There's a girl I met in college who I've had a crush on for a year now (see the 6/13 post in this topic for proof). I recently saw her for the first time since last summer, and she was just as alluring as I remembered.
I'm a bit of a sucker for girls in glasses, and I love the way hers look on her pretty face. She usually has this half-smile in her expression, and often alternates between putting her hair in a ponytail and having it down. Her feet are smooth and beautiful, with an appealing width and plumpness to them. Her personality is very pleasant and friendly.
I've thought about her over and over from time to time during the past year, and it felt great to see her again (it was a few weeks ago at her job). The thing is, while she was indeed very friendly during this encounter, I'm almost certain she doesn't feel the same way that I do and has no interest in me. It could be that I suspect she has a boyfriend...it could have to do with us being of two different races...or it could just be that she doesn't find me attractive. I don't really know.
I'm planning to bring this crush to its conclusion tomorrow (Thursday). My intent is to swing by her job one last time and do one of two things:
A) Leave a note with one of her co-workers which features my e-mail address, asking her to get in touch with me if she gets the chance.
B) Going to her directly (if she's there) and telling her that since I probably won't see her again, I just wanted to confess my feelings before saying good-bye (and then seeing how she reacts).
My question is, Which of the above would you suggest? Keep in mind that she and I don't really know each other, and I'm hardly the type who's comfortable with the kind of latter scenario I described, but I just thought I'd ask for advice before acting. Thanks.
Posts: 350 | Registered: Nov 2004
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posted
Women have to RESPECT a guy before she can feel any sexual attraction or romantic feelings towards him. Being SYMPATHETIC and PATHETIC are synonymous in the female mind.
A note with a co-worker is a very safe method to prevent you from feeling disappointed or "shot down" and this is understandable if, as you say, you are uncomfortable with the direct approach. There's your problem. That IS the SAFE method! And, taking the safe method is not going to make you STAND OUT or SHOW CONFIDENCE.
Let me clarify this for you simply:
A) You will miss 100% of the shots you never take.
B) The worst she can say is NO. Not "Rape" or "What a Retard." Why would she say those things to YOU?
C) Using a note makes you as disposable, in her mind.
D) So what if she has a boyfriend? Girls dump boyfriends and cheat on them. Boyfriend ain't always a shield.
E) Even if you fail this one, it's practice for the next one. And these get easier as you learn.
F) Your mother and all those romantic comedies of the 80s LIED to us. Fuck that "just be yourself" and "be a nice guy and she'll see the real you" bullshit.
G) Girls respond well to the balls-out direct approach, as long as they don't feel threatened. So don't threaten them.
H) If you act like you don't want sex, you won't get any.
If you need any more help with the ladies, I am at your disposal. Ask anything because I am always looking out for my fellow "single guys."
posted
B all the way. If she rejects you no biggie. She'll respect you much more by talking directly to her.
Posts: 127 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
the note is a sure killl.... words "what a creep" comes to mind.. starting something online isn't yet the most accepted and approved method.
try handing the note with your phone number directly to her and saying what you feel... if she says no... well... you'll know because she'll never call.. but if it's a yes.. she may tell you to your face.
my guess.. she's going to blush and try to find a polite way to talk to you... tell you if she's interested.. tell you if she's got a man.. tell you if she'd prefer you try later... but gotta do it face to face!!!!
the woman i'm going to marry... that is how we clicked into that direction. i drove 1 hour out of my way to hand her my biz card.. on the rear.. wrote my number and email.. said i needed hers before i could leave.
she handed me her card with her number on the back.. and i drove my hour back... and i got all suited up nice too. years later.. we're planning our wedding!!! be bold.. be original.. be unique (meaning the confident side of you) and go for broke!
posted
Hope this isn't too late... Ok, here's my motto that I always lived by... Put the thrill in the chase, the pursuit, that's the exciting part because, if she says NO, it won't crush you. Your focus is in the chase, not the response... 2nd motto: Automatic NO if you don't ask! When you do ask, think of it as offering her a plate of cookies with three responses: (1) Yes, (2) No, and (3) Not now, perhaps later. So, go for it, my fellow foot man, it's thrilling! Let us know how you did.
-------------------- My excitement grows When she wiggles her toes Presses her foot to my nose And says, "Ummmmm baby, smell me!" I luv my wife's .oo0O O0oo. Posts: 259 | Registered: Jun 2006
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