I have had a girlfriend for a year now, and we are very happy together.
The problem is: I dont have the guts to tell her about my foot fetish.
Why? Two reasons. The first time we had sex (12 months ago), i told her to take off her socks. She then replied: Oh, i hope you dont have a thing for feet.
I was embarresed and said "no, of course not".
The second reason: I am very scared that our relationship will be in danger if i tell her about my fetish, and i cant take the embarresment of her seeing me as a freak.
I have kissed her feet a couple of times, and i think she knows i think they are quite sexy, but she does not know that my fetish is huge.
Now, over to my question:
I am travelling to Zurich, Switzerland in a couple of weeks. I am seriosly considering bying an escort girl, so i can fullfill my fantasy of really exploring my fetish.
I dont want to cheat, but it is driving me crazy that i never get to experience my fetish without shame.
What would you do? Telling her about my fetish is not an option.
Thanks for listening.
Posted by Rider Aldebaran (Member # 38525) on :
If you try stick with her without telling her of a very important part of your sexual identity, then it's just not going to work out. Period.
You're going to have to either tell her about your fetish, or break up with her if she won't accept it as who you are. If she really loved you, then even if she finds it disgusting, she would make it work; hell, she may even come to like it.
I'd also recommend against getting an escort as long as you're with her, especially if you don't want to cheat. It's always possible that news of you with the escort will reach her, and then you'll really be in trouble.
Posted by hyperion (Member # 39397) on :
Tell her or break up. Any other decision or failure to act is the wrong one that comes from fear of confrontation or fear of action or fear of change.
Speaking not about the fetish at all, just relationships in general, I can say this: Looking back on my youth, made the wrong decision more than once.
"Regret" eventually fades into that hoary wisdom of middle-age. A lot of us, for this reason, are going to tell you the same thing.
Tell her or dump her; either way, set yourself--and her--free.
Posted by kingler (Member # 40920) on :
If you can't just tell her (and that isn't always the best way) then build up to it. with my first girlfriend I just started to massage more, then kiss more. It might be good to just up and say you find her feet sexy, and if she turns you down go to Zurich with absolutely no guilt in hiring a prostitute. apart from the obvious shame.
Posted by babeflover (Member # 2953) on :
If you tell her, It might, just might no go well. on the other hand, If you don't tell her, It will definitely go shitty. Can you imagine anyone of us going thru life without enjoying something we love so much. Just tell her.
Posted by Arch_Analyst (Member # 28756) on :
You are in a tough situation.
My first inclination is to advise you to tell her the truth and if she can't accept you for who you really are -- fuck her.
That said, it might be foolish to leave a girl that is otherwise great because she does not want to engage your foot fetish.
In the end I would probably tell her. If she's not into it, you might consider asking her if you can get some foot action on the side. Seriously, she might not see it as cheating in the same way that having sex is cheating and tell you to go for it. Just make sure she knows it just about exploring your inner foot freak and that you're not interested in being with anyone but her.
I convinced my ex to let me get footjobs from different girls every now and then. I explained that I only wanted sex from her, but because of years of suppression I still needed to explore my foot fetish. She was cool with it.
Worse comes to worse, you get a new girl.
Regarding the escort thing, it's wrong, but I would not look down on you if you were getting foot action on the side from escorts.
Posted by jamaicanfeet (Member # 16678) on :
Theres no way I can start a relationship with someone without them knowing first.
Posted by Bladesman38 (Member # 45092) on :
In my experience its impossible to hide a foot fetish particularly if yours is a strong as mine. You have been together for a year now so she must like you. I would tell her. Tell her its a big part of you. She may not get it but at least your worrying can stop. By the way if her feet are really nice you have everything to gain! Without the guilt of going to an escort. If she can't accept it or wont let you have her feet then use an escort. Either way you have to indulge your love of female feet as life is too short mate. Good luck
Posted by acebg (Member # 2056) on :
I don't know why you have to "tell" her. I never told my wife, she just came to realize it. Here's an approach you can try...start off once in awhile offering a foot massage with foot lotion (make it warm). Just do a good job so she'll enjoy it and look forward to it (in other words, act like it's about her, not that you're getting off on it). If that goes well, increase the frequency of massages. Let her know you like to make her feel relaxed.
If that's going well, you can start to take it up a notch. I'm not sure how you get your thrills...for me, it's hosiery and I started asking my wife to wear hose because I liked the feel of it during my massage treatments. She then learned I simply like to watch her feet (she's a big time wiggler) and that's all there is to it. I watch her feet and she does whatever (TV, computer, phone calls, etc.) She lets me put various types of hosiery on her feet and that's all I ask of her.
