posted
My problem now i think is like in the '40 yr old virgin' im puttin the pussy on a pedastall, its like i think im not gonna get nothin after this girl, i can be very shy & not let loose at all unless i drink.
-------------------- I want you to sit on my chest, and then rest you lusciuos Soles on my face Posts: 245 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Am feeling very depressed lately with this still hangin out its like false hope will i feel alot better if i end it for good, its just im scared to, i have a feeling when it is over it will be worse than this.
-------------------- I want you to sit on my chest, and then rest you lusciuos Soles on my face Posts: 245 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Well, lets see if I can be brief: First, let me tell you that punctuation is a good thing. Secondly, oscarthemonkey, though terse, is concise and correct. Thirdly, it sounds to me as though you fear that you'll never find sex such as you have known again. Nothing could be further from the truth. A shitty relationship is just that...shit. There is nothing that is nutritious in shit; a relationship is supposed to feed the heart/soul (whatever you wish to call it) and your relationship is poisoning it. Enough with the scatological poetic metaphor. No doubt about it, you're going to feel as if you are carrying around a hole inside you; likely, it will feel as if it will never go away but, trust me, it will. You may have to remind yourself that you did the right thing. Be assured, you have. There is plenty of time and many adventures in your future and you will never know when they might pop up.......so, fer cryin' out loud, carry a good camera. A quick but true little parable: A few months after the death of my mother (and my college sweetheart had just dicked me over in spectacular fashion) my father (a sagacious & horny man) and I visited his parents who lived in Ft. Lauderdale. We took some time to go to the nearby beach to enjoy the surf, sun, and sand. It was Spring. We strolled along the beach, strewn with slender, bronzed bodies for over a mile discussing many things. We finally came to the end of the beach and turned around, covering the same territory to return to the car. Along the way, he paused and surveyed the scenery. Looking at me with the familiar expression of having arrived at a definite conclusion, he said, "Y'know, there really ARE plenty of fish in the sea..." Perhaps, it may seem cliche but it is well worth some contemplation. Thus endeth the lecture; so much for brevity. Cogitate!
Posts: 5067 | Registered: Apr 2005
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toeTapper...sage advise..well said. We've all been there This isme and I empathize with you.
go wit your instincts and perhaps take solace in these refelctive phrases writtewn by others far greater and more eloquent than I:
"the hard road leads to the good life."
"he has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness for we must have felt what it is to die that we may aprreciate the enjoyments of life. Live then, beloved children of my heart and never forget that until the day when god will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, Wait and Hope"
Wishing you the best from the unverse and all it's delicious possibilities.
Posts: 168 | Registered: Jul 2007
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The new situation is she wants to work things out, she has basically been kicked out her dads for causing trouble has emergency accomodation & is saying she'll have a place in a few weeks & wants me to move with her, i dont really want to but just keep thinking of all the sex & her feet in my face every night would be awesome but she is such a handfull, i know she'll stress me out big time, & also get this, she has fallen out wiv my family from fighting wiv my mom (In previous posts) & expects me to pick her over my family for christmas & also my bday on 15th dec, & i know i ain't doing that so all this is gonna just be conflict, i have to admitt i think i just thinking of the sex & feet as i have missed them alot, but i have to make the right decision, all she seems like is a safe option, but the wrong one, any advice on this new situation. Much Appreciated ppl.
-------------------- I want you to sit on my chest, and then rest you lusciuos Soles on my face Posts: 245 | Registered: Jul 2004
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First, it's all your choice, but you must live with it, and not only you but those whom you know and/or love must live with it too. Even if it's for a short time due to splitting up -again, 'cuz it will most likely happen.
Do you want to be in this type of relationship of splitting up, getting back together, and on and on?
As Madonna sang...Respect yourself. You're no one's doormat. Sounds like you'd make a great roommate, tho, maybe she's counting on it. Keep in mind, if she's cheated on you before, she's likely to do it again.
Posts: 51 | Registered: Oct 2007
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Bottome line, dude,... don't let her play you for a chump!
This is a classic "test" that women tend to use on guys quite a bit. Women test guys all the time, whether the are conscious of it or not. She is trying to use your own weaknesses against you - i.e. dangling "the carrot" of living with her and making you think things will be like they used to be between the two of you if you move in with her and choose her over your family. Just remember one thing - You can have many girlfriends, and even wives, in one lifetime,... but you only have one family.
