posted
Hi, I’m new here, and this might sound like an odd post.
I am in my 30’s and have had a foot attraction (I don’t like the word fetish) since as long as I can remember.
Also, I am a current trainee therapist and engage in self-reflection avidly.
My current training requires that I examine every aspect of myself, so this is a big part of my life.
This is relevant to say because, having searched for contemporary theories of ‘foot fetishes’, they mostly seem inadequate to me. I can’t imagine there’s a huge number of scientists interested in this area as a point of research.
There is some theory of how foot fetishes develop from a biological view, but they don’t offer much really, and there are older psychodynamic theories saying the foot is the same shape as a penis, so it is related to this why people become attracted to this area (I don’t buy this at all and it’s very outdated).
Basically, I am curious on what people’s personal theories are about why they developed an attraction to feet. Has it been obvious to you, or just something you have always known?
I will tell my own personal understanding, and state the parts that I think MIGHT generalised, and see what people think.
Firstly, I just wanted to say that I’m not suggesting everybody with a foot fetish has a trauma history. I do have a trauma history, and my development of my attraction to female feet is related to that.
Ok, when I was very young, during the development stages of life (pre-verbal) I have experienced vague, implicit memories that there were times growing up, where the only ‘safe’ thing I could latch onto, was a female foot. During these periods, being around the female foot felt like what my primitive mind might describe as ‘God’. This was safety, this was security, this was comfort, this was all I knew, and where I felt comforted.
My interpretation of this, is that as a child, we are constantly seeking out that which will keep us safe. In my absence of an appropriate caregiver to consistently give me the love and attention I needed, I clung onto the ‘foot’ as my safe haven, and this became the object that signified safety to me.
However, there were times when even this – the ‘female foot’ – didn’t feel safe anymore. It wasn’t always there to nurture me, and as a child this caused confusion. I take this to be times when the comfort I sought (from the foot) wasn’t there, i.e I was ignored, not protected or even abused (from a female friend of the family – this is the part that is my personal story).
This confusion of the female foot being God (i.e safe area) and at times non-responsive or even cruel, occurred during a time of sexual development as a child.
Now there is a consensus that we adapt to our environments. So in my case, during sexual development, I adapted to become attracted to the female foot, this was my safe place in childhood, and although there were times it was ambiguous, it had mainly felt like ‘home’ for me.
It doesn’t start off as a sexual thing, but because I didn’t consistently have my needs met, my development took on a trajectory that adapted to the female foot being the safe haven, and within my sexual development, my brain responded, I grew up and lo and behold I am attracted to female feet of women. So this is an adaptive response, because my brain reacted to finding comfort from a female’s foot in this way. For children who get the adequate nurturance as a children, they might adapt to that and grow up to be attracted to other, typical areas of the body (i.e. a breast fed child who found solace in that, grows up to like breasts).
For me, because there were times when the ‘foot’ wasn’t a safe place (i.e when I was ignored, when I needed care) my development also took a turn in that along with my foot attraction, I enjoy it when women dominate me using their feet (so unlike some, I enjoy being submissive to a women and her using her feet in such a way).
This makes sense to me, as the times the foot was a ‘cruel’ place during periods in childhood, I developed to be sexually aroused by a ‘cruel’ woman. My brain adapted to the environment I was brought up in, so the attraction to domineering women is my brain’s responses to survive such an upbringing. In other words, my development was responsive and completely normal for the conditions I have experienced.
Now the part I want to generalise (and correct me if I’m way off, these are just my thoughts) is that although I’m not saying trauma causes a foot fetish, it is feasible that in this modern world, when adults are so busy and not always available for children, the only sense of security some young children might have on occasion, comes from being at the feet of the caregiving adult (i.e mother).
If you imagine a child reaching up for some comfort, but at times not receiving that care, they then maintain this sense of safety from the foot of the woman they are at (because it’s the only response they are getting in that moment). The child then learns that this area is typically safe for them when they are in distress. This to me, would also support the idea that the foot fetish is the most common type of fetish, because in this modern world, adults are at times too busy to always respond to their child appropriately, that the child finds other ways to feel safe, and the ‘foot’ is always there even if being picked up and held isn’t.
Ok, that’s basically my theory in a nutshell. I know FOR ME, this explains my foot attraction, it makes perfect sense and I have slowly pieced this together over some years. I should say that I have had psychedelic and meditative experiences which has helped me piece this together, and it isn’t something I’ve just always known. So some of these thoughts might sound odd, as to how I can remember such early development.
