quote:Originally posted by RPM: 2- if you pressure her to perform for your needs and she gets nothing out of it (doing a footjob as my wife says is all performance and work with very little in-the-moment-rewards) then she won't be in the mood and it will kill your wood.
not everyone will want to partake in your kind (your being generic here).. when you make the event about her, in time, it translates to more enthusiasm and more excitement for you.
the fact she's willing to participate is a huge plus for you. she could just say flat out no thanks.
my only tip for you... don't make the FJ the focus of the event. move it to some other point inside the love making (after a good dialogue about this of course). that way, she knows she's getting her needs met before and after your needs are being met (FJ wise). this may prove very helpful.. i hope. i know that with me, wifey is not into FJ.. too much work. (to date, I only got one and it's not been much worth writting about here). but.. mixing her needs into what I like has revolutionized our love life and I'm happy and so is she (even though i highly doubt there will be a second attempt at a FJ)
RPM
Geez. I respectfully disagree. If your significant other won't "do the work" who else is supposed to? I know! Tiger Wood's mistresses. Relationships are work! If you want a great guy(i'm assuming we all are) she must work. I know I work for my girl...but i'd never even call it that. I'm taking care of my baby(i'm single now..so taking applications for "baby" ;o) )
She gets nothing out of it? What? Pleasing her man. Love affection support don't count? Saying she gets nothing out of it sounds like a hooker giving away free samples. No. If a woman isn't enthusiastic about pleasing me I have two options 1) Fire the girl and hire a new one 2) step up my game. I elect to perform both with each breakup.
If she flat out says no it's time to find a new girl.
I love making my woman feel good sexually. There are few limitations to as far as i'll go to satisfy her. Most guys share this mentality. Shall she wait to the next life to have the sex she wants. More importantly...shall you? Do angels even have feet?
In summary: Your girl should be thrilled to please you. Read tyranny's post on how she desires to indulge her man. Can you tell me she wants to give her guy footjobs for nothing? Only a selfish chic thinks that way. Have the sex you want now.
GQ
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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GQ.... i've held your view a long time. but marriage (i work hard to never have to experience a divorce).. has changed my views a little. hence my post.
I agree, work is involved. Believe me, I put in my work! and that's why things are cool.. my wife puts in her work to.. just in my case, that work does not involve FJ's.. because to her, it's not gratifying in the moment it's being performed. instead of pushing and asking her to do it and getting her to resent the act, i let that one drop off the menu. i didn't marry her for the FJ's!!! lol!!!
prior to this month, my post would have gotten a 100% agreement from you... lol!!! go marriage!! lol!!!!!!!!
RPM
p.s. i don't ever mind respectful disagreement! especially from a thought out fella like you
quote:Originally posted by RPM: prior to this month, my post would have gotten a 100% agreement from you... lol!!! go marriage!! lol!!!!!!!!
I feel you. We're in different stages in life. But what happened this month that would change my mind? I'm a lil lost.
GQ
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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Quote from xyzhousexyz "3. My girlfriend isn't as enthused about pleasing me as .. (not that i expect ever girl to be a pro) porn star, she doesn't seem to be into hand jobs/foot jobs/blow jobs" It goes both ways my ex boyfriend had a foot fetish, i like my hair pulled and a good spanking. I made sure he was taken care of and the same for me. Example we were at a friends house for dinner i took my shoe off under the table and drove him crazy. We ended up alone after dinner down stairs waiting for desert, i took my shoe off quickly and placed it over my boyfriends nose for a few seconds. He went crazy, when we got home it only took a few minutes for me to finish him off with my feet. Then he gave me a good spanking and great sex .. it goes both ways xoxo Cathymules
Posts: 83 | Registered: Jul 2006
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why did wait 3 years into the relationship? i think this is your fault buddy.
-------------------- "Nina, this is my house, you work for me, and I want to suck your toes." -Big Trouble (2002) Posts: 1855 | Registered: Nov 2007
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it's not all her fault or something, if she just doesn't like doing it, it's just not her thing.
BUT you're right, if a women likes to do it, because she get's enjoyment from the fact that her man is going crazy, she'll smile and talk and focus on what she's doing and I have to agree with you men, if she's enjoying it, smiling at your enjoyment or reactions to what she's doing, you'll blow your load within 2 minutes, giuaranteed!!!