Bottom line, men who always cave in to the demands of women and constantly kiss their asses are not looked at as "nice guys" by women. They are, ultimately, looked at as wussies and wussies are unattractive to women. She's desparate right now because of her situation of having nowhere to live and she's playing on your feelings and using them to her advantage. If you cave in to her way, there's no doubt in my mind she'll eventually use you like a rented mule and kick you to the curb once again. She has discovered a hole in your boundary as a person and all it's doing to you is draining you of your self esteem - i.e. you think you can't find someone else or have things as great as when you were with her. This is a very bad, and dangerous, way of thinking!
There are some things that you need to keep repeating to yourself over and over again when it comes to this woman...
1. She is/has been disrespectful to your parents.
2. She has an additctive personality.
3. She gets bored easily.
4. She can cause a big scene when she drinks.
5. She causes a lot of drama.
6. She can be jealous, violent, and quite mean.
7. She cheated on you with someone else for 10 months.
By the way, this is all stuff you have brought up in previous posts about her.
The above is quite a bit of baggage but, for me, reason number 7 alone would be the deal breaker. A woman cheating on me would have no chance in hell at ever getting back together with me, no matter how beautiful her feet are, no matter how often I could express my fetish when she's around, and no matter how cute her ass really is or how great the sex is!
It sounds like you're way too hung up on this woman's looks. You need to remember that there's so much more to women than just a pretty face and a good looking body. Beauty is so common in today's world, especially when it comes to women who are physically attractive. There are beautiful women everywhere. Keep in mind that there are over 3 billion females on the planet right now as we speak.... Let me repeat that... There are over 3 billion females on the planet right now as we speak! There's no need to think in a scarcity mentality and think that this woman is your "ultimate prize" when there are that many other females out there right at this moment. Even if you weed out those who are not in the age group that you would consider dating, that's still a hell of a lot of women!
You need to think better of yourself and realize that there's more to life than just this one woman. Because of all that she has done to you, she should not even be considered in the same league as you and, in reality, is beneath you. As SS said, you need to respect yourself first and realize that you have the upper hand. Beauty is abundant when it comes to women who are physically attractive and you need to think that you're deserving of that beauty but, most importantly, you need to be critical of any woman and who they are on the inside, including this girl who's trying to get back into your life and wants to force you into making a decision. Would a woman who really loves you force you to choose between her and your family? I think not.
-------------------- "I like feet... A lot!" Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
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So whats the situation now? If you really want to keep going w/ this relationship, then you need to talk to her, and tell her how YOU feel. If she really wants to be with you, she will atleast TRY to accomidate some of ur requests. If she is causing alot of unnecessary problems, then let her know how it bothers you, why, and reasons why you think she should try to change a bit.
Posts: 523 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Recently goin through the break up bullshit right now. And the few things i've learned in the past as well...
People never change. They can act differently for so long, but it's just like the whole "true colors" effect. After awhile you start noticing they're back to their old selves.
Even though I have cheated before (years ago and have not since) I'm a pretty steady believer that people do make mistakes, but there's no way in hell that forgiving that person will ever make you forget what's happened. Nothing can take away history, not a damn thing. You can always forgive, but never forget. And that tends to weigh on your relationship and it'll eventually come up later on, and that causes problems. So in short, there's no good reason to be with somebody that's cheated on you...Especially for that long. If you can be lied to that amount of time, and think completely opposite of the person you've been with long...Makes ya feel like you been living a lie, and you definitely know you are not to trust somebody who can lie that much. And as fate111 said i think, You can have many girls, and only ONE Family.
Don't let her use you for getting a place to crash, it'll just bite you in the ass later. Being used to worst degree, working and helping somebody out after they fucked you over is not good. They just think they can get another over on ya easier. Tell her you're not ready to move out, and that your sorry but maybe some time later...and if she gives you shit, she's not very understanding and could care less. They always seem to come back in a time of extreme need.
Anyway, that's about it.
-------------------- I've got a fetish for sexy female feet. Everybody knows. I love it. Posts: 675 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
I am sure there have been a lot of great responses but FATE111 - pretty deep yet pratical advice.
The thing about time is once we get past the hurt - we tend to remember the good stuff and if it washes over us and we resist - we prematurely jump to the good stuff and repeating that list will keep you in the pain enough to stand-up for yourself and to move past it in a healthy way quicker.
What we resist, persists and you need to go thru this now - so you can look back and laugh at it later.
You need to do what is best for you. Whether a family member keeps borrowing money or a girl is playing damsel in distress. You have to say "No," for people to take you seriously.
And a quick note, the more one repeats themselves the words lose power. Say what you want to her, back it up with action and end of story. When people, women listen to you and what you say happens - they will be drawn to you!
Kick butt man - sometimes the fight ain't for the opponent but all those watchin'.
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