you may have seen in my other posts, im 24 years old and saving myself until marraige to have sex.
i jjust want to know other peoples views on this, and all you people who date, and have sex...seperate...find another partner...have sex - and continue the cycle - how do you do that? dont you have thoughts about sex with the other partners you had?
in my mind i just think i want my first time to be with my husband...so we have a connection there (and also i want him to be a virgin as well - YEAH - help me find a virgin guy) LOL do they still exist on this planet?
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Posted by FtLckr26 (Member # 13998) on :
I still think there are some males out there around 24 years old who are virgins. I was one until I turned 22.
While dating my wife, I never had thoughts of the other women I had sex with while we were having sex. Every now and then they might have popped into my mind, only because something reminded me of them, but it was never a feeling of wanting them back. Thats why I'm with my wife now, because she was the best thing to ever happen to me, and none of those other women, which weren't many, were as special as my wife.
If you want a virgin, I'm sure there's some out there. It may be a little hard to find one, but your patience will pay off. And just cause he's a virgin, doesn't mean he'll be a better person than one who's not. Good luck finding him!
Posted by feetluvr (Member # 1570) on :
quote:Originally posted by Joanne: I'm 24 years old and saving myself until marraige to have sex.
Good for you Joanne! I think that's wonderful!
quote:...all you people who date, and have sex...seperate...find another partner...have sex -and continue the cycle - how do you do that?
I never did. I only had pre-marital sex, with two girls- the first was the girl I dated from 7th grade through our first year of college (both we and everyone else thought sure we would get married, but we drifted apart). The second was my fiance', now my wife, during our engagement- and believe it or not it was her choice to instigate sex, not mine.
We had done nothing besides some heavy-duty kissing since becoming engaged but one night she disrobed herself, laid on the floor, and offered herself to me. I could have said no, but I wasn't that strong. Put simply, I never had sex with anyone I didn't think I was going to be marrying. Kinda the "middle ground" between sleeping with several (or lots) of girls and total abstinence.
I think waiting is an extremely honorable thing to do.
quote:don't you have thoughts about sex with the other partners you had?
I had no thoughts about sex with my first girlfriend while dating and becoming engaged to my wife.
quote:...and also i want him to be a virgin as well - YEAH - help me find a virgin guy) LOL do they still exist on this planet?
They do. My son, who is 22 is still one, and I'm sure there are others. Not alot, but there are others.[/QUOTE]
I'm assuming that you're talking about total abstinence? (No heavy petting, mutual masturbation, etc.)One of the arguments that footguys will make is that we can enjoy feet sexually without intercourse.
Posted by Grey Fox (Member # 5552) on :
Actually, I myself am 24, still a virgin, and am waiting for marriage before I indulge in sex. It's always been my feelings to wait until I do it with my future wife (considering I ever get one at the rate I'm going, that is) so that there is a strong connection between the two of us. So, the answer to your question "do they still exist on this planet?" is...yes, they do, and I'm proof of that.
Posted by babeflover (Member # 2953) on :
Maybe because i'm an atheist or maybe because i just read this post at the wrong time(i'm very angry right now), I think that to get married without getting to know that person well enough is a big mistake, and the reason why 51% of them end up in divorce. People continue to minimize the importance of sex until it is too late. one should live with the other person first, couples should have the chance of getting sick of each other, they should fuck each other silly first, and if they still want to be with each other, then and only then, they should get married.
