Hey guys. You might remember my previous topic. Well here's an update.
So basically, my boyfriend came to visit on Saturday night. I had given myself a pedicure, made sure my feet were looking all pretty with nice painted pink toenails etc, and I was really looking forward to it.
So, we hadn't seen each other in a few weeks and so we pretty much had sex straightaway. There was a bit of foot action. Nothing major. Just sucking my toes, licking etc. But I kinda gave him a look as if to say, "Yeah I get it, I like it". If you get me.
Anyway... so afterwards, we're lying in bed and I tried to strike up a conversation about the whole thing. Because at the end of the day, I just want to understand him more and find out what he likes and doesn't like specifically. I mean if I don't know what he likes then how can I do it? But to cut a long story short he said that he didn't have a foot fetish. I was like.... "What?" I think that it's obvious he does. He then said that he likes MY feet, but that's it. It's not a general thing. It's not like he looks at any other girl's feet. And he said "It's not a fetish". He also said (and please don't get offended by this guys) that "it's not a fetish, a fetish is like when you're obsessed by it and you think about it all the time". And I was like, "No, it doesn't mean that at all". It was really frustrating.
Some of the texts he has sent me and things we have done (ie. foot jobs etc.) so obviously suggest he has a fetish for feet. And I am SO fine with it. I'm more than fine with it. I am a very sexual myself, and I think it's brilliant that he has something specific and a bit different that turns him on. I just wanted to tell him that not only am I ok with it, I'm willing to participate and enjoy it with him. So why can't he just be cool with that??! Lots of people on this forum ave talked about being scared to break it to a girl that they have a foot fetish. I have the opposite problem! He also suggested that he was drunk the few times those things happened. It's so frustrating. I think maybe he's embarassed and doesn't realise how common it is to have a foot fetish. What should I do!!??
Laura xx
Posted by You (Member # 2107) on :
yeah i think he is kinda embarrased to just admit it...maybe the fact that you kinda asked him about it made him feel on the spotlight. My advice would be.... hmmm maybe dont mention anything for a while and wait for him to bring it up verbally or phisically heh
Posted by dougiezerts (Member # 6829) on :
I think he's in denial, too. A real shame.
Posted by A&F_FootDude_05 (Member # 2999) on :
I don't think he truly realizes how content you are with him having a foot fetish. As simple as this sounds, try to initiate him to do stuff with your feet. Instead of questioning his foot fetish, talk to him with the assumption that he has one. Initiate some foot activity with him and see how he acts. If it just comes down to it, tell him what you're telling us how sincerely cool you are with him having a foot fetish. Good luck and keep us posted!
Posted by thosetoes (Member # 2489) on :
he's probably one of those guys that has a foot fetish, but doesn't call it that. There are plenty of people who refuse to be labeled as a foot fetishist. Simply more of a foot lover
Posted by High_Arch_Analyst (Member # 28756) on :
quote:Originally posted by High_Arch_Analyst: [QUOTE]Originally posted by thosetoes: [qb] he's probably one of those guys that has a foot fetish, but doesn't call it that. There are plenty of people who refuse to be labeled as a foot fetishist. Simply more of a foot lover
I'm one of them. I'm not obessesed with feet. I could be happy not engaging in foot fetish activites. I definitely think feet can be hot, and occasionally like to indulege a perfect pair. However, I find women's feet gross me out about as much as they turn me on, if not more. There are some ugly feet out there.
Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
"In Vino Veritas"...I'm working backward through your message. This a Latin phrase: In wine there is truth (I would say this is an accurate assessment through the third drink - after that, things that come out of people's mouths get wacky). Clearly, he likes feet but is afraid of the strict definition of "fetish" which he states accurately.
He still likes boobs & butts, savors a kiss, and loves to "cop a feel"; all the "normal" things. When you get down to it, though, the real nitty gritty, what will knock him over the edge, is feet...The last thing you want to do is bring it up in conversation. That, alone, may feel like confrontation. He may have, um...pressures on him to be (again) "normal".
