posted
There was this girl I used to go out with. In my young, nimble, naivete, I thought I would eventually marry her especially after being with her for two years. She was incredibly beautiful and was the first girl with whom I was completely open with my sexuality, including my foot fetish.
For the freaks out there (myself included) that came to this thread hoping to masterbate to it, she was a size 10 wide with the most perfect, perportional toes and soft silky soles my tongue has ever graced.
As I mentioned, I was open with her about my foot fetish and she loved the attention she recieved from me. Anything that made her feet feel good, she was down for. I was open with her because I trusted her and I really really liked her.
There were two instances that happened to me where I was "outed" in front of people I didn't want knowing. To be honest with you fine folks, I don't like being completely open about my fetish to just anybody...
The first time it happened, we went to go visit her mother (who I was ready to call my mother-in-law) down south (a five hour drive) and somehow the topic of my fetish came up. After a glass or two of some wine, my girl's mother straight up asked me, "So ..., I understand you like feet."
[Awkward silence.]
"So what kind of things do you like doing with feet?"
[Awkward silence... at which point I turn beet red.]
The girl, "Oh, he likes doing all sorts of things!"
The mom responds "Like a FOOT-JOB?" with an enunciation on the last two words. At which point I feel cornered, embarrassed, humiliated, and like I got the wind kicked out of me.
I excused myself and went to try to calm down. I was pretty pissed at the girl. She didn't understand that I didn't like for other people to know about it. I really wanted that kept just between us... is that too much to ask? I mean, she has sisters that walk around barefoot in that house and I don't want them to feel awkward around me, ya dig?
Second incident, one month later:
This dinner-party thing happens at our place. Our third roommate is working the barbeque, I'm setting up stuff, and she's helping with the cooking. Our sole guest arrived (because the guests of honor decided to flake) and dinner was served.
After dinner, somehow, my foot fetish became the topic of conversation. The third roommate brought it up (again, wine) and I was motioned to her to cut it out.
Then the roommate mentions, "Oh yeah, you should ask him about his FOOT PORN on his computer!" and then a brief ::giggle, giggle:: by all the girls at the table.
Once again, awkward silence and that flushed, punched in the gut feeling that visited me the month before.
I excuse myself to my room, to be alone with my computer, and "foot porn" in my room, as to not blow a fucking gasket.
I was pissed. Incredibly pissed. It's like, I felt that my privacy, and my sexual identity were completely violated in a manner only matched by the feeling of getting a colon exam from Warren Sapp.
I come here to ask whether or not I was right to feel violated in both instances? If I choose to keep my sex life private by not talking about it to others, including my gentlemen friends, I should expect that the girl I'm seeing respect me in the same manner, right?
I know that women love to talk about sex with each other, to their mothers, etc. But damn, after the year-and-a-half that has passed since both incidents, and the year since I've stopped talking to the girl because of a bad break-up, this is one thing that still bothers me.
I guess I'm looking for somebody here to tell me that my anger was righteous.
Posts: 26 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
You are very justified in your anger. Your lady should have known how you felt about keeping this private. I know I don't ever reveal any fetish a man has talked to me about. It is not my place to tell anyone.
It seems to me though that everyone else in this story is way more comfy discussing your fetish than you are. By them being able to easily joke around about it makes it look like they have no problem with it. It is not a big issue to them. It is only you that feels embaressed about it and that is a shame. You won't see any boob or ass or leg man being embaressed when folks find out what their preferences are. Many are proud of it .. and you should be too. But this being said .. it is still your choice if you want to reveal this .. not hers.
-------------------- we can hit the floor and go and explore those popsicletoes Posts: 375 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Though you are justified in your anger, these occassions were critical junctions in how you and others react to the knowledge of your fetish. Your reaction is critical at this point. Relating it, as popsi did to boob, ass, leg men and the fact that they would not be embarassed, you reacted negatively to it, as if it were a perversion. Had you nonchalantly joked about it, and even discussed it, you could have made it seem quite normal, educated some folks about it, and potentially even interested some gals in persuing it themselves at some point (assuming they are at all open-minded). The discussion could have gotten very hot and heavy, even ugly, but as long as you stand your ground it would show your interest in a positive light.
Not trying to be critical of you, just your response. Those were very challenging and stressful events, especially because you were ambushed by them. I'd be just as stressed as you were of that happened to me. But I think, especially after all the help, assistance, experience and building -up I've received from the forum members here- that I'd be able to stand my ground.
Use this as a learning experience and move. Now that many are aware of your fetish, show some confidence and maybe even a little bravado next time the subject comes up to let them know you're not ashamed of loving feet. We're with ya man!
Posts: 9728 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Yeah, that really is a very tough position to be in when you feel that something intimate (i.e. your foot fetish) is brought up in a public forum and becomes a topic of conversation. I don't blame you for being uncomfortable, feeling awkward, etc.. You also had a right to feel angry and violated because I'm sure that's something you just don't tell everyone in your life about.
