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Alright, this one goes back to when I was 21 and in college back in '88 or so.
I lived in a high rise campus apartment and down the hall from me was a guy I was kind of pals with that couldn't stand his roommate. He gave his roommate the nickname "Hazel" like the old 60s TV show about the maid due to the fact this guy was always cleaning the apartment and picking up after him. Hazel also had an annoying habit of using a jar of Vaseline for wanking and then leaving a puddle of man jam on the bathroom floor where he missed then toilet and failed to clean up.
He wanted to pull a truly dirty mean spirited trick on the dude and asked me and my roommate for some help. His idea was to set Hazel up with another friend of his and two girls he knows. The girls were to drive the four of them out into this remote location out in the woods near a lake down a private road lit up only by moonlight. The three of us were there waiting for them ahead of time. I had this rather sinister looking Halloween costume monk's robe with a hood and a black executioner's hood which I loaned him. My roommate hid off the road in the woods and I lay down in the middle of the dirt road with the robed guy holding a giant Rambo knife over me.
As the girls drove to the turn in the road with Hazel in the car they stopped the car and began screaming because we didn't exactly tell them everything we were going to do to make it a real surprise. My roommate jumps out of the woods and opens the car door dragging one of the girls out, the guy in the robe runs to the car opens another door and drags the guy out, and I grab the girl driving the car out and get the keys too and we disappear in the woods leaving Hazel in the car by himself.
Moments later we all run out of the woods circling and banging on the roof of the car while Hazel cowers in the seat locking all the doors. Finally Hazel's roommate takes off the mask and lets him know it was a big prank at his expense. We all went to the lake afterwards to have a few beers, but Hazel was truly disappointed because he thought the girl's were going to be a sure thing for him.
My roommate and myself left after one beer and headed home leaving the rest of them behind. The funny thing is Hazel got himself some Kharma justice as his roommate took the girls off in a different car after drinking heavily and they of course wrecked. I remember seeing them in neck braces after the accident. I believe there was a DUI charge as well.
posted
On april fools, many years ago, I called my buddy and told him I was in jail, when I was actually at a girlfriend's house. The plan was he would swing by her place on the way to help me out and I'd jump out and SURPRISE!
Well, before he left, he called the prison and there so happened to be someone with my name in jail for stuff I would conceivably commit. So he told everybody, includng my family, then he came by.
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Today, I tied a rubber band around the spray nozzle in the kitchen sink earlier in the day. While eating, I asked my nephew if he could rinse out my glass for me. As soon as he turned the water on, water sprayed his entire torso. He was completely soaked.
Posts: 3359 | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
Did this one to a roommate years ago. I unscrewed the lightbulb in the bathroom and saran wrapped the toilet. He came in late from a frat party, slurred a few curse words due to the light being "burned out" and then yelled curse words at me when the piss splashed all over his legs.
For a couple of decades, the lake on which I live had a Fish & Game Commissioner who was a crooked and corrupt pain in the ass (e.g. handing out tickets on mimeographed forms and demanding payment on the spot or he'd arrest the hapless boater seizing the boat - at least temporarily).
Eventually, in the early 80's, a couple of my family members fell prey to the SOB in a few separate incidents. I was furious but felt helpless - how does one exact revenge on a governmental employee, especially one who is technically a member of law-enforcement?
Clearly, physical attacks were well beyond the pale and sinking the boat would only cost the tax-payer. The alternative was to sully the man's reputation but, once again, how to accomplish this without being accused of slander or liable? Moreover, it had to be pretty much anonymous or I risked the umbrage of other members of law-enforcement.
One night, while sitting in my father's bar, well past last-call and well into my cups, I hit upon a great idea when I asked myself if my strong interest in porn and extensive knowledge of it could be brought to bear. The solution was came to me very clearly and made me chuckle at first and then I started howling. My drive home was a little feeble, less from the liquor and more from my laughter.
Thanks for sticking with me this long...I'll try to wrap this up fast; I hope you'll enjoy the elegance of my solution:
At the time there was a gay men's magazine that was very graphic; not just the sex but it involved scat and other sordid practices. I wish I could recall the name, very underground, though. A year's subscription was a Prince's Ransom but I ponied-up the money and purchased a year's worth (mail order, of course). I had it mailed to him in his name IN CARE OF HIS NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR.
Many months went by but, eventually, there were rumors...
Posts: 5067 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
These are all great ones ... I don't have a best one but have many minor ones....
-------------------- "When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit" - Dr Emmit L. Brown (Back To The Future) Posts: 7894 | Registered: Jan 2007
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... I don't have a best one but have many minor ones....
