posted
Oh SNAP!! Wrinklesguy you live in sactown too!! Man hit me up sometimes, I live in Citrus Heights! If you go to foot parties we can commute down to the bay.
-------------------- The second largest production sites of human pheromones are on the feet. Conincedence! I think not! Posts: 179 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Wow this is unbelievable. It's been said several times already but I'll agree & say this is the funniest thing I've ever read. Easy for me to say but you just can't stop laughing when you read this. You should be a writer Ben.
Posts: 332 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Ahhh Ben man! You killed me!!!!! I have not laughed so hard like this for ages!! Ohhhh boy! The funny thing is the contrast of you (I imagine as being the perfect gent) all suited up with a fine lady friend, going out for a meal, to have your bowels misbehave like that! Ohh man! Don't get me wrong though, I know it must obviously have been hugely embarrasing, but i'm sure you now see the funny side. As for the lady you were hoping to entertain......if she hasn't even got the decency to even hear you out and at least try and appreciate what you'd been through, she probably ain't worth the bother anyway. You've shared this with us all. Malory and Summer are still down with you. They understand you and that this could have happened to anyone. Infact, you've got Malory and Summer!! What more could need!!
-------------------- "Now put your feet up here my dear, so I can lick up on them toes until the Revlon disappears" - Big Daddy Kane (For the lover in you) Twitter: @j_winnfieldbmf Posts: 1028 | Registered: Jun 2004
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The girl herself ... well, let's just say I never really had to worry much about her reaction - other than screaming "EAT SH.T" at the top of her lungs on a chance meeting (in another fine restaurant) because she'd never answer calls, emails, etc. I didn't even try to explain because WHO in their RIGHT MIND would EVER BELIEVE this?
You are right about Summer and Malory of course and as long as they are around, who cares about other concerns.
This incident has become folklore among the footgirls and I hear a lot about it when they are all together (social events, foot parties, karaoke nights, etc.).
Audra and Trinity re-tell their own version of the story with me being chased and hunted down by a throng of "townspeople", finally cornering me .. and I shouting out "I'm not an animal! I'm a human being".
Liv wants me to make a foot video, working this somehow into the plot! Oddly enough, I did see the humor in it, even as this horrible and bizarre event unfolded; humor which I was not able to enjoy at the time, but am able to now.
-------------------- Respectfully,
Ben
Malory in Signature Posts: 5772 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
LMAO...oh God..Ben's gonna start making "Fecal Videos" now.Maybe Dress Malory up like a cavegirl and you hit her over the head with your caveman bat and well..ok my imagination is going wild here..
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Join thousands of our fans on Twitter @Norcalfeetdotco Posts: 18336 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Speaking of Miss Malory ..... you should see this thread, there are a couple of smoking photos there. We took them literally while online and hoisted them up right then and there.
posted
funniest story i ever read. its like something from a Ben Stiller movie. i still feel bad for you. just a little advice. my cell is always clipped on my belt or pants. it only leaves my side when i am home or having sex.if you don't want to be bothered just lower the volume or shut if off. i would never leave it in a jacket at a coat check in a restraunt. what if someone took your phone? its your word against theres. and how do you prove its in you jacket? i still don't think it mattered anyway. it would have at least took a friend a half an hour to get there... and thats asuming he's around. maybe he left his cell in his jacket at a coat check? then when he does get there unless he's got keys to your place your getting sweat pants and a sweat shirt. chances of you both being the same size are slim. and even if all thats works in your favor, this girl is not going to wait about an hour for you. i give you 30 mins for your friend to get there, and thats if he's already home and does have to go somewhere to get cloths for you. 10 mins you have been there already. and another 10 mins after he gets to you and you get ready to come out. if she's still there she's going to be pissed and how do you explain the change of cloths. sorry buddy, this night was doomed the second you shit yourself. i guess leaving was the best thing to do.
Posts: 64 | Registered: Apr 2006
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You're right about one thing for sure .. even if I could have called a friend, it would have taken at least a half hour for he or she to get there; and the "townsolk" who were gathered out in that parking lot were already becoming hostile, as I clutched wildly at my car door handles.