Suggestions: Be barefoot whenever possible. When you do wear shoes, try to make sure that they expose as much of your foot as is fashionably - and seasonally - possible. In essence, here, you are teasing and enticing him. You'll have to watch him carefully but you will figure out what his preferences are (clean/dirty, smelly or not, hosiery or none).
Have your intercourse as you would with anyone else; keep your feet out in the open, though.
And, fer cryin' out loud, get some jollies for yourself.
Posted by footjoyboy (Member # 26478) on :
A Rose by any other name.....
_fjb_
Posted by ozboy (Member # 518) on :
Hi Laura,
Its really wonderful of u to be so accepting of him and of this fetish. Not all women are as accomodating as u and u deserve a pat on the back for that !! I'm looking for a girl just like u; open minded and accomodating.
As for your boyfriend just reassue him that:
a) You support him and dont mind him admiring feet ;
b) reassure him that he is normal and there is nothing wrong with having a foot fetish. If u want u can tell him that statistics show that up to 25% of the male population involve feet in some form of sexual activity !!
Cheers,
Posted by scrunchlover (Member # 21542) on :
I think he may either be in denial, or is just very hesitant about opening himself to you. It's one thing to do something, but another to admit to it. People commit crimes all the time, but they don't admit to them. LOL!
Posted by feetluvr (Member # 1570) on :
Laura- again I say that you are such a sweatheart for being so kind and caring in attempting to make your BF happy in this respect. Even taking the foot issue away, you're obviously a very caring girl.
Most of us on the forum use the term "foot fetish" VERY broadly- meaning that, if we have even an above normal interest in feet we say we have a foot fetish. But in the strictest definition, your BF is correct- having a foot fetish means that you cannot get aroused without feet- which he's saying is not the case with him.
It's obviously quite clear that he likes feet- but I'm not sure that, with what you've described so far, that he likes feet any more than any of your other body parts. It seems to me that he's just a very complete lover of all parts of the the female body.
In other words, just because a guy does some things with feet, does not mean he has a strong liking for feet or has a foot fetish. In most cases it does- but not all.
It is of course possible that he's in denial. As others have told you- a girl like you that's SO accepting of foot attention is so rare.
Anyway, strictly from a relationship standpoint- don't over think this or try to insist that he has something that he doesn't want to acknowledge. It will only cause problems. Just continue to get feedback from him as to what he wants to do, how often, etc. but I wouldn't make it a huge issue.
Unfortunatly I'm married and WAY to old for you, but as you've undoubtedly gathered from the posts here on the forum, you know that if you're ever looking for some guy to REALLY get into your feet, that there are MANY out there!!
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
From reading what you've posted before and, now, this latest post, Lovely_Laura, I would say that your guy does like feet. I will add that it may, or may not be, a foot fetish. However, if I were a gambling man, I would say that he has a foot fetish, from the things you described and his reaction to you bringing it out into the open.
There could be a few reasons for his reaction, which could include any one of the following:
1)He's in denial of his foot fetish.
2)He does like feet but, as he said, isn't obsessed over them on a woman and doesn't necessarily need them to be part of a sexual interaction in order to get off.
3)He's afraid of freaking you out.
4)He just isn't comfortable enough with himself to admit that he has a fetish for women's feet.
From my personal experience in the past, I've used reasons 1,3, and 4 above for not coming out and saying anything to a woman about my foot fetish or outwardly admitting I have one. In the past, I've been worried about how women would react and wondered if they would be ok with it. Along the same vain, some women get freaked out over thinking that their feet could be something sexual because they don't like feet in general, or they just don't like their own feet. Therefore, anyone "making a move" on their feet may possibly stop any sort of sexual interaction or, worse yet, end the relationship with a girl in my mind's eye when I used to think like this. I was also afraid that there was a possibility that women may come out and accuse me of liking just their feet and nothing else about them, which would also end any kind of relationship potential with a woman I was interested in.
