiritual type if they are ready for it. Some don't feel good about themselves (look at religion-the premise is we are not good enuf) and/or look for men that repeat issues from their childhood. [it's comfortable to repeat the issues of the past] If you can break someone's homeostasis - it would be like chosing a flavor of ice cream that doesn't exist.
I do feel, in this vein, "the way to a woman's heart his thru her ears and a man's his eyes."
The balance lies in Chemistry, Communication, Commitment and Compassion - those are my 4 Cs.
[ March 24, 2008, 10:08 PM: Message edited by: Elvzz ]
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
^ Badass advice and wisdom! GQguy
Posted by perfectpeds (Member # 29295) on :
Well GQGuy, looks like you picked a topic worth talking about! Thanks for starting it - I know it's given me a little more insight as to how different guys think and even how they perceive women in general.
My conclusion thus far...I'll leave an opening because it's a woman's perogative to change her mind..LOL -- anyway --
My conclusion thus far in answer to the original question...."Topic: Are foot guys more romantic than non foot guys" --- YES (in my humble opinion) YES YES YES (but I'm still a one man woman and always will be). I just have to find him.! Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
quote:Originally posted by ozboy: Fate,
Thanks for sharing your insights with us again. I enjoy reading your posts, question though :
quote: The concept of a "date" is so contrived. Basically, a guy asks a girl out on a date and they go out to dinner, or a movie, etc., but the guy is sending a subtext message to the girl, which is, "Since I don't think you'll like me just for who I am, I'm attempting to bribe you with something (dinner, movie, etc.) so that I will get to spend some time with you one on one."
How else are we to get the girl into bed? If I email her and say "hey babe, I like you and think you are hot lets have some fun together" she most likely will NOT respond and think I'm desperate and dateless !!
Women need to feel emotionally attached in order to have physical contact. The only way of achieving this is through gradually building a relationship through dates, movies, dinners etc.
Fate, are you proposing an alternative? How else are we to get the girl?
You raise a good question. Believe it or not, there are alternatives.
The way of building trust between two people is by having them spend time together getting to know each other. The way that most guys think they need to go about doing this with women is via the whole dinner & movie thing, which has somehow been deemed the usual way of doing this by most of society.
From what I've seen and from some experience, the term "date" brings up red flags and it sets off all of these ideas of certain expectations. A "date" makes it sound like two people are already going out. Whereas, if you just say to a woman upon meeting her and talking to her for a short time, "Hey, let's meet for some coffee or tea for an hour and continue our conversation at some point", it doesn't set off any alarms. Why? Because, firstly, you'll be meeting in a public place so a woman will probably feel much safer than, let's say, if you asked to go to her house. Also, if things are a little slow in conversation or it turns out that you don't find her as interesting or attractive as you thought she would be, you have the option of calling the meeting off earlier than planned. With a "date", such as a dinner and/or movie, you and the woman you're with are, pretty much, there for the duration and, more often than not, you'll both stick it out, regardless of the fact that there may be no "connection" between the two of you. Also, using this approach doesn't sound like you're needy or desperate either because you're not asking for a "date" really. It's like you're asking a friend to get together and hang out for a short time so the two of you can talk. Investing one hour or 30-45 minutes with someone you don't know all that well isn't really all that much compared to, say, 3-4 hours with a dinner and a movie. It's viewed as much less pressure and low on the expectations scale. Also, with the "coffee/tea and conversation" approach, there are no distractions like the waiter coming to your table at a restaurant or the movie screen in the theater. It's just the two of you one on one and you have no choice but to talk and try and get to know each other.
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
quote:Originally posted by RPM: in my line of work, i've seen more homeless folks from more walks of life than most. some homeless gals are drop-dead gorgeous.. just homeless (for whatever reason).
not all guys here come to jerk off either.. though i'm sure the percentage is high. i'm not one of those.
i'm sure if i applied myself.. i can get any woman I want.. because i'm confident in myself.
and in addition, i don't have issues building relationships..
one more point... some of the prettiest women i've met feel lonely because more guys are intimidated and won't step up to them. some have asked me for pointers on how to get them to get guys to notice them as people instead of items to be stared at from across the room or street.
some of my most attractive friends have given up on guys at some point because only jerks will 'hit' on them and the good guys stay away with the assumption they must have too many guys at their beck-and-call.
