We also need to not be so scarcity-minded, meaning to think once we get a girl who likes/loves us, we need to hold onto her for dear life. Think with abundance. So many of us men cling to women who we land, either through friends, or on our own, that we bend over backward and lose ourselves just to keep them.
Then dudes who do the opposite of what we do, come along, and get them to cheat on us, or outright steal them from us. What do we do? We go through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
Denial - it wasn't me, it was her Anger - mad at her and the dude Bargaining - if you only did this, or did that Depression - you are alone and lonely again Acceptance - ok, its over...time to move on
Its no wonder the T&A cavemen get all the women, while foot guys stand on the sidelines in envy. If you take a few cues from them, learn to pick up women, and never be afraid to lose a girl, you will have more women, and more feet in your lives. Get girls to sign on with you, don't sign on with them!
Women don't want guys who will roll over for them. They don't want guys who always agree with them. They don't want guys who are afraid to offend them. They don't want guys who put them in the driver's seat in a relationship.
What women say they want, isn't what ultimately attracts them. What they tell us they want in a guy, isn't what they want in a guy. Think about it! If that were true, just about every pretty to super hot girl would be with a 6'2 standup comedian who cries at sad movies and tells jokes with a dog on stage, or something like that.
Far too many guys come on this board and the other board to ask if they should tell their women about their foot fetish. They ask if they should stay with a girls who doesn't like feet, or to have theirs touched. They whine about girls who are with guys who ignore their feet. I think you get the picture.
I will leave you with this quote from a very famous movie.
"You can act like a man!" -Don Corleone, The Godfather
Posted by Rider Aldebaran (Member # 38525) on :
quote:Originally posted by jediofthefeet: We also need to not be so scarcity-minded, meaning to think once we get a girl who likes/loves us, we need to hold onto her for dear life.
...
and never be afraid to lose a girl, you will have more women, and more feet in your lives.
Well, some of us see something of a future with certain women. Especially if she meets most or all of the physical and personality requirements that we find appealing. There are also those of us who would rather have relationships than flings, and losing women like that would be a blow to anyone.
I can see where you're coming from, but there isn't just one way to get women, unless you're just looking for short-term stuff.
Posted by Alcarde (Member # 44028) on :
For the most part, if you plan to have any future with that woman, then tell her, she will be happy about the truth. On the other hand, after you tell the truth, you may get that closed minded woman who just goes "ewww" and if that woman breaks up with you over feet, then she never was really into you in the first place. As a married guy, if there is love involved, you are willing to do anything to be with her. As such, she should be willing to give you her feet, if she really loves you.
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
There are quite a few good points being made here.
There are a few things I've learned over the years. Among the most important things I've learned are: 1) Women like it when men lead, 2) Women are much more likely to be okay with your foot fetish once they are comfortable being around you, and 3) If you treat your foot fetish as a natural thing for you and you don't make a big deal about it, then women won't make a big deal about it either.
A lot of guys are worried about finding the "right moment" to tell a girl they have a foot fetish. To me, words aren't needed. Actions, in my opinion, speak louder than words. If a girl is comfortable with you, you can lead a girl by taking the initiative and escalate from a foot massage to sucking on her toes/licking her feet to getting a footjob and she will be fine with it.
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
quote:Originally posted by jediofthefeet: What women say they want, isn't what ultimately attracts them. What they tell us they want in a guy, isn't what they want in a guy.
Been trying to educate the foot community on these points for years. Ultimately, most aren't able to believe/understand this, even when presented with repeated evidences.
As a result, many AFCs will live on their knees when it comes to women, while the real men will spew gobs of hot cum onto these barefoot dream girls. Hackackackackackackackackackackaaaa!
Posted by Arch_Analyst (Member # 28756) on :
Even if you want a long-term deal with woman, that is no excuse to put up with a significant amount of her bullshit.
Certainly there would need to be compromise, but IMO too many guys are pussy whipped and too chicken shit of being alone and, as a result, they let their women steam roll them into submission -- sometimes subtly, other times not so subtly.
Posted by Janet Mason (Member # 24724) on :
As a woman, I thought this "advice" was hilarious. Funny how some people (certainly not all people, and the distinction is crucial) like to imagine (and make no mistake...the words "like to" and "imagine" are accurate) that "all" women are this way or that way - or that "all" of any group you can imagine act/think/speak/believe only in a specific way.
