This is more of a story, told in retrospect, than anything else.
Well, around the beginning of this year I found myself in a difficult situation. I have been in an online relationship with a woman for quite a while now, I could, and still can say that I love her, however strange that may sound. Unfortunately there is quite an age gap between us, her being my senior by a few years, and us being at different stages of our lives. And while this relationship is not exactly healthy for either of us, I'm not sure I have the heart to break it up, it would hurt her immensely, something I can't bear.
Now a while after I had been with this woman, a girl I had been friendly with began talking to me privately, discussing life, and the things that friends do, nothing serious here. This girl has problems in her life, and was going through a difficult patch in her life, I helped her cheer up a few times, and then she decided that she loved me... Now I had a problem.
This girl is close to my age, lives near me, knows about my foot fetish and actively brought it up, asking for foot rubs and waving her feet in my face. Once she learned the extent of my obsession, she turned it up a notch, pressing her feet to my face and asking me to kiss them, putting them on my chest and just generally bringing up her feet as often as possible. When I asked her about it, she told me that she actually enjoyed it, and was not just doing it because I enjoyed it, whether this is truth or not, I don't know.
Both of these relationships are online for the time being, the second girl and I were planning on meeting, as friends. All of this happened at a time where I thought the original relationship was about to break, we barely talked anymore, and the conversation had run thin, at times, we never spoke, even when we we're both available. I also learned that the second girl had found a guy, and they were now in a relationship, but at the same time I knew if I asked her, she'd break up with him.
Eventually this hit breaking point, the first realised what the second was doing, and I had a decision to make, a woman who needed and loved me, or a girl, who I may not be compatible with, but could possibly fulfill every foot related dream I've ever had, and then some. I chose the first. I have not spoken to the second girl in over three months, but I still think about her, unhealthy I know, but I still wonder, if I made contact with her again, what would happen?
Well, that's been on my mind a while, I know how I can make contact with her, and believe me I am more than tempted by the idea. But she seems happy with her guy, and I still have not been able to part with the first, and I've resisted this so far, breaking two relationships to form one that may never work? I don't think I can do that, not to mention, I don't think she'd leave her current guy for me anymore anyway.
Posted by Sardelic (Member # 26863) on :
Nope, telephone conversations are the closest I've gotten, the conflict ended up happening about a week before I was going to meet one of them. I understand online relationships aren't healthy, I've admitted that. I live my life normally, I don't dwell everyday on this, after all, it is only online, and I do have a real life, simply something I thought about while browsing and decided to post. At this point, I feel I'm simply a constant in the first woman's life, our relationship itself has dwindled to a short chat whenever we have time, but I'm a rock in her life at this point, a rock she needs as she's losing her job.
Posted by longhitter04 (Member # 2391) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sardelic: This girl is close to my age, lives near me, knows about my foot fetish and actively brought it up, asking for foot rubs and waving her feet in my face. Once she learned the extent of my obsession, she turned it up a notch, pressing her feet to my face and asking me to kiss them, putting them on my chest and just generally bringing up her feet as often as possible.
Wait a minute... You said you never met either face to face, so how did the above activities happen?
Posted by Five For Feet (Member # 33596) on :
Exactly what I was thinking.
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
i'm glad i wasnt the only who saw some inconsistancies in this 'story'
Posted by jg24fans (Member # 18305) on :
I think he meant he hasnt seen the first girl in person.
My advice is stick with the young one that you HAVE seen in person. The girl online that you haven't seen you don't REALLY know since you have only talked to her online and you even admit its not that much. Break it off or do whatever you do with online relationships and get serious with the girl who likes your foot fetish and with whom you have seen in person.
Posted by Danielle Moore (Member # 34633) on :
In my humble opinion, Spotlight is correct. It's an online relationship, you have never met and it is now time to move on. Get out, put yourself out there and meet someone that can give you human interaction, touch, smell, taste etc. You can not be truly happy living in a virtual world.
Live Life, it's way to short.
D xoxo
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
as a counter arguement to footgirl.. i met my wife online and we've been married for over 7 years and if you guys are familar with my posts, you'll know i am pretty damn happy in my marriage and with my wife.. and its getting less and less unusual to find someone you click with online. you can actually get to know someone online just as well as you know someone offline because you spend so much time just talking without the distractions of staring at her feet or cleavage dont let closeminded individuals tell you that something online isnt real. that being said, dont put all your focus into anything just online.
