Your wife/girlfriend announces that she's sick and tired of the attention you pay to her feet, and she wants you to stop doing it! How do you react?
Posted by Mikey P (Member # 1922) on :
the only logical way to react is to kick her to the curb
Posted by CaPTaiN MuRphY (Member # 9288) on :
nah, at first, my girl didn't like my fetish. She didn't like the whole footjob deal or me even playing with them...
there was a time where she didn't let me do anything and I kept telling her how much she turned me on with her feet. After awhile, she noticed how much I liked her feet and noticed that I didn't leave her just because she said no.
Now, she gives me fj's all the time. She gave me one yesterday and she was actually into it and made me want to cum on her feet which is somethin I haven't ran into.
Patience is a virtue...all i gotta say
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
yup.. patience is a virtue.
for those just casually dating, you can opt to leave if feet is that big a deal. and that is fine
serious daters, that can cause friction that should be addressed and resolved if possible.
married (given my views of marriage).. you've already made the committment to stay with her no matter what.. so.. ride it out! who knows she may change, if not.. you've made the choice already. ride it out!
RPM
p.s. more specifically... if you were getting all the play you wanted, but now she's fed up.. could be a balance issue that isn't working for her and that is her way of adjusting it. if you work through the issues that caused the change, you may find that balance she needs and you may be able to resume the activities (to some degree)... i doubt women out of the random blue will change that drastically just for the sake of annoying you!
Posted by High_Arch_Analyst (Member # 28756) on :
I answered try to negotiate, but if that didn't yield an amicable result, I'm with Mikey P -- she's finished.
Posted by Mr.Papers (Member # 3205) on :
quote:Originally posted by Mikey P: the only logical way to react is to kick her to the curb
indeed but I've never had a problem getting my way with a woman's feet. It's just too easy I don't see how some guys have a problem am I just lucky?
Posted by ozboy (Member # 518) on :
If I was dating someone seriously, looking for a life long partner, and she thought it weird being into feet and didnt want a bar of it, I think that would be the end of her.
But in a relationship and she just had enough, I'd try to get to the bottom of it.
Posted by Wing-Washer (Member # 3013) on :
Girlfriend == end of the relationship (assuming that I've been pleasuring her and fulfilling her needs)
Wife == tough decision, but I'd probably try to compromise/negotiate.
Thankfully, this hasn't even come close to being an issue in my marriage...
Posted by bsteps (Member # 33315) on :
This happens from time to time. The wife will say no more anal or no more footjob etc. It just means we've been doing too much of the same thing over and over. I just switch the bedroom routine to something else for awhile then go back to the freaky stuff after some time has pasted.
Posted by feetluvr (Member # 1570) on :
I'd try to nogotiate. Wouldn't give up w/o a fight. But she's still getting more and more into my fetish thank goodness. As bsteps mentioned- sometimes it's just too much attention on that one area and she wants a break.
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
I agree with RPM and bsteps. Usually, when a woman says "no more" to something in a sexual vein, then that means that the guy is concentrating too much on one thing or doing the same thing again and again and it's no longer enjoyable to the woman because it's done too often. Negotiate would probably be the best thing to do or, as suggested, just vary up the routine for awhile and concentrate on something else.
Posted by MitchC (Member # 20084) on :
I would try to negotiate. I would tell her that I can understand if it was too much, and maybe we would cut the foot attention down, or not do it for a short while. However, if she said "No more of my feet, ever". I dont think I could live with that. A wife is supposed to try and accomdate her husband's desires. Blatant refusal to do so, ever, is, to me, a demonstration of not considering her husband's feelings. I dont think I could stay with someone like that long term.
Mitch
Posted by ozboy (Member # 518) on :
Hey MitchC, hopefully you would come accross this attribute in her whilst dating, before you committ to a long term relationship.
Posted by dougiezerts (Member # 6829) on :
Thanks for your thought. I'm also on the side of trying to negotiate.
Posted by Mikey P (Member # 1922) on :
get another girl
no such thing as a "special" girl, all can easily be replaced
Posted by ct_feet (Member # 6757) on :
I voted to negotiate IF all else was fine. If this turned out to be one more problem (as was the case with my ex-wife) then it would push me over the edge. I am now doing the online dating thing and my profile clearly says that my potential woman MUST be into foot play. That does lead to some interesting conversation but so far it has worked. The few women I've dated totally enjoyed foot play.
Posted by girlyfootlvr (Member # 27325) on :
quote:Originally posted by bsteps: This happens from time to time. The wife will say no more anal or no more footjob etc. It just means we've been doing too much of the same thing over and over. I just switch the bedroom routine to something else for awhile then go back to the freaky stuff after some time has pasted.
