Any advice on how to approach a young lady on the street and get exchange info to arrange a feet photoshoot?
Posted by solefull00 (Member # 44401) on :
I've been spending time at my local starbucks and there are an abundance of prospects
Posted by TruthBeTold (Member # 47114) on :
Niiiice! Just be confident and don't let their feet make you nervous. Good social skills are a must when it comes to landing female strangers. One of the greatest guys to pickup the feet of hot strangers is CBF. Download some of his videos from his website and listen to the techniques he uses on the fly. It is golden!
Posted by blackmagict34 (Member # 41319) on :
1. Be honest 2. Using a cell phone looks a little creepy..if u have a real camera use it, and look like you do more than just walk the streets for feet( even though ita exactly what we are doing lol) 3. location- park or boardwalk is usually good because people go there for leisure time..@ the mall or starbucks typically girls are there for a purpose and/or have limited time 4. usually i have a few examples from previous encounters..gives them a little reassurance and makes it alot less creepy
Posted by solefull00 (Member # 44401) on :
I do have a DSLR but I would not bring it to Starbucks with me lol. I was thinking of meeting them, giving them my business card and getting touch with them at some other point for a shoot. If they are wearing shoes, how can I get them to take off their shoes to show me their feet? also, how do I propose the photoshoot to them? Just trying to put it creatively. I can pick up girls no problem, it's just trying to pick them up specifically for photoshoots
Posted by goodguyneighbor (Member # 2824) on :
If you're trying to schedule appointments for later, then it's no different than making a date.
You'll have to give them a reason to want to see you again. Typically things like business cards and money are not enough.
You're going to need to demonstrate value in the form of being socially engaging in order to really capture their imagination.
The best things to say would be those that are genuinely interesting, serve as a vehicle to display your personality, and as a springboard into other topics.
You already know that confidence, body language, and especially tone of voice are critical factors to keep in mind. You must also approach within 3 seconds of her noticing your presence.
Update us with some photos if you have any success.
Below are some example videos and starbucks photos in the second thread.
quote:Originally posted by goodguyneighbor: If you're trying to schedule appointments for later, then it's no different than making a date.
You'll have to give them a reason to want to see you again. Typically things like business cards and money are not enough.
You're going to need to demonstrate value in the form of being socially engaging in order to really capture their imagination.
The best things to say would be those that are genuinely interesting, serve as a vehicle to display your personality, and as a springboard into other topics.
You already know that confidence, body language, and especially tone of voice are critical factors to keep in mind. You must also approach within 3 seconds of her noticing your presence.
Update us with some photos if you have any success.
Below are some example videos and starbucks photos in the second thread.
This...
Posted by solefull00 (Member # 44401) on :
quote:Originally posted by goodguyneighbor: If you're trying to schedule appointments for later, then it's no different than making a date.
You'll have to give them a reason to want to see you again. Typically things like business cards and money are not enough.
You're going to need to demonstrate value in the form of being socially engaging in order to really capture their imagination.
The best things to say would be those that are genuinely interesting, serve as a vehicle to display your personality, and as a springboard into other topics.
You already know that confidence, body language, and especially tone of voice are critical factors to keep in mind. You must also approach within 3 seconds of her noticing your presence.
Update us with some photos if you have any success.
Below are some example videos and starbucks photos in the second thread.
thank you for those nuggets. I will report back soon
Posted by BareSoles84 (Member # 45910) on :
GGN's post couldn't have been any more accurate in my opinion.
Even though I'm not a photographer, I don't believe approaching a random girl for pictures of her feet would be any different than approaching her in general and trying to come away with her number. There's no separate special formula for either, no magical words or phrases that need to be said or spoken that are fail proof in every situation.
What I've found out in my experience through observation and trial and error, is that the most important things to be cognizant of are your body language, and that your words are more just a way to display your personality. More often than not, females aren't really focused on the details of what you're saying. They tend to be more focused on the tone of your voice and how you look while saying what you're saying. A fun, energetic voice (without being overly animated or over zealous) giving her the option to sit down to model her feet for fun I imagine will probably have more success than the voice asking for her permission (which gives her the option of verbally telling you "No, thanks." as you wait for her answer) or offering her money.
Lead the interaction and give the perception that no matter the result or the outcome, you're going to be fine with that. To paraphrase National because it couldn't be more true, when approaching someone, the only thing that is certain, is the uncertainty.
Posted by TruthBeTold (Member # 47114) on :
quote:Originally posted by BareSoles84: GGN's post couldn't have been any more accurate in my opinion.
This feet magician definitely nailed it, as usual! Posted by NorcalfeetStudios (Member # 732) on :
quote: it couldn't be more true, when approaching someone, the only thing that is certain, is the uncertainty.
That's a fair assessment. Posted by Rocky TSM (Member # 28971) on :
Still waiting to hear how things went. Have you done your cold approach yet? We're all rooting for you.
Posted by goodguyneighbor (Member # 2824) on :
It's often heard that people will say, "just be yourself", when it comes to meeting women.
As if one should just continue doing what they've always done, and things will somehow work out, despite probably not having worked out optimally in the past.
That may work in some instances, but chances are that is not ones true self.
