posted
I'm curious if anyone, guys or girls, can relate to this..
The other night, I had just gotten out of work at my waitressing job, and had been a bit dressed up to serve for a wedding rehearsal. I was wearing a skirt, black nylons, and flats, and Josh and I decided to stop at a friend's house to hang out for a bit. I took my shoes off because the flats weren't the most comfortable, especially after being on my feet for 5 hours, and I propped them up on the bars of the table I was sitting it, with them right in Josh's view.. After a little while, a guy that my friend calls "Uncle Jim" came over, who is in his mid 50s.. I had met him before, and he was a bit flirtatious, but this time he had a little too much to drink and was flat-out hitting on me.. telling me I had great legs, asking why I was wearing nylons, etc. I was okay until he took his boot and very deliberately nudged my foot with it, looking at me while he did it. For some reason, even such a small, seemingly innocent gesture, irked me, and I felt as if I'd been harassed.. I couldn't get the feeling to go away, and I immediately put my feet down on the floor, and slipped my shoes back on. Thankfully we left very shortly afterwards, and I told Josh what had happened and how grossed out I was.
Does anyone have a similar story, or feel the same way? Even though it may seem innocent, to a girl who relates her feet to sex, it was definitely a bit too personal for me to be okay with it.
Perhaps I'm being a bit too dramatic, so that's why I wanted to post this lil story with you..
posted
Hi, 'Uncle Jim' sounds a drag. Why can't you just chill and be left alone to relax? All your body language would have said, 'I'm just chillin' and Uncle Jim must have known that and picked up on it..but he went ahead anyway with his clusmy and slightly aggressive pass with no thought for you or Josh. It sounds like you handled things brilliantly though.
Yes, you relate to your feet to sex but you are also a hard working woman who is also entitled to put her feet up at the end of the day and to chill in peace. Hugs. x
Posts: 21 | Registered: Jun 2008
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Yeah, just little things can get you fumeing sometimes. For reasons I haven't the effort to go into, I had to go to church for a service (I'm atheist) and the preist talked for about half an hour about how England won the Ashes (cricket). To basically everyone else that was forced there, this was great! But I abhor most sport and basically all talking about it...I was tensing up I was like...ready for a fucking fight with the priest. hahaha
Not even exaggerating, I was physically uncomfortable with clenched fists.
posted
I totally understand. For the most part I love attention from men, however, sometimes I just want to be left alone and if during that time I am hit on, well lets just say I feel sorry for that guy. I can be a B.I.T.C.H. when I am in a mood...lol
I am guessing that you just weren't in a mood to deal with that crap after a long day. You are justified in your feelings.
posted
Sorry to hear about your ordeal. Dude probably just had a bit too much to drink and couldn't control himself.
I might turn into an Uncle Jim when I reach his age. If this is the case, then bluntly tell me to "FUCK OFF" ...
-------------------- "When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit" - Dr Emmit L. Brown (Back To The Future) Posts: 7894 | Registered: Jan 2007
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posted
i completely understand. i had a family friend walk by and tickle my foot while i was watching tv "hes creepy too" and it felt like he had felt me up! totally uncomfortable. your justified
-------------------- So…. Here you are… too foreign for home…. too foreign for here…. Never enough for both……
posted
You had every right to be pissed, he violated your personal space when he nudged you and thats not cool at all. What woman wouldn't be mad at some guy touching them like that let alone just getting off work.
Posts: 59 | Registered: May 2009
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posted
my take on this, he was hitting on you.. made a pass at you. you politely said no.. he insisted.. your feelings are correct. and i'd be pretty ticked if my lady had asked a guy to leave her alone and he kept pushing beyond that point.
being in a reltionship or not, or being tired or not is not really that relevant. he made a pass at you that you didn't want and he didn't get a hint.
it could have been your feet, your hand, your leg, your hair, your cheek. point is, you didn't want the advance and he was pouring it on thick. that is harassment!
shame really. in the work place, he'd be in trouble. in the streets, your man could beat the crap out of him.
i don't advocate violence. but this dude was wrong.
posted
I guess I know the feeling. Like a drunk chic feeling you up thinking it's ok because she's a girl. I get that with older women out here. It's annoying. You feel sort of dirty....and not in the good way lol.
But sometimes you have to lay down the law and let them know whats up. "if it's not worth fighting for, you're not worthy to have it". In this case it's your comfort. Let Uncle jim know "don't touch me!" And he'll be so embarrased he won't pull that crap again. But it starts with you. Your bf can finish it. I hate when chics expect me to get angry and go apeshit on a guy that they were leading on/flirting with moments ago. At that point i'm pissed at her. Let me see my girl reject a guy, only to have that guy ignore her protest, then I go apeshit. Don't care if I met her that night.
Some guys are clueless....DONOT give them the benefit of the doubt. Make your feelings heard. Girl Power ;o)
GQguy
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
You have every right to be upset... there is like switch in alot of 50 something men that seems like they need to act like the biggest perverts... unfortunately my father can be like this. I hate to admit it most of the time and her embarrasses me.
posted
I guess I am in the minority here because I don't think it was that big of a deal and probably has no idea that your feet or that you think of your feet in a sexual way. Guys that don't have a foot fetish would probably see no big deal in nudging someone's feet. Plus if they were all partying and drinking or whatever and you came in sober then you are kind of behind in the 8-ball in that situation anyway.
Posts: 144 | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
jg24fan, the feet is not the issue, in my opinion. just the unwanted attention that's the issue. but..you do raise the fact that it's not about the feet....
quote:Originally posted by Tyler D.: i once heard a saying that if it's a creepy guy, it's harrassment, but if the guy is like hot, it is flirting LOL
I have to agree with that statement there. If he was a young guy making the pass you probably would'nt have felt the same way. Uncle Jim sounds like he was just trying to get lucky himself like every other guy out at the bar being a bit overly flirtatious. He should just work the other side of the bar where the old hens are next time.
posted
Give Uncle Joe a break because was doing the best he know how and he was drinking, and putting his best foot forward in trying to get some attention or maybe a good turn in the sack. I think some women should learn more social skills on being polite for un-wanted advances. Also, let there yes mean yes and their no's mean no's. Other words, us guys are not mind reader but if something is in it for some women she will probably play alone and at the same time she really mean no.
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