I think I have a right to be freaked out, cuz the fact of the matter is that I cant seem to get ANY girl. i talk to young & old, hot & fugy, bony & fat, but no girl is interested in nor comfortable with me. i'm losing touch with reality. any one around me seems to be attracting women and getting a girlfriend, but as for me, i'm the creepy guy. No women means no feet for me. i'm in Hell.
Posted by Elvzz (Member # 14178) on :
Don't U run the Amateur Greek Feet clips store and the related Image store? U know you have game to even land one of them?
Gotta get back to your roots.
Lemme make aure this is you before I get all Buddhist on ya! lol
Posted by footfella2000 (Member # 705) on :
ela re apo pio meros tis elladas eise?
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
quote:Originally posted by GimmeFeet: i'm losing touch with reality. any one around me seems to be attracting women and getting a girlfriend, but as for me, i'm the creepy guy.
You've just found the solution to your own problem with that statement, especially the last part.
I think you need to recalibrate the situations when you're interacting with women. Obviously, there's something there that makes you come off as desperate, needy, insecure, etc.. You might be saying something or acting a certain way that women are picking up on and they can smell the desperation on you. This is a very unattractive quality to have as a guy. Women rolls their eyes and totally dismiss guys who have this needy and desperate feel to them and will run in the other direction. If it's not in your words that you're saying then, for sure, it's definitely in your actions and body language.
I once heard someone say when it comes to women, "Those that don't look hungry always get fed." This statement is so damn true and is a real eye opener when you come from the standpoint of abundance rather than scarcity. If you think that no woman likes you and there's a shortage of women, guess what? There will be a shortage of women in your life! Keep in mind that there are billions of women running around on the planet right now. Even if you weed out those that are displaced geographically, not in your age bracket and maybe not to your liking in looks, that's still thousands of women to potentially choose from.
If you want to get over this, then you need to not act so desperate. Get some confident body language would be the first place to start. Stop thinking there's a shortage of women available to you because, in reality, there's not. Also, stop acting like you're going out with the specific purpose to "get a woman" or "get a woman's feet". Again, your intent will mirror your actions and you'll come off as "creepy" to a lot of women. Lay back, act normal and don't expect anything to happen and just have fun with women by cracking jokes on them and busting on them as if they're your good friend rather than a potential sexual conquest.
If you come from the point of desperation and scarcity, women will sense it. If you come from the point of abundance, then you'll automatically be more comfortable and won't give off that desperate vibe.
Posted by You (Member # 2107) on :
quote:Originally posted by Elvzz: Don't U run the Amateur Greek Feet clips store and the related Image store? U know you have game to even land one of them?
Gotta get back to your roots.
Lemme make aure this is you before I get all Buddhist on ya! lol
that would be Gimme different guy heh
Posted by John Michaels (Member # 4576) on :
read stuff like "The Game" by Neil Strauss, and "Double Your Dating" by David DeAngelo, their stuff turned me from an 11th grade loser into the college winner I am now.
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
quote:Originally posted by John Michaels: read stuff like "The Game" by Neil Strauss, and "Double Your Dating" by David DeAngelo, their stuff turned me from an 11th grade loser into the college winner I am now.
I second that.
Posted by bluetoelover (Member # 14736) on :
Just dont think about it...sounds stupid I know. But the more you focus on it the more you "act like the creepy guy". Just go with the flow and in time they will come. For example... if you are going out to a club,start out the night with a mindset of getting drunk,having a good time etc.. that is when you will pick up...if you go into the night saying to yourself "Gotta get laid, gotta get laid" you will try to hard and make mistakes. It happens every time...trust me I know because I have been "that guy"...
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
quote:Originally posted by John Michaels: read stuff like "The Game" by Neil Strauss, and "Double Your Dating" by David DeAngelo
I totally agree with this suggestion. And there's various other "seduction community" training material or bootcamps as well (Mystery Method and/or RSD are also great).
I took a personal investment in pursuing this knowledge back in mid-2003 & onward and I went from bad creepy to good creepy in no time, LOL!
