posted
I'm a college writing professor that occasionally gives guest lectures in various departments such as History, Women's Studies, Psychology, Art. In a Human Sexuality course in the Psych dept. I give a lecture/slide show on de-pathologizing fetishism - in particular foot fetish. I try to encourage tolerance, showing cultural implications and how it can be often indexed to some impulses of creativity and more. The audiences are curious and supportive for the most part. This is not at all part of the curriculum in the writing classes I teach, but on occasion a student might be looking for extra credit or to make up excessive absences so I mention they can come see the guest lecture and provide a one page response to the topic. I give a caution that they may find the topic strange or explicit and if they hesitate then perhaps something else might suit them better. Anyhoo...a student recently met my wife in a park and through casual discussion she realized I was her instructor 4 years ago. She told my wife I was very nice and helped her writing out a great deal and cut her a lot of extra slack. Truth is I probably should have flunked her because her writing was awful and really did not improve much even with all the support I gave her...but she did the extra credit and I was a softy so gave her a 'C'. Fast forward 4 years...Then she dropped the bomb, telling my wife 'Can I ask you something?' 'What's up with his foot fetish?' 'It kinda freaked out everybody in class (only 2 or 3 went to the guest lecture, no part of it was for their grade). We were all talking about it.', 'Don't you find it weird?'!?!?! All this while my 11-year-old daughter is standing right there. I wonder if she is truly that dense, inconsiderate, passive-aggressive, mean, or feeling she is settling some past score with an innocent smile? How should I handle it? I may run into her next time as we go to that park a couple times a week...your takes and advice?
Posts: 91 | Registered: May 2004
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posted
Well... did you say in class that you have a fetish? If you did, that would be very strange, and here in sweden it would be breaking school law.
If not. She's guessing you out. And seems pretty damn dim and inconciderate.
Posts: 9 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
You said "in particular foot fetish" which she obviously took the liberty of making some implications from (whether real or imagined)- but how incredibly insensitive- not only for your wife but especially for your daughter.
My take is that you certainly could play it down if and when you see her again- and I'd certainly try to avoid having your daughter around.
Can you refresh my memory? What's your wife's take on your foot fetish?
Posts: 9728 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by s8r: How should I handle it? I may run into her next time as we go to that park a couple times a week...your takes and advice?
I once knew a girl who would intentionally talk negatively about me and my foot fetish in 3rd person to people on the phone or people who were right in front of me. It was beyond degrading and humiliating.
Ironically, it actually made me want to lick and smell her feet even more. I never actually confronted her about how degraded she made me feel and I sorta regret having not let her know this.
Nowadays, a growing number of fetishists often talk about their social bravery and how confident they are about being able to publicly release the news of their foot fetishes from internal isolation. I applaud those foot fetishists who have grown this mentality, but at the same time I caution them to be weary of a world that is not as accepting of us as we'd like to believe.
This girl who dropped the bomb on your wife seems to be one of the many ignorant closed minded people who exist in this world. Unfortunately, this lack of foot fetish acceptance is still a reality of our times.
The fact that she mentioned how groups of people were freaked out by it implies that she was not alone in her closed-mindedness.
Her course of action reminds me of a quote I heard in a movie years ago:
quote:Originally said by Hannibal Lecter: "People don't always tell you what they are thinking. They just see to it that you don't advance in life."
I believe that is the reason she released her own thoughts from internal isolation by telling your wife.
[ September 14, 2010, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: Tyler D. ]
posted
Sorry, If I got the chance to confront her or anyone else degrading me, I would definitely speak my mind and let them know it is not cool
-------------------- New Ship but she's got the right name. You treat her like a lady and she'll always bring you home. Posts: 4051 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
Thanks for your replies...as for my wife, she's known me for so long and not really into the foot fetish thing but loves the massages and pedicures I give her, tolerates my porn collecting and late-night tootsie raids under the covers, long as it's on the D-low...but she has her gripes at times, including 'thanks to you and your dumb fetish some former student said this to me in front of your daughter'. In some ways she was more pissed at me than the nut-job b****. Like I said, the topic of FF never comes up in classes I teach it's just part of a lecture series and ongoing research with audience surveys for other classes I'm guesting in. I've collected over 200 survey forms from audeicne reaction to the topic for future conference papers or publication. I went through some old records and found her email and have been tempted to play some weird passive-aggressive tricks of my own such as... sending her an email out of the blue that innocently says nothing more than "I'm so glad I was helpful to you when you needed it with your writing" and leave her to ponder what I knew or thought...but my wife said 'no good can come of that'. And I need no troubles at the college if I want favorable evaluations and a crack at tenure...still... Anything else, folks?
Posts: 91 | Registered: May 2004
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posted
Well you shouldn't be ashamed in anyway your a guy with a love for female feet it would be like looking at breast Although, remeber your place after all you are a teacher and I can see how u can be distracted that must be hard but never lose your cool and I do agree just drop it she was just pissed because she new u pity her writing!!
Posts: 302 | Registered: Mar 2010
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posted
"So I have a foot fetish. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?"
-------------------- And today we're all brothers Tonight we're all friends A moment of peace in a war that never ends Posts: 1014 | Registered: Jul 2010
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