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Posted by ThisisMe373 (Member # 2340) on :
 
Hey i havent been on here for a while people but need to let of some steam from my current situation lol.
Well i have met this girl through my friend and she seems really cool we have started dating and she has been stopping up quite a few nights over the last few weeks, problem is i am VERY secret about my foot fetish and i can tell from her personality that she would find it very weird and she doesn't really like it when i touch her feet, the next problem is as she's been staying we are getting closer and closer to sex but i am worried i'll be pretty rubbish if i don't let her know about my fetish and have what im craving, I am so close to telling her but im pretty sure she won't like it and will tell everybody, its horrible cus she seems to really like me and is cool, at times like this i wish i just loved pussy the way i do feet she is coming up this thursday or friday and im pretty sure she's expecting sex now, advice please
 

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Posted by girlyfootlvr (Member # 27325) on :
 
I'm sure others will chime in, but here's my 2 cents...


Start with being on the couch, watching TV or some chat. Avoid going for the bed. Try to get intimate, with kissing, rubbing here every where. That should get her in the mood, and if she's in the mood, she won't mind anything you do. Give her a shoulder massage, and tell her you want to see her relax... Then tell her you give a good foot rub too, as you slide down to her feet in your lap. Go from there... and tell her how cute her toes are, like lil' candy. And little kisses and nibbles would naturally come into play... Just follow your instincts and go with it.

Good luck And let us know how it went!
 

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Posted by ThisisMe373 (Member # 2340) on :
 
Thanks for your reply the problem with that is i know she will move her feet away if i kissed them lol also something i want to add is it seems like we just really fancy each other because when were in the car together theres barely any chat we just like kissing but im thinking she really does want sex to make us closer, i feel nervous about it as we ain't totally comfortable with each other.
 

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Posted by longhitter04 (Member # 2391) on :
 
Am I missing something here? Why don't you just have sex with her? It sounds like it's a sure thing. Worry about getting at her feet later.

If you have sex with her a few times and please her, she WILL accomodate your fetish... guaranteed.
 

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Posted by Mona (Member # 8351) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by longhitter04:
Am I missing something here? Why don't you just have sex with her? It sounds like it's a sure thing. Worry about getting at her feet later.

If you have sex with her a few times and please her, she WILL accomodate your fetish... guaranteed.

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This. With your feelings that she might be uncomfortable and the proximity to this and your other friends who are mutual acquaintances being a major factor, you are better off leaving the foot fetish out of this for now and seeing if you are compatible in all the other aspects. Foot Fetish is just one of many things that can be simplified to "pleasure", and this situation pretty much requires you focus on displaying an eagerness to please her. Not because you are putting her on a pedestal but because it's a polite and much less creepy way to show someone that pleasure is going to be very important to you if that person decides to be in a relationship with you. It makes the foot Fetish less of an awkward surprise to someone who is unfamiliar with it, and having shown the bedroom isn't all about you reduces the chances she will feel like she is being asked to take on a new "task" she may or may not think she can perform well. It's a misconception that all women are "freaked out" about it, some actually don't think they will be good at it. Having developed a relationship first will make your word that it's nothing to be insecure about have more weight, and if it's just something she is not going to be into, the relationship will at least humanize you and might make certain topics like your sex life off limits to your friends out of mutual respect.
 

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Posted by ThisisMe373 (Member # 2340) on :
 
Well we have talked and agreed that we wanna get more comfortable with each other first with foreplay which should lead to sex after a week or two, all it is that i feel i perform to my best if feet are involved, dont wanna be a lousy shag, btw mona thats great advice thank you

[ November 23, 2010, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: ThisisMe373 ]
 

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Posted by jamesdd (Member # 19270) on :
 
from my past mistakes i have learned it is best not to jump into the foot fetish thing too quickly or too strong straight away. you say you would perform better with feet involved? are you sure about that? if it were me i think having feet involved the first time i have sex with someone would turn me on a lot more and so that might make me cum a bit quicker if i was feeling nervous.. thats the way i used to feel when i first started dating girls and having sex, where as nowadays i take it easy, play it cool and make sure its relaxed. put emphasis on FUN, dont talk too much about your feelings or what you are planning to do.

if it were me i wouldnt even try to edge towards foot massage etc. until i had steady sex with her for a couple of weeks. holding back now and creating a good start to a sex life will pay off in the long run and she will be a lot more open to that sort of thing after the good stuff has happened!

many many people on here have tried to advise me in the same way and there is only this way to go about it! you cant start off having feet. whether she is cool with it depends on her. so long as you have gone about it the right way then there is nothing more you can do but chances are she will be absolutely fine with it after a good shagging
 

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Posted by Patrick (Member # 1169) on :
 
There is more woman above the ankles. Focus on that 99 percent first.