The self-evident irony is that they think of THEMSELVES as different from their OWN group (in this case, men) because they clearly point out the difference between how THEY act/think and how the "OTHER MEN" act/think...and then tell the other (inferior) party how they can change for the "better"...which, conveniently, means to be more like they are.
Maybe it's just me...but I've never met a single man, woman, child, blonde, redhead, cop, lawyer, lesbian, preacher or ANY OTHER group member who was just like, or thought like/acted like, or believed the exact same things as every OTHER man, woman, child, blonde, redhead, cop, lawyer, lesbian, preacher or whatever.
Is my life experience really so quantifiably different - and is my intellect so lacking - that I have simply missed the boat on reality? That, really and truly, ALL WOMEN are the same and want the SAME kind of man? And that we need a guy to tell us that and offer "advice" on how to deal with that "fact"?
I think not. But then again, I'm just a woman, right? LOL
I'll have to inform my husband/webmaster/photographer Steve, too. He's neither a "cave man" nor is he a "wimp"; I don't treat him like dirt nor vice-versa; taking "crap" from the other is not and never has been a concern for either party. Perhaps the reason we've been happily married for over 22 years and still are very clearly in love to any and all people who've met us (and that includes a LOT of guys here on this forum who have either shot foot fetish clips/photos with us or have seen me for private foot worship sessions) is that we are "wrong"?
[ June 26, 2012, 06:46 PM: Message edited by: Janet Mason ]
Posted by GQguy (Member # 16534) on :
quote:Originally posted by Janet Mason: As a woman, I thought this "advice" was hilarious. Funny how some people (certainly not all people, and the distinction is crucial) like to imagine (and make no mistake...the words "like to" and "imagine" are accurate) that "all" women are this way or that way - or that "all" of any group you can imagine act/think/speak/believe only in a specific way.
The self-evident irony is that they think of THEMSELVES as different from their OWN group (in this case, men) because they clearly point out the difference between how THEY act/think and how the "OTHER MEN" act/think...and then tell the other (inferior) party how they can change for the "better"...which, conveniently, means to be more like they are.
Maybe it's just me...but I've never met a single man, woman, child, blonde, redhead, cop, lawyer, lesbian, preacher or ANY OTHER group member who was just like, or thought like/acted like, or believed the exact same things as every OTHER man, woman, child, blonde, redhead, cop, lawyer, lesbian, preacher or whatever.
Is my life experience really so quantifiably different - and is my intellect so lacking - that I have simply missed the boat on reality? That, really and truly, ALL WOMEN are the same? And that we need a guy to tell us that and offer "advice" on how to deal with that "fact"?
I think not. But then again, I'm just a woman, right? LOL
Nope. All women are not the same. But there are many trends. Trends that some guys will pick up on after dating many women. You'd be surprised at how simple women are....but then again you are already familiar with how simple men are. Sure your lowcut blouse might not have the desired effect on ALL men, but 85% isn't a bad conversion. Your experience is orders of magnitude different. Your boat on OUR reality set sail days ago. Of course you can say the same thing about me and my understanding of how to attract men! You've never been male trying to attract women. Your experience therefore is lacking. It's like asking me how to attract a man, i'd say bake some cookies and wear as little as possible....but that's theory. I've never actually tried to attract a man before as a female. I've never truly had a real conversation with myself on what really attracts me to a woman. And even if I did....i'm just one man. One man's opinion. A woman that has dealt successfully with numerous men however knows what works and what doesn't work and is now able to pick out the trends. Sure guys say they want XYZ....but you'd know from experience that ABC is really what most men want.
Women will always laugh at the advice that men give other men when it comes to picking up and attracting women. Men who take advice from women on attracting women will build a better platonic relationship with the woman giving the advice but fail with every other woman.
I will say for everything else women are a trove of information. But attraction is a weird thing. We're often not honest with ourselves. This is why jerks always get the girl and bitches always seem to be able to get that awesome buddy of yours to buy a ring.
GQ
P.S. Looking forward to the launch of the new site!
Posted by Tyler D. (Member # 11452) on :
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: But attraction is a weird thing. We're often not honest with ourselves.
quote:Originally posted by Janet Mason: As a woman, I thought this "advice" was hilarious. Funny how some people (certainly not all people, and the distinction is crucial) like to imagine (and make no mistake...the words "like to" and "imagine" are accurate) that "all" women are this way or that way - or that "all" of any group you can imagine act/think/speak/believe only in a specific way.
