posted
there's this girl i like at the local supermarket. she works at the custermer service desk. i went to by cigs last week and we started to talk about some things . she was very freindly and started the conversation. that was last sat. i have'nt been in there since because i can't afford to be stuck behind some old lady trying to get a raincheck or whatever it is they do on that line during the week because i got to get to work. now i am not going in there tommorrow and ask her out, no girl will say yes to a guy they met once for 10 mins. but i want to soon, so i am going to start to put a plan into motion. i know she works another job in the afternoon. but she's full time at this one. makes me thinks she has kids to support to hold two jobs. but no ring on her fingers. i was wondering if you guys have any idea's about how i could find out if she has a boyfriend. certain questions that have worked for you guys in the past, stuff like that. this mite be a mute point if i go in there a few times and she then seems uninterested in me, but its still a good question to toss around. the women on this board, it would be great to get your side of this question too.
Posts: 64 | Registered: Apr 2006
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If you play these mind games and try to sneak around, being a detective, you will waste weeks, maybe even months on a futile goal. For the following reasons:
1) You will be a pessimist and a glass-is-half-full guy. A pessimist will watch her... say... eat low-fat yogurt and immediately jump to a conclusion that she is taken. But, without confirmation, it will gnaw at you.
2) If you waste the time only to find out that she does indeed have a boyfriend, you will become resentful of her and a bit more self-loathing towards yourself.
3) If you eventually find out that she is single, enough time will have passed for her to get bored with you... or lump you in the dreaded "just friends" category. The longer you wait, the less interested she will be.
HERE"S THE DEAL: Just fucking ask her out. The worst she can say is NO. She won't scream for help, notify the police or cry out rape. She's not going to call this behemoth of a boyfriend to go to your house in the middle of the night with a "message." Chances are, unless you really act like an ass, she won't even laugh about it behind your back. She will simply smile and reply, No thanks.
Or. If she has a boyfriend, she will say so.
Bear this in mind. If you've been nice to her... If you've charmed her... if you're attractive and cool... she will STILL say "No thanks, I have a boyfriend." BUT, as you walk away, she will be thinking to herself... "God, if only I didn't have a boyfriend, I would SO suck his cock!"
I know this for a fact. My best friend Amy has had a boyfriend for the past three years. She gets hit on ALL the time. And she always wishes she wasn't tied down because she wants someone else to fuck her. She tells me this all the time. (BTW, Tonight, she's indulging herself in a little on-the-side sex... because a guy she met in a Starbucks last week... didn't play games and just went for it.)
Fear of hurting women? Fear of rejection? Fear of feeling hurt?
FUCK that shit, man! If you go up to this girl and ask, "Hey, would you like to go out with me this Saturday night? I'll give you my number and you let me know, okay?" then all the rejection and hurt it's possible to feel won't hold a candle to the FUCKING MONSTER-SIZED BALLS you have just shown.
And, after you've done that ONCE, it just gets easier.
One last thing. DO WHAT I DO when she says "Sorry, I have a boyfriend."
I smile, hold up my hands disarmingly and laugh, "Oh, no, I'm not going to let you jeopardize your relationship with your boyfriend for a handsome devil like me. It would devastate him! It's better for HIS sake if I just leave you with your dignity intact." It's a silly, comedic and charming way of taking the tension out of the situation. The girl always laughs, undoubtedly wishing she could jump my bones.
DUDE, what are you waiting for? The "right moment?" For HER to make the first move? For someone to let her know behind your back like how Rachel found out Ross liked her in "Friends?" AINT GONNA HAPPEN. And by the time you figure that out, you'll be "just friends."
Trust me. I've been down this path for years. Tonight, I went on a first date with bisexual oceanographer/FHM and MAXIM model who's a foot taller than me and WAAAY out of my league. I still asked her out. She didn't say she had a boyfriend... she had JUST BROKEN UP... WITH HER GIRLFRIEND...
Ask her out.
I promise you that, even if she says no, you will be back on this message board next week thanking me for this advice.
As I said earlier, I asked out a chick and she turns out to be a bisexual scientist and a lingerie model who has a fetish for bisexual half-Asian Goth guys (I am all of these things).
Today, I also asked out a Wiccan stoner who just broke up with her boyfriend and is looking for rebound sex. (I actually don't have her answer yet.)
The girl I went out with LAST WEEK, again, because I ASKED HER OUT THE FIRST DAY WE MET... is taking me as her date to a Nine Inch Nails concert.
She's a journalist, guys. That means we're going backstage. We're going to hang with Trent Reznor and Chris Vrenn.
EVERYTHING I HAVE TOLD YOU IS GOD'S HONEST TRUTH.
I am NOT saying this to brag (Ok, maybe just a little....) My point is this: If you don't ask this chick out, YOU REALLY WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON!
posted
One last thing, then I'll shut up. Since this is a feet board.
The lingerie model who's a foot taller than me? She's a scuba diver. I am in training to get my scuba license. She and I will be diving all summer for her research, if all goes well.