A person's best authentic self is one that is uninhibited by layers of conditioned patterns and insecurities, fully present in the moment.
quote:Originally posted by goodguyneighbor: A person's best authentic self is one that is uninhibited by layers of conditioned patterns and insecurities
Couldn't have said it better myself! This is golden! Posted by BareSoles84 (Member # 45910) on :
It's true. Common advice that one hears often when it comes to meeting women, or just meeting new people in general for that matter, is to "Just be yourself, and if they don't like you, then it's their loss."
I can understand the point one is trying to make with the part of it being someone else's loss if they reject you, but I do think it's also a little too aggressive and expresses acrimony. Everyone desires approval from others in some capacity, and if "being yourself" has done nothing but presented you with an undesired outcome time and time again, it should be evident that a change has to be made somewhere.
Usually it's nothing too drastic in the sense that you need to change your beliefs, fundamentals, the foundation of you are, etc. Simply improving little things such as your gait, speech and posture, will go a long way in themselves in how others perceive you before even actually engaging you in conversation.
As was mentioned, a person's best self is one that is uninhibited by condtioned patters and insecurities. Although often times in order to overcome these insecurities, we have to first admit that we are indeed insecure to begin with, which a lot of people find difficult to do.
As also previously stated, don't just be yourself; be your best self. Don't necessarily have the bitter mentality that it's someone else's loss if they don't accept you; simply be indifferent about it. If you are simply unfazed by other people's reactions, ideas, trivialities, etc., you are much more attractive than the person who puts too much emphasis on and gets too attached to what the uncertain outcome of an exchange will be.
Posted by TruthBeTold (Member # 47114) on :
quote:Originally posted by BareSoles84: often times in order to overcome these insecurities, we have to first admit that we are indeed insecure to begin with, which a lot of people find difficult to do.
This resonates so true as I see some fetishists exhibiting these patterns quite often in their failed pursuits of hot women's feet and they are never able to admit it.
[ July 11, 2015, 06:29 PM: Message edited by: TruthBeTold ]
Posted by NorcalfeetStudios (Member # 732) on :
quote:Originally posted by Rocky TSM: Still waiting to hear how things went. Have you done your cold approach yet? We're all rooting for you.
Yes let's hear the intricate details. Posted by solefull00 (Member # 44401) on :
I approached a woman today, she looked to be of Asian origin and told her she had beautiful feet. She did not understand what I said and I tried to talk to her more but she said "no thank you" and continued walking. My main objective (at least immediately) is to get used to approaching women. I know some successes will follow. I just have to work through it. Thank you for the great advice.
Posted by goodguyneighbor (Member # 2824) on :
quote:Originally posted by solefull00: I can pick up girls no problem, it's just trying to pick them up specifically for photoshoots
How do you normally 'pickup' without approaching?
Sounds like you tried to skip the basics and rushed straight for her feet. It's usually best to open and start a conversation first.
I wouldn't recommend walking straight at someone, or trying to stop them, rather, make your approach while walking the same direction, pass, then look back over your shoulder and open. (basic principles of a good opener discussed on page 1)
Your body language should convey that you're going somewhere and just pausing for a minute to say something.
The idea is not to try to attach yourself, but to be interesting enough that they don't want you to leave, then things naturally turn into a conversation.
It's probably going to take a fair amount of practice to get good, and involve being rejected regularly. No one is ever 100%, but in time your odds will increase as you develop a good intuition.
quote:Originally posted by goodguyneighbor: Your body language should convey that you're going somewhere and just pausing for a minute to say something.
The idea is not to try to attach yourself, but to be interesting enough that they don't want you to leave, then things naturally turn into a conversation.
These are absolutely golden nuggets of wisdom that every man should learn! I think it'd be awesome if you could do some sort of youtube v-blog mini series with little lessons that can be conveyed to those men out there who are trying to improve their social skills with women. It'd definitely be helpful in the foot world, that's fer sure!!
The best results always come from those who understand women the most!! Posted by goodguyneighbor (Member # 2824) on :
Well, there's always more to learn, and there will always be some mystery involved. It's more like human nature than just female nature.
Think about when you see a solicitor or panhandler. People dodge them because people already know that they want want something from them.
Beautiful women are especially good at spotting needy guys, because they are hit on constantly, and badly, everywhere they go.
The idea is to not project too much obvious interest upfront, so as to not trigger defensive auto responses.
In also the analogy with panhandlers and solicitors, might I also add the manner in which they approach you also triggers an innate human response.
They're typically static and they attempt and cut you off head on to stop you, or by trying to talk to you while they're static and you're moving. If you're already in motion, it's unlikely that you want to stop and talk to them; especially if you already know they just want something from you as mentioned. Objects in motion tend to stay in motion.
Cutting someone's path off head on and stopping them triggers a natural human response and immediately makes someone feel as if they're on the defensive, being that you're right in their face and making that person feel as if you're preventing them from continuing on the trajectory they were before you cut them off.
[ July 29, 2015, 03:55 AM: Message edited by: BareSoles84 ]
Posted by goodguyneighbor (Member # 2824) on :
Another common thing is guys thinking they should wait till the girl is alone to approach, but it's actually easier to approach groups.
It's also almost always best to approach right away as soon as they become aware of your presence. The longer you wait, the more chance you'll overthink the situation, and the more it seems like stalking.