Some of the insights I’ve gained into my own sexual development have come along spontaneously during these states, but have made perfect sense when they did, allowing me to get greater understanding of my development.
I’d love to start a discussion. Even if you disagree with my ideas, what are your thoughts on how/why you developed a foot fetish?
I should finish by saying I’m not looking into this through a lens that it needs changing or ‘curing’ at all. As I said in my story, for me it is as adaptive response – my brain has responded how anyone’s brain might respond in such a situation. So I feel it is actually a normal outcome to a very particular set of environmental circumstances (although society at large doesn’t quite accept the normality of it, for me these personal insights explain it more than anything else I’ve really come across).
Thanks for reading and I look forward to hearing some responses. If anybody actually finds these ideas interesting or would like to discuss, I’d be happy to engage.
posted
I sometimes think about why I'm attracted to women's feet--and I can come up with no explanation for it! I guess that it's simly an "irrational" urge that I have. I've heared that between 5-20% of men have this attraction, so we're definitely not alone.
-------------------- "You have very nice feet!" Posts: 3711 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
I've been sexually attracted to feet as long as I can remember. Even pre-puberty I can remember being fascinated with the feet of certain women, yes, that's right, even grown women but also girls close to my own age. I've always thought it had something to do with the fact that feet are often covered with closed shoes. My obsession with a particular woman's feet does seem to be stronger in winter when seeing those feet is more difficult. I've often wondered if foot fetishes are more common in cold places such as Russia or Canada than they are in Florida, or Hawaii where feet are always on display.
posted
Using that same logic, I wonder if fewer men are attracted to breasts in places where women going topless isn't taboo? After all, men go to "gentlemen's clubs" because they can't see naked breasts anywhere else except maybe the ones they may see at home. Maybe the same is true with feet.
posted
Everyone is different. I definitely was no trauma in the development of my foot fetish.
I had a kindergarten teacher that wore stockings and close toe shoes all day and would slip in and out of them. Her toes were perfect. I was amazed by them. The scent of corn chips I really liked. I was a kid so I think it was a just amazement obviously I couldn't get aroused.
The strange thing is she used to let me smell and kiss her feet. I guess she thought it was harmless although not sure if that would fly in the "snowflake era" of today.
The crazy thing was a I was shamed by it by siblings so embarrassed, my foot fetish disappeared.... until I was teenager. I had sex with quite a few of chicks, but feet wasn't something that aroused me.
It wasn't until I had sex with my gf after track practice. We figured that we might as well do it and then shower. lol The thing was her feet were so pungent and stank. I couldn't figure it was coming from until I had her legs up high.
The scent was overpowering. Layers of sweat and smelled like a strong vinegar, popcorn funk. I started sucking the sweat and stank off her feet. I noticed was was hard as cement and She made me stop because I was pounding way too hard and deep.
I discovered the scent of stinky feet put me in over drive. I read that foot fetish can mean that your brain is wired wrong which is it's most attracted to feet over everything else. Who knows.
Posts: 194 | Registered: Oct 2016
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quote:Originally posted by Vulcan Electra: Using that same logic, I wonder if fewer men are attracted to breasts in places where women going topless isn't taboo? After all, men go to "gentlemen's clubs" because they can't see naked breasts anywhere else except maybe the ones they may see at home. Maybe the same is true with feet.
Using your logic I can't believe guys with foot fetishes don't go to the strip club to fulfill fetish.
That's my go to place for feet. Their feet stink like I like them also. I'd rather pay than to go on tons of dates and not get feet at all. I actually quiz women before I take them out. I always offer a foot massage after a long day. If they say anything but "That sounds great" I stop talking to them. The worst thing you can do is be with a woman that isn't into the fetish.
Posts: 194 | Registered: Oct 2016
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solefull00
unregistered
posted
quote:Originally posted by footfunk305:
quote:Originally posted by Vulcan Electra: Using that same logic, I wonder if fewer men are attracted to breasts in places where women going topless isn't taboo? After all, men go to "gentlemen's clubs" because they can't see naked breasts anywhere else except maybe the ones they may see at home. Maybe the same is true with feet.
Using your logic I can't believe guys with foot fetishes don't go to the strip club to fulfill fetish.
That's my go to place for feet. Their feet stink like I like them also. I'd rather pay than to go on tons of dates and not get feet at all. I actually quiz women before I take them out. I always offer a foot massage after a long day. If they say anything but "That sounds great" I stop talking to them. The worst thing you can do is be with a woman that isn't into the fetish.
Strip clubs are the absolute best for feet! i like the transactional nature of it as you've mentioned. Takes whims/emotions out of it.
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