I have had footjobs from beautiful women with beautiful feet, that just weren't really into it and it effected me, took w while for me too reach orgasm.
BUT I can also remeber getting just a little foottease/rub fuklly clothed!!! from a girl that wasn't pretty ar had sexy feet, but she kbnew my love for feet and loved to exploit it. I mean it in a good way when I say that I always felt like she had the feeling she needed something to give herself some kind of edge in our sexlife, because she never felt attractive enough for me, which was nonsense in my opinion.
But whenever she used her feet on me, I crumbled and got horny like a teenage boy and i could see in her eyes and smile that she loved it, it looked like she enjoyed it, because it gave her the feeling that she was unresistable in that way.
and the way she smiled and looked me dead in the eye anytime she used her feet just got me going like crazy!!! just sitting on the couch, she would softly rub my hardon while i was flly clothed and I'm not ashamed to admit that most of the time...most of the time... I couldn't handle it for more than 40 seconds.
mostly because she never broke eye-contact and she smiled while doing it, she enjoyed the fact that she had that "power" over me. She didn't feel pretty, but she was to me!!!
so you got a point there dude,
don't worry!!!
you love feet!!!
Posts: 225 | Registered: Feb 2007
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quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Geez. I respectfully disagree. If your significant other won't "do the work" who else is supposed to? I know! Tiger Wood's mistresses. Relationships are work! If you want a great guy(i'm assuming we all are) she must work. I know I work for my girl...
...Your girl should be thrilled to please you. GQ
GQ,
Marriage/long-time relationships are not as black and white as you may think. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but it may be a bit over-stated.
I too felt the EXACT same way 10-15 years ago in my 20's when I was single and played the part perfectly. I too was also told how naive I was by older guys such as my brother who had been married for several years... and they were absolutely right.
Your woman should please you. BUT, there are many caveats to that statement.
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Geez. I respectfully disagree. If your significant other won't "do the work" who else is supposed to? I know! Tiger Wood's mistresses. Relationships are work! If you want a great guy(i'm assuming we all are) she must work. I know I work for my girl...
...Your girl should be thrilled to please you. GQ
GQ,
Marriage/long-time relationships are not as black and white as you may think. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but it may be a bit over-stated.
I too felt the EXACT same way 10-15 years ago in my 20's when I was single and played the part perfectly. I too was also told how naive I was by older guys such as my brother who had been married for several years... and they were absolutely right.
Your woman should please you. BUT, there are many caveats to that statement.
I get that I might be a tad idealistic and or naive. But I don't get the point in getting married if your wife doesn't take pleasure in pleasing you. I think that's the reason so many guys get caught up in infidelity. Their wives aren't taking care on business at home. Really...you've got a gentleman that would love a footjob from his wife. She won't give it to him. Everyday his secretary tempts and flirts with him. I'm big on integrity but wow....we live once. He should divorce her and get the sex he wants now. Marriage is forever, is one supposed to wait till death do you part to have the sex you want?
I get that marriage isn't all about sex. But without the sex they want both partners will remain wanting and unfulfilled...in my opinion. Currently I nip it in the bud when i'm dating a girl. I could be engaged....but if our sex life falters i'm out. I'll take care of my end...but she needs to ensure her end is too. This is important to me. And accepting less is selling one's self short. I bet you all of those men that are caught publicly cheating i.e Clinton, tiger, Kobe ect had they properly vetted their spouses wouldn't be in that stupid mess. I'm avoiding that. In my world if my girl won't some other girl will.
But I would love to hear about the dynamics and reasons for marriage. The stuff i'm missing from my life experience. How can one go without an enthusiastic partner? Is that love? Who does she think will take care of her husband if she doesn't. All of this with the assumption that the husband takes care of HIS business.
Thanks gentlemen
GQ
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Have you tried just fucking her feet rather than having her "perform" for you? It might be easier if she wasn't the one doing the work.