The idea is to be social and spontaneous without needing anything from them or placing any value on the outcome.
Posted by BareSoles84 (Member # 45910) on :
Good advice GGN.
Posted by ARCHMASTER (Member # 46672) on :
web page Posted by Rocky TSM (Member # 28971) on :
How is this related to the topic? It was an okay read if you want to laugh at the immaturity of a supposedly open-minded woman.
On topic, I've done quite a few cold approaches. In my opinion, the hardest part of the whole thing is how to catch the womans attention off the start without seeming creepy or too weird. If you can break the ice, it's smooth sailing from there usually as long as you keep them interested.
Posted by NorcalfeetStudios (Member # 732) on :
This reminds me of humans and fire. It's like a group of people standing around the man behind the curtain explaining how to rub two sticks together to make smoke and a spark, when we have butane torches, lighters, flame throwers etc.. available now lol. Think about that in terms of the topic, there's no art or technique that works everytime since every female is different and so is every situation.
At the end of the day, all it takes is "Business Casual Confidence" (which any of the Current Webmasters here possess) and a Smile to get their attention to make the first impression and from there they will be eating out of your hand like a little birdy.
[ August 04, 2015, 07:18 PM: Message edited by: NorcalfeetStudios ]
Posted by goodguyneighbor (Member # 2824) on :
Yeah it really isn't rocket science, but there's a definite art to it, and still a huge percentage of guys who struggle with something as simple as talking to strangers, women in particular.
Indeed the first split second of an interaction is a critical defining moment. You only get one chance to make a first impression as they say. Once you've blown it, it can be difficult to recover.
By the same token, when things go right, it's like magic how quickly things can progress. I'm often amazed when a hot girl I met 30 seconds ago is now following me to go sit down and show me her feet.
You only get one chance to make a first impression indeed. After blowing it, it can be difficult to recover from. First impressions tend to get ingrained in people's minds.
Perception is everything when it comes to making impressions and I think the most important, easiest thing that a lot of people, guys in particular, forget and don't realize is that the one who controls how you want other people to see you, is yourself. You can't expect a stranger to see you in a particular way that you want them to see you as when you're not conveying that or giving them that perception at all in any way.
Posted by TruthBeTold (Member # 47114) on :
quote:Originally posted by goodguyneighbor: it's like magic how quickly things can progress. I'm often amazed when a hot girl I met 30 seconds ago is now following me to go sit down and show me her feet.
so freakin true and it's amazing every single time. Many guys out there can only dream of being so lucky. Truth is, it's more knowledge and technique than luck. That's the part that confuses these laymen Posted by goodguyneighbor (Member # 2824) on :
Very true, many people overlook the extent to which they have over the image they project to others.
Granted there's no way to control what others think of you, nor should it steer the direction of your opinions, but we get to choose the archetypes we embrace.
Humans are very tribal. We like to associate with others of the same tribe, tribes we would like to belong to, or tribes we would like to at least visit.
cbf Posted by NorcalfeetStudios (Member # 732) on :
quote: I'm often amazed when a hot girl I met 30 seconds ago is now following me to go sit down and show me her feet.
It's probably more amazing to some because we tend to put women too high up on a pedestal if they look good or have nice feet and don't think of them or treat our interactions with them as simple normal day to day human interactions. Whether it's talking about feet or even the weather, it shouldn't matter. Rather some type of magical hunting trip where our adrenaline is pumping and we have unreal expectations of the outcome, there's always room for error.
Posted by BlackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by goodguyneighbor: Yeah it really isn't rocket science, but there's a definite art to it, and still a huge percentage of guys who struggle with something as simple as talking to strangers, women in particular. cbf
well, in that case, it isn't really rocket science. there's a fine line between having people praise you on this site for posting pics of some girl you meet and ending up on the news as that foot fetish creep so y'all can mock him for not being some smooth womanizer. trust me, kid, it's not worth the stress. better off checking out backpage and dropping some coin instead of dropping self-esteem failing with women.
Posted by TruthBeTold (Member # 47114) on :
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: there's a fine line between having people praise you on this site for posting pics of some girl you meet and ending up on the news as that foot fetish creep
...and therein lies the difference between a skillful magician (who has countless examples of his work publicly posted for all to see) versus creepy curmudgeons who have nothing better to do than to criticize, while offering no tangible examples of their own success in the field.
be careful fellas, it's a curmudgeon eat curmudgeon world out there.
Posted by BlackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by TruthBeTold:
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: there's a fine line between having people praise you on this site for posting pics of some girl you meet and ending up on the news as that foot fetish creep
...and therein lies the difference between a skillful magician (who has countless examples of his work publicly posted for all to see) versus creepy curmudgeons who have nothing better to do than to criticize, while offering no tangible examples of their own success in the field.
be careful fellas, it's a curmudgeon eat curmudgeon world out there.
so...i'm creepy because i'm bribing crackwhores like you have done with feet grosser then an 80 y/o indian yogi with crack rocks to pose their feet? or almost gotten arrested cause your idea of "good material" are skid row skanks looking for one last fix before kicking the bucket and rotting in some alley or open field in whatever hick dump town you're from/
good one, bro! just cause you took it off the site doesn't mean i nor anyone else has forgot!
