Hey everyone. I haven't posted here in a very long time, but i have a story i just needed to vent to someone. About 6 years ago a girl i know wanted to use my computer to fill out a job application. After she was done she wanted to show me some pictures on her yahoo. After the pictures were done and she clicked on the next, instead of a pic, it started showing my internet cookies. She kept clicking through them and they were mostly associated with foot fetish websites, i guess i was surfing feet the night before lol. I was mortified and embarrassed at a new level that i didn't know existed, and I was frozen as she continued to click through them (I had no idea at the time these sites left behind tracking cookie pictures). All she said was "thats a lot of feet", and kept clicking. She never came over or called me again after that, and i'm quite sure she pegged me as a pervert freak even though we had been friends since high school. Cut to present day, a friend of mines mother died and this girl was at the funeral, I couldn't attend because of my work schedule. Anyway, my friend said that she was spreading this old story around to some high school acquaintances at the funeral, and i don't know how to fully express my anger and frustration. This was old news to me, and i had almost forgotten about it until today. What should I do? Just try to forget about it and move on? Or should I contact her and express my hatred and disbelief that she could spread this around after 6 or 7 years, no less at a memorial service.
Posted by acebg (Member # 2056) on :
I'd forget about it. The damage, if any, is done. She might remember it, but I'm sure everyone she talked to will forget it or not care (maybe some are foot lovers themselves), especially with everything else that may have happened at the funeral. If you contact her and stir it up, will probably make things worse.
Posted by houseshooz (Member # 10572) on :
That's the sole purpose (no pun) of a gossip is to get a reaction out of people and enhance their boring lives. If you respond, she'll just get the attention she desires. Forget about it, especially given the circumstances. It's not really your time or hers either and I'm sure other people are noticing how tacky it is to be preoccupied with old high school gossip at a funeral.
On the plus side, a lot of chicks are like us. By that I mean into foot guys and she's just giving you free press. Let it ride and you might get some chicks calling you later.
Posted by DeTrOiT (Member # 37598) on :
That would be an emotional move sir...I wouldn't even acknowledge it at all. At the end of the day its true....DON'T LET PEOPLE USE YOUR COMPUTER...I don't even like people using my phone...She should have never been going through your history either...But you gave her the power by allowing her to use your PC...that's just why they call it a PC...It's for personal use...
Posted by foot_sniffer81 (Member # 5909) on :
Wow,unbelievable indeed!
This says everything about her. Rightly, you're mad, and i'd probably feel the same way as you.
However, as others have rightly pointed out, don't contact her. Don't give her any satisfaction.
She simply isn't worth the attention, not after she didn't contact you for 6 years.
Posted by Mr. Manny (Member # 6895) on :
Do not express hatred. It can get you into a lot of trouble. Either try to forget it and move on or seek the advice of a lawyer. You could contact her and meet her at a public place with a witness or preferably send her a very civil letter (make a copy of it and send it registered mail) asking her politely to please stop spreading these stories because you contacted your lawyer and are considering legal action. The only thing you were guilty of doing was trying to help her out and that she chose to repay the favor by invading your privacy and maliciously spreading rumors about you. She may think it's funny but that she is actually revealing a dark aspect about herself to the people to whom she is sharing these stories with. Tell her you know for a fact that you heard that she went out of her way to share this story in an effort to maliciously hurt your reputation and to get laughs at your expense. Getting angry and losing your cool will do more harm to your reputation than if you just remain cool headed and let it fly over your head. Good luck.
Posted by FIASCo (Member # 1899) on :
Aron, speaking to her at all would be a bad idea, and trying to get her to stop talking about what happened an even worse one. Both of those things will very likely exacerbate the situation.
Posted by aron (Member # 13913) on :
Yeah, i guess ill have to let it go. I was so mad about it today hah. She was my old roommates ex girlfriend, i remember she ran off with the dude that slept on our couch. She was a cute girl back then, but not very bright. I suppose not much has changed in 6 years=).
