I can go into more detail if you've got questions but I'll try to keep this brief.
I went through puberty with broadband and never limited my foot fetish porn intake. Because I was insecure about my fetish I never indulged it until I'd already made myself unable to maintain an erection without fantasising about REALLY stinky feet...like, masochistically stinky. It's because my porn intake got more extreme and I became desensitized without having any real life experience to counteract the fantasy that's it's gotten to this point.
I feel I can't get into a relationship because I'd have to have sex before I'd be able to indulge my fantasies but I can't do that because my dick doesn't respond to anything but the fantasy. I could bounce around and date normally but I just don't have it in me to go through that ordeal of not being able to get it up again and again when I feel I know what the root problem is.
I wanted to see if you guys thought it'd be a good idea to get this fantasy out of my system because I am well adjusted in almost all areas of life and fairly desirable. It'd cost more than I ever thought I'd pay to sniff and lick feet but I've been to two mistresses before and they just didn't cut it...they did nothing wrong but I felt like I'd been burned.
I want my normal foot fetish back. I shouldn't have felt so ashamed of it that I hid from life in porn and fantasy but I did...it's done.
I have some money and it's only pride and my perceived value of money (because I grew up poor) that is stopping me. It'd be nice to get some input though because I have read these forums for some time and I know there are some guys here who own their fetishes and might be able to think more clearly about this than I can right now.
posted
Well you're not alone. It's a societal epidemic and I'm sure a lot of guys on here can relate in some way. I certainly can.
Don't get mad at yourself for something you can't undo. Wipe it clean. 1 day at a time adds up. Retrain and rebuild yourself. It's as tough as heroin addicts trying to quit - but you see people do it.
Basically, you can do this if you're willing to put in the work. There is no easy way but the hard way on this issue. Each mistake you make now costs more compared to when you were a teen, so you have to be serious.
quote:Originally posted by KlassFX: Well you're not alone. It's a societal epidemic and I'm sure a lot of guys on here can relate in some way. I certainly can.
Don't get mad at yourself for something you can't undo. Wipe it clean. 1 day at a time adds up. Retrain and rebuild yourself. It's as tough as heroin addicts trying to quit - but you see people do it.
Basically, you can do this if you're willing to put in the work. There is no easy way but the hard way on this issue. Each mistake you make now costs more compared to when you were a teen, so you have to be serious.
Thanks man. It's even good just to know someone else can relate. I have friends who have suffered from porn induced ED but they didn't (to the best of my knowledge) have the fetish complication with it so I could never divulge the extent of my problem with them. For them it was enough to jack it till they could get it in but I don't have that casual an attitude toward sex (ironically).
It was your post in the feet...before the internet thread that prompted me to post this, actually. Are you the guy in a lot of the goddessesfootboy videos? There's a woman in London with killer feet who does sessions with them unwashed for up to 3 days...I was thinking of going for it so I could at least know and then put it back in the fantasy for special occasions only compartment...if that makes sense.
Posts: 6 | Registered: Sep 2014
| IP: Logged |
posted
I went through the porn induced ED as well. It's not your fantasy but the frequency of fapping probably. Quit fapping until you get naturally hard or cut down to once every other day for 5 to 10 mins per session. If I were you I'd order some well used women's shoes or socks off of Ebay or Ebanned and put your focus on them to help you get away from porn if you can't do it on your own.
There was a time in my 20s when I couldn't even get it up with a sexy lady with hot feet. That's what motivated me to get away from the porn and lay off the hand.
In about a months time I was waking up everyday with morning wood which I don't ever remember even having in my teens. I still wake up just about daily with morning wood and I'm in my early 30s. I discovered that there's more to sex than just feet. Kissing and fondling gets me rock hard and I love vaginal sex when at once I thought it was only about feet.
It's true as well when you quit the porn that you will begin to have a drive to approach real women.
quote:Originally posted by 5thgear: If I were you I'd order some well used women's shoes or socks off of Ebay or Ebanned and put your focus on them to help you get away from porn if you can't do it on your own.
Good luck.
That's all sound advice (even though I clipped a bit for the quote)...thanks. Do you think the socks would be better than seeing this woman? I mean, at least then I would know if I actually like the stink. I know I like smell but...disgusting sweaty stink? I don't know. I never like the idea of it post-cum but I also don't like the idea of buying socks (shoes I'm not interested in). Part of me wants some actual closure on these years I've spent with this fantasy. That won't go away until I've lived it out, the only question is do I do it with someone I care about for the first time or do it now and then (hopefully) be able to chill a bit and take your advice about the wanking. I can stop that for, like, a month, without issue. Then the fantasy comes back into the picture and I crack.
Posts: 6 | Registered: Sep 2014
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Dayman: Thanks man. It's even good just to know someone else can relate. I have friends who have suffered from porn induced ED but they didn't (to the best of my knowledge) have the fetish complication with it so I could never divulge the extent of my problem with them. For them it was enough to jack it till they could get it in but I don't have that casual an attitude toward sex (ironically).
It was your post in the feet...before the internet thread that prompted me to post this, actually. Are you the guy in a lot of the goddessesfootboy videos? There's a woman in London with killer feet who does sessions with them unwashed for up to 3 days...I was thinking of going for it so I could at least know and then put it back in the fantasy for special occasions only compartment...if that makes sense.
Yeah, too many soldiers are unhappy and I wanted to say something about it. I'm not in GFB's material, but we work together on stuff.