Posted by TruthBeTold (Member # 47114) on :
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: so...i'm creepy because
I'm not sure what made you qualify yourself as a creep based on the criteria from my comment, but I was not referring to you. Perhaps there's insider knowledge you have about yourself that the rest of us are unaware of?
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: i'm bribing crackwhores...
Good for you and to each their own. I, personally, prefer classy women who are willing of their own accord, but that's just my tastes. Hockockockockockockock!
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: just cause you took it off the site doesn't mean i nor anyone else has forgot!
While I'm a fan of speculation, I don't have any idear what you're talking about. Keep the dream alive fellas!! Posted by National (Member # 8568) on :
I know that a lot of guys out there have a big, big problem with just getting over their fears of approaching strange and beautiful women, getting them to remove their shoes so that you can take pictures of their feet at a moment's notice.
The best way that I can describe this feeling is that there's a friction as two different sides of you want different results. On the one hand, you see a hot, sexy girl and you go, "WOW, I really want her ... I would love to be so close to her feet, my GOD that would be a dream come true ...” Part of that is your evolutionary programming telling you to be close to women who make you very excited and that's why your attraction circuit fires up and things of that nature. But the other part of it is the fear that if you approach her from out of nowhere and try to get feet pictures from her, then something bad is going to happen. So the friction comes between the desire and the fear - on the one hand, you really want that girl, you want to approach her in hopes that she will magically remove her shoes for you in a matter of seconds, letting you take pics of her feet. On the other hand, you're really, really scared of embarrassment, of rejection, of bad emotions.
You see, that is the major problem when it comes to the evolutionary approach to curtailing your nervousness of approaching totally random women: is that the fear is not real. In most situations, you're not going to get into a fight unless you start something, when you're out there trying to get feet pictures out of women in public. The fear is actually of the bad emotions and of the social repercussions. Basically, feeling nervous about approaching these women comes down to the fear of being a loser. You don't want to be the guy who gets rejected, gets laughed at, you don't want to be the guy that people are thinking, "You see that guy over there? What a weirdo, trying to get feet pictures from women ... he's a creep and now it's been proven 100 percent." So it becomes this thought loop because your thoughts tend to form loops, meaning that they go over and over again. Once you get into a downward cycle of letting those nervous feelings take over your emotions, it becomes really, really difficult to get out of it.
This is the fear of rejection, the fear of the social ramifications as well as the friction of the desire of wanting these women and their feet at your disposal.
--
WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM? There are schools of thought out there that believe it's 100 percent evolutionary, that every guy becomes extremely nervous when it comes to approaching new women, whether he has a foot fetish or not. I don't believe that to be completely true because there are men out there who don't feel that way. There are cultures in where men are not quite that way, such as Italian men and guys from Brasil. They seem to be much less nervous when it comes to approaching women just for the sake of starting a normal conversation when you compare them to guys from the United States, Australia, even Canada.
One of the things we're taught as little kids is that we should't talk to strangers. While that's pretty good advice for someone who's eight years old, for an eighteen year old it's not the best advice, especially since most of us are not living in a super scary, talk-to-strangers-and-get-kidnapped-or-killed environment. That idea came to us from our parents when they were ensuring that our safety was at the top of their priority list. Cultures where it's not as normal to talk to strangers, where it's not as easy to strike up conversations and be more social tend to be more nervous about meeting strangers.
The other thing is that there is a small amount of evolution to the idea of approaching someone new because we have been evolved in a way that sticking to the norm of social behavior is a better overall survival strategy. In other words, the more we stand out in anything, whether it's getting feet pictures from women, making a lot of money, being a professional athlete or anything like that, the more of a target you make yourself. So evolutionarily speaking, we are evolved to have behaviors not to avoid approaching, but to avoid standing out and causing a social raucous.
--
WHY DO WE FEEL NERVOUS ABOUT DOING THIS? The answer is that feeling this nervous "protects" us. Our brains don't want to give us bad emotions. This is why we have all sorts of social behaviors from the overly polite cultures of Japanese people to the ideas of social norms. All these things exist because we're trying to protect ourselves from bad emotions. Humans in general feel very badly about going up to someone they find attractive for the first time, which explains why there's the entire self-help industry predicated on the ideas that you can avoid bad emotions forever. Now I'd love to be able to tell you that you can ... but you really can't. You're going to have some bad emotions, especially when it comes to getting good at doing this, which can be a very intimidating thing to master for someone who's never done this before because you're trying to go up to complete strangers out in the park and convince them to remove their shoes and socks for you for foot fetish pictures in a very rapid fashion. I mean, it's definitely possible because I've done it enough times to count with one hand and with a calculator on the other. However, you need to understand that as a beginner this can be very difficult for you and that there will be some bad emotions along the way. If you're trying to protect yourself from bad emotions, you're never going to get good at this game.
So right now you have to accept that in your journey, there's going to be a trade-off, and the trade-off is going to look something like this: some days you're going to go out and have 8-10 bad approaches and you're going to feel like a loser. In fact, you're going to feel as if you've lost all ability to talk to women in exchange for a few of those days, and a couple of months upfront of being socially miscalibrated, you will eventually be able to have the skill set to go up to just about any woman you want and get her to pose her feet for you. So, yes, there is a trade-off and there will be bad emotions along the way. It will be difficult and you will start to lose confidence in yourself. These things are perfectly normal when it comes to doing this ... but a lot of guys don't want to hear that.