Posted by Those Toes (Member # 2489) on :
Dude, online relationships arent always the hottest ideas. If you've got someone right there that you were there for and she let's you have fun with her feet (added mega bonus!) I'd keep hold of that REALITY and see where that may take you.
Onile girl: Far Old no feet online old
Real shorty dwon the way: Close your age feet not online feet
So when you look at it, which sounds better? The 'round the way girl may not be excatly what you want, but hey she's into you. Try it on and see how it fits.
Posted by Lyrical (Member # 6603) on :
Footgirl there are many people who due to busy schedules and I'm sure several other things don't have the time or desire to form relationships in person at least at first. They also feel that they can be there true selves until they feel comfortable enough with the person they are communicating with to perhaps meet them. I get it up to a point but eventually there is nothing to compare with true physical/emotional/spiritual connection with a partner. I do not of a buddy back in DC who's wife left him after months of communicating online with someone else. Out of balance in my opinion but it happened. Probably more stories out there like that but I for one would much rater look at a peson when I'm communicating with them. This is not meant to be judgemental in any wayjust conversational.
Posted by FtLckr26 (Member # 13998) on :
Long distance relationships don't work. I tried it and was miserable. Get with the girl that is closer to your age. You will be happier. You'll get to see each other, have more things in common and she wants to satisfy your foot fetish.
Posted by nineone5 (Member # 13245) on :
Ha, the guy stopped talking after someone asked how is it possible to say that the most he has ever done was talk on the phone when he clearly stated she pressed her feet on his face/chest. either way, i do not believe in online relationships, grow a pair and meet a real girl. then use the newly grown pair to foot bang bang her.
Posted by peterindc (Member # 33778) on :
He says he gave one of them foot rubs, but then he says he's not met either one in person? His story sounds like a load of BS.
I doubt we'll see this guy around here again.
Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by nusuth: as a counter arguement to footgirl.. i met my wife online and we've been married for over 7 years and if you guys are familar with my posts, you'll know i am pretty damn happy in my marriage and with my wife.. and its getting less and less unusual to find someone you click with online. you can actually get to know someone online just as well as you know someone offline because you spend so much time just talking without the distractions of staring at her feet or cleavage dont let closeminded individuals tell you that something online isnt real. that being said, dont put all your focus into anything just online.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamen Nutsth! You know all those posts of Athena K you see?...she took all those coz we're in an online relationship and I'd say it's a REALLY healthy one, Footgirl
so lol Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
Btw - since this guy registered in 10-10-2007...he's mad 3 posts total...two of them on THIS topic.
Yeah - he's Billy-Bullshitter...I can't work out WHY one would lie about this kind of story though O.o...eh - weirdos...
[ June 01, 2009, 10:23 AM: Message edited by: Andy-Laa ]
Posted by Athena K (Member # 33809) on :
quote:Originally posted by footgirl0226: ok so online gf. How long have you gone out with her? Have u met? I guess I just dont get it. But if u explain I will try to get it.
andrew and i met each other on facebook in early 2008, there was a group of regular posters in a group called 6 degrees and we all became really close despite being scattered all over the world. neither of us were looking for a relationship at all, but it got to the point that neither of us could see ourselves being with anyone else. it was never a difficult decision or a 'sacrifice', neither of us see it that way in the least, and i think i can safely say we both find it really easy to maintain a healthy, trusting relationship despite the distance.
we've been in a formal relationship for about 7 months now, and given that both of us are students its not feasible that we can just pop over to visit each other at will. im spending christmas and new years with him in england, then the plan is he makes the move out to australia in late 2010.
speaking just for myself, i know that to other people our situation may seem strange. my mother for one can NOT understand it, and i think secretly hopes its just a phase, it IS new and it IS different. there are a lot of obstacles in our relationship that arent present in conventional relationships, but we are completely open about everything, even if its awkward or painful to talk about, openness is so essential in a long distance rel and we both work hard to make sure we dont go to bed angry (pointed silences and 'hmphs' dont work too well over msn )
what it comes down to, basically, is that i cant imagine a life without him in the centre of it. i love him he could be from mars and id still do this. its the most 'right' thing ive ever felt in my life.