Now I am able to convince lots of chics (often brand new strangers) to pull off the kinkiest weirdest bizarre feet acts with me and they are cool with it, which I mostly owe to my training.
A good understanding of that knowledge will work wonders for any AFC
Woman often aren't looking for some guy who has a few gimicks, lines, or random spells that they cast. Instead a woman will assess a man by what she percieves to be his overall behavior. With that said, you really have to modify your behavior at the core to pull off consistent success with women.
Attraction can actually be triggered, and often times in the least suspecting ways (to those who don't know how it's done). Fate111 gave some good examples of how to get there.
[ December 31, 2007, 03:37 PM: Message edited by: Tyler D. ]
Posted by cs (Member # 9338) on :
neurolinguistic programming. learn it. It helps you sell you...or anything for that matter.
Posted by Elvzz (Member # 14178) on :
I think a great idea would be to have a reality show like "The Pickup Artist." But for feet. Wonder if Spice channel or some other would bite? Hmmm...
Posted by GimmeFeet (Member # 13817) on :
Thanks, you all. there is some great advice said here, and i can already feel myself getting better. keep 'em coming.
Posted by John Michaels (Member # 4576) on :
dallaspua.com is a superb site to learn about PUAing, but its not a fetish forum so you best be DL about it on that site
Posted by ozboy (Member # 518) on :
Fate111 - Fucken awesome post man !! ur a genious and u sprout great wisdom !! Man I'm also in the same boat as Gimmee; just cant seem to get the chiks and I think my problem is as u've stated - I come accross desperate. Man a gem of a post thanks man...
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
quote:Originally posted by GimmeFeet: I think I have a right to be freaked out, cuz the fact of the matter is that I cant seem to get ANY girl. i talk to young & old, hot & fugy, bony & fat, but no girl is interested in nor comfortable with me. i'm losing touch with reality. any one around me seems to be attracting women and getting a girlfriend, but as for me, i'm the creepy guy. No women means no feet for me. i'm in Hell.
describe how you normally approach women
Posted by A&F_FootDude_05 (Member # 2999) on :
Gimmefeet: You have to become comfortable with yourself, then you will find you will become comfortable with everyone else, and then you'll get your women....and their feet...and everything will be just peachy Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
quote:Originally posted by ozboy: Fate111 - Fucken awesome post man !! ur a genious and u sprout great wisdom !! Man I'm also in the same boat as Gimmee; just cant seem to get the chiks and I think my problem is as u've stated - I come accross desperate. Man a gem of a post thanks man...
Thanks, ozboy. I wouldn't call myself a genius or anything. This stuff is out there to learn, as the other posters here have eluded to (i.e. Mystery, David DeAngelo, etc.). I'm merely giving advice based on what I've learned through doing my homework and seeing material by these dating guys and pick up artists. It totally changed my way of thinking when it comes to women. I can look back now on situations when things didn't work between me and a girl and point out exactly what I did wrong, whereas I was totally clueless before when I got the response in the past from a girl or two that went along the lines of "It's not you, it's me".
The thing is that these guys who have that kind of stuff out there are not just about "pick up lines". Pick up lines in and of themselves won't work with women. It's not about the words. You have to totally own who you are and be confident and comfortable with yourself. The pick up guys teach you how to be that as well with body language and also changing your mindframe on the way you look at things.
Posted by ozboy (Member # 518) on :
I'm actually going to acquire the book suggested here "The game" it sounds interesting..
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
"The Game" is an interesting read. It does give you the names of the guys who have since come into prominence in the whole "pickup" and dating scene who would now be considered experts in the field. The story revolves around a guy named "Style" and his dealings with Mystery and how Style hooked up with Mystery, got involved in pickup and the results of that meeting. Believe it or not, it's not all that glorious and pretty. While the story does give a little insight as to some the techniques these guys use, it's not the book that tells it all as far as actual "game" goes. I've done research on this material (i.e. women & attraction) for the last couple of years and have some background in looking at this stuff so I didn't have too many problems knowing what they were talking about when listing different "routines" in the book, for the most part.