Posts: 48 | Registered: Sep 2005
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Were they pedicured ? Sometimes colour matters blue toes turn me off but pinks and purple and its job done. I know not the most detailed insight but thought i'd chip in
Posts: 19 | Registered: Jun 2009
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quote:Originally posted by RPM I respectfully disagree. If your significant other won't "do the work" who else is supposed to?
Excellent point, especially in a monogamous relationship.
quote: ... Relationships are work! ... I know I work for my girl...but i'd never even call it that.
Absolutely. I can't tell how many times I've thought my jaws were going to lock or my tongue cramp up because of a marathon clit/ass licking. Why did I continue the "work"? because I knew that she'd have a mind-blowing orgasm- which I enjoy giving her. You sacrifice for each other.
Posts: 9728 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Here is what I would do; I'd just let her lay on her back, prop her feet in my face, (maybe occasionally rubbing one or both feet on my balls), and let her finish me with her hand. For me it's the same difference and less work for her.
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Geez. I respectfully disagree. If your significant other won't "do the work" who else is supposed to? I know! Tiger Wood's mistresses. Relationships are work! If you want a great guy(i'm assuming we all are) she must work. I know I work for my girl...
...Your girl should be thrilled to please you. GQ
GQ,
Marriage/long-time relationships are not as black and white as you may think. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but it may be a bit over-stated.
I too felt the EXACT same way 10-15 years ago in my 20's when I was single and played the part perfectly. I too was also told how naive I was by older guys such as my brother who had been married for several years... and they were absolutely right.
Your woman should please you. BUT, there are many caveats to that statement.
I get that I might be a tad idealistic and or naive. But I don't get the point in getting married if your wife doesn't take pleasure in pleasing you. I think that's the reason so many guys get caught up in infidelity. Their wives aren't taking care on business at home. Really...you've got a gentleman that would love a footjob from his wife. She won't give it to him. Everyday his secretary tempts and flirts with him. I'm big on integrity but wow....we live once. He should divorce her and get the sex he wants now. Marriage is forever, is one supposed to wait till death do you part to have the sex you want?
I get that marriage isn't all about sex. But without the sex they want both partners will remain wanting and unfulfilled...in my opinion. Currently I nip it in the bud when i'm dating a girl. I could be engaged....but if our sex life falters i'm out. I'll take care of my end...but she needs to ensure her end is too. This is important to me. And accepting less is selling one's self short. I bet you all of those men that are caught publicly cheating i.e Clinton, tiger, Kobe ect had they properly vetted their spouses wouldn't be in that stupid mess. I'm avoiding that. In my world if my girl won't some other girl will.
But I would love to hear about the dynamics and reasons for marriage. The stuff i'm missing from my life experience. How can one go without an enthusiastic partner? Is that love? Who does she think will take care of her husband if she doesn't. All of this with the assumption that the husband takes care of HIS business.
Thanks gentlemen
GQ
I can see both sides of this to some degree.
Yeah, I'm not married so I can see where getting what you want out of a partner when it comes to sex is important. I mean, why be around someone who doesn't give you what you want?
On the flip side, the thing that I hear often from couples who have been together awhile is that sex can get boring. Sometimes, instead of something to look forward to, sex becomes more like a routine. When it becomes routine, then it can get boring. Out of this boredom usually comes compromise so that everyone "gets what they want".
I think it may be more of a mindset that sex becomes "boring" because it's so readily available. It's like that old joke about how air is like sex - It's no big deal, until you aren't getting any.
In my opinion, the most important thing, as a guy, is to make sure to take care and do what she likes. I think that's a huge key. I think that if a guy is truly getting a girl off every time they're intimate, the girl will practically bend over backwards to do what it takes to please the guy she's with. If that's not happening, then the guy had better reevaluate what he's doing because he may not be getting her off. Or, if he is getting her off and she is just not into reciprocation in the form of getting his needs met, then he should move on and find another woman who will meet those needs.
-------------------- "I like feet... A lot!" Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
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quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Geez. I respectfully disagree. If your significant other won't "do the work" who else is supposed to? I know! Tiger Wood's mistresses. Relationships are work! If you want a great guy(i'm assuming we all are) she must work. I know I work for my girl...
...Your girl should be thrilled to please you. GQ
GQ,
Marriage/long-time relationships are not as black and white as you may think. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but it may be a bit over-stated.