The self-evident irony is that they think of THEMSELVES as different from their OWN group (in this case, men) because they clearly point out the difference between how THEY act/think and how the "OTHER MEN" act/think...and then tell the other (inferior) party how they can change for the "better"...which, conveniently, means to be more like they are.
Maybe it's just me...but I've never met a single man, woman, child, blonde, redhead, cop, lawyer, lesbian, preacher or ANY OTHER group member who was just like, or thought like/acted like, or believed the exact same things as every OTHER man, woman, child, blonde, redhead, cop, lawyer, lesbian, preacher or whatever.
Is my life experience really so quantifiably different - and is my intellect so lacking - that I have simply missed the boat on reality? That, really and truly, ALL WOMEN are the same? And that we need a guy to tell us that and offer "advice" on how to deal with that "fact"?
I think not. But then again, I'm just a woman, right? LOL
Nope. All women are not the same. But there are many trends. Trends that some guys will pick up on after dating many women. You'd be surprised at how simple women are....but then again you are already familiar with how simple men are. Sure your lowcut blouse might not have the desired effect on ALL men, but 85% isn't a bad conversion. Your experience is orders of magnitude different. Your boat on OUR reality set sail days ago. Of course you can say the same thing about me and my understanding of how to attract men! You've never been male trying to attract women. Your experience therefore is lacking. It's like asking me how to attract a man, i'd say bake some cookies and wear as little as possible....but that's theory. I've never actually tried to attract a man before as a female. I've never truly had a real conversation with myself on what really attracts me to a woman. And even if I did....i'm just one man. One man's opinion. A woman that has dealt successfully with numerous men however knows what works and what doesn't work and is now able to pick out the trends. Sure guys say they want XYZ....but you'd know from experience that ABC is really what most men want.
Women will always laugh at the advice that men give other men when it comes to picking up and attracting women. Men who take advice from women on attracting women will build a better platonic relationship with the woman giving the advice but fail with every other woman.
I will say for everything else women are a trove of information. But attraction is a weird thing. We're often not honest with ourselves. This is why jerks always get the girl and bitches always seem to be able to get that awesome buddy of yours to buy a ring.
GQ
P.S. Looking forward to the launch of the new site!
Wow, very well said, GQ That cookie comment had me in stitches!
Sarah <3
Posted by 2nd. To God In Power (Member # 23391) on :
Once again, GQGuy has nailed it.
Posted by Janet Mason (Member # 24724) on :
After re-reading this thread, I think I actually mistook the original poster's intentions...and instead was caught up in the linguistics of it all. As such, I'm going to retract my initial (long) response.
As a 45 year old woman who has enjoyed foot fetish play since I was in high school and who has been very, very happily married to a wonderful man for over 22 years - one who not only has a foot fetish himself, but allows me to express my own interest in it freely with others - I can't relate to the "conflict" issues discussed here. Never in my life have I had any kind of even minor relationship with with either "wimpy" guys nor "cave man" guys. Both are extremes, not the norm.
I definitely agree that "foot lovers" should be more assertive in their interests, though. Steve brought up his interest on our second date, and I know it was hard for him as he had NO idea I was into foot fetish play myself. That was way back in 1989 and here we are today, both loving it more than ever, and no regrets.
Posted by DeadGoon (Member # 24278) on :
quote:Originally posted by Janet Mason:
Never in my life have I had any kind of even minor relationship with with either "wimpy" guys nor "cave man" guys. Both are extremes, not the norm.
I sort of agree. I think using the "caveman/jerk" thing can be a bit of a risky example to use for improving yourself with women. Rather than just working on assertiveness and confidence. You can just come off as just plain offensive, arrogant and immature as opposed to charismatic, fun, charming, witty etc. One of the best players I know pretty much takes "the middle path" and can leave your stereotypical "alpha" in the dust. I learned a bit from him, but pretty much have my own style, like most of us do anyway...
Posted by longhitter04 (Member # 2391) on :
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Men who take advice from women on attracting women will build a better platonic relationship with the woman giving the advice but fail with every other woman.
![[Bow Down]](graemlins/bowdown2.gif)
![[Jerkoff]](graemlins/jerkoff.gif)
Hackackackackackackackackackackaaaa!
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