posted
First off I hate dates..... Anyway i've been talking to this one german girl for the past few weeks and she's a sweetheart. A prude, but sweet nonetheless. Anyway I usually let the women i'm interested in know about my thing for feet during casual convo just to see how they respond. She however didn't respond to favorably, even turning down a future foot massage if she behaved. The nerve! lol. So in our convos i've kept reiterating to her how important this part of me is. Funny...I want her to change her stance and she wants me to change mine. We just might be incompatable over my foot fetish. Funny. Just wait till I tell her what I REALLY want to do to her feet! It's a shame because I probably could date her long term, while the other people i'm seeing that are into the fetish are just flings. I guess we'll see how things work out tonight.
Have any of you guys turned down a possible relationship with a very attractive woman due to her stance on feet?
GQguy
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Have any of you guys turned down a possible relationship with a very attractive woman due to her stance on feet?
i've never done the turning down, but i have certainly had the turning down done on me because of my enjoyment of feet.
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: It's a shame because I probably could date her long term, while the other people i'm seeing that are into the fetish are just flings.
don't feel too displaced about liking her more than the other easy girls who actually don't mind the feet thing. it is probably her denial of the feet stuff that makes ya want her more.
sorta push pull theory in a way. wanting what we can't have. i won't delve into that theory, but i will note that it is a shame that attraction isn't a choice though, LOL
posted
No I've never not dated a woman because she was not into the feet thing. Neither have I not gone out with a woman because I didn't like the way her feet looked. Perhaps I'm a little different than most foot fetishist in that I try to rate the whole package when I'm looking for a serious relationship. I seem to be able to separate my lust for feet and my love for a particular person.I will say though that when you find somone you love and they share your lust for foot love-that is the ultimate.
Posts: 779 | Registered: Sep 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
My friend, dont do it. If she does not like to engage in foot fetish activities from the get go, she will not in the future. My advice: There are a lot of fish in the see. So keep looking for that special someone who has not only the right personality, but can also indulge u in ur fetish.
Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote: sorta push pull theory in a way. wanting what we can't have. i won't delve into that theory, but i will note that it is a shame that attraction isn't a choice though, LOL
Actually, no. I'm really into girls that know how to take care of their guy. A girl that doesn't indulge my fetish isn't that. Besides, a partner that leaves the other unsatisfied leaves the door open for infidelity. Especially if they know they can get what they want else where. I'd rather cut that temptation out at the begining. Imagine me cheating on my steady gf just because she wouldn't put her feet in my lap? It'd be silly if I did right, but it'd also be silly that she wouldn't.
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Unfortunate luck, GQ, as far as this girl's stance on being somewhat "anti-feet".
This is exactly why I don't actually come out and say anything to women directly about my attraction for women's feet and let my actions do the talking at the right moment. Too much info and being too direct too soon when it comes to revealing that sort of thing leaves a good possibility of scaring off a girl. I know we all operate differently, but, personally, I would've held off. After all, you mentioned that the "dating" portion of the program is only a few weeks old. It may be that she's not comfortable with you yet on that level. Things like comfort and trust take time to build. Guys, to women, start off as complete strangers, then as time goes on, a guy can become a sexy stranger, then a sexy friend, then, if both parties desire it, a sexy lover in a committed relationship. The comfort and trust are important to have. Maybe she just isn't on that level of comfort and trust yet when it comes to her acceptability of you liking feet. It might have been a TMI situation she wasn't ready for.
But, that's just my two cents.
Anyway, to answer your question, I've never turned down a possible relationship (i.e. boyfriend/girlfriend thing) because of the girl's stance on me not wanting to touch/play with her feet. I've actually never had that problem before. Then again, I'm not the type of person to "spill the beans" about it, so to speak, only after a few weeks of seeing a woman. I follow a different way of thinking when it comes to revealing my attraction.
-------------------- "I like feet... A lot!" Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Actually, no. I'm really into girls that know how to take care of their guy. A girl that doesn't indulge my fetish isn't that. Besides, a partner that leaves the other unsatisfied leaves the door open for infidelity. Especially if they know they can get what they want else where. I'd rather cut that temptation out at the begining. Imagine me cheating on my steady gf just because she wouldn't put her feet in my lap? It'd be silly if I did right, but it'd also be silly that she wouldn't.
Your logic is spot on and makes perfect text book sense.
Does not change the fact though that there exists real life temptation factors of wanting things just because we feel like we can't have them. Celebrity fetishes being one large example.
Many sub-derivatives of the concept of "wanting-what-we-can't-have" also play out in daily life, either consciously or sub-consciously. Easier to spot though and nip at the bud when we are more self-aware of the illogical fluke. Was just FYI
quote:Originally posted by Fate111: Guys, to women, start off as complete strangers, then as time goes on, a guy can become a sexy stranger, then a sexy friend, then, if both parties desire it, a sexy lover in a committed relationship.
There are ways to greatly accelerate this timeline. I'm sure a number of guys here have accidentally stumbled across accelerated comfort building at times and probably unknowlingly wrote them off as pure luck or coincidence.