It has only been within the last several years that I've gotten comfortable with myself enough to acknowledge that, yeah, I like women's feet and they turn me on and that is something that is a part of me and that I now accept as part of who I am. Before I got comfortable with it, I did anything and everything not to bring it up. The mere thought of talking about what I wanted to do with a woman's feet with a woman made me very uncomfortable. This was due mostly to what society deems as "normal" body parts to like and what's acceptable. There was always this thought that I wasn't "normal" by society's standards and that, as such, I needed to bury my desires and not even talk about them. Talking about them openly with a woman before I got comfortable with who I am was acknowledging to myself that I had a part of me that wasn't considered "normal" and that, because it wasn't considered the norm, I was less of a person and a "freak" because of my desires.
While I could be wrong with most of what I'm writing here, I'm also throwing out other things that might be preventing him from acknowledging he has a foot fetish and trying to get inside his head with what he might be thinking. I would say the best thing to do is not bring up the conversation about feet to him. I think it's more of an issue of him being uncomfortable with the fact that he likes your feet, or women's feet in general. It's kind of like when you're going out with a guy and then, suddenly, after only a few dates, he comes out and blurts he has all of these strong feelings for you. I'm sure that situation can be very uncomfortable, since you know you probably don't have those strong feelings back. My guess is that it's the same type of situation, but only in reverse. You've called him out on a part of him that he's not comfortable acknowledging to himself, let alone anyone else. As such, along with feeling uncomfortable, he probably doesn't want to freak you out over the fact that women's feet really turn him on. My advice is to convey that you're ok with his desires through action and not words. Make your feet available to him when he wants them. Tease him with your feet by wearing sexy shoes and dangling them, put your feet in his lap even if he doesn't ask you to do that. Things like that will send him the message that you're ok with his desire for your feet. The more positive reinforcement he gets, the more he'll get comfortable liking your feet. The more comfortable he gets, the more likely it will be that he may even begin sharing his thoughts and how he really feels about your feet.
Posted by Lovely_Laura (Member # 28659) on :
Hey guys.
Again, thanks sooo much for all of your replies. They all make a lot of sense. I think I will take your advice and just act okay with it, but not talk about it (for now). I didn't mean to bombard him. I was just excited, you know!? It's cool. I'll let you know what happens. Although I probably won't see him for a couple of weeks.
Btw, whoever it was that called me Lovely_Laura, you can just call me Laura if you like!
quote: And, fer cryin' out loud, get some jollies for yourself.
Don't worry. I most certainly do!
Laura xxx
Posted by You (Member # 2107) on :
i hope we´ll see you more often that that
btw i replied to your avatar thread but it disappeared resize it to 150x150 and you´re all set
Posted by Lovely_Laura (Member # 28659) on :
You certainly will. I love online forums. When I was younger I used to post on a forum for 'Will & Grace' fans. Lol. It's addictive. Laura x
Posted by You (Member # 2107) on :
well, Wu´s is certainly as addictive as will & grace any day Posted by Lovely_Laura (Member # 28659) on :
It depends which you prefer: feet or Will & Grace!x
Posted by You (Member # 2107) on :
i will have to stick to feet Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
quote:Originally posted by thosetoes: he's probably one of those guys that has a foot fetish, but doesn't call it that. There are plenty of people who refuse to be labeled as a foot fetishist. Simply more of a foot lover
I'm one of those guys. When I say I have a foot fetish I feel like i'm exaggerating. I like feet and they turn me on. But so do many other parts of the female body. I feel my affinity for female feet is much stronger than the average guy, but far weaker than a large majority of the guys here. So it's all relative. Alot like women that say they have a shoe fetish. They actually don't, but they like shoes. If they couldn't be satisfied sexually without her stilletos and it was affecting her everyday life and relationships adversly then i'd say she has a fetish. So i'm the same way
Posted by ozboy (Member # 518) on :
excuse me for my ignorance, maybe its because I'm from Australia but what are jollies?
Posted by Foot Lover Of London (Member # 2420) on :
Getting your rocks off...so to speak Oz Or did I actually mean *Socks* lol...!
Posted by Lovely_Laura (Member # 28659) on :
Lol.... 'jollies'must be a English term then, eh FLOL? I understood you perfectly! Laura x
Posted by Sabbath (Member # 4844) on :
Haha I said the same thing to my girlfriend.. Oh no, " I like YOUR feet" , I was just trying to make her feel special and not a "weird" foot fetishist. I don't think there is a problem. Posted by Foot Lover Of London (Member # 2420) on :
Laura...I believe that it is...And gald you understood me Great minds and all that...