Get at her feet and slowly work up to what you want. If she doesn't learn to accept (or even enjoy) you fetish, it's not going to work, unless maybe if she gives you permission to get your thrill with another woman's feet (or videos). Good luck.
Posted by feetluvr (Member # 1570) on :
As one who did not divulge my fetish to my wife for many, many years I agree with the others who say - tell her. If she really cares about you she'll be open minded and work with you to understand and hopefully accept your fetish. I wish I had told my (now wife) before we got married. I think I would have then enjoyed her feet our entire married life rather than just the last several years. Early on in our marriage my wife wouldn't let me touch her feet largely because they were so ticklish. After I told her, not only could I do anything with them I wanted but any time she could shed give me her feet to rub and caress. In addition she started wearing foot jewelry 24/7, taking phenomenal care of her feet and started collecting flip flops and sandals. So go for it!
Posted by Peter, Peter (Member # 40235) on :
GROW a pair my friend, there is a lot of good advice here. But ultimately its up to you, grad her foot and start with a massage, then small kisses and like it has already been said. Compiment her on her feet, as many times as possible but don;t forget to tell her how beautiful she looks (That comes first). Then drop it, tell her you have a thing for pretty feet.
Posted by ddash1985 (Member # 18676) on :
WTF is wrong with people.
I have never understood why guys are afraid to tell their woman and especially their damn wife that they like their feet or have a foot fetish.
It is the craziest thing in the world because you having a foot fetish really benefits them.There is no downside for the women.I don't know a women who doesn't like foot massages daily,shoes,pedicures,and the extra attention.
Grow a pair and tell her.If she can't accept something as small as this then she is not worth it.Its crazy you are willing to risk jail or an STD but cant tell her something so small lol.
And seriously to all the married men afraid to tell their wives,you ought to be ashamed.
I tell a chick within the first 5 minutes,maybe less lol.
Posted by LeDaemon (Member # 198) on :
First time you are intimate with a woman is when they should know straight off the bat. Said it many times before I got a FJ from my wife on our first date and she had never had anyone mess with her feet before that ever!
If a girl is into you there is no way they will break it off with you just because you dig feet. Shit, after a year invested into each other I seriously doubt she will run off screaming in fear. She will probably be annoyed with you for lying in the first place however I'm sure she will accept it after an initial 3rd degree for keeping secrets.
Advice, don't get the escort and instead do what you want to do with her before your trip. When you get back if she hasn't packed up all her stuff and left I would assume she will be good for many more rounds of foot fun.
Posted by lexisfeetrule (Member # 30390) on :
I say tell her and DO NOT go see the prostitute. She will respect you far more for telling her something personal about yourself and being vulnerable to her than if you see a prostitute. And you will respect yourself more too. I doubt she will leave you. She may feel a little hurt that you haven't told her, or she may tease you, but I think that part of being in a relationship is being vulnerable and opening up to your girlfriend and trusting her.
Also, just bring it up casually. If you sit her down and make a big deal out of it, she might be put off.
Posted by gaaserud (Member # 38425) on :
quote:Originally posted by acebg: I don't know why you have to "tell" her. I never told my wife, she just came to realize it. Here's an approach you can try...start off once in awhile offering a foot massage with foot lotion (make it warm). Just do a good job so she'll enjoy it and look forward to it (in other words, act like it's about her, not that you're getting off on it). If that goes well, increase the frequency of massages. Let her know you like to make her feel relaxed.
If that's going well, you can start to take it up a notch. I'm not sure how you get your thrills...for me, it's hosiery and I started asking my wife to wear hose because I liked the feel of it during my massage treatments. She then learned I simply like to watch her feet (she's a big time wiggler) and that's all there is to it. I watch her feet and she does whatever (TV, computer, phone calls, etc.) She lets me put various types of hosiery on her feet and that's all I ask of her.
Get at her feet and slowly work up to what you want. If she doesn't learn to accept (or even enjoy) you fetish, it's not going to work, unless maybe if she gives you permission to get your thrill with another woman's feet (or videos). Good luck.
Thanks for all the good advice, people. Really appreciate it.
I think i will go with this approach. It will be more weird - i think - if we sit down and have a conversation about it.
I never "told" her i like boobs either:)
My thing is sucking on toes, so i will try it soon and see how she reacts. If she screams or something like that, then i will "tell" her.
