Some jokes can be so dry that you wanna punch the guy telling it. Although some jokes can be really really bad..... so bad, that they're funny. Was reading a kids joke book the other day and it had alot of bad ones.
Where did Noah keep the bees? In the Ark-hives
So, what is/are some of the worst joke/s you've ever heard.
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
what's brown and sticky? a stick
why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.
Posted by LeDaemon (Member # 198) on :
Actually heard on the radio years ago:
Q. What is the last thing a child sees before the child molester kills him?
A. My "Barney" video collection.
Posted by Lord (Member # 2465) on :
Heard this one awhile back. Whats purple and sits in the corner? My wife I paint her any color I want.
Posted by aka.footjoyboy (Member # 32751) on :
Heard Jerry Seinfeld tell this one the other night when he was on with Larry King:
"Two peanuts were walking down the road and one was a~salted." Posted by Salvy_Mic (Member # 13384) on :
I'm sure it was something my friend Julio said. I can't repeat it here though because it was racial, insensitive, offensive, and unfunny as a joke.
Posted by FootLongSub Zero (Member # 19380) on :
Why did the man put a stove in the car? To make it a hot rod Posted by Five For Feet (Member # 33596) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lord: Heard this one awhile back. Whats purple and sits in the corner? My wife I paint her any color I want.
That is hilarious.
Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
The roundest knight at the Round Table was Sir Cumference...he got that way eating too much pi.
Not the worst I've heard but the first one to come to mind. I've really got to quit being a bartender to supplement my income.
Posted by Talos (Member # 39913) on :
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre
Posted by Five For Feet (Member # 33596) on :
You guys are killing me! This is some of the funniest sh** I've ever heard. (except for the child molester thing)
Posted by FootLongSub Zero (Member # 19380) on :
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too
Posted by Toe Sucker II (Member # 1720) on :
Why are pirates always angry?
Because they arrrrrrrrrrrr
Posted by FootLongSub Zero (Member # 19380) on :
Q: What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? A: Christopher Walken.
Plain sad joke
Posted by wvcple2003 (Member # 5268) on :
Dyslexics are toeple poo! Very tastless!
Posted by Jesi Jaymes (Member # 40911) on :
Two guys were sitting at the bar in the Space Needle in Seattle.
The first looked around tiredly and said, "Y'know, the way the wind hits the needle, I can step out of the window and float. The updrafts will keep me right there."
The second guy laughs and says "I bet you a hundred bucks you're full of sh*t."
The first guy shrugs, pushes open the window, and steps out. Sure enough, he floats mid-air, inches away from the window sill.
The second guy's jaw drops and he immediately hands over the money, saying, "I gotta try that!" He then steps out of the window... and plummets to his death.
The bartender sighs, looks at the first guy, and says, "You're a mean drunk, Superman."
Posted by Lord (Member # 2465) on :
I heard this on boardwalk empire... My wife is so stupid she thought day light savings was a bank
Posted by Athena K (Member # 33809) on :
Q. Did you hear about the hostage situation at the circus? A. It was in tents (say it out loud)
Posted by Lord (Member # 2465) on :
My little girl told me this one today.. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Cow Cow who? Cows don't who they moo! Posted by wvcple2003 (Member # 5268) on :
Nice Lord. Tell her this one!
Knock Knock whos there interrupting cow interupp- MOOOOOOOOOOO
Posted by RJFoot (Member # 37988) on :
Q. Whats black and white and red all over? A1. A newspaper A2. A sunburnt penguin
Q. How do you know you have a high sperm count? A. She chews before she swallows!
Posted by Lord (Member # 2465) on :
quote:Originally posted by wvcple2003: Nice Lord. Tell her this one!
Knock Knock whos there interrupting cow interupp- MOOOOOOOOOOO
She said she really liked this one and then she told me this one..
Knock, Knock! Who's there? Tank. Tank who? Your welcome.
Posted by nusuth (Member # 7372) on :
Q. how can you tell when a woman is REALLY horny?
A. when you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse chewing oats.
Q. what did jesus say on the cross?
A. what a shitty way to spend easter vacation
Posted by FootLongSub Zero (Member # 19380) on :
'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'. "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." 'Is it common?' "It's not unusual."
Posted by Five For Feet (Member # 33596) on :
Did you hear the one about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast...
It drove the mime next door nuts.
Posted by wvcple2003 (Member # 5268) on :
Not really a bad joke, but extremly hard to tell at full speed without getting twisted.
Two trees, a beech and a birch were growing in the forest; when they noticed a new tree growing quite close to them. The beech turned to the burch, and says, "Hey, my friend, is that a beech or a burch growing there"? The burch replied," I know not whether its a beech or a burch; but lets ask our woodpecker friend to find out"! So they ask their woodpecker buddy to fly down and sample the tree. The woodpecker soars down, takes a few pecks, and flies back to the two trees! Both trees are very excited, and finally the burch asks, "Well my woodpecker friend, is that young sapling either a beech or a burch"? The woodpecker replies; "Sorry my friends, but that is neither a beech or a burch, but the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in"!
Say that joke without fucking up in front of 10 people like I have!
Posted by Toetapper (Member # 6473) on :
Guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables over his shoulders.
The bartender says, "OK, I'll serve you but you're not starting anything in here.
Posted by Jesi Jaymes (Member # 40911) on :
Two little old ladies had a set date to meet for lunch in a park once a week. One day, one of the ladies was late. Her friend waited and waited, and finally the late one arrived. Shaking her head, the one who had been waiting asked, "Did you come on the bus?" The other flushed and said, "Yes, but I made it look like an asthma attack."
Posted by Phallus4feet (Member # 31013) on :
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing you havent already told her twice! LMAO
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