If you're serious about wanting to learn some things in this area, I would suggest looking up any of the guys listed in the prior posts. They all have products available online that you can check out and delve into at various levels. Some are inexpensive or moderately inexpensive, and some are a bit more pricey. They all have their different methods of teaching, which goes to show there's more than one way to gain the end result, but there are some basic tenets that are similar in each of their methods.
The thing that I find cool is that this stuff is not about "seduction" or trying to talk the pants (or panties) off of women. What these guys teach is a mindset that the majority of guys don't have when they go out "on the hunt" for women. Once you develop that mindset, you'll already be quite a few steps ahead of most guys out there who think logically when to comes to women and attraction, since the process is actually quite illogical.
As I mentioned before, this stuff is more about your attitude, your confidence and your mindset, rather than about some sort of "clever line" to use when you're talking to women. The best "line" in the world (if there really is such a thing, which, from what I've seen, there isn't one) will make you fall flat on your face if you don't deliver it in the proper manner. It's more about the internal stuff inside you - i.e. the stuff that you can control, your feelings, your emotions, your intent and mindset - than it is about the external - i.e. the women and your surroundings and things you can't control. Which, when you think about it, really makes sense.
Posted by GimmeFeet (Member # 13817) on :
Thank you, Fate111! I thank all of you! We're all fellow foot brothers, and we deserve all the female feet we want, because we stick together!!
Posted by ozboy (Member # 518) on :
yes thanks Fate for your knowledge, all this stuff is really quite intriguing. I think at the end of the day "Nice guys dont get laid"...
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
quote:Originally posted by ozboy: yes thanks Fate for your knowledge, all this stuff is really quite intriguing. I think at the end of the day "Nice guys dont get laid"...
Well said, ozboy.
I spent some time back when I was completely clueless about this on any level and came up with a theory that went something like, "Girls like guys who are assholes." I find this to still be true. However, I think most guys really don't want to go to that extreme and act like a complete jerk (in a bad way) to get a girl. There are ways to "push a woman's buttons", so to speak, that conveys the right message to a woman that the guy she's dealing with is strong (and I don't mean physically strong, but strong in character) and a challenge to her, which are very attractive qualities for any guy to have when it comes to dealing with women, but doesn't compromise his principles. The key is to develop that mindset of being a strong person and knowing how to respond when a woman begins testing you on that level.
Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
Fate111's first post was especially good. I'd like to reiterate it from a different angle: A great sage (well, OK, it was my father - who could have easily drunk the "Rat Pack" under the table and driven them home on his way to work) once said, "The best parties are the ones you don't plan." The truth of this takes some time to sink in and makes some fundamental assumptions. To wit (oh, man! I love when I can throw in some older English): You are an honorable person and you are comfortable in your own skin.
Stop trying to make something happen. Don't try to read someone's mind; in other words, don't guess at hidden messages because they aren't there. Stop trying to force conditions.
This is nearly reaching a Zen sort of approach. Expect nothing, knowing that, in this way, you will not be disappointed. This is something you cannot MAKE happen. You must LET it happen.
Relax. Just be yourself. When the time is right, you don't even have to know it, it will tell you.
So much for quoting my ancestors.
As a comic wished, that desperation would actually make one attractive............It does just the opposite
Posted by Brandy's Foot Slave (Member # 20905) on :
Honestly, Confidence Bro...Confidence. Girls don't like dudes who don't like themselves, I know I've been there learn to like yourself...man I sound like Dr. Phil
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
Hmmm. What about dudes like me? I don't really have a low self esteem but am quite introverted and quiet. Is this always a bad thing? Or can you be confident and introverted at the same time without complications?
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
quote:Originally posted by DeadGoon: Or can you be confident and introverted at the same time without complications?
perhaps there is, but I think there's a higher chance that you'll leave her with the perception that you're unconfident by being introverted.
...generally not a good thing unless you're a subbie already getting some foot punishment.
Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
Confidence and introversion aren't mutually exclusive. I can't recall any character that Clint Eastwood played that could be called "gregarious"; that "Rambo" guy wasn't much of a talker but I would say that he was, at least, self-possessed. Please, don't misunderstand me, I recognize that those are Hollywood creations and not role models suited to the real world; nor am I suggesting that you go to a party to lift heavy things or punch somebody's lights out.