I too felt the EXACT same way 10-15 years ago in my 20's when I was single and played the part perfectly. I too was also told how naive I was by older guys such as my brother who had been married for several years... and they were absolutely right.
Your woman should please you. BUT, there are many caveats to that statement.
I get that I might be a tad idealistic and or naive. But I don't get the point in getting married if your wife doesn't take pleasure in pleasing you. I think that's the reason so many guys get caught up in infidelity. Their wives aren't taking care on business at home. Really...you've got a gentleman that would love a footjob from his wife. She won't give it to him. Everyday his secretary tempts and flirts with him. I'm big on integrity but wow....we live once. He should divorce her and get the sex he wants now. Marriage is forever, is one supposed to wait till death do you part to have the sex you want?
I get that marriage isn't all about sex. But without the sex they want both partners will remain wanting and unfulfilled...in my opinion. Currently I nip it in the bud when i'm dating a girl. I could be engaged....but if our sex life falters i'm out. I'll take care of my end...but she needs to ensure her end is too. This is important to me. And accepting less is selling one's self short. I bet you all of those men that are caught publicly cheating i.e Clinton, tiger, Kobe ect had they properly vetted their spouses wouldn't be in that stupid mess. I'm avoiding that. In my world if my girl won't some other girl will.
But I would love to hear about the dynamics and reasons for marriage. The stuff i'm missing from my life experience. How can one go without an enthusiastic partner? Is that love? Who does she think will take care of her husband if she doesn't. All of this with the assumption that the husband takes care of HIS business.
Thanks gentlemen
GQ
Let me preface by saying please excuse my grammar as I will be writing this on the fly in short time....
Nobody is saying that you should ever marry or commit to a woman that is unwilling to please you. I too agree that this would be a recipe for disaster. What I am saying is that the amount of sex you have may decrease with time. Particularly with footjobs, where the novelty will eventually wear off. If you think that you'll be going at it as often as when you first met or first started dating... you are in for a rude awakening.
Why does this happen?.... Basically, life gets in the way. You end up working long hours, traveling for work. I can't tell you how many times my wife and I would both be traveling. We would talk on the phone about how we were going to tear it up when we both get home. However, after a week of long meetings, airports, hotels, you end up getting home on a Thursday or Friday night at midnight, you are dead to the world and sex is the last thing on your mind. Then Saturday rolls around and you maybe have time for a quick one in the morning before some birthday party, wedding, or other engagement that you have.
Then there's kids.... I don't think I need to explain this one.
So why get married?....
My single friends constantly tell me that I was crazy to get married. Before marriage, I was living the life of Riley. After I finished school and had been working for a few years I had it all. I was making good money, had a couple of nice cars, a great place in the city (Chicago) with a phenomenal view. I was out all the time, constantly taking weekend trips everywhere. One Wednesday, I might decide that I wanted to go to Vegas that weekend, or escape the cold and visit friends in LA, or maybe take a spur of the moment golf trip with some buddies to Florida. I'd get a ticket, pack my bags and I was gone the next day. And the women... PLENTY to do WHATEVER was needed.
Was I crazy to get married? Looking back and knowing what I know now... I was crazy NOT to get married. I mentioned the amount of sex you have dimishes, but the quality of the sex that you do have goes through roof. Everyone is different in their sexual tastes, and when two people REALLY get know what the other likes (and this comes from years of practice), the sex can be mind-blowing. Will you have days where you wish you were getting more of it? Absolutely. Would you trade the quality for quantity.... Not in a million years. Aside from sex, when you find that one girl that becomes partner, there is nothing like it. You have found a companion for life (hopefully). I believe that way too many people married for wrong reasons, or married way to young, and gave marriage a bad name.
For me, marriage is a one time shot. I was VERY carefull before I decided to get married. I thought about it LONG and HARD and made for damn sure I was ready. Nobobdy goes into marriage thinking they'll end up divorced, but too many people fall into lust and get swept up in the moment and get married way too fast. Am I naive enough to think that it will always be this good? Never, I realize that things can change. But like any investment, I did my homework going in and made a very calculated risk.
And the day your first child is born.... best day of your life.
Posts: 638 | Registered: Aug 2004
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