posted
Hey all. Well I'll attempt to keep this short. A couple of days ago I deleted all of my porn, which was 100% foot fetish stuff. I don't know why. I just did it.
I went out with a girl who is gorgeous and intelligent this past friday. I really like her. Well we spent the night together. I was drunk and could not keep it up, but we still messed around. The next morning, more messing around, but I was only to stay inside her for like 5 minutes. My erection just went away. Once again I figured it was just a hangover. Later that day I went to work and realized I had gotten a cold.
I had this thought today that well maybe I need to do some jerking for maintenance purposes. I decided that since I didn't have any porn, I would just fantasize about the girl. Well I could get erected, but once again it would just go away. So I decided to look at some foot porn. I was not turned on. In fact I think I was turned off.
The point of all this is: am I losing my foot fetish? Is my penis 'confused' since feet dont do it for me? Or is it something to do with the girl? I'm only 27, I shouldnt be having these problems. Maybe its stress? I dont know guys, and I honestly dont have alot of people to discuss this with.
I'm seeing her again this thursday, and dammnit I want to be able to have sex with her. Any thoughts guys?
Posts: 25 | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
We all go through different periods as we advance through our years. There are times when just bare shoulders will make my heart race and other times when there seems to be nothing that interests me.
For me, feet have been a fairly consistent turn-on but not always; other of my preference comes to the fore (e.g. tormenting my tightly bound girlfriend).
The point is that you shouldn't sweat this too much; and don't analyze every erection you have or don't have (by the way, alcohol is no friend to a boner). If you start to "watch" yourself and your performance, you are going to make sex even more difficult an act; you'll be so busy thinking about yourself that you won't have time to think about the good moment you have before you.
Relax and just let it happen.
I guess that the upside to wiping out your porn stash is that you get to start your collection all over again.
Good luck.
I'm sure there will be some other very helpful insights to follow.
Posts: 5067 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
Alcohol can kill a hardon in nothing flat. Especially copious amounts of it.
Everything else sounds like stress. This time of year is rough on lots of people for lots of reasons. Spontaneously deleting your porn can be a declarative action--maybe an attempt to wrest control back...
OK enough armchair therapy. Except to say don't just continue to beat yourself up. See if you can talk with someone about the other stress in your life. Good luck bro.
posted
Excellent advice here! None to add. Just chill bro.
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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Thanks for your thoughtful responses. I appreciate you all taking my question seriously. I agree, that it was a combination of alcohol and stress. Also after having a few days to reflect on it, I was a little surprised and felt slightly pressured by her insisting we have sex on the first date. I'm not used to that. Well, we'll see how things go moving forward.
Thank you all, Kalagilac
Posts: 25 | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
yeah, I know I'm late to it, but it is likely the stress for sure. I know that when my wife wants to go at it and the kids sound like they are waking up from their beds in their room, I get stressed and worried that they will come out and see the two of us, naked and doing something...
I get stressed and then it doesn't do it for me. You can't lose your fetish.
98% of people think its cool to put a statistic in their sig. If you're one of the 2% that.. Wait, shit. Posts: 239 | Registered: Nov 2011
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Also, out of curiousity, did you take any cold medicine? I know the last two times I got sick, and was using Tylenol Cold, I couldn't get/maintain a hard on for the life of me. So it may be something in medecine
Posts: 35 | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
I agree with what everyone else posted too. It was probably more a combination of the alcohol, cold medicine and/or stress, not to mention that you may just be at a stage where what was a sure fire turn on isn't so much a sure fire thing anymore, or it may vary in its intensity. Believe me, it happens! Like the others have already said, I wouldn't make a big deal about it.
-------------------- "I like feet... A lot!" Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
Wow, thank all of you guys very much. Well I am happy to report that my libido feels back to normal. But, she canceled on me for tonight... Supposedly we are moving it to Sunday. We'll see...
Posts: 25 | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
All I can say is wow. I got played. She canceled thursdays date, but spent all night texting me. Then on Friday I got a facebook message saying: 'youre a nice guy but I'm not at a point in my life where I want to date anyone. I dont want to lead you on. We had a nice casual encounter, so lets leave it at that'. Gee, thanks for making me feel like an idiot.
Posts: 25 | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
Actually dude, at least it was only days and not weeks or months. I think you dodged a bullet here. And don't feel stupid. No reason to. Be grateful there is one less nutbag in your life. Now go have a beverage. Pax, -hyp
Posts: 3723 | Registered: May 2010
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quote:Originally posted by kalagilac: Hey all. Well I'll attempt to keep this short. A couple of days ago I deleted all of my porn, which was 100% foot fetish stuff. I don't know why. I just did it.
Having a porn stash is absolutely normal so unless you needed space, the motivation was to seek a real relationship etc... a healthy motivation, but deleting your "porn" means you might think you can only have one or the other. Which is a sign of clinical depression unfortunately.
quote: I went out with a girl who is gorgeous and intelligent this past friday. I really like her. Well we spent the night together. I was drunk and could not keep it up, but we still messed around. The next morning, more messing around, but I was only to stay inside her for like 5 minutes. My erection just went away. Once again I figured it was just a hangover. Later that day I went to work and realized I had gotten a cold.
Drinking heavily on a date will not lead to anything "productive" so you're nervous and self-medicating.
quote: I had this thought today that well maybe I need to do some jerking for maintenance purposes. I decided that since I didn't have any porn, I would just fantasize about the girl. Well I could get erected, but once again it would just go away. So I decided to look at some foot porn. I was not turned on. In fact I think I was turned off.
Again signs of Clin-Dep or you're simply going through the upper respiratory problem.
quote: The point of all this is: am I losing my foot fetish? Is my penis 'confused' since feet dont do it for me? Or is it something to do with the girl? I'm only 27, I shouldnt be having these problems. Maybe its stress? I dont know guys, and I honestly dont have alot of people to discuss this with.
It's frustration and stress, you need a lifestyle change. Don't start it by getting rid of things that you find pleasurable. Definition for Clin-Dep is not finding pleasure in activities that normally bring you pleasure, like going out to movies, sex, feet etc.. make a list. How are your sleeping patterns?
quote: I'm seeing her again this thursday, and dammnit I want to be able to have sex with her. Any thoughts guys?
Do not put this kind of pressure on yourself, try if at all to have a good time, don't seek sex, real intimacy comes from being able to open up and be intimate, not from "willing yourself" to become erect!
Don't drink, and Don't Panic, Sleep well but not in the middle of the day! When you have a chance talk to a professional (psychologist/counselor).
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