Patrick
 

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Posted by jamesdd (Member # 19270) on :
 
p.s ive noticed something youre saying here, and you remind me of myself a few years ago or even not that long ago. its funny how men have this huge pressure to perform well, last long, have a big cock, not be a "lousy shag".. well i've learned 2 things. first of all, girls feel this pressure too. just because they dont have a dick and can often sit back and do nothing, they will still want to be able to perform well, and too right! why should it all be down to us guys to do a good job?! and secondly, its not all about performance. i think, i might not be 100% correct on this, but many girls would rather have fairly good sex with someone they are comfortable with in the right mood than awesome sex with someone they feel uptight and un-comfortable with. and thats not me saying its all your job to make her feel comfortable.

infact try setting yourself a task of caring less! try not giving a shit so much and see what happens. you'll find things will loosen up and you'll have an awesome time.

i've never really been that successful with women myself for the same reasons until these last couple of weeks ive been pulling and having sex like an animal lol. ive literally doubled the amount of people ive slept with. maybe not something to be proud of if you dont want that lifestyle, but my point is i havent gone out with the intention of getting laid or worrying if i dont. its happened because ive been laid back and tried it on with a few girls!
 

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Posted by Scotty7493 (Member # 13127) on :
 
Take off her clothes, whip out your big boner, and fuck the shit out of her feet!

If she objects and refuses to have any of it, show her the fucking door!


 

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Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
 
You spend too much time focusing on why you can't accomplish something rather than how you can achieve your goal.

As I've counseled before, start with just being a regular guy; give her some time to become comfortable with you. At the outset of a relationship, it is about getting to know one another's idiosyncrasies - you doubtless have plenty of them (for example: food preferences; books you like and/or hate - though you don't strike me as a reader, that, too, is a trait she will get to know; how you fold towels; your hygiene rituals, etc.).

If she is self-conscious about her feet but she is very comfortable with you and discovers that you are comfortable with her feet, she is likely to relax, and feel better about them; she may actually be flattered to realize that you regard her as so lovely that even her feet are lovely to you.

Take your time...a lot of it; and, for crying out-loud, stop trying to read her mind.

Finally, don't fear failure.

*Standby for cliches*
There are plenty of fish in the sea. By extension, there are lots of toes throughout the countryside. If she doesn't work out, keep looking.

*Next Cliche*
It is an axiom among the old traveling salesmen that one must knock on 100 doors to get 1 to open. If this door doesn't open, perhaps the next one will - you just have to keep knocking.

Now, go re-read the first paragraph.
 

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Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
 

quote:

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There is more woman above the ankles. Focus on that 99 percent first.

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quote:

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Originally posted by soleenjoyment:
Focus on getting her over her insecurities. Then take the long path to her feet and find out what HER turn-ons are.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Toetapper:
In other words, slow down and remember that the center of the matter is not YOU.

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Well said.

It seems like guys are a little too concerned with getting theirs and not concerned enough with the other party, since they're the ones receiving and whatnot.

I've obviously not been a woman with hot feet (not in this life, at least), so I don't know what it's like...but I imagine there's some kind of adjustment period involved, especially if the lady in question has never dealt with this particular peccadillo previously. Imagine yourself in her shoes, and maybe you'll gain some insight on her feelings.

And if she's really sweating that much, make her more comfortable. Or at least attempt to.
 

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Posted by www.afw4u.com (Member # 37725) on :
 
There are 2 ways :

1/ let the foot fetish thingy at the door and focus on your relationship with her. Chances are you guys will hit off and have a great time together. However this also means frustration and in the end might jeopardize a "perfect" relationship.

2/ Tell her right away. Either she accepts it or she can leave. Sure it's not a subtle approach but if she understand your fetish then you're in for a great time with her with no frustrations whatsoever.

Personally I ALWAYS go with option 2 and I had maybe 2 negative answers in my whole life. I prefer to make things straight from the start.
 

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Posted by cliveman (Member # 19258) on :
 
I have no real advice to offer you, other than what's already been said. But if it's any consolation you're not alone. I have exactly the same predicament, and I'm sure there are a whole mess of other lurkers watching this who have too

Also, if you still worry about feeling like a creep, just remember that there are FAR CRAZIER fetishes out there. The 'porn' I accidentally discovered on one of my friends computers the once still gives me nightmares.
 