This explains the "why" of why we feel nervous about starting a conversation with a new person and you have to be willing to expose yourself to bad emotions in order to fix your nervous traits. You'll have to go through those emotions in a trade-off that eventually you'll be able to have the set of skills that will give you the results you really want.
--
HOW DOES THIS MANIFEST ITSELF? Generally, a couple of different things. I think feeling nervous about doing this is different from just being lazy. Some of us are just too lazy to approach. This is something that happens to me from time to time where I say to myself after an excruciating day at work, and I'm nowhere near the park, [sighs] "Man, do I really have to go there now?"
So when I talk about feeling nervous about approaching a stranger, I'm saying that this manifests itself physically in your stomach, you may get sweaty palms, your heart may beat faster, you may start to sweat in extreme cases, you might find yourself frozen and unable to move, you may find that your throat is clogging up. Even if you can eek out a few words, they come out much softer than you normally intended them to. All of those things explains how those uncomfortable feelings kind of manifests itself, in addition to having a lack of motivation for you to approach, making up excuses for yourself, coming up with reasons as to why this isn't going to work. All of that comes from feeling so nervous when it comes to the approach.
--
WHEN DOES THIS HAPPEN? You start to get nervous when you're thinking about approaching, when you think it's a good idea to approach. Generally, it doesn't happen while you're sitting on your couch, although in extreme cases, it may start just as you're about to leave your home before you decide to go out and practice your game. This is not something that you're going to be able to avoid, but you have to be able to recognize the situation in order to get better at it.
--
Before I wrap up, I want to talk about a couple of things that some foot troopers might do out there that'll make them even MORE nervous.
One of these things is hovering. If you're going to approach, you have to go in hard. This is a real big rule when it comes to going out and approaching girls is that you have to commit to the approach. Once you've done it, commit to it. Don't just hover around the girl and wait for the perfect opening. The perfect opening is something that you should not wait for. You're going to have to approach her, you're going to have to do it. Sometimes, your approach is going to be clunky, sometimes it's going to go great when you're not expecting it. Just know that you're never going to get that perfect opportunity where the girl is going to remove her shoes to massage her own feet, giving you Gateway-to-Heaven opportunity where you can just walk right up to her and offer to do the massaging for her.
Don't hover, don't wait for something to happen. You must be able to get into the habit of being someone who makes things happen as opposed to someone who waits for things to happen.
And the other thing I want to talk about is the idea of over-thinking. Over-thinking is something that can plague you. It comes from the fact that you're a reasonably intelligent guy, and you want to be good at everything you do because you think you're smart enough to figure everything out. Because you read all this stuff about the best ways to approach women for feet pictures, guys start to over-think things such as,
- Should I go direct or indirect? - Do I use a situational opener, or what? - Should I say, “Hey miss. ” Or “Excuse me.” - What if this happens? - What if that happens? - Let's say that doesn't work, what do I do next? - What if she ...?
... Forget that stuff because it doesn't make that much of a different in the grand scheme of things. In fact, if someone were to say, "Okay, National, I want want you to give this guy some tips when it comes to getting feet pictures. However, you can either give him no advice whatsoever and have him approach women for three hours a day, or you can give him all the advice in the world but he can only approach girls for an hour a day." I'll take the three-hour option. Going out and doing things badly is one of my rules for making you feel less nervous about approaching strangers out there. It's okay to do it badly. Sometimes when I'm out in the park and I see someone who I think makes for an interesting subject, I will strike up a conversation with her. If she stops, I'll keep talking to her. If she ignores me, then I'll just brush that off as a warm-up.
Doing it better is more important than not doing it at all. A lot of this is about establishing the correct habits for you. Talking to beautiful women and trying to get feet pictures out of them on a consistent basis is a very useful habit, even if you're doing it badly. So don't try to over-think things and trying to come up with the perfect pick-up. There's this FALLACY out there that there's the perfect pick-up line when it comes to doing this where you can just zoom right in, everything goes 100 percent right, you'll never have any problems, and you'll land the girl every time. It does NOT work like that. This is a numbers game, meaning that the more women you approach, the better you're going to get at this ... both because you're improving your game as you go along, and because you are exposing yourself to more women who might like you.
-National
Posted by BlackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by TruthBeTold:
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: so...i'm creepy because
I'm not sure what made you qualify yourself as a creep based on the criteria from my comment, but I was not referring to you. Perhaps there's insider knowledge you have about yourself that the rest of us are unaware of?
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: i'm bribing crackwhores...
Good for you and to each their own. I, personally, prefer classy women who are willing of their own accord, but that's just my tastes. Hockockockockockockock!
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: just cause you took it off the site doesn't mean i nor anyone else has forgot!
While I'm a fan of speculation, I don't have any idear what you're talking about. Keep the dream alive fellas!!
sure, whatever fred. if you call what you've been posting all these years "classy" then me and GQGuy are the same fucking person.
Posted by TruthBeTold (Member # 47114) on :
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: then me and GQGuy are the same fucking person.
sorry my friend, but you're a long way off Posted by Patrick (Member # 1169) on :
Back on topic fellas. Keep this stuff off the board.