(i know youre going to read this and call me corny, andrew but XP i dont care haha)
[ May 31, 2009, 05:17 AM: Message edited by: Athena K ]
Posted by Michael P (Member # 1922) on :
wow
Posted by Robotron2084 (Member # 33263) on :
Good points Footgirl0226, Andy, and Athena. I hope the OP gets himself on track.
Posted by Michael P (Member # 1922) on :
maybe i'm weird, but i like to have easy access to a chick and don't want to go through the hassle of traveling to meet somebody when i can meet somebody that is just as good if not better than some "e-friend" within 10 minutes of my house
i like physical contact and verbal communication too, not words on a computer screen
i'm not sure how anybody can argue an e-relationship is healthy but then again people these days like to twitter "i'm going to the grocery store to get toilet paper" or some other nonsense so maybe i'm the weird one
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
you guys seemed to be fixated on the idea that an 'online' gf is the point. it's not. its a means to an end. i have no doubt that given the chance that andy and athena could be physically together, they would be. its meant to be a temporary situation until things can be resolved so someone can make the move.
Michael P, you sir, are just thinking with your cock. if you happened to fall in love with someone, you may decide that not getting your rocks off whenever you want may be a trade-off you are willing to make if you could be with someone you truly love.
Footgirl.. sorry hun, but maybe you are just too old. Posted by Michael P (Member # 1922) on :
if you've already interacted with them in person fine, but how does one "fall in love" just by reading internet words?
Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
^ Phone calls not allowed or something, Mike? Video calls? Webcam? And you do realise that MSN is instant messaging, not like on these boards, yeah? So what is the difference how you fall in love? I can't see it...
Posted by Michael P (Member # 1922) on :
quote:Originally posted by Andy-Laa: ^ Phone calls not allowed or something, Mike? Video calls? Webcam? And you do realise that MSN is instant messaging, not like on these boards, yeah? So what is the difference how you fall in love? I can't see it...
interacting in person is completely different than any of the things you listed
chatting on msn for example, people can take a little more time to think about what they want to say before hitting "enter", sounds ideal if you have a stuttering problem or get lost for words
the way a person speaks, their voice tone,body language,facial expressions, feeling their body even if it's just a touch on the shoulder all GREATLY influence whether a person is attracted to you or not
none of that can be experienced in an e-relationship, heck the other person might have an odor problem for all you know or be a bad kisser
people can seem cool and confident on the net but put them in front of people they are like a scared child
how is this even debateable?
and aren't there girls in your own continent?
an e-relationship seems to me like it's an infatuation type of thing, since you don't see them in person it makes them more mysterious, which always increases attraction
also it might be a feeling of wanting what you can't have or what isn't always available
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
quote: an e-relationship seems to me like it's an infatuation type of thing
yup, that was me with my wife.. and still is. funny how i have that feeling for/about her after being together for 8 years when i was bored with every other woman i met after a couple of months.
btw, i fell in love with her within a week of talking to her. actually within a week of 'chatting' with her. both of us were in relationships, neither of us wanted a thing except to kill some time online, and we both instantly felt it. dont ask me to explain it because i struggled with it for a long time.. and still to this day i dont like thinkingn about it because it MAKES NO SENSE! i am one of the most logical, even headed, intellectually oriented, non touchy feely guy you could meet and i couldnt control my feelings for her. we met after chatting and voice chatting for about 3 months because we both needed to see if it was 'real'. and oh, was it real. we spent the next 9 months, shuttling back and forth monthly for 3 or 4 day visits until everything was set for her to move. we married one year to the day after met. its been work, just like any other marriage, but we both have been more committed to each other than any previous relationship and we are constantly growing and getting better together.
stop being so closeminded and just realize it can happen. its been proven.
Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by nusuth: stop being so closeminded and just realize it can happen. its been proven.
Nice pwn Well he called my girlfriend smelly...hahahaha
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
lol@andy on this board tho, that could be a huge compliment Posted by Mona (Member # 8351) on :
quote:Originally posted by Andy-Laa: Btw - since this guy registered in 10-10-2007...he's mad 3 posts total...two of them on THIS topic.
