posted
Ok, i am pretty short on time here, but this is basicly my question. Is it normal to be attracted to someone when your already in a relationship? Theres this girl who is my girlfriends friend, and we recently all started hanging out, but since then, I cant help but keep thinking about how nice she is, and honestly, how hott she is. If you were to rate the two on looks, i say they are about the same. I have been with my girlfriend on and off for about 6 years, and its not like I would leave her, but I just feel an attraction to this girl, and sometimes it seems like she feels the same. I dont know, theres more too it, like we have alot of the same things in common, and like alot of the same stuff, even some things that me and my gf dont share in interests. I dont think it is noticable, because I am more than sure my gf would have confronted me if i were "flirting." Is this normal or is it wrong to feel like this. Could it be that im still young? I'm only 20. What do you guys think? I didnt know where else to ask. lol
Posts: 523 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Sorry can't help you there but am interested in what others have to say, though I think it's normal to be attracted to others whilst in a realtionship, but acting on it is in a Totally different ball park...
-------------------- "When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit" - Dr Emmit L. Brown (Back To The Future) Posts: 7894 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
It is normal, it isn't wrong, it isn't because you are young. You may simply like the other girl better than the one you're with, even taking into account whatever your relationship has developed into over the past 6 years.
Think forward, try to figure out which girl has more potential for you, figure out what you want (at least in the near future) and go with it. If your feelings change later you can always go for something else.
Posts: 639 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Its completely fucking normal man and never stops. I can remember back to my wedding day looking over at the bride's maid and dying to see her feet out of her high heel shoes. Luckily the missus didn't catch me looking...
posted
Why do you think things like polygamy were ever introduced? It's because us guys naturally think of ourselves as the one single bee in the flower garden, and it's in our heads to want to pollinate every single lovely blossom that catches our eyes!
No man, you're not abnormal, but if the attraction gets too consuming you might want to step back and re-evaluate your situation with your current girlfriend. Don't wind up pining for one while indulging with the other...that's doing the both of you a disservice.
-------------------- Like Girls? LikeReal Barefoot Girls?! Then this place is for you! www.dennis-n-mara.com Your best source for some Real Deal Hardcore Barefoot Girls! Posts: 5427 | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
thx guys. I feel a little better now. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens in the next few weeks
Posts: 523 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
I do concur with everyone that responded. One thing I wanted to add was that you're still young yet (20) and, even though you've been with the same girl off and on now for 6 years, you're still a little bit young yet to be feelin that you're going to stay with the girl you're with now for the rest of your life. You may want to step back, as Lou suggested, and evaluate your attraction for this other girl if you feel yourself being consumed with thinking about her a lot. Being so young, you may want to lookin into "playing the field" so to speak if you find you're not all that happy with your girlfriend, even though you've been with her for several years. Ultimately, it's your call though.
Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
I know my advice may sound corny, and probably more than a little gay, but seriously, just follow your heart. A lot of times, it knows better than your rational, thought out conclusion.
I don't know about the specifics of your current relationship, the dynamics between yourself, your girlfriend, and her friend you seem to be more than attracted to. However, from my initial gut reaction to reading this post, I figured that if you've been on and off for 6 years, your heart is probably telling you that a change may be necessary or forthcoming. I'll apologize in advance if I offend you, but if you're just boyfriend and girlfriend, you don't really owe her anything asides from some honesty. You're not married, not engaged, and as far as I can tell, there's no child involved in your relationship, so there's no other sort of responsibility that's keeping you in the same relationship, asides from the fact that you may be afraid of change and doing something difference.
That's my take anyway. Like everyone else said, its normal to feel attracted to multiple women at a time, even when you're in a relationship. It's a remnant biological feeling that's really just a symptom of being male. But usually, when it comes to love, follow your gut and your heart; they tend to make a lot more sense than your mind.
posted
I agree with those who have posted here. To look and be attracted is completely normal. You are going through this, and so are millions of men and women in relationships or marriages. As has also been said, acting on it is a completely different thing. If you have been with your gf on and off for six years, you apparently have an important rapport with her on many levels. People just dont stay together for that long without reason or feelings. You need to decide if you want to act on it. If you and your gf don't have common interests, and this girl and you do, it seems to me that you have more important issues with both your girlfriend, and this girl, than just an attraction to her. You know the risks. You could decide to act on it, go for it, see if she accepts you, and, if she does, you get her, and you're not with your gf anymore. If that happens, then it was worth the try. However, of course, there is also the downside. You could decide to go for it, have the other girl either reject you, or tell you she doesnt feel the same way, your gf finds out, and you could lose both your gf, and the other girl's friendship. You need to decide if you want to take that risk. What would I do? Damn, I never like to give advice, but I'm also in a different stage of life than you are. I'm 37, and thinking that my age would dictate that anyone I was with for that long, I'd want to marry. I might not take the risk. As young as you are, if you wanted to go for it, even if the whole thing failed, and you lost your gf, you have youth on your side, and time to find someone else. I really dont know what to say, bro. It's a tough, tough, decision to make. I will say, that, leaving the other girl aside, if you and your gf really dont share common interests, that should be in your mind, in your decision about whether to remain with her long term, independent of what happens with the other girl. Good Luck. I hope it works out for you. It's a difficult situation.
posted
yea, its hard. There have been a few times in the past few months that my gf was saying she has been wanting space. We have talked alot about it, and I usually agree to it, but then we just end up getting back together. Things have been good lately, but now i'm thinking, if this happens again, or she starts feeling like this, should i accept it, and try to move on and see how things go. But then again, if i do, and she sees me going for her friend, she would probably feel like crap, since she was the one who introduced us. I dont know, its difficult, I dont even know if this ends, if that other girl would even give me the time of day, or if she is just a genuinly really nice, easy to get along w/ girl w/ everyone.
Edit: Oh, and incase u all are wondering about her feet my current gf has better looking feet than this other girl, but she does have hott soles, which i have had the privilege of seeing, alot. lol
Posts: 523 | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote:Originally posted by LeDaemon: Its completely fucking normal man and never stops. I can remember back to my wedding day looking over at the bride's maid and dying to see her feet out of her high heel shoes. Luckily the missus didn't catch me looking...
hahaha i'll be doing the same if I ever have a wedding day
-------------------- quote: ---------------------------------- posted by Andy - Laa: my posts in this thread are not as good as Michael P's Posts: 3024 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
No. You are fine. That is how you are hard wired. You are a man, period. I've been married for 13 years and still look and wonder (,but don't touch ) . That is one reason why I come to WU ... I call it taking my daily Visual Viagra .
-------------------- V/R, FM9 aka Mr. Footbooty "She had real pretty feet. I was always a sucker for pretty little feet... Outside of her being pretty and hip, with a good body, her feet is what attracted me." - p. 39 of "Miles" (Davis) The Autobiography Posts: 8821 | Registered: Sep 2003
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