That means I will be spending a lot of time with a barefoot chick in a wetsuit.
OK OK, now I'll shut up. I just had to get that last part in.
posted
Also I will add if you are going to act like a pussy 9 times out of 10 you ain't going to be getting any pussy.
Posts: 45 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
thanks guys. you all seem to think i should just go for it. special thanks to wiggler, your stories have given me a lot of conifidence. thanks buddy. i admit all that trying to be a dectective shit is stupid. im still want to go in there 2 or 3 more times before i ask, just to get her to know me a little better than the 10 mins i know her for.acept for wiggler, people that i know, me included have not had a high percent of yes answers from women we just met on the street or in a store. and i am a goodlooking, clean cut, normal looking guy. i am sure half those women did not have a boyfriend neither. i live in one of the 5 boros of nyc. you always hear in the news once or twice a month that either a girl is missing or got rape. so i guess the women hear have to be a little more careful about dating guys they don't know. i am just saying that if she does not have a boyfriend i want her to get to talk to me some more and get to know me better...i think that then my chances of getting a yes from her will be a lot greater.thanks again guys i will keep you updated. i would love to hear a womens point of view..... now watch wiggler tell me all his success stories are from NYC LOL Posts: 64 | Registered: Apr 2006
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There's an episode of KING OF THE HILL where Bobby needs dating advice from Boomhauer, who always gets tons of women. Boomhauer makes Bobby swear on the bible that he will never reveal the secret before he takes him to a shoe store and starts mackin on the chicks one at a time.
They all shoot him down. He doesn't stop. Bobby watches as Boomhauer goes from one chick to another. Finally, he gets a phone number on his hand.
"But, Mr. Boomhauer," Bobby says, "You got shot down 23 times before you got that phone number."
But, Boomhauer says in return, I got the phone number. (In his gibberish syntax.)
"You got shot down 23 times."
"Yeah. Ain't no thang."
Getting turned down is part of the ritual. It's hardly ever personal. Everytime you ask, it's practice. Everytime you get shot down, it's a learning experience. Of course, not every woman is going to go for you. Hell, I look like Brandon Lee (I'm serious) and I've only gotten TWO positive responses out of the dozens of women I've asked out in the past three weeks. But the successful seducers are the ones who are willing to play the numbers game, even if it's not as extreme as Boomhauer's.
When you are looking for a new job, do you only send a resume to ONE company? If that company turns you down, do you just give up and starve? No. You hit every opportunity that comes your way.
BTW, I just remembered my other post on the board about flirting with a female co-worker. I completely forgot about Molly. (I'm trying to juggle ALL the girls in my dating life and I forget one once in a while)
Molly HAS a boyfriend in another state. But she obviously wants me. Just because the chick is spoken for does not mean she's happy with that situation. I'm biding my time, limiting my contact with her and only letting her see my flirtatious, fun, sexy side, until she dumps that loser (which she has openly told me she is considering) and then I'm going to pour on the seduction. And she has GORGEOUS Sarah Michelle Gellar feet, so it's worth the wait.
Also, women DO need to feel safe with the guy they ask out. But that feeling of safety comes A LOT faster than you might think. They trust their instincts. Tiffiny (the NIN girl) told me when I asked her out that she was scared of dating guys in LA, but, with me, she "had a feeling" that I am OK. Going out with a girl you met in a 7-11 is a long shot, I'll admit. I've never succeeded with the chance-encounter pickup. The odds ARE SLIM.
But, as they say in gambling, "You will miss 100% of the shots you never take."
quote:Originally posted by wiggler: Thanks for the kudos.
There's an episode of KING OF THE HILL where Bobby needs dating advice from Boomhauer, who always gets tons of women. Boomhauer makes Bobby swear on the bible that he will never reveal the secret before he takes him to a shoe store and starts mackin on the chicks one at a time.
They all shoot him down. He doesn't stop. Bobby watches as Boomhauer goes from one chick to another. Finally, he gets a phone number on his hand.
"But, Mr. Boomhauer," Bobby says, "You got shot down 23 times before you got that phone number."
But, Boomhauer says in return, I got the phone number. (In his gibberish syntax.)
"You got shot down 23 times."
"Yeah. Ain't no thang."
Getting turned down is part of the ritual. It's hardly ever personal. Everytime you ask, it's practice. Everytime you get shot down, it's a learning experience. Of course, not every woman is going to go for you. Hell, I look like Brandon Lee (I'm serious) and I've only gotten TWO positive responses out of the dozens of women I've asked out in the past three weeks. But the successful seducers are the ones who are willing to play the numbers game, even if it's not as extreme as Boomhauer's.
When you are looking for a new job, do you only send a resume to ONE company? If that company turns you down, do you just give up and starve? No. You hit every opportunity that comes your way.
