Foot Fetish Forum: Foot fetish origins/self esteem.

This is topic Foot fetish origins/self esteem. in forum Foot Fetish Talk at Foot Fetish Forum.

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Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :

Was having a thinking session last night after a girl i'm seeing called me cocky. I find that funny because I havn't always been that way. As a kid I had very low self esteem. So I started to delve back into my childhood to figure out why. I also thought about how my sexuality has changed since then too. Are the two related? Ok. I guess as a kid I always felt that my parents cared about my lil bro more than me. I had to "perform" to be loved while they were loved for who they are. (I know whine whine)

So any way...how does this fit in with my foot fetish? Well I was just a year old when my first sibling was born. Being a toddler myself i'd imagine I was at my mothers feet alot while he was breast fed coddled and everything else a mother would do with a new born. Being next to her feet coupled with low self esteem perhaps made me think that was my place....and somehow was linked in my brain sexually? Hmm

So as I grew up feet was all I was about. I was probobly a true foot fetishist as a teen. But as my confidence grew out of being a man so did my attachment to feet. Sex was something I didn't like initially but now I love. I'll turn down a footjob any day over sex. Foot worship even doesn't do it for me unless sex is involved....a completely different scenario than a few years ago where that would be the end all.

Even checking out wu's is more out of habit and comaraderie instead of satisfying my fetish. In my younger days i'd religiously check out the contribution pages filling my hard drive with pics....but now I soley hang out on the forum and go weeks without even checking out the pics.

I've become more dominant in the bedroom with me initiating intamacy as opposed to my preference in the past where my ideal would be her starting the sequence of sexual events.

So I was wondering if anyone else can identify with my progression? I wonder if this sort of experience is typical amongst foot fetishist or perhaps soley my way. I'd imagine there are numerous avenues that all led us here to wu's.

thanks

GQguy

Posted by ned land (Member # 8065) on :

Wow, that;s a lot more thought than I have ever put into it. I agree with you on some of your points and find some of my experiences similar, but I'll have to think about it now and get back to the board later.

I do come on here a lot for the community, as you said, and like that there is someplace I can go and find like-minded people. The pics are nice too, and I'll admit I still check them out, but I think I would still come here if this was a text only forum as well.

Cheers,
ned

Posted by Janet Mason (Member # 24724) on :

My husband, Steve, has had a foot fetish since he was 15 but it was never a "substitute" for real sex and never has been. He simply could not imagine himself with a woman who did not have pretty feet and, also, indulge him in his fetish...but feet never have been the be-all and end-all for him.

Don't get me wrong, though...after 20 years of marriage I can still bring him to his knees, trembling with lust, with my just feet and we have a LOT of foot-related sex, but his libido is so strong that he wants do do everything else, too, from oral to vaginal to anal. Every time we have sex, my feet are definitely involved, but usually they are just one of the items on the full menu of my body...one course in the full meal.

I think this subject is like most..everyone is different and has their own story! [Smile]

Posted by KC_666 (Member # 9458) on :

I think for most of us, Janet, that feet aren't the end all either; we just like 'em. It's like how we like face, hair, breasts, etc, etc.

Good post though everyone.

Posted by Maverick Matrix (Member # 2989) on :

I think for most of us, feet are an additive in our sex lives (for those that have sex lives, that is). It can never replace sex and will never be the end all be all. For those who have feet as that, there's nothing wrong with that. I just wonder how they function in a relationship. Seeming that women do like to be treated like a whole, just going after their feet and nothing else seems to me to be a total turnoff.

Posted by National (Member # 8568) on :

quote:
Originally posted by GQguy:

Even checking out wu's is more out of habit and comaraderie instead of satisfying my fetish. In my younger days i'd religiously check out the contribution pages filling my hard drive with pics....but now I soley hang out on the forum and go weeks without even checking out the pics.

You and I alike. I check out the pics in the contribution section twice a month. The only reason why I would check there is not because I'm looking to satisfy my cravings (unless the contributions are pictures from California Beach Feet), but instead to get a quick recap of what's been going on before I log into the forum.

As far as everything else you said, I don't see anything wrong. No controversies here. I'll turn down a footjob for a blowjob whenever each time I had those opportunities presented to me. Although I will have to say that for me, I can be just fine worshiping the feet of a Perfect Stranger somewhere private without having intercourse become an issue of factor or relevance. Sex is always the best case scenario but with the strange lady, I guess I can manage without the sex. Not all the time, but sometimes. If we were talking about someone who I'm steady with, on the other hand, I will NOT be fine if all that happened was foot worship. With a steady girl, I was always grateful with the sex even if I worshiped her feet in, let's say, 30-40 percent of those times.

