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Author Topic: The approach... Does anyone else struggle?
archadmirer
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I meet many women through work who I THINK are attracted to me, and while I'm not in the market for a LTR I WOULD like to show them a good time (feet and/or bondage)... But there seems to be this chasm between playful flirtation and asking them over. I want to approach women respectfully and with honesty about my intentions, but it seems like such a stretch from "good morning" to "want to get dinner sometime?". Does anyone else ever feel that awkwardness? Trepidation? It seems like such a simple thing to just asks someone if they want to enjoy play with you, but I feel this crazy internal resistance... I recently moved, and asked some former interests whether they had any idea I was attracted and they all seemed very surprised (but amenable, several asked when I would return).
I'm curious whether other people feel this way, and what strategies are helpful for dealing with your hesitance and/or ensuring the approach is respectful and honest?
Advice would be appreciated, stories at least enjoyed [Smile] Thanks

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edelbrock
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Well, lemme take a shot at this.

I think by far the most important part about your approach is simply being able to read social cues - learning the difference between being friendly and flirting. This can be more difficult when it comes to picking up women in the workplace because some good flirting will often involve subtle suggestions and sexual innuendos. You wouldn't want to cross the line in the workplace (depending on what your work rules are like) because you might end up dealing with a little more than just rejection.

Also, asking women out is a little more involved than attraction alone. Women like to be entertained (as do men, surely). If you find a woman that's attracted to you but you have nothing in common with her, there's a good chance all that sexual tension will lose out to boredom unless its just a passionate hook up (which may come with its own set of rules and cues). This is important because the amount of confidence you have when it comes to your approach is knowing that you can offer the lady something she will be interested in. You'll never have trouble getting a girl to join you if you know what she likes to do and can keep her entertained!

I'd like to set some examples but this area is so broad that entertainment could include almost anything. I know that I, personally, am a very social person. My first date with a woman will never be at a theater or a loud club or anywhere that will draw attention away from my conversation with her because I know that I can make a girl laugh or spill her guts to me through conversation alone. Find your niche and ride it!

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archadmirer
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Thanks for the advice, seems very sensible... I'll give it a whirl!
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TheSoleMates
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The approach is the hardest part for me. I realize that once you get over your personal issues and avoid feeling like your fetish is the top concern, things get much easier. The more relaxed you are and casual about the introduction to the feet, the more accommodating the woman is.

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archadmirer
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So true... philosophically I accept my desires, I wonder why it's still so nerve-wracking to ask permission to do something so seemingly innocuous (and hopefully pleasurable for both parties)?
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Memphis_Sole
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Can I ask.. As a woman with a foot fetish.. Mind you not for male feet for my own and other sexy female feet how would feel if a woman approached you about her foot fetish? Better yet what is the best way for her to approach you? I know that there have been threads about just relaxing and being natural but it's hard for me. I have tried everything from just being relaxed and sexy about it to just like hey I have foot fetish let's have fun! And I get the same response every time.... I don't want MY feet touched?!?!? I have other fetishes but I feel like this one is HUGE compared to the others although the others are fucked up lol have any of you ever been approached by a woman with a foot fetish? Do you have any tips?

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archadmirer
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From my perspective on the more dominant side of the spectrum, I love when women show their feet, dangling, scrunching, wiggling, adorning with anklets/rings/polish... this display works in public or private. When you observe a man watching your little show, you can simply catch his eye with a knowing smirk or use any line from coy (are you looking at my feet?) to aggressive (you like what you see?) Any foot related talk (regarding pedicures, polish, jewelry, shoes, massage, reflexology) should interest a man of our persuasion and afford him the opportunity to interject. More submissive men may even enjoy being humiliated in public (are you staring at my feet? Do you get off on that or something?)
I think in general men are more receptive to solicitation (and more inclined to see it as a compliment than an imposition even when not interested). I think I speak for all lovers of female feet here when I say please be more open with your desire for foot-oriented play, and tell every woman you know; we'll appreciate your efforts [Big Grin]

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