Other guys here do it as artform of the game. I suspect GQguy knows a little about how to accelerate comfort building and attraction in women, which may explain his early attempts at letting the cat out of the bag so to speak.
posted
my wife's answer to this, don't count her out. with time and comfort, she can well change her point of view.
me... GQ, you've given tons of sound advice before and have a really good handle on this subject. if she's very reluctant, chances are good you've spotted that accurately and may not be able to 'motivate' her to change later on.
I have a thing for feet and high heels. i've been with my wife (including dating time) six years. it's just now that she's "getting" it and understanding how serious I am about it. that requires loads of patiences.
I don't doubt your approach, and understand your dilema. had i 'sprung' my wife this info in our dating days, we'd never get this far. she told me she would have shown me the door quick fast. but.. my patience won her over because i was not 'freaky' about it.
you're in a tough bind. wish ya luck with that (yeah, some advices i'm giving). but if she's that put off by it, it may be very difficult if not impossible to sway her mind.. and cheating over feet will never fly!!!
i guess it's off to finding another gal to get close and possibly date.. biting your tongue and leaving feet out is super hard to do.. super hard!
I've rarely expressed my interest in a gal's feet during a conversation - especially at the outset of a relationship. I've simply involved her feet in our sexual encounters when it feels like it is part of the "natural flow". I've been very fortunate that my intuition has been correct about the right moment. In short, I don't tell her as much as I show her. Again, with time, she will understand the importance of her feet to me. Still, just because it worked for me, doesn't mean that it will work for anybody else.
To answer the question more directly, no, I have never turned a girl down because of her feelings about her feet...mostly because I never felt the need to ask. All that is material to me about her "stance" is how good her feet look bare and in 5 inch heels.
Good luck resolving your situation.
Posts: 5067 | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Yeah I have broken up with a girl over that but not through lack of trying. She was very sweet as well but not adventurous at all in bed. I do rate a devoted relationship more highly than good sex, but I believe if you can't get the sex right then you can't get the relationship right either. I also believe it is easier to change her sexual attitudes than her entire personality, which is why I'm more likely to stick with a woman that I get along with well than one who is good in bed. OK enough justifying my actions...
I have converted a few. I like the feeling of opening them up to something they otherwise would never try. Well first of all I avoid verbally telling any of them, I let my actions speak for themselves. I could try saying it with humour but my humour is often dark and dry so if she doesn't get it then she would probably think I'm even weirder. So I waited until we actually were in bed because then I know that I have her respect and that she is comfortable with making herself that vulnerable to me, especially if she is a prude.
I'm a rather touchy-feely guy and by this stage she probably would have figured that out. I'd be touching, kissing, massaging different parts of her body during foreplay whether I liked feet or not. I take that opportunity to see the response to having their feet enjoyed, all of which have been favourable except for the girl who I ended up breaking up with. It was just a train wreck with her ofter that. She jerked a bit but I just thought she was ticklish. I tried it again and she started saying how it was weird, gross, a turn off and that she didn't want me to kiss her anymore that night. It clearly hasn't worked for all of them but the others just appeared as if it was like I was doing it to any other part of the body.
This still is not exactly the response I would like. I don't think I need to tell you that there is more to a woman than her feet but you have to know that if you treat it like any other part of the body than that is all it is ever going to be. I'm generally not very good at expressing my feelings with women, but feet are the perfect avenue for me to do that. I love doing things like foot massages, painting her nails, rubbing moisturiser on them, cleaning them in the bath etc. Doing these things is a win-win for both of us.
Getting her to do footjobs is another issue, and honestly I don't have any advice on that. I think it is a good idea in any case to inquire about her own perversions once you have shared yours so you can give something back as a thank you. I've had people think I was a prude. So who knows maybe your girl might have a secret wild side.
I think I deviated a bit but I hope something I said was worthwhile. Just don't break up with her without trying. You could tell her not to knock it without trying as well but that could come across as being bitter. You're the one who seems to prefer to talk, maybe you could work that out. Posts: 95 | Registered: Jun 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
I understand where u are coming from GQ, you lack patience and want quick results !!
Lately, I've convinced myself that most people would do 'anything reasonable' for someone they love. If you want a relationship full of foot fun you may be lucky enough to meet someone that likes feet or is really open minded as you have indicated by those that you are currently acquainted with.
However for the frau'line you are dating you may have to get her in love with you to a state where she wants to keep you and will do what it takes.
My advice; if she has nice feet and if everything else about her is good, stick with it and try and get her crazy about you. However if there are other issues that you are not happy with or if you sense a stubborness in her, cut her away and hunt someone else.
Posts: 461 | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
If she was bomb, I would let it slide and date her. I wouldn't marry her and I wouldn't feel bad about getting foot action on the side.
Posts: 460 | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
It all depends on you. If you can deal with that and still have a healthy relationship, go for it. But you won't change her mind about it.
Posts: 1278 | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
So who knows maybe your girl might have a secret wild side.![[Tongue]](tongue.gif)