Yeah - he's Billy-Bullshitter...I can't work out WHY one would lie about this kind of story though O.o...eh - weirdos...
Nah.When someone has three posts and stories don't make sense and they just joined, that is when it looks fishy.He has been here for years.He is just a lurker who has something on his mind.Most of the comments here didn't read what he actually said.
Posted by Michael P (Member # 1922) on :
quote:Originally posted by nusuth:
quote: an e-relationship seems to me like it's an infatuation type of thing
yup, that was me with my wife.. and still is. funny how i have that feeling for/about her after being together for 8 years when i was bored with every other woman i met after a couple of months.
btw, i fell in love with her within a week of talking to her. actually within a week of 'chatting' with her. both of us were in relationships, neither of us wanted a thing except to kill some time online, and we both instantly felt it. dont ask me to explain it because i struggled with it for a long time.. and still to this day i dont like thinkingn about it because it MAKES NO SENSE! i am one of the most logical, even headed, intellectually oriented, non touchy feely guy you could meet and i couldnt control my feelings for her. we met after chatting and voice chatting for about 3 months because we both needed to see if it was 'real'. and oh, was it real. we spent the next 9 months, shuttling back and forth monthly for 3 or 4 day visits until everything was set for her to move. we married one year to the day after met. its been work, just like any other marriage, but we both have been more committed to each other than any previous relationship and we are constantly growing and getting better together.
stop being so closeminded and just realize it can happen. its been proven.
sure it can happen, there are exceptions to every rule, some people have been struck by lightning, most have never experienced that
maybe i'm weird but i'll stick with chicks in my area, chicks that i can talk VERBALLY with, look into their eyes, feel their skin, help me "release" tension
maybe i'm completely clueless but that's what i thought a relationship was all about, to each their own
i think most people that did e-relationships will some day meet a person that lives close by, you know somebody actually convenient and will laugh at their e-relationship from the past
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
i agree 100% Michael, most relationships that start online will never amount to anything, but to dismiss them just because they are online is what i am referring to. as you said, lightning does strike people so you cant dismiss it just because it hasnt happened to you.
as for your summation of your idea of a relationship, i agree. all those items are certainly part of what i want in relationship, but there is also an emotional aspect that has nothing to do with physical distance. personally, i believe those qualities you mention are the easy part.
i am not trying to argue that this a route everyone should take to look for a partner, but i would like any prejudice towards such a relationship dropped. maybe its not for you or a million other people, but it does work. i personally could never go to a club/bar and pick some chick up to bang. i, personally, never got that.
Posted by Athena K (Member # 33809) on :
quote:Originally posted by nusuth: i agree 100% Michael, most relationships that start online will never amount to anything, but to dismiss them just because they are online is what i am referring to. as you said, lightning does strike people so you cant dismiss it just because it hasnt happened to you.
as for your summation of your idea of a relationship, i agree. all those items are certainly part of what i want in relationship, but there is also an emotional aspect that has nothing to do with physical distance. personally, i believe those qualities you mention are the easy part.
i am not trying to argue that this a route everyone should take to look for a partner, but i would like any prejudice towards such a relationship dropped. maybe its not for you or a million other people, but it does work. i personally could never go to a club/bar and pick some chick up to bang. i, personally, never got that.
well said!!
Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by Athena K:
quote:Originally posted by nusuth: i agree 100% Michael, most relationships that start online will never amount to anything, but to dismiss them just because they are online is what i am referring to. as you said, lightning does strike people so you cant dismiss it just because it hasnt happened to you.
as for your summation of your idea of a relationship, i agree. all those items are certainly part of what i want in relationship, but there is also an emotional aspect that has nothing to do with physical distance. personally, i believe those qualities you mention are the easy part.
i am not trying to argue that this a route everyone should take to look for a partner, but i would like any prejudice towards such a relationship dropped. maybe its not for you or a million other people, but it does work. i personally could never go to a club/bar and pick some chick up to bang. i, personally, never got that.
well said!!
Shush, smelly Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
listen buddy, she's an intelligent woman to agree with me!
i do, however, have to question that intelligence when i think about that fact that she has a 'thing' for you. Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by nusuth: listen buddy, she's an intelligent woman to agree with me!
i do, however, have to question that intelligence when i think about that fact that she has a 'thing' for you.