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
I find it funny when a foot fetishist that would rather indulge in feet than have sex says they're abstaining from sex. They're just not into sex. The true measure of thier virtue would be for them to abstain from feet too. But that's the pot calling the kettle jet black. I enjoy sex and have had many partners since getting over my foot fetish and enjoying other aspects of sexuality. I too was alot like some here that are virgins. Pretty convenient for me to stay a virgin because I wanted feet more anyway. I realized that I was being selfish though when I had my first love. I was happy with her feet and the other things she did to me. But was she happy? Not so much. So thats how I had sex for the first time. Even at 19 I felt like the last person on earth. Many women later I enjoy sex and I see it as what you make of it. Sometimes I have sex with women I really care about and I make sure to take care of them while we're in bed. Other times it's just for fun and I don't know her last name. I find that the more sex you have the better one gets at it. As for the sexes there is a bit of a double standard. Women who have multiple partners are looked down upon while men that do aren't exactly lauded by women...but i've never missed out on a date because I was pretty good with women. Isn't it funny that women are usually always attracted to the guys that have the most sex as opposed to the guys that don't. Someday i'll get married and on that night my wife and I will have a blast. I know she'll be the last woman I sleep with and every other woman before her was just practice. We have a lifetime together....luckliy i've been training for many years to keep her on her toes till we're old ;o) GQguy
Posted by A&F_FootDude_05 (Member # 2999) on :
Joanne....I'm being brutally honest...I'm a 24-year-old male who happens to be a virgin, saving myself until marriage also
Yes, they do exist out there!!
Posted by You (Member # 2107) on :
quote:Originally posted by babeflover: Maybe because i'm an atheist or maybe because i just read this post at the wrong time(i'm very angry right now), I think that to get married without getting to know that person well enough is a big mistake, and the reason why 51% of them end up in divorce. People continue to minimize the importance of sex until it is too late. one should live with the other person first, couples should have the chance of getting sick of each other, they should fuck each other silly first, and if they still want to be with each other, then and only then, they should get married.
i couldnt agree more, makes perfect sense. i´m not exactly an atheist but i know i will never get married...not because of the commitment, i´ve been 100% commited to someone before
Posted by longhitter04 (Member # 2391) on :
God bless the guys that can stay virgins until their 20's. There was no way in hell I would have been able to do that. The urge was SOOOO great that it was almost uncontrollable. From my first time at 15 till now... when I get that urge, I HAVE to have it.
I agree with babeflover on this one. In my opinion, the sex life of a couple is VERY important. I myself could not imagine marrying a woman I've never slept with, then find out that the sex is not that great. One of the key ingredients to a happy marriage is a good and healthy sex life, and you don't know if you have that until you've actually had sex with each other. You can be 100% compatible on an emotional level, but if you're not compatible on a physical level you're in for a rough time.
Sex to me is just a healthy human desire. Nothing more, nothing less. I would much rather prefer that a woman gives me her pure heart, than her pure vagina.
[ December 07, 2007, 04:28 PM: Message edited by: longhitter04 ]
Posted by RJ82 (Member # 20037) on :
quote:Originally posted by Joanne: - YEAH - help me find a virgin guy) LOL do they still exist on this planet?
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right here my dear!!
course i really wish that wasn't the case but ya know Posted by LeDaemon (Member # 198) on :
quote:Originally posted by babeflover: Maybe because i'm an atheist or maybe because i just read this post at the wrong time(i'm very angry right now), I think that to get married without getting to know that person well enough is a big mistake, and the reason why 51% of them end up in divorce. People continue to minimize the importance of sex until it is too late. one should live with the other person first, couples should have the chance of getting sick of each other, they should fuck each other silly first, and if they still want to be with each other, then and only then, they should get married.
X - 3!!!
Many folks put the "save it for marriage" bit on such a pedestal. I'm a believer in practicing safe sex whenever YOU personally are ready for it. That means having the maturity and responsibility to deal with the consequences of what can be the outcome of exchanging bodily fluids between friends. I truly think the longer someone waits it out for "the right one" and the honeymoon night the more unsure of them self they can become.
For example I work with a 26 year old woman (only woman in age she has the mental capacity of maybe a 13 year old) that wears a "purity" ring and is as naive to sex and most things in general. Surprisingly she lives with several roommates and not at home with her parents that live 1000 miles away. She basically can't make any decision for herself until she prays on it first. She believes that god tells her what's best for her on everything she prays about. Which means he has given her a lot of fucked up information in the past, but she still finds him infallible! At her age she hasn't had a serious boyfriend ever. She is really nice looking (with cute little feet as well) but she hasn't developed that bit of maturity that I think comes with having a serious and intimate relationship.
Personally I played house with my wife for 5 years before we got legally married. I had sexual relationships before her and no hangups about that first sexual encounter since I was a teen when I got my first experience. I don't believe in just sleeping around with anyone and everyone. I think sex should be reserved for someone that you really care about (maybe its only for a really short time...) and if you are taking precautions to prevent an unwanted pregnancy.