Both popsi and feetluvr are right though. Even though you may feel awkward and want to cringe (maybe even feel like crawling under a rock) in moments like that, it's probably better to let it roll off of you as much as possible.... Like the old antipersperant commercial from years gone by used to say, "Never let them see you sweat." Granted, it takes a lot of will and control to not let your raw feelings take hold and to not feel awkward and uncomfortable (I think that more than just a few of us have been there on one occasion or other.), it's probably better in the long run to not blink or cringe in the heat of the moment and address the issue head-on, if need be, and treat it like it's not a big deal. Granted, this is easier said than done. First of all, you yourself have to be comfortable with who you are and what your likes and dislikes are. Just keep in mind this little fact, "You like women's feet. So what!?" When you really sit down and think about it, this is really not a big thing, considering what other fetishes are out there. There are some who will accept it. There are some who won't. There are even some (women) who may say they're opposed, disgusted, etc. by it and say that in public just to save face and "conform to the norm" so to speak, but are still curious about it and, deep down, would like to experience it and see what it's all about (This last group of women may surprise you as to the quantity that are out there.). Through my experience, what women say and what they actually mean are two completely difference things. Yes, your girlfriend, her mom, her friends, etc., tested you. There's no doubt about it. I would say just learn from the experience and try to maintain some composure the next time it may come up. Odds are that as much as you try to keep it a secret, it still could potentially get out even among only a few people. Women like to talk and, especially if they don't feel it's a big deal or don't think it's something too imtimate in their eyes or they are just plain more outgoing than some other women, it's possible that a few people will find out. It's only the law of averages. You can then do one of two things. You can either continue to feel awkward when and if the subject ever comes up again, feel like potentially blowing a gasket and ruining the relationship you may have with a woman you've shared your fetish with and feel miserable about yourself. Or, you can let it roll off as best you can and be cool, calm and collected about it (Which, trust me, is a hell of a lot more impressive, especially when it comes to dealing with women and this subject.). Not looking or feeling awkward about your fetish, especially when it comes to women, is definitely something that will work in your favor because it evokes confidence and tells them, on a non-verbal level, that you're comfortable with who you are as a person, even though your interests may be different compared to most guys. I'll even go so far to say that there are some women who may even find that attractive because it's not a typical thing that most guys like!
Case and point involving my own personal experience.... There is a woman who I had a number of foot experiences with and she eventually told another good friend of mine (another woman) about my foot fetish. Yeah, I felt that this woman had no right telling my other friend about it but I played it cool when my good friend brought it up to me. I didn't get all ticked off at the other woman for violating confidence, etc.. Instead, I just openly admitted to this friend of mine about my foot fetish and treated it as no big deal. Although this good friend had suspected that I had a foot fetish before that, it got the subject out in the open and it also got a dialogue going between us about my foot fetish, what I like, what I do with women's feet, etc., etc.. Lo and behold, my good friend thought it was kind of gross but her curiousity was piqued about it. I had only given her one foot massage prior to being outed about my fetish so I then offered my good friend another foot massage the next time I saw her. Sure enough, when we got together the next time, I began with a foot massage and then eventually it escalated to some toe sucking and my good friend loved it! Since that time, we've had a few more great experiences involving her feet, including her giving me footjobs. The lesson here is that out of a potentially bad situation, there's still the opportunity to make the most of it and it could lead to really good things later on.
What you felt when being outed about your fetish is completely normal. I think a lot of people here can relate to your situation, including myself, since we've all been there in some way at some point. However, it's much better to not feel so uptight about it and keep in mind there's plenty of other people out there who have the same "weird interest" in women's feet that you do! You're not alone! That one fact should be enough for you to get comfortable with who you are and give you some confidence and make you better prepared if a situation like that ever comes up again.
posted
It depends fully on your stance on personal life. If you like to keep it private, then no that is not overreacting. I am different though, I don't really care who knows.
Posts: 425 | Registered: Jun 2004
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posted
I'd be pissed as hell if I were you...I would NEVER EVEN THINK of doing that to my guy...I would have slapped the taste out of her mouth the second time. But that's in the perspective of me hitting her, not you. Double standard? Uhh, yeah...you guys are stronger than you think. Anyway, she sucks, you rule! end of story.
posted
hey craig boy good way to cover yourself lol.
now onto you faintheart.
i've had the issue before with my ex g/f. you see she had 4 other roomates who were all girls. so she used to let it all out to them. what she did was though in her way shouldnt have been embaressing to me. she would tell them how i gave her foot massages and that i worhsipped her feet so good it felt so good. while no one really made fun of me for it i was still mad. although her roomates were kinda jealous actually and said i bet it feels good i wish i had a man like that,but i was still upset. the reason is cause just like you and many other footmen i dont like my business shared unless im the one telling it. while some may say i should be happy her friends like hearing it and wished they had someone liek to me to pamper there feet i still didnt want my foot fetish out to the rest of the public. i only shared it with certain people just as we all do. we trust people to share these things with and not to go tell but to hope that they understand and would like to try it with us and hopefully they enjoy it. we want to share it with them not with everyone else. i dont blame you for being upset. hopefully she can understand that and you guys can enjoy your footfetish and have some serious fun with it.
posted
also you should try asking her how would she feel if you told your friends and family the things she did to you? not to start a fight between you guys, but just to explain to her how you only feel comfortable sharing it with her.