I will let you know how it turns out.
(Love this forum, btw)
Posted by Patrick (Member # 1169) on :
I sometimes see why girls are cautious about some of us. After reading some emails and forum comments I can see some of us treating the girls like they don't exist above the ankle. As long as you don't fall into that, you should be fine. If she doesn't respect your kinks and you're not being a creep with them, then that's her fault - not yours. As for the escort, yeah... I wouldn't.
Patrick
Posted by LeDaemon (Member # 198) on :
Get busy tonight then and report back!
Posted by Jiao (Member # 44950) on :
quote:Originally posted by gaaserud: [QUOTE] I think i will go with this approach. It will be more weird - i think - if we sit down and have a conversation about it.
I never "told" her i like boobs either:)
My thing is sucking on toes, so i will try it soon and see how she reacts. If she screams or something like that, then i will "tell" her.
I will let you know how it turns out.
(Love this forum, btw)
Well, we are all foot brothers (and sisters). We feel your pain and celebrate you joy!
Posted by bluetoelover (Member # 14736) on :
Go balls deep in her and then just grab her feet and jam em' in your mouth. She tries to yank them away just grab em' right back and she will realize what you like. You won't have to say a thing Posted by Drunk_24-7 (Member # 21781) on :
LeDaemon nailed it. You don't need to have a conversation. Just next time you're intimate, start sucking her toes while fucking her. If after you're done she engages you in some pillow talk and question it, don't deny it and confidently tell her how sexy her feet are. Make no apologies whatsoever and if you're on a time limit trying to figure out what to do on the road trip, if you can recharge after fucking quite quickly, perhaps suggest a footjob to her to take it to the next level right then and there. How she reacts will allow you to gauge how open minded and cool she's gonna be about the whole deal.
I think if you gave her a good fucking, and you must satisfy her sexually to some degree anyway if you've been together for a year, she's probably going to give it a whirl. You're also likely to cum in her harder than you ever have in your life if you've been thinking about sucking her toes for the past year and you finally fuckin' sack up and do it, you should rock her world, again scoring points in the likelyhood that she's going to want to recieve similar type treatment in the future and use her feet proactively to bring out the animal in you.
I also got a foot job from my wife on our first date and we had quite a funny conversation about it because she declared herself having a "foot phobia" and finding feet gross and disgusting...Well, I had some serious enlighting to do and before I knew it I was sucking, fucking, licking, kissing, rubbing, getting jerked off, getting massages, trampled, smothered, kicked and every other fucking thing under the sun by her sexy feet. If a chick is into you, she can accept anything you're into. If she's cool as fuck, she's likely to not just accept it but get into it. If by chance she can't, well why fucking deny yourself the things you crave most sexually. I mean if you're cool with a chick that doesn't satisfy you completely or allow you to fufill your fantasies, then sure, keep it on the tuck but I could never be satisfied that way myself. I don't think you are either or you wouldn't be considering hiring an escort. Better to lay it all on the table, not thru conversation because that's awkward and unnecessary. Just take the bull by the horns, work some foot fetish activities into your next sexual encounter and see where it goes. It's really not a big deal. If she makes it one, and makes it one for some retarded reason she simply can't deal with, then it's best to know that now before you get in any deeper and if you break up over it, well you got norway's finest to ease your pain.
If she's ok with it, you're all set. She may not jump right into it, but I think odds are she's more than likely to be at least ok with it. Then you don't have to let it bother you or consume you or look elsewhere anymore and can slowly work it in there more and more as she gets more comfortable with it. I think you have better odds she'll be extremely into it and be all over the opportunity to satisfy you in a whole new bunch of ways than there is she'll be freaked out to the point of a break up. I can't tell you there's no chance of that happening but those chances are slim and if some dumb bitch would dump you and end an otherwise solid relationship over the fact you find her feet attractive and sexy, then you're probably doing yourself a favor.
Look at how scared you are that "if you tell her the relationship might be over". Even if she doesn't like it, she would probably "be scared that if she can't figure out how to hangle it, the relationship might be over." So she'll probably at least try and that's all you need. Just show her a good time, be good to those peds and that princess and she'll be good to you back.