Dating.. relationships.. it's called courtship for a reason.. it's an art forum full of 'test' and periles.
only the confident, sincere, and mature know how to navigate and get what they want without 'abusing' and infringing on the rights of others.
i am enjoying this thread however!!! it says a lot. and open conversation is great.
generally speaking.. men are more goal and action oriented. and women are relational.
one person said it like this... guys need great sex to eventually build a relationship..and women need a relationship to have great sex.
i don't buy that, but it illustrates a lot!
so.. how does all of this relate to the topic? i think it takes great confidence to embrace your love of feet (shoes, heels, anything below the ankles). and with that, comes the appearance of greater romance.. confidence for a woman is sexy and romantic. so the details of action doesn't cut it, but the premise does. it's not always what you do, but how you do it that makes a bigger deal!
RPM
p.s guys can relate as well as women.. but most need to learn that skill.. just like women can learn to be more goal and task driven. it's all a negotiation. (and i'm not picking on anybody either)
I think there's some really good stuff here that RPM said. He's so right in saying that guys can relate to women but most need to learn the skill. He's also right when he says that guys should stop assuming that every drop-dead gorgeous woman either already has a boyfriend or is married and/or spoken for. This is one area where guys defeat themselves with their own negative thinking even before anything can happen.
Like he said, confidence is a real difference maker. If you're comfortable with who you are and what you're doing, that is an attraction mechanism when it comes to women.
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
quote:Originally posted by RPM: some homeless gals are drop-dead gorgeous.. just homeless (for whatever reason).
this is so very true, very much like a buried treasure chest when you find that gold Posted by perfectpeds (Member # 29295) on :
ozboy, you asked "how else are we to get a girl into bed".. if that's all you're looking for then there are plenty of women out there who are easy targets and it doesn't take dinner,drinks and a movie. But if you're looking for quality and class to go along with it, then maybe look at the whole picture instead of just trying to get her into bed. You might find you enjoy some of her other attributes.
Fate111, I think you have good insight into women as does RPM. I would agree with the "don't make it a DATE" but a meeting to explore and get to know each other more - especially where there is no fear of having to try and get out of it -- coffee will only last so long. It gives you the out or you can choose to linger. And even then - if you make it to a date. a movie should come after you've had several get togethers. It's hard to get to know someone during a movie. If a guy asked me to a movie too early - I'd think "how am I going to find out about this guy if we can't talk. It can be awkward.
Depending on the girl/woman's age, depends on whether the word "date" might scare her. Confidence in a man is a definite turn on but I think a smart guy also looks for confidence in the woman. It can turn an average looking person into a dynamo whether you're male or female. Gorgeous feet on a woman and a gorgeous body will only last so long without personality, brains and a sense of adventure.
As a woman when I was younger and hitting the club scene almost every night... if a guy offered to buy you a drink - he usually felt he had something coming to him. NOT all men mind you but a lot of them. So I NEVER accepted a drink from a stranger. Also, a lot of my friends would never dance with SOME guys.... but not me....even if he was wearing a striped shirt, plaid pants and coke bottle glasses -- I always said yes if approached -- my reason? I put myself in that person's shoes -- If I was a guy asking some girl to dance (not marry me, not go to bed, etc. -- just a dance) how would I feel if she said NO. Probably I feel like crap... SO I always said yes and maybe it was only for one song - but I never let anyone walk away feeling rejected by me. And I've practiced that throughout my life.
As I am now older and wiser, I have learned that there is no rule keeping me from speaking to anyone, male or female, age 8 to 80, good looking, smart, rich, poor -- if you take to mind that people are just that "people" with the same fears, insecurities and desires/hopes as maybe yours...saying hello and having a conversation (without expectations) can open many doors and allows a person to learn so much from these new people.
While it may not have found me my soulmate yet, I have had wonderful relationships (most of them long term - just not as long I'd like - which is forever...LOL) and with each one I grow and learn more about life, people and myself. There is always something positive to be found.
OK OK - I know - I ramble so badly... I wish there was away for someone to stop me. Ha ha
Bottom line, be open in your mind and in your heart and you will be amazed at what's waiting out there.
OK I'm done -- really.... (for now at least)
Posted by Elvzz (Member # 14178) on :
Perfectpeds- yea, confidence trumps all and I have met many a confident woman - who can fill up the lens - but when I hear the X stories or how they have broken up with their estranged more than once - it is almost out the window.
Why would you break up with someone if you loved them even 1%? - if you own more then 5% of a publicly traded company you have to register with the SEC, as an example. And then if you are done - cut it!
Speaking for myself - I love to look a woman strait in the eye like Maverick in TG. And she invited him to her house to talk about a plane - BS - I'd have called her on that - that is what the obligatory coffee is for. When I meet someone for the first time, I need something stronger than coffee.