I don't know if these are the characteristics most foot fetishists accommodate with. I would like to think that some fetishists go about their business one way while a number of others do things rather differently.

--National

Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :

Interesting post everyone.

But what I was getting at was the "why we have foot fetishes?".

For me it has become more weak over years. Why? At the same time my self confidence has risen alot too. Are the two related?

I read a post about one guy kissing his girl's feet after she won a contest. Most guys were turned on. Cool. I however couldn't imagine doing it. Perhaps a few years ago? Yes!! But now no. Why? It doesn't fit who I am. "I'm not kissing anyones feet" is what comes to mind. Rematch! So with that I began to assume that perhaps my self worth and my sexuality were linked. I still love feet! My girls all have beautiful feet. And I love to rub them when I can, and being barefoot is a must during sex. But things are different. I remember feeling "different" than all the other guys in the locker room talking about sex. Now I feel as though i've caught up and surpassed them.

I was just wondering if there was a link between self esteem and the strength of one's foot fetish. Especially when the individual is young.

GQ

Posted by Five For Feet (Member # 33596) on :

Hmmmm. I can definitely relate to your progression GQ. I myself had been visiting Wu's contributions and links for years before I even visited the forum, and that is now my primary purpose for coming here. Don't get me wrong, I still check out the pics, just not as often. Sex has never been just about the feet for me either, but I always thought about and craved them before I introduced it into my "exploits", and don't feel as though I need to settle for sex without involving feet now. Fortunatley, I'm in a relationship with someone who's "with it". The forum has been positive for me in that it has expanded my understanding of the fetish, and shown me that it actually has many facets and manifestations. I think what you've described is just a reflection or parallel of the progression you generally go through in life.

Good post GQ, thanks.

Posted by Pjay (Member # 35692) on :

The only progression I have observed in myself with regard to my foot fetish is that I now enjoy a whole lot more different "types" of girls' feet than I used to. I used to be very particular that the feet had to be free of calluses, and were clean and fresh and pink-and-white and all. Toe shapes, sole shapes, toenail shapes--all of those were required to be within certain aesthetic parameters. Over the years, those parameters have widened considerably.

I am a confident, competent, intelligent man. I don't have issues with feeling low self-esteem, or subservience, or inadequacy. MY LOVE FOR FEET IS BECAUSE OF THEIR AESTHETICS. First and foremost, I love they way they look. Second, I love the way they feel. I also love the way they smell and taste, too, but principally it's about look and feel, for me.

I most definitely can enjoy foot-play even when it is not going to involve sex. I can enjoy sex when it does not involve foot-play, too; but it is notable that my favorite sexual encounters will for certain involve foot-play. Sex without feet is not a candidate for being a strong memory-maker.

Posted by Pjay (Member # 35692) on :

quote:
Originally posted by GQguy:
I remember feeling "different" than all the other guys in the locker room talking about sex. Now I feel as though i've caught up and surpassed them.

GQ

"Surpassed them"? In terms of what? How much sex you've had? How much you like sex? How much you talk about sex? Wondering what you meant by "surpassed them"...

Posted by Pjay (Member # 35692) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Janet Mason:
Don't get me wrong, though...after 20 years of marriage I can still bring him to his knees, trembling with lust, with my just feet and we have a LOT of foot-related sex, but his libido is so strong that he wants do do everything else, too, from oral to vaginal to anal. Every time we have sex, my feet are definitely involved, but usually they are just one of the items on the full menu of my body...one course in the full meal.

Hottest...
paragraph...
ever! [Laugh]

Posted by LuckyTeen (Member # 30822) on :

How people get really into feet is very interesting I think, because there is no real one way to develop a foot fetish. Everyone has different experiences that trigger it.

For some, I think experiences like that sound like they could turn someone dominant sexually or submissive. But I'm just speculating: p we really don't know and that makes it interesting to talk about.

I know what you mean GQ about the craving of female feet until you get them. When you’re a teenager growing up anyway and you have a foot fetish to deal with as well (which is a very powerful sexual attraction) it's quite frustrating.

I remember when I was younger, I used to watch foot worship videos and just think to myself; "this will never happen to me, I will never find a girl who is totally cool with that and it will remain fantasy"

I didn't think any girl would totally open up to it and that's what I wanted as well as just simply her feet. Thoughts like that make the craving stronger and if you like feet it dominates your sexual fantasies and thoughts.

