quote:Originally posted by RPM: give yourself a break... you can do it.. just easy. it's hardest when you think about it. and this girl thing.. .if it's not working... move on.. there are way more fishes in the pond! some take time to get up to speed. trust me. i know.. i wasn't always smooth with the ladies.. i even falter to this day.. but i'm making it work!!!!
RPM
i think about alot of things, i almost have to or else i'll run into things. i wanna make this work but i end up ruining it. i wouldn't feel so damn bad about it if it wasn't my fault anyway.
Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Well, how is it your fault, if you don't mind me asking blackHxC88? It may not be your fault to begin with. The whole girl thing takes time. I'm not that great with the ladies myself, but I don't sweat it. I'm young too, and I've got a lot of sand left in my hourglass, so to speak. How old are you, I get the impression you're pretty young and new to this whole thing. Everybody makes mistakes at the whole guy/girl game that we all play; what matters is whether or not you learn from them.
Posts: 2681 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
again... don't be so hard on yourself. the biggest lesson i've learned early..i apologized way too much and was way to clumbsy about the whole thing.
so.. when i stopped being so sorry... and started to think before I acted (not your problem)... i got smooth.
let's just say.. now... i'm cool enough that if i wasn't "shy" i'd be able to land any gal I wanted. by shy.. i mean... respectful of my lady. i don't test my suave... because i'm happy with my lady.
but.. it wasn't over-night... i was a late bloomer so to speak.. but man.. glad i took the time.. even married women say i've got the goods to take them off their husband's hands (not just because i'm nice or give killer massages.. mainly because i listen)
so... if you're not sure what to do.. listen.. women drop clues to themselves all the time, even when they're trying not to.
so.. think before you meet the gal.. but when you're with her... just chill.. listen to what she says and what she says (body language).. then... respond to it. go with the flow.. don't do like me and over analyze.. just relax.
and lastly... it's not a race... it's a long long long marathon. pace yourself. you'll be surprised as to how well things go!
RPM
p.s. by the way... it's cool to rant and vent here.. that is what we're herre for. so... rant away
posted
I think rpm has hit the nail on the head there "just chill..listen to what she says and what she says (body language).. then... respond to it. go with the flow.. don't do like me and over analyze.. just relax...
And I would also rate this highly too..."respectful of my lady" or any as a matter of fact...
Posts: 1395 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:Originally posted by RPM: again... don't be so hard on yourself. the biggest lesson i've learned early..i apologized way too much and was way to clumbsy about the whole thing.
so.. when i stopped being so sorry... and started to think before I acted (not your problem)... i got smooth.
let's just say.. now... i'm cool enough that if i wasn't "shy" i'd be able to land any gal I wanted. by shy.. i mean... respectful of my lady. i don't test my suave... because i'm happy with my lady.
but.. it wasn't over-night... i was a late bloomer so to speak.. but man.. glad i took the time.. even married women say i've got the goods to take them off their husband's hands (not just because i'm nice or give killer massages.. mainly because i listen)
so... if you're not sure what to do.. listen.. women drop clues to themselves all the time, even when they're trying not to.
so.. think before you meet the gal.. but when you're with her... just chill.. listen to what she says and what she says (body language).. then... respond to it. go with the flow.. don't do like me and over analyze.. just relax.
and lastly... it's not a race... it's a long long long marathon. pace yourself. you'll be surprised as to how well things go!
RPM
p.s. by the way... it's cool to rant and vent here.. that is what we're herre for. so... rant away
posted
please permit me to 'bust your chops' a little. and this is done strictly in kindness.
you said...... "thanks, i guess.".... try simply... Thanks
why am I busting your chops.. your language says a lot about who you are.. the way you phrased it... sounds to me like a situation of low-self-esteem... poor confidence.. lots of frustration.. self-pity... hopelessnes.
even if those assumptions were to be true.. a woman needs not know this. sometimes you got to fake it to make it!
when i'm after a woman's feet... i put on the most confidence act I can muster (although lately.. it's less an act).. then I go for it.
i got a woman's feet once in my lap and hands.. after about 7 minutes of conversation. all because I was cool about it.
