MIAMI (SP) -- Shortly after leading the Florida Gators to a national championship with a 24-14 win over Oklahoma, junior quarterback Tim Tebow announced that he would skip his senior season and ascend directly into heaven.
Tebow entered the press room to wild applause. A reporter for a 24- hour cable sports network burst into tears when the 2007 Heisman winner entered the room. Another threw a pair of boxer shorts on the podium. Tebow smiled at the gesture and several sports reporters fainted.
"Sorry I'm late," Tebow began. "There was a six-year-old boy with cancer in row 54 and I had to make my way through the crowd to heal him."
"I want to start by saying that playing quarterback for the University of Florida, winning two national championships, has been a great honor. There has been some speculation about my future and I want to clear that up right now," he continued.
"Don't go, Tim!" a reporter shouted from the back of the room.
"After much consideration, I have decided to skip my senior season at the University of Florida and ascend directly into Heaven," Tebow announced. Upon making the announcement, Tebow was bathed in a blinding white light and vanished.
In response to the news, ESPN announced they will have a month-long tribute to Tebow. ESPN2 will now be known as ESPN-TEBOW and will feature Tebow highlights (including home videos of Tebow's childhood), re-airings of past interviews, Tebow-centric analysis by ESPN air personalities, a Tebow quiz show and a reality show to find the "most Tebow-like" person in America.
"He wasn't just the greatest player in college football history," said a college football writer at the press conference, tears streaming down his face. "He might have been the greatest person to ever walk on earth."
Posted by Elvzz (Member # 14178) on :
Not a big FLA fan, their chics are hot tho. But he should go pro and take Detroit for all the cash left from the bailout!
Take it from someone who got injured senior year of HS and had to work my ass off to walk on at the college level - injuries will kill your ride.
Posted by Salvy_Mic (Member # 13384) on :
Figured he'd come back. He's not projected to be an NFL QB for a couple of reasons. Perhaps that extra year in school will let him work on things. The guy's already a legend at the collegiate level. The sort of love and devotion that Peyton Manning got at Tennessee is going to pale in comparison to the sort of adulation Tebow will receive for the rest of his life at Florida.
Posted by Adam X (Member # 2872) on :
He's going the Leinart route.
Much like Leinart his ass will be warming a bench on Sundays 90% of the time.
Posted by Salvy_Mic (Member # 13384) on :
At the very least, Tebow's got the tenacity and drive to work hard and possibly make himself into a good QB. Leinart's just a douche.
Posted by Mikey P (Member # 1922) on :
leinart was projected to go number 1 overall in that draft, alex smith ended up being picked first
tebow is at best a 3rd round pick, that's about a $60 million difference