Patrick
Posted by BlackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by TruthBeTold:
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: then me and GQGuy are the same fucking person.
sorry my friend, but you're a long way off
you have to be a fucking moron. no new content in years from you. what happened? ended up on sex offender status after one of your crackwhore models who you made cry on film reported you to the cops?
Posted by BlackHxC88 (Member # 15094) on :
quote:Originally posted by Patrick: Back on topic fellas. Keep this stuff off the board.
Patrick
no problem.
Posted by TruthBeTold (Member # 47114) on :
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88: you have to be a fucking moron. no new content in years from you. what happened? ended up on sex offender status after one of your crackwhore models who you made cry on film reported you to the cops?
I'm assuming we're talking about the same person, ie. me. But sadly, I have no idear what you're talking about. Sounds like somebody is feeding you the wrong information. Wish I could help, honestly, but not sure what source you are referencing (please double check my post history).
quote:Originally posted by BlackHxC88:
quote:Originally posted by Patrick: Back on topic fellas. Keep this stuff off the board.
Patrick
no problem.
Agreed, please get back on topic and quit focusing on me. I'm not the cold approach master.
[ August 06, 2015, 02:13 AM: Message edited by: TruthBeTold ]
Posted by BareSoles84 (Member # 45910) on :
quote:Originally posted by National: I know that a lot of guys out there have a big, big problem with just getting over their fears of approaching strange and beautiful women, getting them to remove their shoes so that you can take pictures of their feet at a moment's notice.
The best way that I can describe this feeling is that there's a friction as two different sides of you want different results. On the one hand, you see a hot, sexy girl and you go, "WOW, I really want her ... I would love to be so close to her feet, my GOD that would be a dream come true ...” Part of that is your evolutionary programming telling you to be close to women who make you very excited and that's why your attraction circuit fires up and things of that nature. But the other part of it is the fear that if you approach her from out of nowhere and try to get feet pictures from her, then something bad is going to happen. So the friction comes between the desire and the fear - on the one hand, you really want that girl, you want to approach her in hopes that she will magically remove her shoes for you in a matter of seconds, letting you take pics of her feet. On the other hand, you're really, really scared of embarrassment, of rejection, of bad emotions.
You see, that is the major problem when it comes to the evolutionary approach to curtailing your nervousness of approaching totally random women: is that the fear is not real. In most situations, you're not going to get into a fight unless you start something, when you're out there trying to get feet pictures out of women in public. The fear is actually of the bad emotions and of the social repercussions. Basically, feeling nervous about approaching these women comes down to the fear of being a loser. You don't want to be the guy who gets rejected, gets laughed at, you don't want to be the guy that people are thinking, "You see that guy over there? What a weirdo, trying to get feet pictures from women ... he's a creep and now it's been proven 100 percent." So it becomes this thought loop because your thoughts tend to form loops, meaning that they go over and over again. Once you get into a downward cycle of letting those nervous feelings take over your emotions, it becomes really, really difficult to get out of it.
This is the fear of rejection, the fear of the social ramifications as well as the friction of the desire of wanting these women and their feet at your disposal.
--
WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM? There are schools of thought out there that believe it's 100 percent evolutionary, that every guy becomes extremely nervous when it comes to approaching new women, whether he has a foot fetish or not. I don't believe that to be completely true because there are men out there who don't feel that way. There are cultures in where men are not quite that way, such as Italian men and guys from Brasil. They seem to be much less nervous when it comes to approaching women just for the sake of starting a normal conversation when you compare them to guys from the United States, Australia, even Canada.
One of the things we're taught as little kids is that we should't talk to strangers. While that's pretty good advice for someone who's eight years old, for an eighteen year old it's not the best advice, especially since most of us are not living in a super scary, talk-to-strangers-and-get-kidnapped-or-killed environment. That idea came to us from our parents when they were ensuring that our safety was at the top of their priority list. Cultures where it's not as normal to talk to strangers, where it's not as easy to strike up conversations and be more social tend to be more nervous about meeting strangers.
The other thing is that there is a small amount of evolution to the idea of approaching someone new because we have been evolved in a way that sticking to the norm of social behavior is a better overall survival strategy. In other words, the more we stand out in anything, whether it's getting feet pictures from women, making a lot of money, being a professional athlete or anything like that, the more of a target you make yourself. So evolutionarily speaking, we are evolved to have behaviors not to avoid approaching, but to avoid standing out and causing a social raucous.
--
WHY DO WE FEEL NERVOUS ABOUT DOING THIS? The answer is that feeling this nervous "protects" us. Our brains don't want to give us bad emotions. This is why we have all sorts of social behaviors from the overly polite cultures of Japanese people to the ideas of social norms. All these things exist because we're trying to protect ourselves from bad emotions. Humans in general feel very badly about going up to someone they find attractive for the first time, which explains why there's the entire self-help industry predicated on the ideas that you can avoid bad emotions forever. Now I'd love to be able to tell you that you can ... but you really can't. You're going to have some bad emotions, especially when it comes to getting good at doing this, which can be a very intimidating thing to master for someone who's never done this before because you're trying to go up to complete strangers out in the park and convince them to remove their shoes and socks for you for foot fetish pictures in a very rapid fashion. I mean, it's definitely possible because I've done it enough times to count with one hand and with a calculator on the other. However, you need to understand that as a beginner this can be very difficult for you and that there will be some bad emotions along the way. If you're trying to protect yourself from bad emotions, you're never going to get good at this game.
