I'm so embarrassed...she asked me a little while ago if I had a foot fetish and I told her no, I had no idea why she asked me, she finally told me the other day that it's because she had stumbled across on accident alot of pictures and videos I had of women's feet and porno. I'm just really embarrassed, of all things to get caught doing...i mean, i have no idea what she saw, it could have been videos of footjobs to simple poses of women's feet. I actually think i rather her see the pornographic stuff than her to have seen simple foot pictures because I think she might think it's even weirder that i can get off to a simple picture of a woman's feet. I was so embarrassed when she told me, i didn't even know what to say, i was at a loss for words...i'm like, kinda shy now to even see her knowing that she saw all of this material.
This was over a month ago, she hasnt broken up with me and she's told me many times how much i mean to her and stuff but she did say that she found those pictures to be disturbing and weird.
Does anyone have advice for me on how to play it off from here on out? I just feel like I dont even know how to act...i'm just really embarrassed. I dont want her to see me as some weirdo or creep.
Posted by oscarthemonkey (Member # 1692) on :
I think you have a golden opportunity to have her sit and introduce it to her.
She will either do one of two things: (a)learn about what turns you on and engage in it to make you happy (b) continue to find it disturbing and wierd- in which case she is not the girl for you
I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
Posted by Below_the_Ankles (Member # 33795) on :
Dude, why the fuck are you embarrassed? You should have said yes. Just admit it. But show, don't tell. Give her a foot massage. Introduce it that way. If she still finds it "disturbing and weird" then decide if the relationship is worth it.
Posted by dougiezerts (Member # 6829) on :
You should have admitted it in the first place. It's better to"come out of the closet." If she thinks it's too weird for her, then move on.
Posted by JerryJones (Member # 35340) on :
i think she is probably ok with me wanting to do stuff to her feet, she's let me suck on them before...i think she's more concerned with me being into other women's feet and looking at porno.
Posted by footster008 (Member # 26335) on :
dude you need to encrypt your password dawg bitches be snoopin
Posted by bluetoelover (Member # 14736) on :
She said the pictures are weird and disturbing?? Show her a japanese porn site...now that shit is weird and disturbing!
She sounds close minded and that my friend equals a red flag.
You say it has been a month since she found the pics/vids...but she has yet to introduce the foot play into the relationship right?? She knows what turns you on but she has yet to indulge...and if she hasn't by now then she more then likely won't.
Posted by Keyfeet (Member # 27313) on :
ok dougiezerts, first off, its not coming out of the closet.
And Jerry, I would think that you would have the common sense to NOT lie to your girl. If you didn't feel like aswering "yes" to her, you should ask "why?"
When did you expect to tell her if you said no. You just were going to your whole life without telling her?
And as for feeling bad, your going to feel bad untill something worse happens. thats the way it works.
[ July 29, 2009, 09:08 PM: Message edited by: Keyfeet ]
Posted by FtLckr26 (Member # 13998) on :
I think you are in a good situation. She said you mean a lot to her which is good. Just talk about it with her. How was her tone and expression when she asked you if you have a foot fetish? You should get rid of your porn or save it somewhere and reassure your girlfriend you only have interest in her feet. Sounds like you're in a good relationship and she'll let you worship her feet. The most important thing is to talk about it with her.
Posted by Hangtenfeet (Member # 34880) on :
I agree with most here, just tell her the truth, if she gets creeped out and leaves, so what.. you saved alot frustration and pain because she would have found out eventually. You can not deny who you are or what turns you on. If you repress it, you will be in a relationship where you are looking for it somewhere else. Find a girl that you feel good about and that has the same attraction or at least loves to entertain your attraction.