That's kinda a really bastard comment to make, Nutsth...
Posted by Michael P (Member # 1922) on :
quote:Originally posted by nusuth: i agree 100% Michael, most relationships that start online will never amount to anything, but to dismiss them just because they are online is what i am referring to. as you said, lightning does strike people so you cant dismiss it just because it hasnt happened to you.
as for your summation of your idea of a relationship, i agree. all those items are certainly part of what i want in relationship, but there is also an emotional aspect that has nothing to do with physical distance. personally, i believe those qualities you mention are the easy part.
i am not trying to argue that this a route everyone should take to look for a partner, but i would like any prejudice towards such a relationship dropped. maybe its not for you or a million other people, but it does work. i personally could never go to a club/bar and pick some chick up to bang. i, personally, never got that.
I see
the bar/club isn't my thing either
Posted by vanderfeet (Member # 8733) on :
quote:Originally posted by Andy-Laa:
quote:Originally posted by nusuth: listen buddy, she's an intelligent woman to agree with me!
i do, however, have to question that intelligence when i think about that fact that she has a 'thing' for you.
That's kinda a really bastard comment to make, Nutsth...
I think we've identified ONE problem with online communication -- misinterpreting someone's tone. Posted by crazyscot (Member # 3393) on :
To the dude that started this post, you are a retard... go out and meet people ffs and get some real feet, ya know what they are dont't ya????
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
quote:I think we've identified ONE problem with online communication -- misinterpreting someone's tone.
tell me about it. andy should know better than to think i would trash him. there's very people on this board that i think deserve negative attention and he is not one of them. it was nudge and a wink which is why i put the laugh emo. Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by nusuth:
quote:I think we've identified ONE problem with online communication -- misinterpreting someone's tone.
tell me about it. andy should know better than to think i would trash him. there's very people on this board that i think deserve negative attention and he is not one of them. it was nudge and a wink which is why i put the laugh emo.
Yeah - I don't mind people taking the piss out of me for a laugh; I just don't like it when they do it to my girlfriend...=/
Whatever - it was a joke. No harm.
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
spotlight - if i scored what feet? please elaborate.
and andy.. buddy.. i was more busting on YOU than athena. was she offended? my apologies to you both if you took what i said with any seriousness.
Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by nusuth: [QBand andy.. buddy.. i was more busting on YOU than athena. was she offended? my apologies to you both if you took what i said with any seriousness. [/QB]
She wasn't lol. I just was on behalf of her - nvm...if I actually like...READ your post then yes - it was a joke hahaha
And Spotlight is saying if your wife is your avatar, then you must be doing something right in starting an e-relationship and he's going to follow suit ...I think
[ June 05, 2009, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: Andy-Laa ]
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
thank you spotlight. i did indeed meet her online and those are indeed her feet in my avatar. Posted by Athena K (Member # 33809) on :
quote:Originally posted by nusuth: spotlight - if i scored what feet? please elaborate.
and andy.. buddy.. i was more busting on YOU than athena. was she offended? my apologies to you both if you took what i said with any seriousness.
i wasnt offended in the least honey
btw thanks for so eloquetly describing long-distance/online relationships. i might use some of yout lines myself if you dont mind, when trying to explain it to others.
AK
Posted by Michael P (Member # 1922) on :
this is fascinating to me
so when a person approaches you, you tell them you are taken? even if they seems like they would be cool and look good? you won't dance with other people?
when your friends want to go out where other single people will be, you don't go? you're home alone on saturday and friday nights?
no flirting with other people? anything? how do you resist?
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
yes, yes, yes, yes.. or something like that.
when my wife and i were still in different countries, we definitely considered ourselves as 'taken'. we definitely were in a committed relationship.
why wouldnt we go out and be around other single people?? it's not like i cant be around an attractive single woman and not control myself. which answers your last question. its called self control. its the same thing that keeps me taking things too far with women now. as for the fliring, omg, i am in a relationship, not dead! of course i flirt.. i did then, i do now and as long as someone woman finds me attractive, i will continue to flirt.. as does my wife. it's completely harmless and means nothing. it's not like i dont find other women attractive and i dont expect my wife to never find another guy attractive ever again.. so why would i care if she batted her eyelashes at the hot detective that frequents her restaurant?