What I am trying to say is that women are keen observers and judge less on what is said and more by behavior. Introversion is not glancing away when eye-contact is made (that's just plain shyness), there is nothing that prevents a warm smile at that moment - a steely, unblinking glare, however, might not be the best thing, either. If she holds your gaze, go over and simply say hello (there's nothing in the introvert's rule-book that forbids this). Let her do the talking...you need only appear to be listening - introverts tend to take some time for consideration before they respond to questions.
As an introvert, you don't have to talk much but what you say had better show some thought. All that is really required is that you are comfortable in the 6-7 cubic feet of air that you occupy.
Don't dress-up your shyness as introversion (if that's the case). Remember that it is true that you can't lose a race if you don't run...but you don't stand a chance of winning, either.
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
Well. I can admit that I am shy to a certain extent. But not much. Some of it stems from being an introvert though and feeling nervous about how my quiet nature will affect people. I mainly feel that way because people HAVE reacted badly to it. A lot of people deem it weird or unusual. So along with my introversion I do get nervous about making people feel uncomfortable. Other than that I'm mostly at peace with it.
I'm just hoping to deal with it in a way that works in my favour. Your Hollywood examples were kinda good at highlighting how the "silent type" can be made into a positive in a sense. It HAS worked for me on the VERY rare occasion.
Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
I've thought about what you say about yourself, DeadGoon. Will try to get it in if my computor will just obey me. Problems. Gotta go.
Posted by Mighty Mike (Member # 1922) on :
quote:Originally posted by Toetapper: Confidence and introversion aren't mutually exclusive. I can't recall any character that Clint Eastwood played that could be called "gregarious"; that "Rambo" guy wasn't much of a talker but I would say that he was, at least, self-possessed. Please, don't misunderstand me, I recognize that those are Hollywood creations and not role models suited to the real world; nor am I suggesting that you go to a party to lift heavy things or punch somebody's lights out.
What I am trying to say is that women are keen observers and judge less on what is said and more by behavior. Introversion is not glancing away when eye-contact is made (that's just plain shyness), there is nothing that prevents a warm smile at that moment - a steely, unblinking glare, however, might not be the best thing, either. If she holds your gaze, go over and simply say hello (there's nothing in the introvert's rule-book that forbids this). Let her do the talking...you need only appear to be listening - introverts tend to take some time for consideration before they respond to questions.
As an introvert, you don't have to talk much but what you say had better show some thought. All that is really required is that you are comfortable in the 6-7 cubic feet of air that you occupy.
Don't dress-up your shyness as introversion (if that's the case). Remember that it is true that you can't lose a race if you don't run...but you don't stand a chance of winning, either.
good post
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
Ah who am I kidding! I have no personality anyways. Thank god I have my games though Posted by Sabbath (Member # 4844) on :
I'm loving this post, do you know where can I find the books for free? I dont own a credit card now, so I cant buy things over the internet. I dont really have many problems picking up girls, but I'd sure like to become an expert hahaha My problem seriously is that I find myself too many times within the friend circle and you all know its pretty hard from there, I've missed many opportunities of finding a nice girl because of this. Even if female friends sometimes do let me play with their feet a little bit, it is pretty rare. I'd like to get it more often
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
The fact that people have reacted badly to your introversion, DeadGoon, and that it made people feel uncomfortable kind of tells me that you're probably not comfortable with yourself in those situations. That, in turn, makes other people uncomfortable being there with you.
I'm thinking you first have to come to grips with who you are as a person and be fine with that. Second of all, it shouldn't, and doesn't, matter what anyone else thinks about who you are. Speaking for myself, I'm more of an introverted person and the way I've dealt with it is to push the envelop by making some conversation in a situation that maybe, under normal circumstances, I wouldn't normally make conversation, just as an example. Like anything you do that's out of your element, it feels a little weird at first but it does get easier the more you do it. The more confidence you feel, the more comfortable you are with yourself. Even if you are introverted, you can still come across as confident by being comfortable with who you are.
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
different guy heh
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)