My wife: Anal - No Way (never done it with her) We've been doing too much of this/that? Never! Cuz we never do too much of anything. We never do anything anyways. Freaky stuff - she doesn't know what that is. And if anything, things its for "bad" people. Good people don't do such things. She's not freaky, doesn't like any fetish stuff, doesn't even get horny.
WHAT SHE DOES LIKE IS - I buy her jwelery, take her shopping, go out, and spend money. She also is focused on her career, and wants us to make a lot of money, someday buy a big house, and very soon wants to have a kid - so that she can feel she's got a complete package of life. But her sex drive isn't there. She's nice looking and has decent feet. She'd let me kiss them, or even get a footjob most of the time when I want. However, I feel very humiliated if I want it (which is all the time), and she's not into it AT ALL. SHE WILL sit there like a cold fish, read her book, or do a job search... while I am messing with her feet like a fool. I know sometimes this senario works great. But not when you know she's REALLY NOT INTO IT, and DOESN'T CARE! Eventually, I've lost all interest in her, and her feet. She has sexy feet, and sometimes I see them in the bed and get excited..... but then I cool down VERY quickly knowing she doesn't even know what I'm feeling. I don't want to humiliate myself any further, so I just don't do anything with her feet anymore.
And she doesn't even notice the change in me. Oh well !!!
Posted by girlyfootlvr (Member # 27325) on :
This is not to say she's a bad human being. She's not. She cares and does her duties. She would hug me occassionally in the bed. She sometimes kisses me on the cheek (very rarely though). If I kiss her, then only she kisses me back (with little anticipation though), but she's never the one to start anything - NO matter how much upset I get or lecture her. She always says, if you want something why don't you do it? But she's never made a first move for anything, or even a kiss. She would let me do what I want (which has been a long time), but even then she's not fully involved. I feel like I'm doing it with a sex dummy doll.
However, she is a good person towards the family, and me. And does do her duties and chores with responsibility. OH yeah, she's very responsible though... and is always concerned about our future, kids, finances, etc.
I think she's a good wife, and would be perfect if she was not lacking in the sex, romance department.
Posted by Ryan & Andi (Member # 4143) on :
JMO... Sex is a huge part of a successful relationship. It sounds to me that you look at her as more of a parent than a lover. Being a responsible person is important, but so is having good sex, whether it be straight sex or foot sex. Life is too short to "settle."
If you have a need, it is your right to have it fulfilled, and the same with her. I would have some open discussions with her about what you need, and encourage her to do the same. If someone loves someone else, they will do whatever the other person wants to do in bed for the most part. Remember this... the first sign of trouble with any relationship usually presents itself between the sheets... Good luck my friend.
Posted by girlyfootlvr (Member # 27325) on :
I agree with you. Tried communicating, as you can see I'm quite expressive with words. Somehow, she's "hooked" on the fact that she's responsible and takes all the B.S of life, and is loyal to me. Love, Sex, fetishes, etc... are the "UN-Important" aspect of life - she thinks. If she was my gf, I'd dump her NOW!! But she's my wife, and is laying right next to me right now. Can't just dump her.........but dicussions go on and on and on and on.... to a point where I have to remind her to kiss me. Hey honey its been about 25 days since you last kissed me (which was also like a foced kiss). She'll just smile and laugh it off... and give a lil peck. Then comes another discussion.. and all over again.
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
sorry, i was not able to vote on this poll due to the lack of the most probable option for us foot subbies:
* grovel at her feet and whine the following phrase: "Please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE"like this guy at position 1:25 of this clip.
Posted by Mr.Papers (Member # 3205) on :
damn girlyyfootlv you sound like a woman I used to date had to let her go tho...
Posted by girlyfootlvr (Member # 27325) on :
quote:Originally posted by Mr.Papers: damn girlyyfootlv you sound like a woman I used to date had to let her go tho...
Good for you. I take it you were not married to her then...
Posted by Craigy boy (Member # 3340) on :
My wife says that often. Then she gets a new toe ring or some other trinket and i get what i want.
Give and take, mate.
I give.
She takes.
Posted by dougiezerts (Member # 6829) on :
So some ladies go through "moods" where they don't want your attention to their feet, then they change their minds.
Posted by bsteps (Member # 33315) on :
Sex is power girlyfootlvr. It sounds like your wife is enjoying this power she has. I think every woman tries to get on that power trip but it can become a dangerous game when your married. I've been there with my wife too but we had to go through some big bumps in the road before we reached this point in our marriage. Together 16yr and married 12yrs.
