i know we all talk about being comfortable with our fetish and not hiding it from anyone, but i have a situation where i am not sure of the right thing to do. it hasnt happened yet, but it very well could and soon.
my wife and 11YO daughter were watching some bachelor/ette stuff online and somehow a clip from the foot loving twit from the last bachelorette came on and i guess he made reference to her feet on it. my daughter gets very confused and said what does he mean? my wife said some guys have a foot fetish and that they really love feet and they find them sexy. she said oooooh. does dad have a foot fetish? my wife laughed and said to her, i'm not sure. you should ask dad.
this was earlier in the week and she hasnt mentioned it yet, but i am not sure what to say if she asks. its no big deal, but is a sex life kind of thing.. and it's not like i would tell her that mom and i like to play a little BDSM.. but then again, we are very open and my wife has told her that yes, she is bisexual and knows that from experience. any thoughts?
Posted by moman (Member # 479) on :
Kids are VERY observant - she has probably noticed you checking out your wife's feet. Which would probably be why she asked "does dad have a foot fetish?" So, if she suspects it and you and your wife have always been open with her, maybe ease her into it by telling her that you find everything about your wife including her feet to be sexy. Then see how it progresses with any further questions she may have.
Great question!
MoMan
PS - I still think your wife's toes are awesome!
Posted by Dick Lipschitz (Member # 127) on :
I was in sort of the same boat, nusuth. After my 11-year-old noticed that I spend a lot of time enjoying my wife's feet -- massaging them, kissing them discreetly -- the answer I gave her was, "I love your Mom from head to toe." That seemed to work. I'm sure she'll figure out the rest of the story some day, but I don't believe now is the right time for my child to have to ponder the answer beyond that.
Sounds like there's a greater degree of sexual openness in your home, though, so it's hard to say what would work for you. I have to admit that I'm not sure why a foot fetish would be a bigger issue than having already told your daughter that your wife is bisexual.
Cheers, DL
P.S. -- I also agree about your wife's pretty feet.
Posted by Phallus4feet (Member # 31013) on :
I actually have a tattoo on my back with feet prints and says fetish under it. A little hard to hide at the beach...
Posted by oscarthemonkey (Member # 1692) on :
Interesting question. I'm not sure how to advise you....I wonder what my 17 year old daughter thinks
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
i got a chance to discuss this with my wife and she actually advised that i laugh it off and not be so open. i was definitely surprised and when i asked her why i shouldnt just admit to it, she said we dont want to freak her out too much. as much as she was shocked when i was answering her questions about me liking women, i think she'd not be able to handle the fact that you like my feet. it's just too weird for someone just entering her understand of sex.
my wife's just too smart. Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
me personally if i had an 11y/o daughter suspecting me of a foot fetish, i would not be talking to her about my intimate affairs. suggest you keep your answers very brief, vague, & respectable when children are involved.
Posted by letmeseeyourfeet30 (Member # 18886) on :
yeah that's not the kind of thing to discuss with an 11yo...only a few years left of that sweet innocence before she becomes a teen
Posted by Patrick (Member # 1169) on :
I'd say to recover and if ever asked again, say, "No way. Mommy's feet stink!" She'll laugh, you'll laugh and it'll be over.
I sure wouldn't feel right about it. I know I am REALLY comfy with my foot fetish, but sometimes I get a wrench thrown into the mix where I'm caught off guard.
One time I was going over Mindee's house to do some photos. Mindee's folks know what I do and happened to be over, but in a different part of the house. Well, Mindee's younger brother had his girlfriend over and she was like 14 at the time. During the first set Mindee called her into the room and was like, "Can she get in a fun picture with me, not for the site?" I was like, "I'm sorry, I don't feel right doing that and I don't need someone's parents out to kill me." With Mindee so comfortable with it and I guess her sharing it with her brother's girlfriend, I was just a little taken back. I think I did the right thing though and Mindee actually told me later she felt bad for putting me on the spot like that.
Long story short, just pass it off and there is no need to share details.
Patrick
Posted by aerodrew (Member # 2682) on :
As MOMAN said... "kids are very observant"... Yes they are.. I have a nine year old daughter. I just tackled explaining what being "gay" means... My opinion NUSUTH... The "birds & bees" talk is one thing... but "foot fetishism" and all the other niches is something she's gonna have to just figure out on her own... What matters most to kids is that their Mommies & Daddies love each other.. So if she sees you massaging or tickling your wifes feet to her it's no different than giving her a hug...
Posted by Fwrinkledsoles (Member # 101) on :
Hell, I have a 12 year daughter and when she was young as 4 or 5 she went with me to take a few pictures of some women feet I knew and sometimes she help with the lighting. Now, I have at least 40 8x10 picture in 11x14 frames all over our home. I like women feet my daugher knew and under I like women feet and that's all she need to know at this point. oh, her brother is 10 and he understand too. This is what I figure out. Their is nothing to be shame of as long as it don't hurt other because all of my models are of age.
