posted
To: Joanne and everyone else: this is a very interesting topic. As for myself I am 20 years old and I am a virgin. My choice is due to religious reasoning. I'm Catholic and I don't consider to be that religious but this is something that I do follow. I say that I want to have sex after marriage and that's just a decision of mine. The negative part would be the first time I do it will I be good? I follow that but I feel bad because I have had oral sex in the past and it turned out to be with someone who was cheating on her significant other, so I hate playing the oh it was just oral so it doesn't count game. I could have had sex with that lady that night and she really wanted me to, but I turned her down. As for the first kiss, Joanne, you said that you hope it happens with your husband. I don't even know you but I really hope you have a great first kiss. Others may think of it as nothing but the first really is special (or maybe I overrate it) My first kiss happened with a girl who turned out just used me for a one night stand sort of thing. Weeks later she moved onto another co-worker to make out with. Honestly I probably like making out better than anything sexual. When I was with her I probably could have had sex with her, but I thought like kissing was romantic and special, so I didn't make any sexual advance. Joanne, I really wish you all the best because I feel as if I'm in the same boat. I would like to have a wife who is a virgin, I'm not big on the dating scene and I look for a lot in a female.
Posts: 2004 | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Me personally I don't see anything wrong with sex out of marriage. As long as your responsible and don't allow your lust to harm others and don't over indulge it there is nothing wrong with it.
Posts: 146 | Registered: Jun 2007
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I understand that people have different religious points of view but.. what happens let's say.. it's a true story, you're a 24 year old girl saving herself for marriage you meet a guy that seems quite nice, then you fall in love with him, marry him, and then it turns out that the sex is not good.. what happens then? I presume everything else starts falling apart
Posts: 213 | Registered: Feb 2005
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quote:i wanted to say something else to you Joanne but i think i wont.
please dont hold back and just write what you want to tell me
quote:lol well I'm a 28.5 year old virgin guy...never had a girlfriend dated or even kissed/made out (and yeah no "foot action" either).
thank you, your such an inspiration, really, you are. i dont want to lose it on a one night stand either. i cant understand people who want to have sex just for a one off - thats crazy.
and thanks octoberbaseball - your story is understandable - and i love that you are saving yourself for marraige - mine is not religious or anything - its just MY ethics. alot og girls have sex with they are in "love" - then they breakup and have sex with somoneone else who they are in "love" with - and the cycle goes on - i dont think i can do that - marriage is a commitment.
quote:let's say.. it's a true story, you're a 24 year old girl saving herself for marriage you meet a guy that seems quite nice, then you fall in love with him, marry him, and then it turns out that the sex is not good.. what happens then? I presume everything else starts falling apart
well in my eyes, i had waited for the right person (as opposed to a one night stand or dating) - got married (commitment) then had sex. okay so if sex is not good - we can get sex therapy classes (or whatever you call them LOL) and work together.
posted
Thanks Joanne, 2 things. 1. About the one night stand, I had my first kiss as a one night stand, and it was definitely with the wrong person. I feel bad about it even though it was like a year ago and many would say it was only a kiss. Something like that to me I wish could have been a special moment, even though they say that people move on. 2. About your ethics, I give you a lot of credit because I think you are a rare type. I only wish there were more girls out there like you. If I was attracted to a girl or even if any advances were to happen with any of my friends I would feel weird kissing her or even making out with her due to her past. It would be odd for me to kiss or have sex with someone who I knew kissed someone else in the past. Almost like my mouth where another guy's mouth has been.
Posts: 2004 | Registered: Mar 2007
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quote:Originally posted by octoberbaseball: It would be odd for me to kiss or have sex with someone who I knew kissed someone else in the past. Almost like my mouth where another guy's mouth has been.
wow i dont even know where to begin.
Posts: 4545 | Registered: May 2004
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quote:Originally posted by octoberbaseball: It would be odd for me to kiss or have sex with someone who I knew kissed someone else in the past. Almost like my mouth where another guy's mouth has been.
wow i dont even know where to begin.
Life is without a doubt passing you by my friend. A kiss is like a hug a handshake it's just more intimate. I use kisses to express and share emotion. It could be a kiss on the forehead when I see my pop after being deployed, a kiss for a baby after admiring how cute she is or a kiss for a girl whom I got along with very well for the night. Funny, kissing exist in 95% of the cultures world wide and from that same study I learned that women gauge compatability from that first kiss. Something tells me you're not abstaining from kissing, but rather not interacting with women on romantic level at all. Kissing is so natural, it just happens.
I love irony! A foot guy that won't kiss a woman because he's concerned with where her mouth has been. GQguy
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Isn't it funny that women are usually always attracted to the guys that have the most sex as opposed to the guys that don't.