Posted by RPM (Member # 2895) on :
girlyfootlvr, i have many things to say.. some too choiced to type yet.
so, i've got to ask a generic question.. what cultural backgrown does your wife have?
what are her views on sex.. religiously speaking?
I ask only for clarification so I don't rant on about something that isn't relevant to you.
ok... i didn't believe such folks (not just women can be like that) existed until i met them. took loads of work (not all from me either) to get them to see the light.
trust me.. some folks find great joy and fulfilment in being responsible and can't allow themselves differently. sex is so hardwired out of their minds it takes professional help to let the consider it.
so, i'd love to offer sound suggestion if you don't mind giving me a little more background info.
but if you opt not to, cool with me.
a few things to make sure are ok,
-no medical issues messin' with her hormones. that alone can kill her sex drive
-no history of any emotional or psychological issues or abuse (if it was physical, your description would have been different)
-how were your first few sexual encounters with her and how does she feel about them emotionally.. can color a lot of her views
-how were her parents and her home environment.. what was their focus.. what was highly valued. (your lady sounds very very driven by strick rules that define success and she may feel sick if she's not focused.. much the way you feel when asking for sexual favors)
-how does she react if you stepped back a few days and got very hyper focused on your career/project/etc
she may love you still.. but lastly, find out if she's in love with you. not like you can use her love to get her to open up, but if she loves you, she'll be more motivated to work towards a solution. however. if she doesn't... that doesn't have to be a permanent deal... i've met couples who fell out of love.. ready to divorce.. and learned to step back, breath a little, start over and re-fell in love!
ok. i've said enough. speak to you soon
RPM
Posted by FtLckr26 (Member # 13998) on :
That would break my heart if my wife said no more feet. But I wouldn't call it over. She's my wife. I didn't marry her for her feet. I'd wait, hoping for the day to come when she would let me worship her feet again. Until then, I'd drool over pics of MD, TT, PP, and Shasha.
Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
I, too, went with negotiations but rather side with Bondo and feel that more than one approach at the same time is possible.
Still, my negotiations would go something like this: "Fine. If you don't indulge my desires you shouldn't expect any indulgences from me. Not just in the bed but, should you want some new item from the store (ranging from jewelery & clothing to durable goods) feel free to buy it yourself. When you want me to make dinner (something that I wind up doing 13 out of 14 nights), hope you like low fat cold-cuts; romantic dinners will be delivery pizza by the flicker of whatever is playing on the Sci-Fi Channel".
If her sentiments are that strong, then it is time for one of us to find the door; better for us both.
FtLckr26 is a genuinely honorable man who has my admiration.
Regarding girlyfootlvr, that is an issue that takes some thought. I will simply ask, "Didn't you know this as you entered into the marriage?"
Having successfully avoided a sermon, I'll toddle off to my "happy place".
Posted by LeDaemon (Member # 198) on :
quote:Originally posted by Toetapper: romantic dinners will be delivery pizza by the flicker of whatever is playing on the Sci-Fi Channel".
Amazing. If my wife overheard you say that she would leave me for you in a heartbeat. She will watch every crappy made for TV movie that comes on it on an evening when she gets to dominate the remote. If the delivery boy also dropped off a hamburger and mushroom pizza for you I'd be single. Posted by bluetoelover (Member # 14736) on :
Might as well weigh in on the situation.
As for girlyfootlvr, I understand what you going through man. Me and the g/f just had sex last night...first time in like 2 months! The foot thing is alright with her but it just seemed like we never had sex or tried to for that matter. I just got sick and tired of trying to make that first move and get shot down because she "wasn't in the mood" or "tired".
I basically sat her down and just came out and said "I'm not looking for sex every night but for fuck sakes if we don't have sex soon then I think we have to have different discussion". It sounded harsh I know but that discussion opened up avenues in terms of finding out what's on her mind and we came up with solutions to fix problems that made us making love impossible. Two days later and were humping like rabbits!
As for the foot thing and your wife, break it down to her much the same way I did with my g/f. Tell her that for you foot sex is what normal guys consider 'tail'(blowjobs and handjobs) "normal" guys want it all the time and don't consider it much of a chore for the girl to do. Then compromise with her. You get to fuck her feet and then either before/after she gets a full body massage or something else that will please her whether it be sexually or not. Either way impress upon her the importance of getting the foot issue resolved as soon as possible before it turns into bigger problems.
Good luck with everything bro and keep us updated!
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