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by Michael P:
quote:Originally posted by Andy-Laa: ^ Phone calls not allowed or something, Mike? Video calls? Webcam? And you do realise that MSN is instant messaging, not like on these boards, yeah? So what is the difference how you fall in love? I can't see it...
chatting on msn for example, people can take a little more time to think about what they want to say before hitting "enter", sounds ideal if you have a stuttering problem or get lost for words
or if you creep people out in person or have no friends. despite the epic inconsistencies in this story, i get it
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
i think you should take the girl you ended up choosing and get her to be as affectionate with her feet as the other girl. this way you get the best of both worlds, Hee Hee
great thing is that it is entirely possible to do that Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88: or if you creep people out in person or have no friends. despite the epic inconsistencies in this story, i get it
lol - is that an unfounded, unjustified accusation of me, blackHxC88?
What inconsistencies are there? - I'll try and clear them up. Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by Andy-Laa:
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88: or if you creep people out in person or have no friends. despite the epic inconsistencies in this story, i get it
lol - is that an unfounded, unjustified accusation of me, blackHxC88?
What inconsistencies are there? - I'll try and clear them up.
first line was talking about me, second line was about the OP
sorry for the confusion
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88:
quote:Originally posted by Andy-Laa:
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88: or if you creep people out in person or have no friends. despite the epic inconsistencies in this story, i get it
lol - is that an unfounded, unjustified accusation of me, blackHxC88?
What inconsistencies are there? - I'll try and clear them up.
first line was talking about me
hey blackhawk, we're ur friends & ur not creepy m8
just look at yourself as a good fetishist and it will all get better in due time Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tyler D.:
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88:
quote:Originally posted by Andy-Laa:
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88: or if you creep people out in person or have no friends. despite the epic inconsistencies in this story, i get it
lol - is that an unfounded, unjustified accusation of me, blackHxC88?
What inconsistencies are there? - I'll try and clear them up.
first line was talking about me
hey blackhawk, we're ur friends & ur not creepy m8
just look at yourself as a good fetishist and it will all get better in due time
typing "inconsistencies" right on the first try is all the good that's gonna happen today
Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88: first line was talking about me, second line was about the OP
sorry for the confusion [/QB]
Lol - it's cool mate and mate - don't worry about it - you just too shy? (What's "OP" btw?)
Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by Andy-Laa:
quote:Originally posted by blackHxC88: first line was talking about me, second line was about the OP
sorry for the confusion
Lol - it's cool mate and mate - don't worry about it - you just too shy? (What's "OP" btw?) [/QB]
"original poster" the guy who started the thread
Posted by Michael P (Member # 1922) on :
quote:Originally posted by nusuth: yes, yes, yes, yes.. or something like that.
when my wife and i were still in different countries, we definitely considered ourselves as 'taken'. we definitely were in a committed relationship.
why wouldnt we go out and be around other single people?? it's not like i cant be around an attractive single woman and not control myself. which answers your last question. its called self control. its the same thing that keeps me taking things too far with women now. as for the fliring, omg, i am in a relationship, not dead! of course i flirt.. i did then, i do now and as long as someone woman finds me attractive, i will continue to flirt.. as does my wife. it's completely harmless and means nothing. it's not like i dont find other women attractive and i dont expect my wife to never find another guy attractive ever again.. so why would i care if she batted her eyelashes at the hot detective that frequents her restaurant?
i don't know, i just don't understand how somebody can feel obligated to be loyal to somebody they've never touched or even spoken to in person
i don't understand how somebody can pass on opportunities that are right in front of their face for somebody that lives 1000's of miles away
i don't understand how somebody can come off "special" over the internet, heck many people lie over the internet
reading the myspace and facebook profile of people that i know, they describe themselves in a way that is completely different than the way they come off in person
some claim to be kind and considerate, they aren't
some claim to be successful cool and the life of the party, they aren't
they describe the "cool" way they want to be, not the way they actually are
the internet is often a fantasy world for the socially inept, i'm not singling out anybody here but that seems to be the case from what i've seen and experienced
Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by Michael P: i don't know, i just don't understand how somebody can feel obligated to be loyal to somebody they've never touched or even spoken to in person
i don't understand how somebody can pass on opportunities that are right in front of their face for somebody that lives 1000's of miles away
i don't understand how somebody can come off "special" over the internet, heck many people lie over the internet
reading the myspace and facebook profile of people that i know, they describe themselves in a way that is completely different than the way they come off in person
some claim to be kind and considerate, they aren't
some claim to be successful cool and the life of the party, they aren't
they describe the "cool" way they want to be, not the way they actually are
the internet is often a fantasy world for the socially inept, i'm not singling out anybody here but that seems to be the case from what i've seen and experienced
Fair comments, but I think all you really need to have is common sense and some bollocks to actually go through with it - some guys like you perhaps couldn't handle the strain that it (admittedly) is to maintain a healthy online relationship (whether you consider that a contradiction in terms or not I don't know...).