No foot worship session could ever be more exciting for me than the first time those soft soles were places deliberately in front of my face for kissing.

My heart was pounding with anticipation and excitement and my adrenaline pumping, the subtle smell which was everything I dreamed a pretty girl’s foot would smell like hit me and added to the intensity of the situation.

Then when I first kissed and smelled lovingly it was just bliss [Laugh]

That sounds daft but this was the moment I had fantasised about for years and I had just become aware it was actually happening in this moment.

Then the tongue came out inevitably (as a foot lover the moment between you getting your first lick is so exciting) I didn't know what it would taste like and it was great. I could taste the sweat (only very gently it was subtle on my tongue not wet) and it was just amazing.

After my GF left that night I could still taste her feet on my lips and I swear to god I was up for the rest of the night: laugh:

I couldn't wait for it to happen again, at that point the fetish peaks as you have had a taste (literally lol) and want more.

Posted by cloudray (Member # 18758) on :

I've always had low self-esteem. I had a very similar feeling of unfairness as a child. I lived with my mother, step-father, and half-sister. I always felt that my step-father played favorites with my sister. I don't think that contributed at all to my fetish though because I liked feet before my sister was even born (when I was five) and before my mother ever got with my step-father. It's possible that self-esteem has played a part in SOME of my fantasies, but not all of them. Sometimes in my fantasies there is no undercurrent of submission or humiliation and sometimes I even like to fantasize about being a confident and handsome guy. [Wink]

Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pjay:

quote:
Originally posted by GQguy:
I remember feeling "different" than all the other guys in the locker room talking about sex. Now I feel as though i've caught up and surpassed them.

GQ
"Surpassed them"? In terms of what? How much sex you've had? How much you like sex? How much you talk about sex? Wondering what you meant by "surpassed them"...

Mainly experience. Partners. Frequency. Not so much talk. All of which were nill a few years ago.

Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :

i am pretty much the opposite of you GQ. i am the older sibling in my family and if, its not too egotistical to say, the favored one. i was never ignored and i never lacked attention.. at least no more so than my brother. i dont feel that my self esteem, which has at times been high and others times been low, is dependent on my foot fetish or vice versa. my interest in feet is more dependent on the woman i've been with and the amount of time between footplay. the first gf that i told about my interest in feet allowed me to experiement and, although she really sexy feet, it was a very minimal thing. my ex-wife has butt ugly feet and i went years without any foot related activities at all and didnt really care. it was still primarily a visual thing for me. with my current wife tho.. i have become a foot fiend. she has encouraged me and enjoys out foot sex and the attention i pay to her feet and it has become much more part of my sex life and sexual interest.

Posted by Pjay (Member # 35692) on :

I don't take as a given the idea that a foot fetish even is something that is "developed" as a result of life experiences (as in the examples give, childhood experiences e.g. near mommy's feet).

I fully believe that like anything else, it can be hard-wired into us genetically. I don't believe there were experiences that "made me" love feet. My earliest memories about feet were about seeing some that I reallllly enjoyed the appearance of (and by contrast I surely saw those that I thought were ugly); and of being extremely self-conscious about my own feet, which I not only thought were not very good-looking (in actuality, they're not super-handsome but not horrible), but also thought everyone would be gawking at.

I really think that my foot fetish was born into me. Anyone else out there feel pretty sure about that as well?

Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :

oh yes indeed, i used to be a total foot fetish pissant when i was a younger lad. then as i grew up and learned teh ways of women, i became more confident and even more dominant sometimes in my relationships.

i do still like feet alot and rather than like them less over the years i feel like i like them even more. i think it is a progression that also elevated with my maturity and becoming a man. love of feet has been a great thing throughout but even way better imo with age and knowledge of oneself.

can't ask for a better gift of growth boiz unless we're talkin bout the nightly growth right underneath my zippers, Hee Hee

Posted by Pjay (Member # 35692) on :

You sure are an odd duck, Tyler. [Tongue]

Posted by ned land (Member # 8065) on :

I can't see any DIRECT relation between my lower self-esteem in my youth and my foot-fetish. I would have to say they are more of a coincidence than anything else.

While I was the second-born and I DID suffer with self-esteem and confidence issues when I was younger, I have been able to overcome most of them at this point in my life. Just being on this board over the past few years has boosted my confidence and the overall way I present myself to others about my fetish.