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
Interesting. Good topic! I'm decades away from that, but I too will have to cross that bridge at some point. Thank you.
Posted by Lyrical (Member # 6603) on :
don't think I would share it. I like the whole laugh it off and mommy's feet stink thing. It's funny though that your wife was confortable enough to answer her about being bi sexual and she thinks you liking feet would be tough. How would an 11yr old be curious if their mother like girls anyway?
Posted by mfdooms (Member # 18036) on :
How was your wife's bisexuality announced to a 11yr old? Assuming she told her when she was 11 and not 10 or 9 or 6. Seriously, that's none of her concern, she's too young to know this kinda shit. Unless you want her to start getting curious and lose her virginity at the tender age of 13, you need to stop.
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
quote:Seriously, that's none of her concern, she's too young to know this kinda shit. Unless you want her to start getting curious and lose her virginity at the tender age of 13, you need to stop.
yeah.. anyway.. we are very open in all ways with our kids and with the things they are exposed to thru friends and tv, how could we ignore sexual preferences? i can name dozens of references in pop culture where homosexuality and bisexuality are brought up and instead of ignoring that the fact that millions of people are not heterosexual, we've discussed it. we dont go out of our way to talk about it, but we certainly will answer any questions that are asked. when lady gaga came out and discussed that pokerface is about her thinking about being with women as she is with a guy that lead to a discussion. when a contestant is on reality show and he or she talks about his/her homosexuality and questions are asked, we answer them honestly and openly. when eventually my daughter asked my wife if she liked women, my wife was honest and admitted that she did. my daughter asked her how long she's known and what she had done. my wife explained to her about how long she knew but told her that what she's done is not something that needs to be discussed. i think it healthy and smart to have an attitude where your kids arent afraid to ask to about things like this. my daughter had actually asked me about being gay quite some time ago and was uncertain that she might be. i asked why she felt that way and she said she sees women on tv and think they are beautiful. i asked her if she looks at the boys in her school and thinks about holding hands or kissing them and she said well yeah in an embarassed way. i then asked has she ever thought about that way with a girl. she said no. i said ok. that means you arent gay, you can appreciate that some women are beautiful.
now how would having an relationship with my daughter and letting her be completely comfortable asking us about anything being bad? *shakes his head*
Posted by Patrick (Member # 1169) on :
Nusuth,
You'll get 100 opinions on how to raise kids from 100 different people. You know your family better than us, so you're probably better off doing what you feel is right. We won't all agree with it, or some of us might do things differently.
Just remember though, kids, like adults, talk. You might be okay with being open with your kids about some things, but do you want your kids telling their friends who tell their parents, or maybe teachers and such? I know there were certain parents of friends that I had that my folks weren't crazy about and I really wasn't allowed in their houses (which sucked for me as a kid). That's not saying much as my father was big into gun collecting. God forbid that other parents knew about it because they'd judge that he's a psycho. He wasn't and had things locked away and not shown to people. But my closer friends' parents all knew. Didn't want them coming by and going back to their folks and being like, "Patrick's dad had a gun out today when I came over."
I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong at all. Just throwing a little extra something to think about for your daughter's social growth too.
Patrick
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
good point Patrick. it just blows me away that someone would think that talking to your kids about sex is going to make them promiscuous.
as for other people finding out about either her bisexuality or my foot fetish, one, she's a smart kid when it comes to that. she is not going to tell her friends something that will embarass herself and talking about her parents sex life will surely do that. two, if anyone is going to judge us over these things, then i dont mind that their kids arent allowed over to our house because i guarantee that we will definitely be exposing their kids to 'dangerous' ideas.
Posted by MistressMilky (Member # 39824) on :
I wouldn't go in to details of things I think the best idea/ thing to say to your daughter if she asks do you like mummys feet is just to say ''I love your mummy and everything about her'' and leave it at that. It reassures the kid you really love each other without going in depth about what you do as a couple
Posted by SOLEMAN 13 (Member # 33699) on :
^^what she said^^
Posted by MitchC (Member # 20084) on :
It's one thing to be open to kids about "sex" in general. It's yet another, I think, to discuss one's specific sexual preferences with their children. To me, I think that subject is private.
I've discussed this very topic with girls I've both been friends with, and been involved with, and they all agreed: It's one thing to discuss sex in general, to educate your kids about sex. It's quite another to be intentionally playing with, kissing, licking, smelling, tickling, etc, their mother's feet on a regular basis right in front of them. First, it makes them think: "My parents are weird, why is my dad all over my mom's feet". Also, kids talk. How would any of us like it if we knew our children were going to school, and telling their friends: "My dad likes to smell my mom's sweaty feet" or: "I caught my father sucking on my mom's toes, or licking her feet". I think that because most people on this forum consider feet a sexual thing, being caught doing such by your children, isn't much different then if they walked in on you buck naked having sex. I dont think any parents would like that.
Maybe I'm overemphasizing it, but this is just my view.
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my wife laughed and said to her, i'm not sure. you should ask dad.![[Tongue]](tongue.gif)
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