It needs some determination, common sense (to make sure s/he isn't a fucking psycho), will-power and emotional strength to be able to be together. It's not for everyone - it wasn't for me...before it accidentally happened.
Maybe I'm weird, but I find it quite easy to maintain the relationship despite the obvious drawbacks; I don't get tempted by other women, I always TRY to put her feelings in the forefront of my mind, we send each other presents and all the normal, couple-y typical (non-contact)stuff...
I mean just a few months ago I was asked to feel up a woman's feet (to "feel how wet they were") and I just didn't want to. What's the point in a touch of feet if I've got a gorgeous pair of feet for life - after a small wait?
I suppose the main thing to establish in an online relationship is that the other person is REAL and not just some sadistic fuck tricking you: easy to find out - a sign-pic, phone call, webcam etc... all do the trick.
It's just a matter of what you're capacity for commitment is after you realise you've fallen in love - I wasn't IN an online relationship UNTIL we fell in love - I agree it seems a bit stupid to be in one with someone you don't love. Online friendship works, but I think it's just gotta happen - no forcing it, no looking for love or it will most likely result in a strategically gentle wank, over porn between your sobs.
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
quote:i don't know, i just don't understand how somebody can feel obligated to be loyal to somebody they've never touched or even spoken to in person
i don't understand how somebody can pass on opportunities that are right in front of their face for somebody that lives 1000's of miles away
because your 'obligation' (a poor word choice when speaking about a relationship online or real) is based on an emotional connection. when i pass on opportunity that is right in front of my face, i dont care if my wife is in the next room or another country. i do/did so because i am committed to her emotionally.. not physically.
how someone comes across as 'special'.. i cant explain that. my wife and i both actually struggled to deny what we almost immediately felt. of course we couldnt be sure if who we chatted with was who they really were, but the connection we felt seemed right and we couldnt deny it so we went with it. there many MANY MANY discussions of it not being real, what if in person it didnt translate, etc. i fell in love who i thought she was.. and when we met she was exactly the person she portrayed to me online. to be honest though, we didnt really commit ourselves to each other until we met. i wasnt with anyone before that and neither was she, but i dont think either of us would have totally committed to that before our first face to face.
Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by nusuth:
quote:i don't know, i just don't understand how somebody can feel obligated to be loyal to somebody they've never touched or even spoken to in person
i don't understand how somebody can pass on opportunities that are right in front of their face for somebody that lives 1000's of miles away
because your 'obligation' (a poor word choice when speaking about a relationship online or real) is based on an emotional connection. when i pass on opportunity that is right in front of my face, i dont care if my wife is in the next room or another country. i do/did so because i am committed to her emotionally.. not physically.
how someone comes across as 'special'.. i cant explain that. my wife and i both actually struggled to deny what we almost immediately felt. of course we couldnt be sure if who we chatted with was who they really were, but the connection we felt seemed right and we couldnt deny it so we went with it. there many MANY MANY discussions of it not being real, what if in person it didnt translate, etc. i fell in love who i thought she was.. and when we met she was exactly the person she portrayed to me online. to be honest though, we didnt really commit ourselves to each other until we met. i wasnt with anyone before that and neither was she, but i dont think either of us would have totally committed to that before our first face to face.
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dont let closeminded individuals tell you that something online isnt real. that being said, dont put all your focus into anything just online. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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lol![[Tongue]](tongue.gif)
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he could be from mars and id still do this. its the most 'right' thing ive ever felt in my life. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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