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Posted by ROYALS22262 (Member # 2681) on :
 
Please keep her, the whole person as the focus, and put her at ease, with a little wine and lots of compliments. The more comfortable she is, and gets, the more comfortable you will be. Then slowly make out with her. Talk to her, tell her how much she turns you on, how badly you want to love her, and make love to her. Undress her slowly, kissing each part of her that you un-clothe. Let her undress you. Lay her down gently. Massage her body with your hands, touch her everywhere, let her touch you. Work your way down her body. Go slow. As you get to her feet, move your body between her legs. As you enter her, her legs are up and around you, lift them, or one of them to your face. You now have every reason to be hard, excited and ready to f her brains out. Enter her as you kiss and smell her foot. Tell her she is so beautiful, you love all of her, and her feet turn you on too! Make them part of the experience, not the whole experience! You both are now getting what you want. By making love and entering her as you play, kiss and smell her feet, you are allowing her to associate her feet with your pleasure, and her pleasure. Make sure she knows you love her first, and put her at ease that her feet turn you on too! A WIN-WIN situation! You won't need to be scared, or feel un-confident, once her sexy foot or feet is in your face! That is like VIAGRA and CIALIS put together! Don't be affraid to incorporate her feet in your love making! Make them a part of the whole over-all sexy hot encounter! Open and honest communication, before and after is vital too! GOOD LUCK!
 

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Posted by ThisisMe373 (Member # 2340) on :
 
ROYALS that would be great only problem is as im so nervous about not getting hard without the feet and obsessing about them too much im worried i won't be hard enough to "enter" her unless the feet are involved, as i have said in an earlier post i think part of the problem is anxiety im worried the sex will be rubbish, also she is not confident about her feet and its not just her being nervous she gets sweaty hands like really easily in no awkward situations same with her feet then she moves them away like she's embaressed (which is understandable) but if i started kissing her feet during sex she'll move them away instantly!
 

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Posted by ROYALS22262 (Member # 2681) on :
 
My biggest point was for the two of you to simply relax before you get to that point. You are too nervous about performing, and performing without her feet, and she is nervous about her feet being sweaty, smelly and undesireable. Put on soft music, have some wine, and relax. Enjoy each other. Talk to each other. If you make sure to tell her how pretty she is, how much you love her, how much you enjoy her, particularly her sweaty hands and feet! Make sure she knows you are fine with them, and in fact turned on by them! She doesn't have to worry! Tell her, she may think it is strange, but her hands and feet really excite you! They turn you on. Do lots of touching and massaging all over her body, relax her first, she then won't pull anything away because you will be giving her pleasure. Slowly bring her foot to your face, and tell her how much it turns you on! You then will be hard when you enter her! IT IS OK TO LIKE FEET, IT IS OK FOR THEM TO TURN YOU ON! Go with it! Don't BE SO FEARFUL! SEX IS BEAUTIFUL! TIME, AND EXPERIENCE make it easier and better. Each time you learn something new, from movement, timing, positioning, and most of all communication! TALK THESE FEARS OUT, and go PLEASURE each other! We have ALL been there at one time, it takes caring, loving, going slow, and be in the moment, and the fears will subside!
 

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Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
 
Okay, ThisisMe373, what you are doing is called, in certain sex-therapy circles, "Self-Spectating" (you are trying to watch and evaluate your performance during the act). CUT THAT OUT!!!

You are far too wrapped up in yourself and your erection. You are much too young to be worrying about your dick and "will it work?" - you'll have plenty of time for that after 50. Your erection will work just fine if you simply relax and focus on her.

Very rarely can a man will his pecker to perform. The fact is that the more you think about it the less likely it is to make an appearance. Stop thinking about it and let the event just happen; you'll be able to present the "Oscar" at the appropriate time.

Think of it this way (borrowing from Zen Buddhism): You are taking a test in school. You are nervous or distracted. You say to yourself, "CONCENTRATE", which does no good the first time so you repeat it...and repeat it. Soon, you are so devoted to the word "Concentrate" that you can barely read the test, let alone understand it.
Instead, you should simply read the question and answer it the best you can. It is NOT a life or death situation. Neither is yours.

As a teacher for the more advanced guitar player, I counsel that one should play boldly, accepting that mistakes will be made.

There is much to be said for being/appearing confident (not cocky) and relaxed.

I could expand on the last two statements. Would rather you consider them.

Oh, and by the way...Stop thinking about yourself and keep HER as your focus.
 

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