Posted by Jiao (Member # 44950) on :
I'm sorry, but what a bunch of lame ass advice. Ok, let's all check our chips on the table! Don't get mad... get even... if you can. That kind of bullshit is only exceptibul if you are a women, cause if you are a guy, and you pull that shit, I'm kicking your ass.
Posted by screwhead20 (Member # 16242) on :
I'm sure the people she told could give 2 shits to be honest.. I hate gossipers myself but no one will even remember after a week, trust me.. No need for embarrassment. She'll probably get hit by a bus anyways
Posted by larrrr (Member # 42092) on :
Getting angry and hateful will only make the situation worse and make you look even more fucked up as having a foot fetish. If it were me I'd real cool and calm about it, and discuss it with her or whoever she told if they came to me with it. Otherwise, I'd just not worry about it and move on. Unless she can prove it, it's just talk.
Posted by Sol (Member # 2476) on :
The absolute best thing you can do is to act like nothing's happened. If you react to it and start attacking her, it will just make you look really bad and will confirm everything she's been spreading.
On the other hand, if you are completely unreactive and shrug it off it will just look like some stupid rumour about an event that happened all those years ago.
Your natural reaction is to confront her and express your anger, but this will only make it worse for you. If you forget it, everyone else will too.
Posted by Panic (Member # 21074) on :
Some good advice in here. Just let it go and go about your life; it is obvious she is closed minded and not worth your time.
Posted by screwhead20 (Member # 16242) on :
quote:Originally posted by Spotlight: I'm telling you again, the real way to smooth this over is to get those feet. Think about how she's gonna look when she's with you!
LOL
Posted by Fate111 (Member # 2627) on :
quote:Originally posted by houseshooz: That's the sole purpose (no pun) of a gossip is to get a reaction out of people and enhance their boring lives. If you respond, she'll just get the attention she desires. Forget about it, especially given the circumstances. It's not really your time or hers either and I'm sure other people are noticing how tacky it is to be preoccupied with old high school gossip at a funeral.
Agreed! It was a low class move on her part to even bring it up under the circumstances that she did and it was probably a way to draw attention to herself. And, like others have said already, don't bother to confront her. The less of a big deal you make about it, the less of a big deal it will be for everyone.
Posted by mattu2 (Member # 9895) on :
She sounds like a jerk. But why bother with revenge? All that would do would be to make you look like you're embarrassed about liking feet. And if someone says something or asks just say, "Yeah I do". Because big friggin deal, you like feet, so what? Not like she discovered you had the cure for cancer but were hiding it, then she may have had a cause to tell others.
Posted by Fair Adam (Member # 13350) on :
Yeah, I agree that what she did was totally uncalled for, and inappropriate, considering the circumstances, so I don't blame you for feeling anger and disappointment.
One of the things I've learned about being in this business though, is that it's futile to affect they way others see you, and how they feel about you, so just fuck them all and move on.
Sometimes, when people are confronted with that which they don't understand, their reaction will based on fear and ignorance, but since you're not a criminal and are not engaged in anything harmful to anyone, that's their problem, not yours.
I have spoken.
Adam
"I'm the one who's going to have to die when it's my turn to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to". - Jimi Hendrix "If 6 was 9"
[ August 15, 2012, 06:38 PM: Message edited by: Fair Adam ]
Posted by longhitter04 (Member # 2391) on :
That's a tough situation.
Don't fret too much about it. She probably wasn't much of a friend in the first place if she did this.
My advice to you... Own it. Just own it. If someone asks you about it, just say "Yeah, I dig chicks with pretty feet" with confidence. No one will give a shit after that.
Posted by hyperion (Member # 39397) on :
Practice your disinterested shrug.
Gossip about someone's internet cookies from x years ago? At a funeral?
If this hadn't happened to you, you could more easily see it--and her--for what it--and she--is.
People like her are cancerous and live for this kind of stuff. It's absolutely all she has going for her in her pathetic life. Everybody at the service knows that.
Don't confront her, don't contact an attorney, don't try to shoot her feet, just divest yourself of her and her toxicity. Keep her and people like her at a distance.
Life is too damn short to give people like this any time. Go have a beer.