And for all you nice guys out there - jerky guys are women's equivalent to Elliot Spitzer syle - there is no future, there is no meeting Mom, but there is something dangerous/intriguing there. For the R & F it just costs them their careers for others - just some scars.
[ March 27, 2008, 01:57 AM: Message edited by: Elvzz ]
Posted by perfectpeds (Member # 29295) on :
Elvzz, walking away from someone you love is never easy. Most women who have a lot of "breakup" stories perhaps leave out of fear of being left themselves. Not everyone can self-analyze and change their behaviors. The human psyche works different for each of us and we don't always know what inner scars someone might be carrying - especially if they ooze confidence. It takes time and a desire to really want to know who the person is.
As for me, most of my "breakups" has been the guy not wanting to stick it out with me (and only me). Yes, I will walk if he wants to be withmultiple women. I am not a buffet tupe of girl but prefer fine dining in the same place every night. That's not to say I don't appreciate other menus, but I'm loyal to my favorite dish and have no problem having it every morning, noon and night of every day. The only other time I broke up with someone it ws after 5 years of trying to appease his jealousy. I didn't walk away easily - I stayed for 5 years - but when it gets to the point where you can't even look up from your plate in a restaurant (unless its to look only at him and nothing else) - it's time to leave -- even if you love that person. If you couldn't change them in 5 years - you're not going to.
So - walking away sometimes means survival and when you love someone - it's the hardest thing you'll ever do.
It still takes 2 to make love work. No one can do it alone.
I personally love it when a guy looks me directly in the eye. It can actually be very exciting and intimate at the same time.
Posted by Elvzz (Member # 14178) on :
Fear - yes, it is prevalent. U should watch Donnie Darko if you haven't. The movie is brilliant with a lot of subtext.
Consider we are placed here to have loving relationships and to battle our fears. Pretty simple life, yet not. The only way to address the fear is do the exact thing of that which you are afraid. Get on the plane or jump out tandem or solo.
5 years is a long time - perhaps you changed your feelings about jealousy in order to stay that long, cuz that is all you can control - how you deal, not them. The loneliest I have ever been was when I was sitting on the couch with an estranged lover.
I see a lot of beauty in women, but a lot of women don't see that...Can't do a dream killer. Yet, they are drawn to me out of competition and I can see that strait away.
To that end, over time people reveal themselves.
[ March 27, 2008, 11:59 AM: Message edited by: Elvzz ]
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
quote:Originally posted by perfectpeds: ozboy, you asked "how else are we to get a girl into bed".. if that's all you're looking for then there are plenty of women out there who are easy targets and it doesn't take dinner,drinks and a movie. But if you're looking for quality and class to go along with it, then maybe look at the whole picture instead of just trying to get her into bed. You might find you enjoy some of her other attributes.
Perfectpeds makes a great point here about something that is overlooked quite a bit, and that is intent. If your goal for right now is to "get a girl into bed", it's neither right nor wrong. However, you might find that that, although you may be able to get a girl, or girls, into bed, they're not really the quality women you might want in a long term relationship. With intent, you might be scaring off quality women who may be looking for more than just going to bed with a guy. Women are very good at picking up things that men don't say verbally. If you're coming off as someone who's looking for a one night stand or something short term, then you'll only draw in women who are looking for a short term/one night stand thing. Again, if that's what you're looking for, then great. Ultimately though, I think most guys would like to find someone who fulfills them on many, if not all, levels in their lives. While the whole sleeping around thing may be great at first, it can only go so far when trying to build a more substantial relationship with a woman.
quote:Originally posted by perfectpeds: Depending on the girl/woman's age, depends on whether the word "date" might scare her. Confidence in a man is a definite turn on but I think a smart guy also looks for confidence in the woman. It can turn an average looking person into a dynamo whether you're male or female. Gorgeous feet on a woman and a gorgeous body will only last so long without personality, brains and a sense of adventure.
I agree that using the term "date" can be very intimidating to a woman. It does put on pressure that something else is "expected" if she agrees to a "date".