The only persons I think that should have any reason to wait for sex until marriage are women in 3rd world countries that get a "hymen inspection" on their wedding night to make sure they are pure. Woe to the one that had her cherry prematurely popped and is sentenced to buried to her neck and stoned.
Posted by Joanne (Member # 24406) on :
thanks all for your input...glad to know there are virgin guys out there too. SO NICE :- )
i just dream of marrying the right guy, then having my first sex (and his first sex) on the honeymoon - thats my dream - and that sex lasts all night long, making love and everything else :- )
well about touching (other than sex) well ive never kissed a guy before, never even seen a guy naked before...never dated in that sense....so you get the picture.
i want my first everything to be with my husband.
Posted by You (Member # 2107) on :
i wanted to say something else to you Joanne but i think i wont. i hope everything will turn out just as you dream it.
Posted by tootsylover (Member # 4584) on :
quote:Originally posted by Joanne: (and also i want him to be a virgin as well - YEAH - help me find a virgin guy) LOL do they still exist on this planet?
lol well I'm a 28.5 year old virgin guy...never had a girlfriend dated or even kissed/made out (and yeah no "foot action" either).
I have no plans on ever getting married at this point so am not holding out for that...I would really rather wait to meet a girl that I CARE about to lose it to though. I keep hearing "well go down to Nevada and lose it to a prostitute or just some random girl at a party and get it over with." What would have been the point of waiting this long though just to lose it on a one-night fling is my problem with that...plus it would seem like it would be a lot more enjoyable with someone I knew and cared about.
Oh well...just thought I would throw my 2 cents in. Posted by RJ82 (Member # 20037) on :
quote:Originally posted by tootsylover:
quote:Originally posted by Joanne: (and also i want him to be a virgin as well - YEAH - help me find a virgin guy) LOL do they still exist on this planet?
lol well I'm a 28.5 year old virgin guy...never had a girlfriend dated or even kissed/made out (and yeah no "foot action" either).
holy shit dude you sound like me except i'm 25 Posted by octoberbaseball (Member # 20977) on :
To: Joanne and everyone else: this is a very interesting topic. As for myself I am 20 years old and I am a virgin. My choice is due to religious reasoning. I'm Catholic and I don't consider to be that religious but this is something that I do follow. I say that I want to have sex after marriage and that's just a decision of mine. The negative part would be the first time I do it will I be good? I follow that but I feel bad because I have had oral sex in the past and it turned out to be with someone who was cheating on her significant other, so I hate playing the oh it was just oral so it doesn't count game. I could have had sex with that lady that night and she really wanted me to, but I turned her down. As for the first kiss, Joanne, you said that you hope it happens with your husband. I don't even know you but I really hope you have a great first kiss. Others may think of it as nothing but the first really is special (or maybe I overrate it) My first kiss happened with a girl who turned out just used me for a one night stand sort of thing. Weeks later she moved onto another co-worker to make out with. Honestly I probably like making out better than anything sexual. When I was with her I probably could have had sex with her, but I thought like kissing was romantic and special, so I didn't make any sexual advance. Joanne, I really wish you all the best because I feel as if I'm in the same boat. I would like to have a wife who is a virgin, I'm not big on the dating scene and I look for a lot in a female.
Posted by Karas (Member # 23934) on :
Me personally I don't see anything wrong with sex out of marriage. As long as your responsible and don't allow your lust to harm others and don't over indulge it there is nothing wrong with it.
