23 days out from the solstice, and I'm crabby. The following complaints are mine alone. There's your disclaimer, you lousy punks. Now get off my lawn!
Okay, I'm sick and @#$%ing tired of black toenail polish. I know you wankers love it, but honestly, on 99/100 girls it looks like absolute sh!t. And that 100th girl? She just walked out of the salon, and in ten minutes, thanks to Brownian motion, her polish will look like sh!t too. It is not possible to take good enough care of one's toes to maintain black nail polish. Also, it fails to compliment every skin tone.
Honestly, ladies, black nail polish doesn't look edgy, it doesn't look extreme, it makes me think that you are trying to recapture those days when you were 15 and you were experimenting with dressing like a skank when your mom wasn't looking. Alternatively, maybe your boyfriend saw a stripper he thought was edgy and made you wear the black polish.
Take it off, already, Halloween is over. Go put on the red or pink or french, because, like, you're totally not a mallwalking teenager anymore, fersher. THROW OUT your black nail polish, okay? Wake me when this stupid-ass fashion trend is DONE.
And while we're at it, I hate foot tattoos. When did we make the transition to this creepy, Orwellian society where every girl under 25 has to have a unique and permanent identifier? Did I miss a foot fetish meeting where we all decided to tatt up the girls? Are we sorting them by computer now?
Why not just get a bar code? Except it's not a unique identifier. Ladies, all these tattoos that your bum of a boyfriend thinks are unique and 1-of-a-kind really just blur together in an inky miasma. That tatt he talked you into getting is just like the one on his ex.
Your foot tattoo is NOT the Chinese/Celtic/Latin/Sanskrit word for "Strength," okay? There is only one word that is ever tattooed, and that word is "Skank." Oh, and tatts exaggerate your skin flaws. Just like the black nail polish. Really.
Some of you old guys like me will remember that iconic interview from the 80s where all those Madonna fans are standing outside the concert venue, and that one chick says she dresses identically to Madonna to express her individuality. You know what? Irony was better in the 80s too. You won't find that on YourTubes.
Crabby old man signing off for now. You jerks can write me back with how wrong I am once you download your daily thought-orders from Corporate. But instead of reading your little unique and special little pearls, I'm gonna go eat some fiber and try to move my bowels. My hip hurts. Lousy kids.
Posted by ucflyeah (Member # 32674) on :
An interesting read. I enjoyed it!
Posted by Talos (Member # 39913) on :
I like black because I'm into the whole pale skin black clothing look of a goth/metal girl. But, to each his own.
Posted by hyperion2424 (Member # 39397) on :
Hey Talos, I miss your old tag line, because in fact I did want to fight you about it.
No, just kidding. You wouldn't hit an old man, would you?
Peace out dudes!
Posted by LeDaemon (Member # 198) on :
Posted by Phallus4feet (Member # 31013) on :
LMAO! excellent read and I couldn't help but to picture the old guy from the Disney / Pixar movie UP flailing his fist around in the air. I personally have no preference to nail color. I feel that lighter colors make the lady look more sweet and innocent. Darker colors however make them look a little more "experienced" and who doesnt want that every now and then?
Posted by JustJoe (Member # 9641) on :
I gotta say, this was a very interesting post! I don't waste my time on most since the first few lines loose me....this one was not only well written but well though out. Anyway, I do agree with a lot of what you say but I am sure that won't change a thing in respect to tattoos on feet cause in some circles, tattoos are a fetish in and of themselves for some people. Add that to feet and you have killer combo. As for me, I like polishes that are actual COLORS and it doesn't matter what that is as long as it's not stark white or jet black. As for tattoos on feet, I think covering them up with ink is a sin.
I look at it this way, if you don't like it, pass it up like I do...most of my models wear what I want them to wear and not based on general consensus since I am in it for my own passion first.
Posted by Andy-Laa (Member # 31511) on :
quote:Originally posted by Phallus4feet: LMAO! excellent read and I couldn't help but to picture the old guy from the Disney / Pixar movie UP flailing his fist around in the air. I personally have no preference to nail color. I feel that lighter colors make the lady look more sweet and innocent. Darker colors however make them look a little more "experienced" and who doesnt want that every now and then?
Your name is awesome! xD
Posted by scarlet (Member # 2117) on :
Such vast generalizations, ignorance, and flat out misogynism I don't know whether to respond seriously or take it as intentionally exaggerated word vomit.
In all of your post you never referred to women as having a mind of their own. You assume all women are stuck in some perpetual state of teenage-hood in which all of their fashion choices and preferences are determined by their "bum boyfriend" or sociological trends. It appears unfathomable for you to imagine girls do these things because they like them, and not because their boyfriend "makes them" do anything. You may not like it, but these women doing it seem more intelligent than you.
[ November 28, 2010, 12:53 PM: Message edited by: scarlet ]
Posted by oscarthemonkey (Member # 1692) on :
Funny stuff ,hyperion......
Posted by Beautifulfeetonline.com (Member # 13717) on :
foot tattoos = awesome! I'm with ya on the toenail polish thingy though
Posted by Patrick (Member # 1169) on :
I am soooooooooooooooooooooo glad girls don't all wear French Pedicures. You want to talk about a pedicure that looks like shit soon after walking out of the salon - this would be it.
While I can take or leave black, I can say that about every color. I'm glad girls are not sheep and stick with two basic colors like red and pink - that would be lame.
As for tattoos, I don't have any and probably never will. I lean more to the side of not liking them on girls, but from my experiences, the girls are the ones that want them - not their boyfriends.