That's why I don't like women much. They're pathetic hypocrites who pretend to have certain morals when they really don't. That's ok though. I'm glad I no longer have anyone on a pedestal. Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever fall in love again as I simply don't respect women enough.
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you are like a mirror of my mind!!!! - i too want a guy who has never kissed before, or done anything before - because i think i would wonder what he did with someone else before me...i thought iwas the only one who thought like this...but i was wrong
quote:Originally posted by DeadGoon: That's why I don't like women much. They're pathetic hypocrites who pretend to have certain morals when they really don't. That's ok though. I'm glad I no longer have anyone on a pedestal. Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever fall in love again as I simply don't respect women enough.
Oh my... Woman broke your heart? Now its time to learn how to swallow a choad!
I never bought into putting anyone up on a pedestal, but I've certainly not made a blanket generalization like you have. Not everyone is going to act the same.
Someone also mentioned the kissing taboo a few posts up. I'm beginning to really think some folks are a bit too wound tight here! I guess these past ultra conservative 7 years in the U.S. has truly affected many folks outlook towards even something as showing affection with a friendly kiss.
quote:Originally posted by GQguy: Isn't it funny that women are usually always attracted to the guys that have the most sex as opposed to the guys that don't.
That's why I don't like women much. They're pathetic hypocrites who pretend to have certain morals when they really don't. That's ok though. I'm glad I no longer have anyone on a pedestal. Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever fall in love again as I simply don't respect women enough.
Women are great! Yes thier words don't always match thier actions. But attraction is not your choice. I'd love to say i'd rather be with the intellectual nice girl type and looks aren't all that important, but look at my track record. I'd be a hypocrite. But I can't choose who i'm attracted to. Women like guys with "balls", it's as simple as that. Nice guys willing to buy dinner and give foot rubs are a dime a dozen. Can you be a cool guy with balls tha isn't afraid to stand up to his woman and stand up for his woman? Are you comfotable inyour own skin? There you go. Listen to what women say, but listen even more carefully to what they do. Thier actions will tell you the type of man they want. As for a woman wanting guy that has never kissed before I find that interesting. I remember my first real kiss haha. I was in college 18 a virgin and clueless! I had this hot sophmore come down to hangout and watch a movie with me one saturday night. She didn't leave till 6am and we did nothing lol. She might have sat in my lap. Anyway when she was leaving she pulled down on my neck and kissed me. Basically I had no clue what to do and how to take the lead. Not sexy or attractive. Cute, but I highly doubt she was smoking a cigarette after she left my dorm. There are certain things a man needs to learn before he settles don to keep things interesting.
Joanne. When you do choose to kiss a guy I assure you your brain might want to choose the guy with zero experience but your body will respond far better to the guy that has practiced before that moment. Best of luck in finding what you want.
GQguy
-------------------- If she won't indulge your fetish, I bet you that cuter, smarter girl across the bar will. Lets go find out. Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Maybe it depends, I have thought maybe I should practice sex or kissing in case I get with someone who I really like. My first kiss was actually no problem at all.
Posts: 2004 | Registered: Mar 2007
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I hate to be the bearer of bad news on the topic, but after reading this, too much emphasis is placed on waiting for the "one" and expecting it to be this grand moment of bonding and perfection but it's not. This ain't the Matrix. It's sex. Plain and simple. The biggest sex organ is the mind. You can have great passionate sex with the person you have been waiting for, or not. Whoever you really really fall in love and the chemistry you have will determine the good sex and the love. Love can come and go and replace and take everything in the blink of an eye.
Did you ever think about divorce? Hate to say it but it is a real factor to consider in a marriage. Who ever says that will never happen will probably have it happen to them. So, what if you lose your partner and are new to dating again, but only having been with one partner. That puts you at a HUGE disadvantage and the reason is that you dont know shit about yourself and your own sexualtiy at this point. So what do you do when you find someone you really like but they want someone who is a virgin like them? You hope they understand or your out of luck.
Dating is a trial and error process and going through it you learn about yourself. Sex is the same way. You learn about it and your relation to it.
Waiting till marriage sounds nice and prefect and special. Especially being with someone who has never done anything also. It makes it into a learning experience for you to bond and grow together, which is the pipe dream. If you really love this person, you will find that your relationship will bond on SO many deeper levels that sex seems trivial.
But its still important. And for waiting for someone unexperienced it sounds like you might want to look at yourself Joanne and your own level off comfort and security. If your worrying about what they did with someone else before you. it would be wise to look at yourself first cause your head not in the right spot. Its ok to be nervous with about not having no experience. But a child tries to walk and falls many times before they get it right. So what if there is a learning curve. Thats all part of life.
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posted
And last thing! I lose my virginity when I was 23. I'm 28 now. The reason I held off initially was for marriage. I later realized that i was really putting it up on a pedestal.
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