Posted by Sabbath (Member # 4844) on :
I understand that people have different religious points of view but.. what happens let's say.. it's a true story, you're a 24 year old girl saving herself for marriage you meet a guy that seems quite nice, then you fall in love with him, marry him, and then it turns out that the sex is not good.. what happens then? I presume everything else starts falling apart
Posted by Joanne (Member # 24406) on :
quote:i wanted to say something else to you Joanne but i think i wont.
please dont hold back and just write what you want to tell me
quote:lol well I'm a 28.5 year old virgin guy...never had a girlfriend dated or even kissed/made out (and yeah no "foot action" either).
thank you, your such an inspiration, really, you are. i dont want to lose it on a one night stand either. i cant understand people who want to have sex just for a one off - thats crazy.
and thanks octoberbaseball - your story is understandable - and i love that you are saving yourself for marraige - mine is not religious or anything - its just MY ethics. alot og girls have sex with they are in "love" - then they breakup and have sex with somoneone else who they are in "love" with - and the cycle goes on - i dont think i can do that - marriage is a commitment.
quote:let's say.. it's a true story, you're a 24 year old girl saving herself for marriage you meet a guy that seems quite nice, then you fall in love with him, marry him, and then it turns out that the sex is not good.. what happens then? I presume everything else starts falling apart
well in my eyes, i had waited for the right person (as opposed to a one night stand or dating) - got married (commitment) then had sex. okay so if sex is not good - we can get sex therapy classes (or whatever you call them LOL) and work together.
[ December 09, 2007, 05:35 PM: Message edited by: Joanne ]
Posted by octoberbaseball (Member # 20977) on :
Thanks Joanne, 2 things. 1. About the one night stand, I had my first kiss as a one night stand, and it was definitely with the wrong person. I feel bad about it even though it was like a year ago and many would say it was only a kiss. Something like that to me I wish could have been a special moment, even though they say that people move on. 2. About your ethics, I give you a lot of credit because I think you are a rare type. I only wish there were more girls out there like you. If I was attracted to a girl or even if any advances were to happen with any of my friends I would feel weird kissing her or even making out with her due to her past. It would be odd for me to kiss or have sex with someone who I knew kissed someone else in the past. Almost like my mouth where another guy's mouth has been.
Posted by You (Member # 2107) on :
quote:Originally posted by octoberbaseball: It would be odd for me to kiss or have sex with someone who I knew kissed someone else in the past. Almost like my mouth where another guy's mouth has been.
wow i dont even know where to begin.
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
quote:Originally posted by You:
quote:Originally posted by octoberbaseball: It would be odd for me to kiss or have sex with someone who I knew kissed someone else in the past. Almost like my mouth where another guy's mouth has been.
wow i dont even know where to begin.
Life is without a doubt passing you by my friend. A kiss is like a hug a handshake it's just more intimate. I use kisses to express and share emotion. It could be a kiss on the forehead when I see my pop after being deployed, a kiss for a baby after admiring how cute she is or a kiss for a girl whom I got along with very well for the night. Funny, kissing exist in 95% of the cultures world wide and from that same study I learned that women gauge compatability from that first kiss. Something tells me you're not abstaining from kissing, but rather not interacting with women on romantic level at all. Kissing is so natural, it just happens.
I love irony! A foot guy that won't kiss a woman because he's concerned with where her mouth has been. GQguy
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Isn't it funny that women are usually always attracted to the guys that have the most sex as opposed to the guys that don't.
That's why I don't like women much. They're pathetic hypocrites who pretend to have certain morals when they really don't. That's ok though. I'm glad I no longer have anyone on a pedestal. Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever fall in love again as I simply don't respect women enough.
Posted by Joanne (Member # 24406) on :
octoberbaseball
you are like a mirror of my mind!!!! - i too want a guy who has never kissed before, or done anything before - because i think i would wonder what he did with someone else before me...i thought iwas the only one who thought like this...but i was wrong
THANK YOU!!!!!
Posted by LeDaemon (Member # 198) on :
quote:Originally posted by DeadGoon: That's why I don't like women much. They're pathetic hypocrites who pretend to have certain morals when they really don't. That's ok though. I'm glad I no longer have anyone on a pedestal. Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever fall in love again as I simply don't respect women enough.
Oh my... Woman broke your heart? Now its time to learn how to swallow a choad!
I never bought into putting anyone up on a pedestal, but I've certainly not made a blanket generalization like you have. Not everyone is going to act the same.
Someone also mentioned the kissing taboo a few posts up. I'm beginning to really think some folks are a bit too wound tight here! I guess these past ultra conservative 7 years in the U.S. has truly affected many folks outlook towards even something as showing affection with a friendly kiss.
