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For all the tattoo fans and haters out there. This is taken from the www.cracked.com website. I am mostly posting this because pretty much everyone under the age of 30 has some kind of "body art" upon their person. When I was young I thought it was exclusive to crotchity old men because both of my grandfathers were thusly adorned with faded splotchy green tattoos they got back in the 1920s.
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Tattoos are reverse time machines: with time travel you can send a warning back to your younger self, with tattoos you send a mistake forward to your older self.
Just The Facts
1. Tattoos theoretically could be thoughtful additions to your appearance. Unfortunately there are thousands of tattoo parlors (many open 24 hours) and people just don't have that many thoughts. So most are stupid. 2. Tattoos are permanent. Your motivation/blood-alcohol level is not. 3. Tattoos are now as edgy as a padded watermelon.
Who gets tattoos?
Tattoos are an excellent way to turn a single drunken decision into a lifetime of disfigurement and regret, which normally requires a car. Tattoos are associated with criminal gangs, the armed forces, and whiny white teenagers desperate for attention. Attempts to get all three to attend a common "Tattoo Conference" have unfortunately failed.
What Your Tattoo Says About You
Before you get a tattoo
There are some important questions to ask before getting a tattoo:
* Have I wanted this for more than five minutes? * Am I, at this particular instant in sidereal time, drunk off my face? * Do the tattoo artist's past works resemble an art class for crash-helmet testers? * I meet the love of my life. I romance them for months, reaching a point where we can communicate our very deepest emotions and feel that we almost share souls (awwww). At this point, can I see myself naked and explaining this tattoo?
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I got one of my old friends from high school to design a tattoo for me, it will be on my back, from shoulder blade to shoulder blade of my family crest with the motto underneath it as well. That tattoo I can not be ashamed of, I will always know that my family has my back.
But I do laugh when I see people get asian "letters"...I proceed to tell them that it says "Beef and Broccoli"...
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posted
HILARIOUS!! As soon as I started reading I LOL'd so hard Starbucks shot out of my nose. It really needed to be brought out in the open. The whole thing is getting WAYYYY out of control. I can't stand the "Tramp Stamp" on the lower back as well. NOT ATTRACTIVE LADIES.
-------------------- "Nina, this is my house, you work for me, and I want to suck your toes." -Big Trouble (2002) Posts: 1855 | Registered: Nov 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Keyfeet: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ is that real?
I would have to say no. Can you imagine the amount of stuff that would get caught in that mess? If it is real, I would think that it would be VERY uncomfortable!
-------------------- It's a sick world, and I'm a happy guy! Posts: 762 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
I have a difficult time wearing a T-shirt with a message on it (especially a Cleveland Indians/Browns logo) as I probably won't have the same strength of conviction by the end of the day. Don't think I could do it for a lifetime.
In the early eighties, shirts with Asian characters were the rage. I explained to a friend that I just wouldn't wear something that probably says "Kick me, I'm a Homo."
Posts: 5067 | Registered: Apr 2005
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The tongue splitting thing is illegal now and has been for a few years. Yikes, I couldn't imagine. :\ But I do see a lot of people doing the implanted jewels all over their body.
Posts: 1039 | Registered: Sep 2009
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quote:Originally posted by ShortLivedTyranny: The tongue splitting thing is illegal now and has been for a few years. Yikes, I couldn't imagine. :\ But I do see a lot of people doing the implanted jewels all over their body.
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