Getting caught with the videos wasn't a big deal at all, it's how you've been handling the situation that's all wrong. Mistake number 1 was saying no when she asked you if you had a foot fetish and you said no. Mistake number 2 is being embarressed and/or ashamed about the situation now. If she's still with you though you haven't blown it yet. You've lied right to her face about your sexual preferences, and you're into things she finds "wierd and disturbing" yet she's still your girlfriend. That tells me that she's screamin' for the seamen and you can have your way with her and her feet, in fact she's waiting for you to step up and take em and even encouraging it by bringing the subject up. Have a few drinks with her and offer her a foot massage, while you're messaging her feet, just start kissing em and sucking her toes, and say "yup, you got me...I've got a foot fetish, I've been trying to keep it under control because you've got some of the cutest feet I've ever seen and I didn't wanna come on too strong and freak ya out but I'm glad you found out because I couldn't have resisted these pretty lil piggies much longer." Then suck her toes a little more...which will give you an instant hard on...fuck her brains out and be sure to suck her toes again at some point during the fucking...after that it should become a regular part of your sex life without much further conversation, if not, move on, and try not to be such a pussy with the next chick out of the gate when it comes to telling her about your foot fetish. I think you'll be alright here though, the fact she's bringing the subject up and still with you tells me that you've more than likely got away with one here, but the cat's out of the bag so now's the time to get on those peds before the subject ends up closing itself and things end up 10 times more awkward the next time it comes up.
Posted by octoberbaseball (Member # 20977) on :
Don't feel so down. If I was you I would come out and be honest like I didn't say anything because I was sort of shy in the beginning, but yes I do have a foot fetish. If you want you can say I didn't know how you would react. Plus she's your girlfriend, not just a girl you're seeing. If she cares about you she will stay and hopefully accept it.
Posted by JerryJones (Member # 35340) on :
Ok i guess I should give a little more details about how the conversation went down..the day she asked if I had a foot fetish...i say No...but..since we met I have always told her I like her feet and I think they look nice. So she told me she hopes that I dont go around checking out girl's feet and that she only wants me to like hers. I told her that I dont think most girls have attractive feet and that there is something about her's that really do it for me and she said good. Now..that's actually true...because I'm very picky about feet, I dont drop to my knees and want to worship just any girl's feet. In fact, her feet have driven me so crazy since i met her, if I am on porn sites, I'm usually looking for someone who has feet kind of like hers. She's let me rub them and kiss/suck them, but i wouldn't say it's been an all out indulgence in my part.
I dont think she found the fact that I had a foot fetish to be weird and disturbing..i think she was offended about me looking at other girl's feet on the internet....she seems perfectly fine with me liking her feet though.
Anyways, so after this you may ask, what's the problem? Well the problem like i said above is not her...she has gotten over the being offended by the videos and she is open to me rubbing/kissing her feet....my problem is I'm embarrassed she saw the type of videos i downloaded...maybe i'm not confident or comfortable with myself, but i never wanted anyone to see that i downloaded foot fetish porn. I guess that's really what it is more than anything, just being embarrassed that she got to take a look into something that i felt was very very private of mine.
Posted by John Michaels (Member # 4576) on :
quote:Originally posted by dougiezerts: You should have admitted it in the first place. It's better to"come out of the closet." If she thinks it's too weird for her, then move on.
please never compare FF to "coming out of the closet" ever again. I honestly think this should be a rule on this site.
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
quote:Originally posted by JerryJones: Ok i guess I should give a little more details about how the conversation went down..the day she asked if I had a foot fetish...i say No...but..since we met I have always told her I like her feet and I think they look nice. So she told me she hopes that I dont go around checking out girl's feet and that she only wants me to like hers. I told her that I dont think most girls have attractive feet and that there is something about her's that really do it for me and she said good. Now..that's actually true...because I'm very picky about feet, I dont drop to my knees and want to worship just any girl's feet. In fact, her feet have driven me so crazy since i met her, if I am on porn sites, I'm usually looking for someone who has feet kind of like hers. She's let me rub them and kiss/suck them, but i wouldn't say it's been an all out indulgence in my part.
I dont think she found the fact that I had a foot fetish to be weird and disturbing..i think she was offended about me looking at other girl's feet on the internet....she seems perfectly fine with me liking her feet though.
Anyways, so after this you may ask, what's the problem? Well the problem like i said above is not her...she has gotten over the being offended by the videos and she is open to me rubbing/kissing her feet....my problem is I'm embarrassed she saw the type of videos i downloaded...maybe i'm not confident or comfortable with myself, but i never wanted anyone to see that i downloaded foot fetish porn. I guess that's really what it is more than anything, just being embarrassed that she got to take a look into something that i felt was very very private of mine.