So right now you have to accept that in your journey, there's going to be a trade-off, and the trade-off is going to look something like this: some days you're going to go out and have 8-10 bad approaches and you're going to feel like a loser. In fact, you're going to feel as if you've lost all ability to talk to women in exchange for a few of those days, and a couple of months upfront of being socially miscalibrated, you will eventually be able to have the skill set to go up to just about any woman you want and get her to pose her feet for you. So, yes, there is a trade-off and there will be bad emotions along the way. It will be difficult and you will start to lose confidence in yourself. These things are perfectly normal when it comes to doing this ... but a lot of guys don't want to hear that.
This explains the "why" of why we feel nervous about starting a conversation with a new person and you have to be willing to expose yourself to bad emotions in order to fix your nervous traits. You'll have to go through those emotions in a trade-off that eventually you'll be able to have the set of skills that will give you the results you really want.
--
HOW DOES THIS MANIFEST ITSELF? Generally, a couple of different things. I think feeling nervous about doing this is different from just being lazy. Some of us are just too lazy to approach. This is something that happens to me from time to time where I say to myself after an excruciating day at work, and I'm nowhere near the park, [sighs] "Man, do I really have to go there now?"
So when I talk about feeling nervous about approaching a stranger, I'm saying that this manifests itself physically in your stomach, you may get sweaty palms, your heart may beat faster, you may start to sweat in extreme cases, you might find yourself frozen and unable to move, you may find that your throat is clogging up. Even if you can eek out a few words, they come out much softer than you normally intended them to. All of those things explains how those uncomfortable feelings kind of manifests itself, in addition to having a lack of motivation for you to approach, making up excuses for yourself, coming up with reasons as to why this isn't going to work. All of that comes from feeling so nervous when it comes to the approach.
--
WHEN DOES THIS HAPPEN? You start to get nervous when you're thinking about approaching, when you think it's a good idea to approach. Generally, it doesn't happen while you're sitting on your couch, although in extreme cases, it may start just as you're about to leave your home before you decide to go out and practice your game. This is not something that you're going to be able to avoid, but you have to be able to recognize the situation in order to get better at it.
--
Before I wrap up, I want to talk about a couple of things that some foot troopers might do out there that'll make them even MORE nervous.
One of these things is hovering. If you're going to approach, you have to go in hard. This is a real big rule when it comes to going out and approaching girls is that you have to commit to the approach. Once you've done it, commit to it. Don't just hover around the girl and wait for the perfect opening. The perfect opening is something that you should not wait for. You're going to have to approach her, you're going to have to do it. Sometimes, your approach is going to be clunky, sometimes it's going to go great when you're not expecting it. Just know that you're never going to get that perfect opportunity where the girl is going to remove her shoes to massage her own feet, giving you Gateway-to-Heaven opportunity where you can just walk right up to her and offer to do the massaging for her.
Don't hover, don't wait for something to happen. You must be able to get into the habit of being someone who makes things happen as opposed to someone who waits for things to happen.
And the other thing I want to talk about is the idea of over-thinking. Over-thinking is something that can plague you. It comes from the fact that you're a reasonably intelligent guy, and you want to be good at everything you do because you think you're smart enough to figure everything out. Because you read all this stuff about the best ways to approach women for feet pictures, guys start to over-think things such as,
- Should I go direct or indirect? - Do I use a situational opener, or what? - Should I say, “Hey miss. ” Or “Excuse me.” - What if this happens? - What if that happens? - Let's say that doesn't work, what do I do next? - What if she ...?
... Forget that stuff because it doesn't make that much of a different in the grand scheme of things. In fact, if someone were to say, "Okay, National, I want want you to give this guy some tips when it comes to getting feet pictures. However, you can either give him no advice whatsoever and have him approach women for three hours a day, or you can give him all the advice in the world but he can only approach girls for an hour a day." I'll take the three-hour option. Going out and doing things badly is one of my rules for making you feel less nervous about approaching strangers out there. It's okay to do it badly. Sometimes when I'm out in the park and I see someone who I think makes for an interesting subject, I will strike up a conversation with her. If she stops, I'll keep talking to her. If she ignores me, then I'll just brush that off as a warm-up.
Doing it better is more important than not doing it at all. A lot of this is about establishing the correct habits for you. Talking to beautiful women and trying to get feet pictures out of them on a consistent basis is a very useful habit, even if you're doing it badly. So don't try to over-think things and trying to come up with the perfect pick-up. There's this FALLACY out there that there's the perfect pick-up line when it comes to doing this where you can just zoom right in, everything goes 100 percent right, you'll never have any problems, and you'll land the girl every time. It does NOT work like that. This is a numbers game, meaning that the more women you approach, the better you're going to get at this ... both because you're improving your game as you go along, and because you are exposing yourself to more women who might like you.
-National
Great post National! Enjoyed reading that.