Patrick
Posted by Podder (Member # 15888) on :
Also not a fan of the black polish or tattoos. But then, I'm a product of the 1960s, so maybe it's a generational thing.
As for the pseudo individuality you refer to, that's a sad sign of the times, and a measure of the corporate co-opting of what may have started out as marginal and edgy but which too often in capitalist society becomes mainstreamed into someting safely marketable but stripped of whatever radical origins it may have had.
Posted by canIsmellYourFeet (Member # 11183) on :
Wow, I really don't care either way. Ashey feet or corns are what bug *me*.
Posted by SOLEMAN 13 (Member # 33699) on :
While not crazed about foot tattoo's myself, I wouldn't mind being the tattooist.
Posted by Rider Aldebaran (Member # 38525) on :
quote:Originally posted by Talos: I like black because I'm into the whole pale skin black clothing look of a goth/metal girl. But, to each his own.
I agree.
But I can work with black polish on any girl, really. At this point, it's my favorite color on toes.
Posted by slavetofeet (Member # 3072) on :
Black nail polish is by far the HOTTEST color. Now get out of here you crusty old hag. LOL.
Posted by Talos (Member # 39913) on :
quote:Originally posted by hyperion2424: Hey Talos, I miss your old tag line, because in fact I did want to fight you about it.
No, just kidding. You wouldn't hit an old man, would you?
Btw, how old are you?
Posted by Scotty7493 (Member # 13127) on :
I don't mind the black polish. I can look past that and appreciate the pair of feet they coat.
As far as the tats go, I'm not a huge fan of them. A small subtle classy tat around the ankle or face of the foot is alright, but when the tats start to get so large the feet become lost and are only used as a canvas for art, I don't agree with.
Seems tats on the feet are a huge thing on the west coast. Before this topic came up I was cruising the pics on the contributions section (particularly "California Beach Feet") and thinking to myself whats up with all the fucking tats on the feet?
Posted by hyperion2424 (Member # 39397) on :
Talos: 41.
Scotty: Yes, the most recent contributions inspired this rant.
Laters!
Posted by Talos (Member # 39913) on :
41? That's not old. I'm 22, one of my good friends is 44. Sometimes I feel like he's a long lost brother or cousin.
Posted by Hal (Member # 3484) on :
I laughed out loud, even though I love black polish and I don`t mind foot tattoos too much. And I´m old, too.
-Hal-
PS. The black polish fashion hasn`t seemed to reach Germany yet...I hardly ever see girls with dark polish. Creamy colours and light-grey were in this summer.
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
LOL! Too funny! I don't mind the black toenail polish as a change of pace every once in awhile. However, I can see that it's now getting overplayed, just like French pedicures have been overplayed for the last few years now. I totally agree on the tattoos. I don't like seeing them on feet, let alone on any other parts of a woman's body. I'll never understand why tattoos have suddenly become fashionable.
Posted by Patrick (Member # 1169) on :
Find French Toast and French Fries more yummy than French Pedicures. Sorry, unless on a super tan light skinned girl, or a dark skinned one, they look boring.
Patrick
Posted by Talos (Member # 39913) on :
Wow, I didn't know this many people had opposition to tattoos and black polish. Leave it to me to be the odd one...
Posted by hyperion2424 (Member # 39397) on :
Talos: Odd is good! I like french and lots of people don't. It's all cool.
Let's go get a beer. Lots of good ones here in the upper midwest.
h
Posted by combine_hunter (Member # 39526) on :
I like tats (besides the rosary), black polish, and French pedicures.
And metal.
Posted by Talos (Member # 39913) on :
quote:Originally posted by hyperion2424: Talos: Odd is good! I like french and lots of people don't. It's all cool.
Let's go get a beer. Lots of good ones here in the upper midwest.
h
Got Killian's and Newcastle? I go straight for the Jager, lol. I live in Georgia, but I'm from Illinois. Are you farther north than that?
Posted by dougiezerts (Member # 6829) on :
I'm an older guy too--48--and I love black nail polish and foot tattoos!
Posted by kingler (Member # 40920) on :
Wow, I completely agree!
Though my preference is far more narrow. I don't like nail polish at all, I think I also missed a meeting. One that said getting a mouthful of bad chemicals was a good thing.
Tattoos are pretty skanky too. It's funny. All the girls who I used to know at school have them, along with children whilst they were children. I never saw a tattoo whilst I was studying at Oxford. And I'm glad too. I just find it hilarious that people get them to be individual, when they just well, another poster put it better than I will.
I tell you what I don't like too.
Toe rings. What on this glorious planet are they for?
Posted by FIASCo (Member # 1899) on :
I like black nail polish on pretty toes, especially on Dee's! That's my favorite color on her.
I don't care for tattoos on feet as a general rule, but I have come across a few exceptions.
Posted by Five For Feet (Member # 33596) on :
I like black polish, I like foot tattoos, but I LOVE your rant! Highly entertaining. Posted by combine_hunter (Member # 39526) on :
quote:Originally posted by kingler: Toe rings. What on this glorious planet are they for?
Decoration, of course.
Posted by Keyfeet (Member # 27313) on :
you are just a regular lewis black arent you? Posted by Weekend_Warrior (Member # 2662) on :
As I read hyperion's rant...I sware I could hear Andy Rooney's voice!
Now that you've mentioned it, can't really say I don't enjoy tattooed feet! never had the pleasure Then again, I do enjoy the occasional photo.
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