At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. on't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes. They always do, but foot guys don't mind
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Posts: 1366 | Registered: Jan 2004
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-------------------- Elz is my favorite model, but it's a close race! Sasha, Candi, and Nikki come very close! Posts: 652 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Here's an e-mail a buddy of mine sent me, and I figured it'd be more appropriate here than in the joke thread Brother Lord got started.
Here it is...
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. --- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. --- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. --- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.." --- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. --- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. --- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. --- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. --- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. --- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. --- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. --- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. --- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
All in humor ladies of the forum. Nothing to take too seriously.
-------------------- Like Girls? LikeReal Barefoot Girls?! Then this place is for you! www.dennis-n-mara.com Your best source for some Real Deal Hardcore Barefoot Girls! Posts: 5427 | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
good stuff. truly.... the ones i would've benefitted from women applying the most?
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Posts: 434 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
LMAO! Damn those are funny. If it makes you guys feel better, then fine. But thats because you know who really holds the upper hand. Besides, I hold Football Sunday more sacred than Neo! -Pinky
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Funny stuff.
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