While not admitting your fetish to her when she asked wasn't a good move, you can't change what has already happened. To waste energy on it at this point is futile. The more you go over in your head how embarrassed you feel about her having seen part of your stash of feet pics/videos on your computer, the worse you'll feel. It's a waste to play out things that have happened in your head and things that are out of your control. It happened and now you need to just move on.
I think some girls are naive if they think that A) men don't have porn or some stash of nasty magazines, pics and videos tucked away somewhere, and B) that we don't look at other women, or parts of other women's bodies. Guys are visual creatures. It's part of our make up. There's a big difference between "window shopping" and "trying on the merchandise". You may not be single, but you're most certainly not dead, either.
Posted by Panic (Member # 21074) on :
Lot's of good advice here. Mine won't be any better, but here goes. Time is a good healer. She is still with you (a good thing). Slowly start doing other things with her feet. I also see you have some choices regarding your porn...Delete the porn or move it to a secure location, don't download anything you wouldn't want to be seen.
I could keep going but it would be way to long. Good luck and keep us posted! You will be fine.
Posted by Karas (Member # 23934) on :
Have you and her engaged in foot play during your sex life?
Posted by toesukr22B (Member # 6298) on :
Good grief i still don't understand this stigma surrounding feet in 2009. Since i was 18 i have been open about it, i compliment girls on their toes and my girlfriend of 4 years is really into it to ( she loves having her toes sucked) I don't understand why its weird, you like tits and pussy right? well feet are just another aspect of a woman that turn me on too. Just wish people would grow up now and see its not some weird thing to like, its not like we are into asian chicks taking a dump in our mouths?
Posted by feetness (Member # 3546) on :
I have had a bit of a similar mishap at one point. When I met my now ex, I was not shying off with saying that I am into feet. One of the first things that came out of my mouth when we met. I thought, hell... might as well be honest and see if that takes you anywhere. To my surprise, even tho she didnt like her feet at all, she was more than happy to start taking more care of them and let me indulge in them as well.
After a while, I started going out and asking girls in parks to pose their feet for me. Saving these pics on my pc, hidden and all, she still managed to find all of them (snooping around for a reason as she said). She was NOT happy aty all with it, and asked why and what the point was. Explaining to her that I just got a buzz out of it and that it didnt mean much, we sort of got our differences out of the way, and everything was fine. The only condition being.. I get rid of the pics imediately and start concentrating on her feet indstead. So as hurtful as it was.. all 347 pictures went into the recylce bin and never got to see them again... but at least I had heaps more fun with my ex feet since then.
I guess it shows, just be honest and don't hide yoour true self. If you cannot open up completely while you are with somebody then you will never have the pleasure of indulging in your own little fantasies and games. Good luck with everything in the future mate!
Feetness Posted by Keyfeet (Member # 27313) on :
dude, its time to be a man. she found your porn, she didnt chop your dick off.
Posted by SOLEMAN 13 (Member # 33699) on :
Just tell her you bought a used hard disk drive when your old one died and this stuff just happened to be on it.
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
Stop with they lying. Men tell the truth and deal with the consequences. But still everyone will respect you. When I find out someone lied to me I tend not to believe anything they say and make my own assumptions. Very bad. Fix it by telling her the truth. Tell her how she can be involved in your foot fetish. If she won't get involved it will hurt. But there is always another woman that will indulge you.
GQguy
Posted by sandyrog (Member # 30383) on :
i feel for you dude, very embarassing. the majority of women think it is weird whether we like it or not.
Posted by DeLoatch (Member # 22329) on :
My ex had known for quite some time I had a FF. She saw that I had this (and several other FF sites) bookmarked and didn't say a word...all she did was ask me to come for lunch one day, where she then proceeded to give a FJ that left me spinning.
When I got up, there was a note waiting for me that basically told me she had been longing for that moment and that I didn't need a website to get off to when all I had to do was ask.
Problem solved. We broke up earlier this year, but she gave me one last FJ for old times sake.