I was better off running, at least that gave me a fighting chance to elude people and authorities long enough to find relief somewhere.
-------------------- Respectfully,
Ben
Malory in Signature Posts: 5772 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
Talk about skeletons in the closet! I took Little Christy and a friend of hers to Westlake Center tonight. We had a great time goofing around, window shopping, etc. and then walked to Belltown for a meal at an excellent restaurant down there.
We were in high spirits; had a great afternoon and we knew the evening held even better things, as we walked and talked. The weather was perfect and the company better yet.
And then it happened - there she was - after almost three years, a hideous (and vocal) reminder of one of the most wretched, ghastly evenings of my adult life. KAREN!
There was no way around it, we practically walked right into each other. Dumbfounded and at a complete loss as to how I should handle this chance meeting, I blurted out "Oh, Karen, this is Christy and Julie. Would you like to join us for dinner".
Karen's reply: "Yeah right, so you can order $200 worth of SHIT, then sneak off and stiff me with the bill. What are you fucking NUTS???."
She walked by (briskly), making it obvious, she was not exactly enamoured of me. Christy and her little friend were shocked and stunned. We continued our walk in silence for a few minutes. Christy then spoke up, asking "what the heck could you do to make that girl so upset? Is she like an ex wife or something?".
Just to keep things simple, I said "Yes, she's an ex wife. It was a bitterly-contested divorce and she still harbors some strenuous resentment over the settlement. You know how it goes".
I think she believed me. Lamentably, this little chance meeting with Karen somehow took the wind out of our sails and deflated the high spirits we had been carrying. Dinner was good, but subdued. I'm concerned that Christy and her little friend will always have a lingering doubt in the back of their minds. Moreover, any attempts to explain the REAL reason (and sickening story behind it) ... well, there's no way they'd believe that. And even if they could, who would WANT them to?
I guess this is what they mean by golden goody, blast from the past.
-------------------- Respectfully,
Ben
Malory in Signature Posts: 5772 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
She lives in Kirkland now, too bad you had to run into her in Belltown. Still a funny story though.
Posts: 477 | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
"Still a funny story though." Comment by Malory
More like a nightmare. I kept waiting for Ben to say he was just making it all up. How in the world does one ever live that down; especially with Karen still around? It is a classic story, though. It took a lot of guts (no pun intended) to confess that.
posted
Ben- I so feel for you in what happens to you and that feeling of absolute panic of not knowing what to do. So sorry you had to experience that. It's one of those things that there's just no easy, pat answer for as to how to get out of...
And even trying to call and explain what happened, as we know, would probably have been futile.
I guess it's a commentary on our society, but it is a bit disturbing how quickly people think you're the bad guy when something like this happens. So quick to judge and unable to put themselves into your shoes and imagine how horrible it would be and how hard to get out of.
Though a million times less stressful than your evening, I had an episode a few weeks ago...
I had just finished my lunch at a place near my office that I go to at least once a week when, reaching for my wallet, discovered that it was not there. What a sinking feeling. Not only because you can't pay for an honest debt that you incurred, but wondering whether it's truly lost or just misplaced.
I calmly explained the situation to the waitress, who then called over the manager. Now again, here I am- a regular weekly customer for over two months- wearing my county name badge in full view, explainging the situation and that I of course have every intention at my earliest opportunity to pay them (I work 8-5 with a lunch hour, but cannot leave the premises otherwise). You'd have thought I was a criminal. I half thought they were going to call the cops. She inisisted that I come back that evening and pay- when I didn't even know for sure where my wallet was! I was dumbfounded.
I found my wallet when I got home. I had left it in the shorts that I had worn the night before. I was incredibly relieved of course.
I went back that next day and paid without incident. No one even made a big deal out of it- which is the way it should have been.
Anyway, so sorry to hear about your "mishap" and subsequent running into her. Chalk it up to life experience!
Posts: 9728 | Registered: Feb 2004
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