Posted by goodguyneighbor (Member # 2824) on :
If a guy is looking to first just get comfortable approaching, he could concentrate on just opening and being interesting, without even necessarily needing to bring up feet with every girl he approaches.
I see the numbers as more of a searching for the girls that you're interested in game; not so much seeing if they like you, qualifying yourself to them, or seeking their approval, but being able to spot women that you're genuinely interested in and have an intuition will be receptive to your advances.
In that sense, it's not so much a numbers game, but a card reading game, although it does take practice to get good at counting cards.
It's more difficult with average types, because it's harder to root the reason why you picked them out of all the other choices.
There are millions of pretty girls out there, in a plain-jane sort of sense. It helps when there's something of genuine interest, more than just her looks, that roots the reason why you're interested.
That way you're not just some random guy that says the same thing to all the girls, and will take anything he can get his hands on. You're a guy with standards who knows what he wants.
She feels valued for who she is, not just her looks, like you've just discovered and validated her true essence.
Posted by FootLongSub Zero (Member # 19380) on :
There are times where I've gotten hits and misses from random strangers and this thread has put things more into perspective.
Nowhere near experienced as most of you, but when I talk to women off the bat, there is a 'flow' where there's a natural back and forth exchange of words and the conversation feels comfortable. In this 'flow' I've gotten to see women's feet out the shoe and have massaged a few and even sucked on some random chicks toes. Now when I start to 'think', this 'flow' tends to get constricted that's when the nerves kick in. When this happens, all hell breaks loose and thoughts tend to stack on thoughts and whether there girl is into me or not, I look for the nearest exit. I guess I think the creepy factor is going to kick in soon, now the negativeness of this expecting becoming creepy ...... KABOOM! I shoot myself in the foot . Sorta like "don't think of a large purple elephant" type scenarios.
Funny thing is when I leave that situation and feeling relieved, I have the internal thinking of "smh, I should've said this, should've said that" blah blah blah......
This thread is awesome. Thanks guys for the insights and advice, looking forward to more. Posted by BareSoles84 (Member # 45910) on :
Glad to read your input FLSZ.
It's true though. As was mentioned, many guys tend to reject themselves in their own minds, as opposed to the girl actually rejecting them.
That's not to say going into a conversation with the utmost confidence will always produce positive results 100% of the time, but the odds are greater for it if you do approach it optimistically; just like the odds are greater for failure if you approach it pessimistically.
I've found and therefore believe that the main key, as was mentioned before by numerous people, is to not get yourself too emotionally attached to the desired outcome, when in reality the outcome is unknown. But whatever happens, you're going to deal with it and be fine with that.
[ August 06, 2015, 06:01 PM: Message edited by: BareSoles84 ]
Posted by National (Member # 8568) on :
I don't have a problem with the things you said. In fact, I feel as if you kind of made my point for me.
Let me put this another way.
Whether it's getting women to like you in the traditional sense in that the two of you start going out, having fun and all of that, or if we're talking about getting feet images from random strangers, always being in the hunt for someone new to have fun with, is just like selling a house because you only need one buyer.
Your chances improve every time you talk to a new girl. If you are approaching women, screening them, and filtering out the ones who are incompatible to you, you are getting closer and closer to finding someone who is more compatible to your tastes. If twenty women are uninterested and unresponsive to you, it's likely that you'll come across someone who you feel is better suited for you in the next few women you hit on. If anything, your odds are improving.
It's harder to be successful than it is to give up. One should hang in there and stick to his guns. You just need to get one girl to really like you to the point in where she's all willing to go along with the fun and the ride. You don't (and shouldn't) be trying to get every girl.
The more women you hit on, the more women you get. I don't see how this is not a numbers game. And just to clear up any confusion anyone might have, when I talk about this being a numbers game, I'm not saying that all they are to me are just numbers and nothing more than numbers. I'm simply pointing out that your odds increase if you simply approach and talk to more women, that's all.
This is about finding someone who meets your criteria of what you find fun, interesting, or captivating in a woman among the many others who are in the crowd. Just find one who you're interested in, and hopefully she's someone who's very interested in you, very much into you. The caveat, however, is that you'll have to talk to and screen out bunch of other women to find a buyer, so to speak.
To increase the odds with women, one simply needs to hit on more of them. If one wants to get laid, for example, and he usually talks to two girls a night, talking to four girls instead increases his odds. Talking to ten girls increases his odds even more.
The more women you talk to, the better your chances are with finding someone who will like you and will go with whatever suggestions and ideas you throw at them. Once you really believe this, your adventures will tilt more and more in your favor. If you're in a slump, for example, and you're still looking for that next great connection, the next fun and interesting woman to form a bond or chemistry, just talk to more women. Once you know what you're doing (not that you don't know what you're doing, I'm just speaking out loud here), you won't ever feel that you just "lucked out" again.
-National
Posted by goodguyneighbor (Member # 2824) on :
A guy could eventually go on to achieve even higher odds, by being selective about the women he chooses to invest his time with.
A great deal can be gleaned about someone, without even necessarily needing to approach, just by keen observation.
Things such as body language, energy, attitude, posture, facial expressions, eye contact... speak volumes.
Ironically these are also the same things that women tend to pick up on about men almost immediately.
The key is knowing a good thing when you see it, and then acting immediately without hesitation.
Just be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it.
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