Posted by Foot Lover Of London (Member # 2420) on :
And *GLAD* too lol !
Posted by Lovely_Laura (Member # 28659) on :
I'm gald too, FLOL. And thanks, Sabbath. That's very reassuring. Laura xxx
Posted by loveherfeettosmell (Member # 2953) on :
just passing by to say that Laura is a very cool chick.
Posted by FUZZ (Member # 20342) on :
Is "jollies" really an English thing? I am from Brooklyn, NY and I have used that since I was a kid.
Oh, yeah, welcome Laura! Sounds like he is from a more conservative background, or his parents were less open about sex. My dad, and brother both have foot fetishes but would deny it if asked straight away. I think the reason for this is that the availability of the stimulus is so abundant, that they can't handle it and they shut it down. Just a stoner thought. Posted by MitchC (Member # 20084) on :
Laura, I read your post. Here is how I see it:
The word "Fetish" is a very broad word. A "Fetish", by strict definition, is really when a person cannot achieve sexual arousal, without having contact with whatever the "fetish" is. Fot example, a foot "fetish" by definition, would be if a person could not achieve sexual arousal, without being in contact with feet. For this reason, I usually like to refer to my enjoyment of female feet as an "interest" or "strong preference". I can achieve arousal without being in contact with female feet. That having been said, if I met a girl who said "You can never, ever do anything to my feet", I couldnt be happy with that person. I do need feet as the greater part of a sexual experience, but, dont need to be in contact with them to achieve sexual excitement. I hope what I said makes sense.
My advice, try to subtlely play with him with your feet. Rub them against him during other sex play. Place them in his domain. By doing this, it shows him that his interest is okay to you, and maybe it will be an ice breaker.
I would love to chat with you further about this. I would appreciate if you could send me a private message on forum.
Hope what I said helped.
Mitch
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
quote:Originally posted by GQguy:
quote:Originally posted by thosetoes: he's probably one of those guys that has a foot fetish, but doesn't call it that. There are plenty of people who refuse to be labeled as a foot fetishist. Simply more of a foot lover
I'm one of those guys. When I say I have a foot fetish I feel like i'm exaggerating.
I'm with you! Besides the fact I just HATE the word 'fetish'. It's been too long associated with perversity and creepiness, which is something LIKING FEET IS NOT!!!
PS Lovely_Laura is super super SUPER PRETTY! I'd say the prettiest girl on the forum You're BF is also lucky to have such a nice open-minded girlfriend who is so accepting Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
Just thought I'd mention how much I envy your guy for all your enthusiasm and the fact that you are, well, so lovely.
I might also mention that I don't think "jollies" is an exclusively British slang term as I am sitting here in the "lake-effect" snows of Erie as I have every winter. Having said that, I must now ask myself, "Why??"
Posted by HailyWood (Member # 25294) on :
It looks like you have already received some great advice from the gentlemen. But I would like to offer a slightly different perspective.
It seems to me from what you have shared, that you have a bit of a foot fetish developing as well. At the very least, you possess a healthy curiosity and natural enjoyment for it. So how about turning things around and making it more about your interests to take the pressure off of him?
Instead of trying to be the supportive girlfriend that is politely attempting to get him to open up and confess his fetish, why not simply mention your own interest to him and ask him if he would indulge in your fantasies for a while.
I think this route works well with men for several reasons. First off, most men are very eager to please their ladies so he should want to do things that make you happy and give you pleasure. Second, by it being about your "fetish" it takes away the guilt or embarassment that may be holding him back. And third, a woman taking control and expressing to her boyfriend what she likes in bed is sexy.
You might find that by trying this you actually help him to be more comfortable with it and then hopefully you can both have a wonderful time. At the very least you will end up getting to explore your curiosity about these kinds of activities.
Good Luck:)
Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
I really like HailyWood's notion. "A great idea whose time has come." Brava!!
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resize it to 150x150 and you´re all set
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well, Wu´s is certainly as addictive as will & grace any day ![[Thumbs Up]](graemlins/thumbsup.gif)