Posted by oscarthemonkey (Member # 1692) on :
quote:Originally posted by John Michaels:
quote:Originally posted by dougiezerts: You should have admitted it in the first place. It's better to"come out of the closet." If she thinks it's too weird for her, then move on.
please never compare FF to "coming out of the closet" ever again. I honestly think this should be a rule on this site.
So- homophobia is just fine, but we should still expect people to openly accept our fetishes? What a brilliant arguement.
Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by oscarthemonkey:
quote:Originally posted by John Michaels:
quote:Originally posted by dougiezerts: You should have admitted it in the first place. It's better to"come out of the closet." If she thinks it's too weird for her, then move on.
please never compare FF to "coming out of the closet" ever again. I honestly think this should be a rule on this site.
So- homophobia is just fine, but we should still expect people to openly accept our fetishes? What a brilliant arguement.
I thought the same thing..BUT to be fair to him, and to give the benefit of the doubt, he hasn't directly said he's against gays, just that he hates that phrase...people hate phrases. It happens.
If I say "chill" to my girlfriend, she gets somewhat irate for example. haha
Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
And Jerry-Laa...think of it this way: it means you didn't have to tell her, she just found out. It's done and out in the ether now. It made her know as opposed to building up the courage to bring it up Posted by footntoesmassager (Member # 12132) on :
This story made me lock up my foot fetish porn using the free program My Lock Box. I can't have that out in the open for people to see.
Posted by Elvzz (Member # 14178) on :
That what we aren't ashamed of sets us free - U smoke weed? Do it proud.
There are shamans smoking tobacco chanting "love."
Mom's is religious and knows I will be on Playboy Radio. God made feet, hands, hair, ding dongs and poop for all the G rated people out there.
Posted by Tiny Dave (Member # 30771) on :
Maybe she will learn to like giving you a foot job.
Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
My girlfriend agrees that every woman needs her own foot-fetishist so I'm in the clear with my stash (of all kinds of porn).
You might be able to "recalibrate" your answer to her and explain that you do have a passion for women's feet but you never regarded it as a fetish as you have a variety of sexual interests to go along with feet. As a f'rinstance: perhaps you nibble her ear a little more frequently than other sexual behaviors; would she then say that you have an ear-nibbling fetish?
Also, I hope that you can get past the "embarrassed" thing. There's really no need men have certain preferences (as do women), it's just a fact of life; there's no sense in being embarrassed by a fact.
I agree with Fate111 - women know that men whack-off and prefer visual stimuli as an aid. To deny that they know it demonstrates an astonishing naiveté or a propensity for prevarication.
Posted by solebrotha985 (Member # 2347) on :
y are u so embarrassed man? most women know that men love porn and we all have different kinks. y not just man up and tell her what u are into and see what happens.
Posted by LuckyTeen (Member # 30822) on :
Don't worry, like many have stated, use it as an opening to introduce her to your world. She sounds interested in FF but just upset you would resort to the internet rather than her. Reassure her that her feet are the only ones you want then show her what you mean.
Posted by climax (Member # 6641) on :
quote:Originally posted by John Michaels:
quote:Originally posted by dougiezerts: You should have admitted it in the first place. It's better to"come out of the closet." If she thinks it's too weird for her, then move on.
please never compare FF to "coming out of the closet" ever again. I honestly think this should be a rule on this site.
How about coming out of the shoe box?
Posted by mywifesfeet (Member # 2630) on :
I treat my foot fetish like it is as normal as the fact that I like to suck a woman's nipples. I recommend that you work hard on being honest about it and right up front with her. That by the way is the ONLY way you will be able to play with her feet.
Posted by Pjay (Member # 35692) on :
Man, this is a subject that could make me ramble on for hours. I'll try to be succinct. This is one of the best threads I've seen on this site, because this is a subject that must come up perennially in the life of every foot fetishist! With every new girl in our lives, comes the need to be able to let her in on our fetish!
I do agree that one must be up-front with one's girlfriend about having a foot fetish; you just can't have a relationship with it kept hidden. I don't understand the concept of guys who get involved with girls--married, even!--and then are all like, "Gee, how can I tell my wife/girlfriend that I have a foot fetish and I'm hot for her feet?" It's like, WTF?! You got all the way to having this girl as a steady girlfriend or a wife and never told her about this important thing about you?!