Perfectpeds touches on a very good point about how guys should also look for confidence in women. Most guys are so blown away by women's looks that they initially never look past that to see if there are any other quality attributes there - i.e. intelligence, personality, sense of humor, a person with a good energy, good demeanor and a sense of adventure, etc.. Guys need to look past the looks and get more critical about these other points and become more of the selector, rather than the selectee. Looking for these other qualities in women can completely change a guy's paradigm and make him more selective. Being more selective, and letting women know that in various ways, makes your social value go up. Immediately, you become much more than the "typical guy" who is not like the last 100 guys who have approached a woman because you're not a pushover and you’re not intimidated by how she looks.
quote:Originally posted by perfectpeds:
As a woman when I was younger and hitting the club scene almost every night... if a guy offered to buy you a drink - he usually felt he had something coming to him. NOT all men mind you but a lot of them. So I NEVER accepted a drink from a stranger. Also, a lot of my friends would never dance with SOME guys.... but not me....even if he was wearing a striped shirt, plaid pants and coke bottle glasses -- I always said yes if approached -- my reason? I put myself in that person's shoes -- If I was a guy asking some girl to dance (not marry me, not go to bed, etc. -- just a dance) how would I feel if she said NO. Probably I feel like crap... SO I always said yes and maybe it was only for one song - but I never let anyone walk away feeling rejected by me. And I've practiced that throughout my life.
I agree that some guys do think they have "something coming to them" if they buy a woman a drink. I have to admire your perspective on dancing with any guy who asked. I think most women today won't do this and they never take a moment to think about the guy's perspective. Guys don't like approaching a woman and it's for this reason - the fear of rejection. It's hard-wired into guys' brains and is more genetic than anything else. As a result, all guys SHOULD feel afraid to some degree. However, most guys let this fear get the best of them and never approach a woman. They'll make up the worst possible scenario in their heads of what could possibly happen and completely psych themselves out. Just because you can imagine it doesn't mean it will happen. And even something does happen and a guy gets rejected, it's not the end of the world either. There could be many reasons a woman tells a guy "no" when he approaches. He could be given off a creepy and sketchy vibe (in which case, I wouldn't blame the woman for saying no). She could be having a bad day and just not up to being all that sociable. The bottom line is that sometimes the reasons are out of a guy's control as to why she said no. At that point, guys should just move on and not put that much stake in it.
quote:Originally posted by perfectpeds: As I am now older and wiser, I have learned that there is no rule keeping me from speaking to anyone, male or female, age 8 to 80, good looking, smart, rich, poor -- if you take to mind that people are just that "people" with the same fears, insecurities and desires/hopes as maybe yours...saying hello and having a conversation (without expectations) can open many doors and allows a person to learn so much from these new people.
While it may not have found me my soulmate yet, I have had wonderful relationships (most of them long term - just not as long I'd like - which is forever...LOL) and with each one I grow and learn more about life, people and myself. There is always something positive to be found.
This is some great stuff, IMO. I think everyone should realize that there's no rule keeping anyone from talking to anyone else and having a conversation with no expectations. People really are just people. From a guy's perspective, sometimes we get carried away by women's looks and, usually for just that reason alone, we'll "put her on a pedestal" without even thinking that she may have fears, hopes and dreams just like we all do.
Also, I think us guys have to learn the philosophy of "no expectations" when it comes to women. I find that most guys tend to think too much about their own personal "final goals" when it comes to encounters with women, instead of thinking about taking small steps. Guys are too much focused on the end game (i.e. getting a woman in bed or having an exclusive, long-term relationship with a woman) than they are about the things it takes to get to that point (i.e. conversation, building rapport, getting comfortable with each other, etc.). As the old saying goes, "It's not about the destination, but the journey and the ride and adventure you have on the way."
Also, as perfectpeds says, we can all learn from each other. There is always something positive to be found with any interaction with anyone, whether it be a brief encounter, a short-term relationship or a long-term relationship. There's always something positive that one can take from it and use in their own lives. Sometimes the only positive thing is not being like the person you were involved with, or had the interaction with. However, that lesson can be applied later on down the road.
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
quote:Originally posted by perfectpeds: ozboy, you asked "how else are we to get a girl into bed".. if that's all you're looking for then there are plenty of women out there who are easy targets and it doesn't take dinner,drinks and a movie. But if you're looking for quality and class to go along with it, then maybe look at the whole picture instead of just trying to get her into bed. You might find you enjoy some of her other attributes.
Fate111, I think you have good insight into women as does RPM. I would agree with the "don't make it a DATE" but a meeting to explore and get to know each other more - especially where there is no fear of having to try and get out of it -- coffee will only last so long. It gives you the out or you can choose to linger. And even then - if you make it to a date. a movie should come after you've had several get togethers. It's hard to get to know someone during a movie. If a guy asked me to a movie too early - I'd think "how am I going to find out about this guy if we can't talk. It can be awkward.
Depending on the girl/woman's age, depends on whether the word "date" might scare her. Confidence in a man is a definite turn on but I think a smart guy also looks for confidence in the woman. It can turn an average looking person into a dynamo whether you're male or female. Gorgeous feet on a woman and a gorgeous body will only last so long without personality, brains and a sense of adventure.