I think going to a live session is better than fantasy on the computer. I know the stinky feet love, I just saw a girl that wore her shoes all day for me.
quote:Originally posted by Dayman: That's all sound advice (even though I clipped a bit for the quote)...thanks. Do you think the socks would be better than seeing this woman? I mean, at least then I would know if I actually like the stink. I know I like smell but...disgusting sweaty stink? I don't know. I never like the idea of it post-cum but I also don't like the idea of buying socks (shoes I'm not interested in). Part of me wants some actual closure on these years I've spent with this fantasy. That won't go away until I've lived it out, the only question is do I do it with someone I care about for the first time or do it now and then (hopefully) be able to chill a bit and take your advice about the wanking. I can stop that for, like, a month, without issue. Then the fantasy comes back into the picture and I crack.
If a woman will entertain what you want, then why not see her? Are you sure the fantasy will go away once you live it out? We're all different but what do you consider a normal foot fetish? There were times I fantasized about women in dresses and heels and now it's more about women in flats and yoga pants or tights. I even fantasize about pussy. I think it's normal for people in the fetish to have a thing for stinky feet.
Posts: 735 | Registered: Apr 2013
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by 5thgear: If a woman will entertain what you want, then why not see her? Are you sure the fantasy will go away once you live it out? We're all different but what do you consider a normal foot fetish? There were times I fantasized about women in dresses and heels and now it's more about women in flats and yoga pants or tights. I even fantasize about pussy. I think it's normal for people in the fetish to have a thing for stinky feet.
I think it will be able to return to fantasy again if I live it out. I shouldn't have been jerking to the most outlandish fantasies I have exclusively. At least then I'll know if I like it in reality or if it was always only a fantasy. My relationships then won't be a means to an end because I do believe that fantasy is meant to be a little inaccessible...that's what makes it special!
I'd like to be easily physically aroused by all the things I like and that goes back to knocking the jerking on the head for a while. Some dudes get a boner from making out! If that's normal I am so far gone haha!
This is really two separate issues I realise now. The ED one is fairly simple since so many are suffering from it there is a lot of info that applies to me...fetish or no fetish.
Posts: 6 | Registered: Sep 2014
| IP: Logged |
bluetoelover
unregistered
posted
I've gone through phases so to speak where I'd rather watch porn then have sex/foot stuff with my girlfriend(now wife). I literally unplugged my laptop and didn't "plug in" for almost 2 weeks. First 3 days were the hardest but after that I was horny as hell for my wife and then when I DID plug back in I only went on porn sites once or twice a week.
I also added in a gym membership, healthy foods and just got out and enjoyed life instead of being concerned about what site to look at next. It got to the point of me surfing different sites looking for that perfect clip for like 2 or 3 hours at a time man.
IP: Logged |
posted
You don't have ED, there's nothing wrong with you.
Go back to the basic fundamental: you need chicks with really stinky feet.
Keep seeing girls until you find the right one. Your sample size isn't large enough. 3 or 4 mistresses won't do it. 10-20 real girls in flats will get you sorted out. Put the effort in and hit that number of attempts.
posted
Not that I'm trying to imply that you're 'crazy' or anything, but have you ever considered seeing a therapist about it?
Most of us here aren't true 'fetish' people, because a real clinically defined fetish is characterized by an inability to achieve arousal/orgasm without the presence of the object in question. Personally I love feet and they turn me on like its nobodys business, but I can always get into sex regardless of whether or not feet are part of the equation. I, like most others on this board, am more of a foot 'fanatic' than a foot 'fetishist'. From what I've read of your posts, it sounds as though your issue may fall under the clinical definition of a fetish. But hey, I'm not a doctor, so I may be wrong.
Part of the problem MAY be excessive masturbation or pornography usage, and like other posters have said, you may see a difference if you refrain from both for a while. However, if the problem persists, you may have a deeper issue at hand.
My recommendation is to cut out the porn and the masturbation for a while and see how you feel. If you still have issues, try talking it out witn a sex therapist? Someone who is trained and educated in such matters may be able to offer more insight than we here at Wu's would be qualified to give. We've always got your back and we would never willingly steer you wrong, but in extreme cases its sometimes best left to professionals.
That having been said, I would NEVER say go to a church to resolve the issue there. Religious organizations are notorious for intolerance of sexual issues, and even moreso for unorthodox sexual affinities, including fetishism. It may end up causing you to feel ashamed of yourself, which I can assure you, there is nothing for you to feel ashamed or inadequate about.
posted
Thanks guys. I'll take what you've said on board.
I'm not offended though. It is a mental issue but I work in mental health and love psychology so there isn't the stigma with me. If it weren't to do with my junk (and more specifically, excessive self-indulgence which I do find shameful) there would really be no stigma.
Posts: 6 | Registered: Sep 2014
| IP: Logged |
posted
I basically agree with Footguy87 on everything, but as far as excessive self-indulgence goes, that's very tricky. Who defines what is and what is not "excessive"? I suppose that if you do anything to extremes, even if it doesn't involve sexual gratification, it could be considered "excessive"
I would say that if something keeps you from developing meaningful relationships with others, and affects daily life such as school or work, then I suppose that would be a cause for concern, but personally, I'm still trying to figure out what constitutes overindulgence.
posted
Adam has a point. 'Excessive' is a subjective term that I admittedly did little to clarify. What is important is what you consider excessive, and that's not for us to decide or define.
Based on my personal experience, however, I have seen issues of my own work themselves out when I decided to back off on masturbation and porn usage. It worked for me, take from that what you will.
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