BTW, I just remembered my other post on the board about flirting with a female co-worker. I completely forgot about Molly. (I'm trying to juggle ALL the girls in my dating life and I forget one once in a while)
Molly HAS a boyfriend in another state. But she obviously wants me. Just because the chick is spoken for does not mean she's happy with that situation. I'm biding my time, limiting my contact with her and only letting her see my flirtatious, fun, sexy side, until she dumps that loser (which she has openly told me she is considering) and then I'm going to pour on the seduction. And she has GORGEOUS Sarah Michelle Gellar feet, so it's worth the wait.
Also, women DO need to feel safe with the guy they ask out. But that feeling of safety comes A LOT faster than you might think. They trust their instincts. Tiffiny (the NIN girl) told me when I asked her out that she was scared of dating guys in LA, but, with me, she "had a feeling" that I am OK. Going out with a girl you met in a 7-11 is a long shot, I'll admit. I've never succeeded with the chance-encounter pickup. The odds ARE SLIM.
But, as they say in gambling, "You will miss 100% of the shots you never take."
Let me know how it works out, buddy.
Don't touch until after she is already single. And kinda lame to call someone a loser that you don't even know.
Posts: 425 | Registered: Jun 2004
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posted
Finally, some extra tips and I'll make these brief, because I am NOT will Smith in that HITCH movie, despite what you might think.
1) Don't be sensitive. In the first few encounters, show that male ego they've heard so much about. Confidence comes from knowing that, deep down, they want to fuck you. Don't be a feminist, either. Have RESPECT for women, but don't be a neutered pussy like the hippie teacher from Beavis and Butthead.
2) Don't act shy. That neurotic, charmingly befuddled shy guy routine works for Hugh Grant, but not in real life. Real life is not an 80s teen comedy where the likeable loser gets the girl because he's a "nice guy". Be the cocky jock like Stan Gable in Revenge of the Nerds. That's what women want in the beginning. "Nice guys" definitely finish last.
3) Don't be her therapist. If the girl has ex-boyfriend problems, don't console her thinking it will get you laid. This is a big trap for guys. She'll start associating you with therapy and you will be her "friend" but she'll never be turned on by you. She WILL be turned on if you can DISTRACT her from her problems, not talk through them.
4) Don't try to get sympathy. Women don't want to listen to complaining whiners. Talking about how bad your last GF hurt you or why you never get laid does NOT win her heart. It annoys her and makes her want you even less. You will be much sexier if you appear to have NO problems or drama issues.
5) Don't be ashamed to be a guy. Men want sex. Women know this. Women also want sex. Women pretend they don't. Again, be respectful, but if you deny your true nature as a man, if you ACT like you're not interested in getting laid... you never will. This last one is particularly difficult because we live in such a PC world where men are made to feel shame for being horny. Fuck that shit, man. God gave you a cock and you have every right to use it!
quote:Originally posted by wiggler: Finally, some extra tips and I'll make these brief, because I am NOT will Smith in that HITCH movie, despite what you might think.
1) Don't be sensitive. In the first few encounters, show that male ego they've heard so much about. Confidence comes from knowing that, deep down, they want to fuck you. Don't be a feminist, either. Have RESPECT for women, but don't be a neutered pussy like the hippie teacher from Beavis and Butthead.
2) Don't act shy. That neurotic, charmingly befuddled shy guy routine works for Hugh Grant, but not in real life. Real life is not an 80s teen comedy where the likeable loser gets the girl because he's a "nice guy". Be the cocky jock like Stan Gable in Revenge of the Nerds. That's what women want in the beginning. "Nice guys" definitely finish last.
One and two sum me up very accurately. But I guess i'm just fooling myself, I guess i'm not dating Daemoness in real life.
Posts: 425 | Registered: Jun 2004
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posted
hey wiggler for now on if i need any advice im gonna go directly to you lol
hey scarlet are you really dating Daemoness? or were you being sarcastic? if you are dating her then you got some damn good taste man. that is one gorgeous young lady. and her feet are gorgeous too.
posted
Ladies and gentlemen, we appear to have a heckler in the audience.
Firstly, everything I have said has been 100% true. If Scarlet says he is dating Daemoness, I believe him because I have no reason to think he is a liar.
Secondly, what works for some people doesn't necessarily work for others. But since I do not fall into the "others" category, I have to use my own experiences as a template for my advice.
Thirdly, we are all friends here and I have no wish to pick a fight with anyone so I don't see why Scarlet wants to do so with me. We have NO grudge between us. Nothing. If you have a girlfriend, you don't even need to pay attention to me. If you have a differing opinion, it is welcome, but don't be obnoxious about it.
Finally, the horny Wiccan stoner chick got back to me and invited me to Six Flags tomorrow with all her GIRLFRIENDS so don't even try to tell me my approach doesn't work.
posted
don't just go up and ask "do you have a boyfriend?"
Ask it by saying "Are you single?" instead. There is a whole different connotation, I don't have time to explain the surrounding significance, but if you decide to just go up and ask, be sure to use that line instead of the naturally inclined "do you have a boyfriend?" needy sounding approach.
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