As a woman when I was younger and hitting the club scene almost every night... if a guy offered to buy you a drink - he usually felt he had something coming to him. NOT all men mind you but a lot of them. So I NEVER accepted a drink from a stranger. Also, a lot of my friends would never dance with SOME guys.... but not me....even if he was wearing a striped shirt, plaid pants and coke bottle glasses -- I always said yes if approached -- my reason? I put myself in that person's shoes -- If I was a guy asking some girl to dance (not marry me, not go to bed, etc. -- just a dance) how would I feel if she said NO. Probably I feel like crap... SO I always said yes and maybe it was only for one song - but I never let anyone walk away feeling rejected by me. And I've practiced that throughout my life.
As I am now older and wiser, I have learned that there is no rule keeping me from speaking to anyone, male or female, age 8 to 80, good looking, smart, rich, poor -- if you take to mind that people are just that "people" with the same fears, insecurities and desires/hopes as maybe yours...saying hello and having a conversation (without expectations) can open many doors and allows a person to learn so much from these new people.
While it may not have found me my soulmate yet, I have had wonderful relationships (most of them long term - just not as long I'd like - which is forever...LOL) and with each one I grow and learn more about life, people and myself. There is always something positive to be found.
OK OK - I know - I ramble so badly... I wish there was away for someone to stop me. Ha ha
Bottom line, be open in your mind and in your heart and you will be amazed at what's waiting out there.
OK I'm done -- really.... (for now at least)
more women need your attitude
don't ever change
Posted by perfectpeds (Member # 29295) on :
Thanks Mighty Mike - I truly appreciate your comment. I think having someone appreciate you as a whole and telling you to never change is one of the best compliments a person can give someone.
Posted by perfectpeds (Member # 29295) on :
Fate111 - your response and concurrent comments have me speechless. Great expansion and added clarity in your writing. Sometimes I think - yeah - it's just my opinion and what does that really mean? Thanks for giving it some credibility and validation.
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
quote:Originally posted by pedactor: as far as being romantic goes, last nite @ work i thought to myself if girls say they like getting massages and such, i guess its better to just do it instead of having a fuckin conversation about it when your one one one talking to a girl yes? like if shes in a vulnerable mood and talking about how bad her day was or whatever shes ranting about then you just slip in talk to her and just make your move...?
I do agree that talking about things like giving a foot massage tends to put a damper on the moment. It takes mystery out of the interaction. To mention you give a good massage and just start talking about it may sometimes work but the girl has to really want one badly, at least that has been my experience. One way around talking about it can be when she refuses to get one from you, shrug a little and reply, "Gee, that's too bad. You don't know what you're missing." This will tend to get her curiosity up and she'll begin to wonder if she's passing up on a really good thing. It also sends the message that you don't have any expectations, you're not needy and she's the one who's really missing out on something special.
A much better approach, if the woman is comfortable with you, is to make your move while she's relating to you what a stressful day she has had. Listen for a bit and then just say, "Here, maybe this will help", and don't wait for her approval. Just gently pick up her leg or ankle and start to massage her foot. In this case, you're leading, which is an attractive quality to women. There's also a little moment of mystery there, as she's not exactly sure what you're going to do when you say, "Here, maybe this will help", so it builds a little bit of anticipation as to what exactly you're going to do. She'll find out soon enough just how good your foot massage can be instead of you having to sell the idea to her.
quote:Originally posted by pedactor: it almost seems like the more you talk about it (even if she initated the conversation, you could get caught up in talking about how much you love doing romantic things for girls and subconsciously she may start to think you are just desparate
Yeah, that is part of it. Again, it goes back to the point of trying to sell yourself and the girl being the one who is selecting and not the other way around. What's mostly happening is that you're putting yourself out there a little too much if you begin going off on the romantic things you like doing for women. Think of yourself as an unread book versus a book that's wide open that anyone can read. If you start talking about all the romantic things you like doing for a woman, you are, at that point, the open book and there's no mystery about you. There's no sense of intrigue and the girl doesn't ask herself, "Gee, I wonder what this guy is really like?" When you don't give too much away, it causes intrigue and interest on the part of the woman.
Posted by perfectpeds (Member # 29295) on :
well put Fate111 and excellent conclusion pedactor! LOL Silent Seduction-- we could make that a movie!
Posted by markn (Member # 13818) on :
I have always believed, on average, that men who are female foot lovers are more romantic than other groups. But a woman's foot lover guy can be just as big of a macho butt as any other guy, especially if their lady doesn't use the special sexual power she holds to bend her foot loving man to her will. In short, we female foot-loving guys make nice pets to the right owner.
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