posted
Here's an interesting article about a woman's horrible experience with a guy who was just being honest with her about his fetish. She considered his behaviours deviant. http://dating.about.com/od/horrorstory/a/FootFetish.htm
Are we generally doomed with this level of honesty on a first date, or is this an isolated incident you think, or did this dude just put his figurative foot in his mouth too much by not reading the signs?
Just curious of other people's thoughts on this guy's mishap.
posted
Too much too far. On the subject of sex or fetishes? Bring it up, I have no shame and have done so when the subject is mentioned. But this guy stretched for it, and kept on pursuing. In my opinion, she does seem like the type who would view it as weird and not be open to it, but he definitely was moronic in how he pursued it.
Posts: 425 | Registered: Jun 2004
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quote:Originally posted by scarlet: Too much too far. On the subject of sex or fetishes? Bring it up, I have no shame and have done so when the subject is mentioned. But this guy stretched for it, and kept on pursuing. In my opinion, she does seem like the type who would view it as weird and not be open to it, but he definitely was moronic in how he pursued it.
Exactly. Gotta know when to bring it up, how long to persue the matter etc. Most normal guys can feel if the chick is getting weirded out by the foot talk. Obviously this guy couldn't.
Posts: 1473 | Registered: Oct 2002
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posted
The guys wasn't very smooth in his delivery of the message. On a first date I wouldn't bring up foot fetishes much less butt plugs or bukkake. "Nice nail polish" would probably be the extent of it and then leave it at that. Rather than discuss it I think most women would be more comfortable just having the dude go for it while in the middle of an intimate situation. Hopefully, by the second date!!!
posted
If her transcript was indeed accurate he talked about nothing but feet. You can't do that. I applaud the guy for his honesty, but he was downright arrogant about his love of feet.
As someone said, on a first date "that's a beautiful color (nail polish) probably should be it, unless she follows up on that with obvious interest of her own, and you still have to be very careful not to overdue it.
Also, of course, wasn't happy with her comment that it's a sexually deviant interest, but then some girls are going to see a focused interest on any body part as deviant, and probably more-so feet. Like it or not, that's pretty much the status quo as far as fetishes are concerned, so we need to deal with it in a more conservative way.
As we often discuss here, it will be interesting to see if it ever becomes appropriate (in my lifetime) to hit on a girl strongly from any fetish standpoint on a first date. Maybe we'll get to the point as a society that, like the gay community used to do with handkerchiefs, where we all wear or carry a special item that indicates what our sexual preferences are. Then it's known and right out in the open. You meet and get to know each other (unless you're interested in casual sex only) without having to walk through the field of landmines.
Posts: 9728 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I think for the people with only casual sex on their mind meeting through internet personal ads is the most obvious choice. For me personally I never did that, but I've got single friends and my own brother that do just that for hook ups. If both parties know what they want up front no problems without any baggage or strings attached.
posted
Just my opinion, but if a guy comments on a girl's nice polish, that sounds like a totally gay thing to say.
Posts: 90 | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
I agree with Pete, in that both are to blame for this incident. My first reaction to the article was that this chick has some issues of her own. Think about it.... "male harem" and "Jerry is a googy name" Not exactly the type of woman who sounds very open or caring for that matter.
Now onto Jerry. He went about it the wrong way. I've never complimented a woman's feet on the first date. I think this is something that needs to be worked in later once she has developed a certain comfort with the man. Even if you drop a brief compliment, leave it at that. A first date is an opportunity to get to know someone (ie what do you do for a living, where you went to school, hobbies) not to divulge in your sexual fantisies.
I'm married now, but had many girlfriends and dating experiences prior to meeting my wife. I never had an experience like this and I still had my fill of foot massages and toe sucking. I think we are far from doomed. This experience between a stuck up woman and an overyly zelous, perhaps despirate man was doomed from the beginning, however.
Posts: 475 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
that dude was a knucklehead. pushing it waaay too much. this almost seems like the part in road trip where the guy tried to suck on amy smart's feet. its almost comedic yet i wanna pull him to the side and bitch-slap him. but the girl was a pretty closed minded tool about it. i do agree w/ you lamb skin about waiting to make compliments such as a pedicure...not to say i wouldnt if she asked me do i like her toes, but i doubt that is the first date.
quote:Originally posted by jdk597: Just my opinion, but if a guy comments on a girl's nice polish, that sounds like a totally gay thing to say.
jdk,do not take this personal ok, but... your on a foot fetish forum as a regular board member and you think that complimenting a FEMALE pedicure sounds gay?? i find alot of humor in that.. granted that its your opinion jdk,and you have a respected right to that, but i dont agree w/ it bc women were made to be beautiful and noticed all over.. how is complimenting a (female) pedicure "gay" especially if it is a sexual turn on for straight males? that sounds silly...besides im getting the last laugh when i get her toes in my mouth, haha...
posted
I think it'd be like a guy complimenting a girl on her nice purse or something. Not a big thing, that's just how it seems to me. If that's your approach, more power to you. Gay wasn't the best word. My point is it seems like an atypical male thing to say, in my opinion.
I think I don't see a lot of things the same here because feet are basically a secondary thing for me. I'm just a typical guy who likes female feet too. Apologies if I offended anyone. Posts: 90 | Registered: Oct 2006
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quote:Originally posted by jdk597: I think it'd be like a guy complimenting a girl on her nice purse or something. Not a big thing, that's just how it seems to me. If that's your approach, more power to you. Gay wasn't the best word. My point is it seems like an atypical male thing to say, in my opinion.
I think I don't see a lot of things the same here because feet are basically a secondary thing for me. I'm just a typical guy who likes female feet too. Apologies if I offended anyone.
no offense taken , bro your opinion is still respected Posts: 692 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by lambskin: My first reaction to the article was that this chick has some issues of her own. Think about it.... "male harem" and "Jerry is a googy name" Not exactly the type of woman who sounds very open or caring for that matter.
Very possibly true. I took these as tongue-in-cheek comments (to be funny, cute, whatever) but if they were her true feelings then yep, she's got some issues too.
Posts: 9728 | Registered: Feb 2004
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