quote:Originally posted by Tyler D.: i once heard a saying that if it's a creepy guy, it's harrassment, but if the guy is like hot, it is flirting LOL
I have to agree with that statement there. If he was a young guy making the pass you probably would'nt have felt the same way. Uncle Jim sounds like he was just trying to get lucky himself like every other guy out at the bar being a bit overly flirtatious. He should just work the other side of the bar where the old hens are next time.
Agreed. 100%
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
I appreciate all the feedback, and there's a few things I have to respond to..
First of all, I didn't show up after everyone had been partying and drinking.. he had gotten back from the bar with my friend's parents (which is what makes it the most creepy.. he is old enough to be my father, literally.) Also, I think it's more the fact that he was blatantly disrespecting that I was there with my boyfriend, trying to hang out with my friends, and he comes in and starts drooling all over me, making everyone feel uncomfortable, not just me. Josh was going to say something, but since Uncle Jim was drunk, he didn't want to start anything. I definitely didn't give this guy the go ahead to flirt with me.
AND.. even if he had been cute, I would have been creeped out.. Not too long ago, Josh and I went to another one of our friends houses and I was wearing a dress and heels.. We were sitting in a circle of chairs (Me, Josh, Josh's friend and his g/f of 5 years) and when the girlfriend got up to get something inside and Josh looked away, Josh's friend (who I don't think is cute per se, but he's not ugly) took it upon himself to look down at my feet in heels, lick his lips, and look straight at me. It's a matter of respect, not how attractive you are.
I think what I'm trying to get people to understand here is that a lot of times when women dress up to feel pretty either for themselves, or their boyfriend, or hell, maybe their girlfriend, they get discouraged by other men's reactions.. which can often be over the top, and downright creepy. If these men would just learn to behave themselves, women would feel much more comfortable and confident wearing their sexiest outfits and heels. I know it's human nature to appreciate beauty, but there is a limit..
Again, I appreciate everyone's responses, I had no idea this post would be such a conversation!
posted
Ms420, i've had the luxury of asking many folks of different cultural background the similar. like you said, there is a line in appreciation and creepy. so far, it appears that the U.S's puritan-ish background makes that line less visible than other places. not sure why.
either way, i call it respect. an appreciative smile or nod, fine, drooling disrobing.. not cool
All of this is part of being young and beautiful. Many would kill to be in your position. Many invest thousands to get there. Yes there will be the occasional creep but ultimately it's flattering. A story to tell. As every beautiful woman ages those creeps/nods/smiles become less frequent if they were ellicited by beauty. Enjoy it while you have it! ;o)
No one deserves to be harrased based on what they wear/gender or what have you. But it does happen. Interesting how an attractive woman that goes out in a sexy outfit will be sick of getting hit on......while an overweight woman in the same outfit wouldn't even dream of going to the same party location because of the beauty standard there...let alone in the same outfit because it will illicit much attention. So who is more free? There is always an opportunity cost.
We are all prisoners of our appearance. Some more than others. Appreciating what you have in my opinion is the only way to be free. I bet you Megan Fox has a tough time being so hot and literally can't go anywhere without a guy being crude, but if she's thankfull for her success and beauty, and realizes that it all fades....she'll be ok.
Communicating your limits will pay dividends in helping you deal with the negative feelings associated with the harrasment.
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
The hotter a woman is, the more attention she's going to grab. In Fox's case, being famous AND the main attraction on too many men, that attraction becomes especially magnified. Everything has a price, especially outer beauty (and to a certain extent, inner beauty mixed in) because a lot of guys will not mind if the girl has a reputation of being outspoken. That kind of attitude can make someone such as Megan even hotter. Being that beauty comes with a price tag, you will have followers. After a while it becomes quite exhausting, but at the same time it comes with the territory and the feelings are also quite rewarding and special. It can be both tiresome and great. Not too long ago Megan Fox said:
"I don’t ever feel sexy in small clothes. I always feel really insecure. I don’t like wearing make-up. And if I have clean hair and a clean face, I’m more confident because I don’t feel like I’m speaking behind a mask. The attention, that other people are telling you that you are beautiful, only feeds insecurities and sort of makes it unbearable."
Not long before that, she said something that was 180 to the statement above:
"I’m just really confident sexually, and I think that sort of oozes out of my pores. It’s just there. It’s something I don’t have to turn on. If you know how to take control of [being a sex symbol], then it can be powerful, but I have no idea how to handle it yet, how to deal with it."
On her status of being a sex symbol, she said:
"I think it’s wonderful. I didn’t decide I’m gonna be an actress cause I wanna be respected for how I play chess. Part of Hollywood is being perceived as attractive."
She will say the same thing tomorrow to contradict that statement about feeling "insecure". It's a back and forth thing because, ultimately, being noticed and sought after by being a sex symbol is adoring and addictive. To keep the addiction alive, you will have to pay a price and make deals with the devil to stay at the top of the game.
[ September 11, 2009, 10:49 PM: Message edited by: National ]
posted
I have a different perspective I guess. While I do not think anyone ahould be subjected to being harassed, he mat have been unaware that you had had a long evening at work. It could have been the tiredness that made you more prone to not want to be bothered. Most humans tend to let less things go when they are tired because it increases their irritability. I guess I have never understood why some ladies will go out to a public place and want to be left alone and not bothered. It confuses me just a bit.
-------------------- New Ship but she's got the right name. You treat her like a lady and she'll always bring you home. Posts: 4051 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
the guy was clearly drunk and as a result his balance was shhot to shit. if alll he did was nudge your foot, sorry but could that not just be him having zero co-ordination? like a number of people have said - he wouldnt associate feet with anything sexual, though he sounds like a bit of a perv, i dont think id call it harrassment...
Posts: 563 | Registered: Feb 2009
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