If she is cool with it, my biggest recomendation is not to go fucking foot fuckin, mad man wild and forget that she's got several other parts to her that you showed affection to for the past year. Don't go to crazy just cause you get a green light and overwhelm her, that could come off freaky and really make you appear more dishonest for hiding it so long. Just don't make it a big deal but be sure to work it in and make your foot play fun to explore with her rather than something you expect her to just be as into as you are once you tell her about it. If you play it cool and just make it part of your sexual repertoire with confidence and conviction, you are not going to have any problems. I would almost gaurentee it.
Posted by Drunk_24-7 (Member # 21781) on :
haha. In the time it took me to write this, having to stop to go change the little fella's arse in the middle, Bluetoelover came in here and summed it up perfectly in two fucking lines. Posted by Below_the_Ankles (Member # 33795) on :
I'm not going to address how you tell her. It's not something you have to "have a talk" about--you're not coming out of the closet, you just want to suck her toes. Big deal. She's already letting you fuck her.
But I will comment on your fear about it endangering your relationship. Look, you've been together for a year, you're fucking each other, clearly she thinks you're an awesome guy. The fact that you're afraid of your fetish ruining your relationship means you actually care enough about this girl to keep things going. But what good is a relationship that isn't built on solid understanding of each other. If she runs out on you then guess what? There's a ton of other girls who would actually be turned on by you sucking their toes. Find one. They're more common than you think, and it's not because they have this inbuilt fetish for having their toes sucked. It has more to do with them being attracted to you and wanting to please you as much as you please them. So go be that awesome guy. My girlfriend loves it when I stick her feet in my face during sex. Says I have a certain "satisfied" look that turns her on.
Now all that said, what's with the escort? You're afraid to tell your girlfriend about your fetish, so you want to hire an escort to fill that need instead. If you go through with it then you'll have two little secrets that you think will destroy your relationship. The foot thing isn't a big deal, but have fun if she finds out about the escort or your guilt takes over. Temptations sucks but guilt is worse. Think about it.
Best of luck to you.
Posted by LeDaemon (Member # 198) on :
Get busy tonight then and report back!
Posted by gaaserud (Member # 38425) on :
quote:Temptations sucks but guilt is worse. Think about it.[/QB]
Agree. The escort is off the table.
I will give it a go tonight, and report back. Its kind of a great day to do it also, because she is going to a work party tonight, and i guess she is more into new things when she is drunk:)
Thanks again, guys.
Posted by aka.footjoyboy (Member # 32751) on :
It's also quite possible that she wants you to have a foot fetish; sometimes people will indicate the opposite of their true desire.
Posted by wanttosucktoes (Member # 28591) on :
I wouldn't tell her. I would take the approach I took, and it has worked out quite well.
Met my current fiance in freshman year of College. She went to my high school, always thought she had gorgeous feet, very cute girl. Anyways, about 2 months into going out, we were messing around in my bed, and she was naked except her socks.
I was going down on her and I just started like kissing down her legs to her feet and just took her socks off. I didn't suck her toes or do anything to them though, out of fear she would be grossed out. I just took them off. She didn't mind. Few minutes later she was going down on me, and I started just like kinda fingering her, grabbed her leg, kissed up it, brought it up, and went for it. Just starting sucking and kissing her feet. She instantly pulled away, and asked do you like that? I said, I dunno, not really just felt like doing something to you. She said reluctantly, okay. I could tell she was kinda like this is strange lol.
Next day she asked me again, if I have a foot fetish, and I said no, but you have cute feet. She said thanks. And that was really it.
To this day, almost 9 years later, I suck and worship her toes when we have sex, she goes down on me etc. And to this day I deny having a foot fetish, and she really doesn't bring it up. We have a great relationship, she is my best friend. And it's become kind of our thing. My advice to you would be take the same route. Just kind of just deny that you like it, but do it anyways you know? If she truly likes you, she won't mind. My fiance now asks me what color to get when she gets pedicures, she even sometimes puts them in my face when we are having sex.
The one thing I have yet to do with her is a footjob, we have done it maybe for a few seconds. I am working up the courage to ask for it.
Posted by ddash1985 (Member # 18676) on :
What kind of bullshit is going on in this thread lol?
Seriously lol.
Are people really that afraid to say that they have a foot fetish to their own woman?
Posted by Salvy_Mic (Member # 13384) on :
quote:Originally posted by ddash1985: What kind of bullshit is going on in this thread lol?
Seriously lol.
Are people really that afraid to say that they have a foot fetish to their own woman?
I'm wondering the same thing. I always figured if you absolutely own it, bring it up without even feeling or thinking its weird, chances are good your girl will pretty much think it isn't weird either and go with it.
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