Sure.. she's the type that enjoys a massage.. and she's more free spirited.. but she also pointed out to me.. many guys have tried and she read the perversion right through. but in my case.. i was so sure i'd get her feet without being cocky and that i was sure she'd enjoy it.. she let me go for it. later, she confessed.. i was so good (partly because she anticipated it to be so).. that if i wasn't taken.. i'd have to be available to massage her feet on a regular basis. Trust me.. this gal has some seriously hot sexy feet!! everything I love in feet!!!!!
so.. long story short.... as you continue to be you, be a bit more confident in your wording.. because.. it doesn't always paint the best pic of you. i know you're not the assumptions i've painted.. but the phrasing suggests it.
now.. i'm going to stop busting your chop. you've got enough from me. i'll step off the soap box
quote:Originally posted by pedactor: as an attempt to find the root of the problem, lemme ask you this...
how does a typical interaction / conversation that you have with a girl tend to go/flow??... in some ways you tend to remind me of myself
not really, i tend to have to do all the work in it. i usually don't have girls walking up to me to talk to them so i have to do everything in order to get a conversation going. but then it usually falls apart because i'm crap at conversations with girls.
and for a while that picture i'm painting ture for the most part:=\
Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Repression, guilt, and self-denial can be extremely dangerous. You have to become comfortable with yourself first. Then, and only then, can you really start to decide how much you reveal to the outside world.
I'm perfectly comfortable with my likes and sexual preferences. Took a while, but I got there.
Now I'm at the stage where if people wanna laugh and take the piss, I genuinely don't give a shit. Water off a duck's back to me. You usually find the Alpha-male jock-strap types out there are the most sexually repressed of all.
And don't be afraid to seek out counselling. ITs not a sign of weakness. What matter what steps you take to acclimatise with your sexuality. At the end of the day, you'll be fine.
Its like learning to drive. I've been driving 20 years. Does it matter how many times it took me to pass my test ? Nope. Same logic.
Posts: 45 | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by pedactor: There has to be girls on campus that think your attractive based on looks alone (hopefully) so i mean if thats the case, then i only say that to spark a flame of hope that you will have your share of chances. I know that your problem is being " socially inept" but im just trying to make a pt.
i wish i could say there are, but i can't. Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
i just say live with it man and don't be ashamed. the more ashamed u are, the more creepy you'll come off.
and besides, you'll probably get some real big hard boners when you think about some hot girls' feet and then you can join the ranks of the rest of us respectable people who beat off to feet on the internet
"nothing to be ashamed of here people, move on move on"
quote:Originally posted by Tyler D.: i just say live with it man and don't be ashamed. the more ashamed u are, the more creepy you'll come off.
and besides, you'll probably get some real big hard boners when you think about some hot girls' feet and then you can join the ranks of the rest of us respectable people who beat off to feet on the internet
"nothing to be ashamed of here people, move on move on"
posted
*laughs* Don't worry black, that's just Tyler's offbeat sense of humor working there, he means good by what he says.
Posts: 2681 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Salvy_Mic: Well, how is it your fault, if you don't mind me asking blackHxC88? It may not be your fault to begin with. The whole girl thing takes time. I'm not that great with the ladies myself, but I don't sweat it. I'm young too, and I've got a lot of sand left in my hourglass, so to speak. How old are you, I get the impression you're pretty young and new to this whole thing. Everybody makes mistakes at the whole guy/girl game that we all play; what matters is whether or not you learn from them.
just can't learn from my mistakes. either that or i just ooze creepiness or something. like i fear that i'm on the road to being that one dude on "to catch a predator"(there was a topic on here somewhere, but i think some of you know what i mean)
Posts: 2128 | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
dunno if this helps. im quite young in a relationship. a little while ago i got really sexually frustrated with my girlfriend at a time when i was feeling quite low. The more i showed desperation and pestered my girlfriend the more i felt like there was no hope at all of her satisfying my foot desires. i sent an email to genie of the foot column who was really really helpfull and asked me to ask myself some questions about both me and my partner, after doing this and reading one of her columns it all became clear that i'd worked it out myself!...
i was over thinking it too much! i had to do whatever would make me and my partner comfortable which was to just relax, have a little confidence in myself and just cheer up! before i knew it i was extremely suprised at how willing my lady would be to satisty my foot fetish!..
now dont get me wrong, i still havent quite got it down and my relationship is not perfect. but my advise would be not to compare yourself to people who have been in relationships for years. i know what its like to be sexually frustrated. im a little frustrated now! but wallowing in self pity does not help. my girlfriend is very supportive of my low self esteem at times but this does not get me sex. i'll get a footjob once a month if im lucky!
i bet there are not many people that get their foot fetish satisfied everynight, those people are very lucky, so dont compare yourself to that.
just try n find a nice girl and go for it. you got nothing to loose mate!
Posts: 483 | Registered: Jan 2007
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