Now, I'm married and I'm not on the "hunt" for a fresh conquest, but I am able to sort of come out of the closet, so to speak, about my fetish now, even allowing it to "slip out" in cocktail party conversations. Don't get me wrong, I don't wear it on my sleeve, but neither do I hide it any longer. It is no secret among most of my wife's friends and co-workers that I do all her pedicures; now, what they surmise from that, I can only guess.

My self-confidence has matured greatly over the years as well, but I can't find any direct correlation between the two. Maybe I'm not looking at this as introspectively as I should, but that's just how I see it.

Both things appear to have progressed along at a natural and steady pace.

ned

Posted by Janet Mason (Member # 24724) on :

As some one who has has almost 30 years of experience with foot fetishism (I'm 42 now and my first experience with having my feet openly worshiped was at 14 or 15), I have to state emphatically that I have never, ever seen any correlation between self-esteem and the possession or lack of a foot fetish on any level. And, trust me, I have personally known a lot of men with foot fetishes of all levels of intensity, both before going online (boyfriends, hubby Steve, etc.) to over 11 years of being online and not only shooting pics/clips with fans but a also providing private foot worship sessions to guys who don't want to be on camera.

Simply stated, the guys I have met and had personal, direct interaction with who have a foot fetish have ranged from the one extreme of super-hunky, very confident "studs" to the opposite extreme of wormy types with almost no self-esteem at all...with the large majority falling in the middle, just regular guys with healthy self-esteem, regardless of their looks, profession or childhood.

For whatever reason, it seems to be a popular assumption that men who have a foot fetish have low self-esteem. Why, I don't know. Again, in almost 30 years I've seen no evidence that any personality trait or "type" is more or less prone to foot fetishism.

Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :

Definitely a nature vs nurture question.

Many have made interesting points. It's quite possible that the two are not related at all.

My growing more confident and my foot fetish waning could just be part of growing up. With my foot fetish not being dependant on self confidence at all. Interesting coincidence though.

I think the biggest lesson is that foot fetish is far more common than anyone imagined with many possible roots and manifestations.

GQ

Posted by Keyfeet (Member # 27313) on :

i dont think having a foot fetish has anything to do w/ your self esteem. But i do believe that your past and how people treat you definitely does.

Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Keyfeet:
i dont think having a foot fetish has anything to do w/ your self esteem. But i do believe that your past and how people treat you definitely does.

Perhaps i'm reading this wrong....but my question was.....does low self esteem create a foot fetish? Not that a foot fetish creates low self esteem.

Yes, how people treat you can effect one's self esteem.

GQ

Posted by prex69 (Member # 31791) on :

This is a very interesting topic.

Personally, I did have low self-esteem growing up and in many ways still do.

Janet Mason reveals that the spectrum of foot guys is expansive - encompassing men with varying levels of self-confidence.

Low self-esteem may be more related to domination, trample, shoe worship and other degrading activities. Worship has the potential to be a degrading/loving/lustful experience depending on your partner and the relationship established - girlfriend, wife, prostitute/financial agreement.

I've always considered degrading worship to be something unhealthy; personally I like love to go along with my lust, but I understand that the two can and often are separated for a variety of reasons.

Society already associates foot kissing with showing humility before a powerful or respected figure - be it a king, an elder, or a religious leader.

Kissing a woman's foot can mean many things. You could be telling her that you're willing to love even her lowly feet; or that she deserves deference; or simply because she's very dominant and you comply due to your own low self-worth.

Low self-worth is a terrible and crippling affliction that doesn't enhance foot fetishism and only perpetuates the attitude that foot fetishists are despicable, spineless perverts. I can't stand trample material or cock torture or licking dirt off shoes and the like.

Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pjay:
You sure are an odd duck, Tyler.

oh yes indeed and many women have agreed [Big Grin]

Posted by ozboy (Member # 518) on :

If we could continue with this trend, my prediction is that in 5 - 10 years you wont be a foot fetishist anymore....

Posted by blackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :

quote:
Originally posted by prex69:
Low self-worth is a terrible and crippling affliction that doesn't enhance foot fetishism and only perpetuates the attitude that foot fetishists are despicable, spineless perverts.

eh, i've had low self-esteem and a foot fetish for as long as i can remember. they are one in the same to me.

Posted by Elvzz (Member # 14178) on :

I love women put them on a pedestal so I can kiss their feet the goal is to be an ahole so they dt expect it all the time.