Did you inform her beforehand that you preferred she not reveal your fetish to anyone? If so, then you had a right to be angry. If not, then maybe she didn’t know or think it was a big deal to you.
From the way you describe those situations, it sounds like you are somewhat embarrassed about liking feet. I don't think you should be but I respect your right to keep your love for feet private. But IMHO, I think more guys should be open about it. The more people come in contact with foot people, the better. As it stands now, a lot of folks have no personal contact with foot people (or so they think). So, they are left to form their impressions of us from what they see on TV.
posted
Girlfriends do have a way of telling each other everything, don't they? I don't think I'd be upself SO LONG AS the girlfriend she revealed it to was accepting of it--and of course, she was willing to show me her feet!
-------------------- "You have very nice feet!" Posts: 3712 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
Wu deffinitely said it best so far. What's there to be afraid of? Are you embarassed to admit you love woman? Or have sex with a woman? What's so embarassing about having your foot fetish? That'd be about the same as being embarassed about your favorite color...
As well, just like wu said. Did she know already that you didnt like anybody knowing, or did she just say it and you got pissed and never said anything? Most situations like such are avoided by makin sure those things are hashed out before they are real life situations.
Just my opinion. But I've been in that situation before, and for the most part when asked and given a wierd tone about the FOOT JOB or any foot fetish aspect, i usually turn the whole thing around and make them understand it for the positive thing it really is. If you think it's a bad thing, then of course you'll get pissed and they'll not get it. If you're confident in yourself and what you like, dont be embarassed. And most situations like this for me either ended up in my getting hands on more feet, or atleast turning peoples heads in the right direction regarding foot fetishists.
Weee. -Boot
-------------------- I've got a fetish for sexy female feet. Everybody knows. I love it. Posts: 675 | Registered: Oct 2003
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quote:Originally posted by popsicletoes: It seems to me though that everyone else in this story is way more comfy discussing your fetish than you are. By them being able to easily joke around about it makes it look like they have no problem with it. It is not a big issue to them. It is only you that feels embaressed about it and that is a shame. You won't see any boob or ass or leg man being embaressed when folks find out what their preferences are. Many are proud of it .. and you should be too.
I'm not comfortable discussing my fetish with people who are not a part of my sex life. I don't mind talking about sex, as that is the "norm." But when you involve feet, it kinda changes the conversation.
I am not embarrassed by having a foot fetish. It's a part of my sexuality that I was born with, like people who are born gay (for example) can't change it. I can't change it and I don't want to change it! If I am embarrassed about anything, it's when people get into my personal business about something that is considered taboo.
The reason you don't seen boob-, ass-, leg-men being embarrassed is that those things are also a part of the "norm." The taboo that I see in feet is that it's not something that a lot of people openly oggle. The way our "kink" is portrayed in the media makes us look like perverts and that our fetish is a perversion.
It's like the same reaction that I had when I saw the armpit thread the other day... I was like, WTF?
It's a stigma that I really feel is a huge problem in our society. We worship beauty, but yet, for whatever reason, I really feel that I can't be open about liking the beautiful feet of women because I feel like people will consider me as having a perversion. Something is very wrong with this.
I'd like for someone to come back with a better answer than the cliché, "Who gives a fuck what people think!?"
I appreciate the responses I've gotten, I really do.
Posts: 26 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Julia exposed: I'd be pissed as hell if I were you...I would NEVER EVEN THINK of doing that to my guy...I would have slapped the taste out of her mouth the second time. But that's in the perspective of me hitting her, not you. Double standard? Uhh, yeah...you guys are stronger than you think. Anyway, she sucks, you rule! end of story.
Julia -
I appreciate the sentiment and would love to have you come by where I live to be my personal ass-kicker for the aforementioned ex. However, I'd most likely jump on you and you wouldn't get any work done.
Anyways, I'm not a violent person. I hate seeing violence, much less being any kind of participant in violent acts. If I am flawed, it's that I have a little bit of an anger problem, which I try to deal with by removing myself from situations (such as both instances in the story I originally posted).
Lord knows that I have passed several, "I-wanna-kick-your-ass" tests given to me by women. My threshold is pretty good.
Posts: 26 | Registered: Feb 2006
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