I gotta move to a new thread....
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
quote:Originally posted by DeadGoon:
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Isn't it funny that women are usually always attracted to the guys that have the most sex as opposed to the guys that don't.
That's why I don't like women much. They're pathetic hypocrites who pretend to have certain morals when they really don't. That's ok though. I'm glad I no longer have anyone on a pedestal. Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever fall in love again as I simply don't respect women enough.
Women are great! Yes thier words don't always match thier actions. But attraction is not your choice. I'd love to say i'd rather be with the intellectual nice girl type and looks aren't all that important, but look at my track record. I'd be a hypocrite. But I can't choose who i'm attracted to. Women like guys with "balls", it's as simple as that. Nice guys willing to buy dinner and give foot rubs are a dime a dozen. Can you be a cool guy with balls tha isn't afraid to stand up to his woman and stand up for his woman? Are you comfotable inyour own skin? There you go. Listen to what women say, but listen even more carefully to what they do. Thier actions will tell you the type of man they want. As for a woman wanting guy that has never kissed before I find that interesting. I remember my first real kiss haha. I was in college 18 a virgin and clueless! I had this hot sophmore come down to hangout and watch a movie with me one saturday night. She didn't leave till 6am and we did nothing lol. She might have sat in my lap. Anyway when she was leaving she pulled down on my neck and kissed me. Basically I had no clue what to do and how to take the lead. Not sexy or attractive. Cute, but I highly doubt she was smoking a cigarette after she left my dorm. There are certain things a man needs to learn before he settles don to keep things interesting.
Joanne. When you do choose to kiss a guy I assure you your brain might want to choose the guy with zero experience but your body will respond far better to the guy that has practiced before that moment. Best of luck in finding what you want.
GQguy
Posted by octoberbaseball (Member # 20977) on :
Maybe it depends, I have thought maybe I should practice sex or kissing in case I get with someone who I really like. My first kiss was actually no problem at all.
Posted by Karas (Member # 23934) on :
I hate to be the bearer of bad news on the topic, but after reading this, too much emphasis is placed on waiting for the "one" and expecting it to be this grand moment of bonding and perfection but it's not. This ain't the Matrix. It's sex. Plain and simple. The biggest sex organ is the mind. You can have great passionate sex with the person you have been waiting for, or not. Whoever you really really fall in love and the chemistry you have will determine the good sex and the love. Love can come and go and replace and take everything in the blink of an eye.
Did you ever think about divorce? Hate to say it but it is a real factor to consider in a marriage. Who ever says that will never happen will probably have it happen to them. So, what if you lose your partner and are new to dating again, but only having been with one partner. That puts you at a HUGE disadvantage and the reason is that you dont know shit about yourself and your own sexualtiy at this point. So what do you do when you find someone you really like but they want someone who is a virgin like them? You hope they understand or your out of luck.
Dating is a trial and error process and going through it you learn about yourself. Sex is the same way. You learn about it and your relation to it.
Waiting till marriage sounds nice and prefect and special. Especially being with someone who has never done anything also. It makes it into a learning experience for you to bond and grow together, which is the pipe dream. If you really love this person, you will find that your relationship will bond on SO many deeper levels that sex seems trivial.
But its still important. And for waiting for someone unexperienced it sounds like you might want to look at yourself Joanne and your own level off comfort and security. If your worrying about what they did with someone else before you. it would be wise to look at yourself first cause your head not in the right spot. Its ok to be nervous with about not having no experience. But a child tries to walk and falls many times before they get it right. So what if there is a learning curve. Thats all part of life.
Posted by Karas (Member # 23934) on :
And last thing! I lose my virginity when I was 23. I'm 28 now. The reason I held off initially was for marriage. I later realized that i was really putting it up on a pedestal.
Posted by longhitter04 (Member # 2391) on :
quote:Originally posted by Karas: Whoever you really really fall in love and the chemistry you have will determine the good sex and the love.
That's not always accurate. I've had bad sex with girls that I really had feelings for, and I've had mind blowing sex with girls I didn't like.
Love does not determine sexual chemistry.
Posted by Karas (Member # 23934) on :
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