Posted by Janet Mason (Member # 24724) on :

quote:
Originally posted by prex69:

Kissing a woman's foot can mean many things. You could be telling her that you're willing to love even her lowly feet; or that she deserves deference; or simply because she's very dominant and you comply due to your own low self-worth.

It also very often means nothing more than that the man in question finds the woman's feet in question to be very sexually attractive and arousing...with no other connotations at all.

The problem with this discussion, as with many in foot fetish forums, is that the large majority of the posters are men and few, if any, are women. All the men can talk about is their own personal feelings and experiences, and then project or extrapolate from those personal feelings and experiences.

On the other hand, a woman who enjoys men with a foot fetish and who has had many, many foot fetish experiences with a wide variety of men has, by definition, a far more objective position from which to discuss male personality types and foot fetishism. And I will repeat again that I have met guys ranging from lowly, wormy types who want me to "degrade" or "humiliate" them with my feet (which is something I am not personally into at all) to super-aggressive, confident, very successful types who still roll over like submissive puppies, their faces glazed over with intense lust, when I stick my feet in their faces. It's more of a purely feminine aesthetic thing for these kinds of guys, who have an abundance of self-esteem (reflected in their open and frank directness about their lust for my feet and their total ease and comfort as they worship them), yet their reactions and desires are the same as anyone else's once my feet are in their faces.

I've even done private foot worship sessions with guys who claim that they don't "really" have a foot fetish but yet they find my feet (and sometimes those of a few select other women) to wield some indescribably powerful hold over them. That they never look at, care for or are aroused by womens feet in general, but mine and a few others drive them to near insanity with desire.

Clearly, someone of the receiving end (a woman) with vast experience with a wide variety of men over a period of many years can confirm that there really is no telling "what type" of man has a foot fetish. All men can do is guess or surmise based on their own lives and what they read in forums. (And as as aside, we have to keep in mind that many guys into feet don't even visit foot fetish forums, much less post on them.)

As one of those experienced women on the receiving end, I can state with full confidence that I know for a fact there is really no way one can "guess" what kind of guy does or does not have the fetish, and that literally every personality type is represented.

[ October 27, 2009, 07:03 PM: Message edited by: Janet Mason ]

Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :

between Janet, Ned, and GQ, it's been a fascinating read [Smile]

each guy is kinda his own story. but the bottom line, self-esteem ties into feet on the basis of you feeling "worthy" enough to approach any one give set of feet. the higher the confidence level, the greater the likelyhood to approach any given one pair of feet.

outside of that, no relations (and that is sorta an echo to what Janet said)

my story.. i was very shy about my feet interest growing up. loosened up a bit in my 20's. i've always been very confident. i've had a dip in my esteem late twenties (long story) and it's now on the rise again.

i've become more open, but don't wear my interest on my sleeves. there are women who know well my interest.. and some let me take pics. others have figured it out and don't mind. being married, now that i'm the most comfy and "expressive" about it...i tend to keep my interest just strictly in my marriage or to myself (lol.....)

the extent of the curiousity has dropped though. i'm more comfy with my interest.. so the hunt is pretty much done.

as for the net... don't hunt on it as much.. just visit for the community aspect.

i've not loaded up a hard-drive.. let alone a flash drive with pics in years!

either way... i'm not seeing a connection to self-esteem and foot fetishism.. but i do have to say, maturiy helps a person be 'cool' about their feelings about feet.

enough rambling by me... great read though

RPM

Posted by feetluvr (Member # 1570) on :

I don't see any correlation either between self esteem and having a foot fetish. And, as others have mentioned, I believe that it can be hard-wired in us (nature) as well as a learned behaviour(nuture). Not being able top recall any younger childhood instances, I believe that it was hard-wired in me.

As far as a replacement for sex I'm on the fence. At times I REALLLY want my wife's feet, want to focus on them and even want to climax on them. At times I don't (and she doesn't either- she's very relational and would quickly put a stop to too many "feet-only" encounters.

The one advantage to being so aroused by feet is that I do use it as a replacement for intercourse is when she doesn't want to have sex. Not long after I disclosed my fetish to her I made it clear that I'm more than happy to satisfy myself with her feet when she's not in the mood (my sex drive is much higher than hers)- something that we've done frequently ever since.

Posted by Drunk_24-7 (Member # 21781) on :

I agree with RPM! Great thread GQ. Great posts all around but especially from Janet! She is bright, beautiful, articulate and awesome! I could read posts from her all day, but I'd much rather spend the time sucking her toes of course!