I try to get it out of the way and known in the open as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the tougher it will be to "admit" it, and the more odd it will come across. You have to talk about it to her confidently, and convey the fact that you know that it has positive value to both of you in the relationship. I have rarely if ever met with real objection to it. When you get right down to it, for the girl's part, it should be considered a blessing to have such a simple, reliable way to turn her man on! It's like a sexual Smart Bomb. You might want to explain it that way.
Wouldn't you like a sure-fire way to instantly, every fucking time, get your girlfriend all crazy-fired-up?! 'Cause if you're like me, that's what it's like when a girlfriend knows you like her feet and uses them to her advantage!
I mean, imagine if your girlfriend, say, had a biceps fetish, and all you had to do was flex to make her jump you and start tearing your clothes off!
Let's think about one more thing: How easily has everyone's girlfriend accepted the idea of having her pussy licked?! They're fine with the idea that we put our mouths on their crotches, where pee and mucus come out--right around the corner from the bunghole!--so why the fuck shouldn't they be ok with a little sensual enjoyment involving their FEET? Posted by footster008 (Member # 26335) on :
i think we are all forgetting that this girl was snooping on his computer, you need to cock slap her.
Posted by Elvzz (Member # 14178) on :
If she didnt find porn she'd prob think you were a child molester or Dhamer type - we all have porn on our computer - the sqeeky clean people have something huge to hide!~
Watch "Hard Candy" sometime - awesome movie. Ellen Page was gr8.
Posted by dougiezerts (Member # 6829) on :
quote:Originally posted by climax:
quote:Originally posted by John Michaels:
quote:Originally posted by dougiezerts: You should have admitted it in the first place. It's better to"come out of the closet." If she thinks it's too weird for her, then move on.
please never compare FF to "coming out of the closet" ever again. I honestly think this should be a rule on this site.
How about coming out of the shoe box?
A better choice of words, perhaps. I didn't mean to offend any of you with my original statement!
Posted by Elvzz (Member # 14178) on :
I am w footster she'd be gone!
Posted by footlover14 (Member # 26169) on :
quote:Originally posted by footster008: i think we are all forgetting that this girl was snooping on his computer, you need to cock slap her.
hahahahahhahahah Hilarious, but very true
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
quote:Originally posted by footster008: i think we are all forgetting that this girl was snooping on his computer, you need to cock slap her.
Agreed. End of story.
Posted by Tom Uz (Member # 12166) on :
quote:Originally posted by John Michaels:
quote:Originally posted by dougiezerts: You should have admitted it in the first place. It's better to"come out of the closet." If she thinks it's too weird for her, then move on.
please never compare FF to "coming out of the closet" ever again. I honestly think this should be a rule on this site.
I think we should have as few rules as possible. But as to why "never compare"? I think the difference is that being gay is too basic and too big a deal to hide whereas fetish is not so much what kind of person you're with as what you do when you're with them. And if it feels too intimate to some people and they wish to keep it quiet that's the right of privacy. There isn't the long documented history of discrimination and harassment against footguys which would mandate political activism. Did there used to be state laws against sucking women's toes? No, so that leaves us more free to be private with our fetish if we prefer. I think gay activists argue that they must sacrifice some of their privacy now to establish their other rights going forward, but don't dispute the privacy principle. But another thing worth surrendering your privacy for is an honest love relationship, where your eyes are as close as the rest of your bodies. A lot of girls get upset about any kind of porn on your computer, even if it's totally ordinary, don't forget that. They feel threatened, like they're not good enough. That can lead to an outcome like feetnees described.
Feetness wrote:
quote: The only condition being.. I get rid of the pics imediately and start concentrating on her feet indstead. So as hurtful as it was.. all 347 pictures went into the recylce bin and never got to see them again... but at least I had heaps more fun with my ex feet since then.
A picture may be worth 1000 words, but real feet are worth something like E=mc2 pictures, if the relationship keeps developing.
Posted by lovesize7s (Member # 34342) on :
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
I don't understand why its weird, you like tits and pussy right? well feet are just another aspect of a woman that turn me on too. Just wish people would grow up now and see its not some weird thing to like, its not like we are into asian chicks taking a dump in our mouths?