posted
just got a gf... and i was wondering how you guys broach the subject? im trying to get a read on her ive done the obligatory subtle complements etc etc do you dive right in during sex and hope all goes well or should i wait a little while before i tell her any personal experiences or things to avoid would def be appreciated
Posts: 279 | Registered: Sep 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think i waited a good 2 months before i flat out said i have a foot fetish. I really just eased into it, and by the time i told her she kind of had an idea and was fine with it.
All i can say is to just keep giving subtle comments about her feet, and give her footrubs.
posted
I am sorry but I still find it ludicrous anytime someone suggests "easing them into it" with footrubs. As if you are 'tricking' them into liking something. I mean really, all women know foot rubs feel good. This is not news and they do not need to be taught this. It won't suddenly make her open to the fetish if she otherwise would not be. Your fetish involves activities that are a hell of a lot different than massaging. The best way to breach the subject is to:
A.) find someone you're compatible with that you can have good conversations with.
B.) Discuss sexuality with them and let the topic take its course. Communication is key.
Posts: 425 | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
When I met my future wife, I simply told her that I "kind of" had a thing for "hands and feet" when we were discussing turn-ons early in the relationship. I then actually made it seem like her feet were the first pair of feet that really stood out to me, and that I loved her toes. It was almost in the context of like "Wow, this is kind of odd, I've never really been this attracted to a girl's feet before". From that point forward, it was me gradually and continuously pushing the boundaries from there. That way, first of all, she felt it was largely something special between us. It also helped me to avoid giving her the impression that I was some pervert who drooled over feet all the time. I also found it helpful to keep things light, and have a sense of humour about it. She ended up being 100% on board not long after that. You might say it was a bit of a chicken-shit approach, but it worked for me. She's a great girl and her feet are to die for - I didn't want to scare her off.
Scarlet's advice is very wise, to find someone compatible with whom you can have good conversations. None of this would have been possible without that fact. You also may require a bit of patience.
posted
Personally I tend to go ahead and get the fact I have a foot fetish out of the way whenever the subject of turn on's, fantasies, kinks, or sex comes up.
I have a main reason for this and that is it is better to prepare her for it rather than have her surprised by it later on.
Simple truth (or at least in my opinion), if your foot fetish is truly a part of your sex life, then if she is not going to ever be into it, then you will not ever be completely happy. I mean if you are putting such an emphasis on sex at the moment then you can't hide it from her, because you would be miserable.
Be honest, but don't just go, "Hey mind if I suck and cum on your toes?"
Back in the days of college, an ex of mine started rubbing my crouch with her toes under the table during dinner at a friends house. I didn't fight her, I just enjoyed it. Later that evening in our private time, I asked her to do it again, and she looked at me and asked if I had a foot fetish. I wanted to say well DUH?! But i used some tact and just said yes. She said "wow, that's different, most guys just want to play with my boobs or get a blow job."
I told her I wasn't one of those guys, I was me and that this is what I enjoyed. I made it something special between us. And in turn she enjoyed it. There was no easing into it. There wasn't some game of cat and mouse. I am usually asked before anything happens lately, if I do have a foot fetish. Hey if I asked her out then obviously I took into mind a number of things, including foot fetish potential. So why beat around the bush about it? She already is suspect of it, then why not just put her mind to rest. Ther are only a few things that could happen. 1. She says that she can't deal with it, which saves us both some time.
2. She is intrigues by it and wants to try it out, or
3. Been there, done that, doesn't mind the ride.
Can I live without it? yes. But I want it and that is almost as good as needing it.
Usually there are many questions concerning it, that follow. My favorite was a girl I met through a mutual friend, who asked me "Why would you enjoy feet?! they smell, they get dirty, and that have the white powdery stuff on them!"
My mind was still trying to get around that white powdery stuff part mostly (Since i have never run into it, I guess I was missing that point.)
I answered the questions simply as, "I don't get bothered by the smell, I rather enjoy it, but I can't begin to tell you why. Some guys enjoy the smell of used underware, not my thing, but hey whatever floats your boat. As for being dirty, Your hands touch less desirable things than your feet, the vagina is kind of like a self cleaning oven, and you put food in your mouth with the very hands that touch the less desirable things in this world. As for white powdery stuff on your feet, lotion, foot baths, pumice stones and buffing boards takes care of dryness.
And imagine, she kept talking to me after that, so I rather like to think that the foot fetish thing was not as big a deal as she made it initially out to be.
Similar situation different girl, she said, "I hear you have a foot fetish."
"And?"
"I'm not sure if I can mess with you knowing that. Whips chains, I can handle, but you can't mess with my feet."
"Oh well."
A few weeks later we were going at it in her bedroom. I guess it was kind of like trying broccoli the first time, she was certain she was going to hate it and it turned out to be pretty good for her.
I know that that does not work on everyone, it has back fired on me more than once, but it was worth the chance in my book.
I'm not saying jump her with it, just be honest about it. If you have a foot fetish you don't have to advertise it, but you shouldn't have to hide it either. It is not like you bury bodies in the back yard or something. Talk about it, explain yourself. And as I am certain I have said before, you got to make it worth her while. You can't just expect to take and take and take. Give her a reason to want and enjoy doing it. Because if you make your pleasures the focus of the sexual part of your relationship, she is definitely going to get bored and walk away.
And I personally try not to take her being willing to play "footsies" with me my main goal. It's like having your favorite food every day for every meal. It get old, boring and less appealing after a while.
Just share it, let it be known, talk it out, and let it follow its course. Don't rush it, don't make it seem like the most important thing in the world.
This is a foot fetish forum so yes the main focus of most discussions is going to be feet, but do you only talk about that with your friends?
Posts: 649 | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I agree with the people who say introduce it at the beginning of your relationship - women who don't want their feet worshipped will tell you and then you can move on and find a woman who will appreciate the sexuality of foot erotica.
-------------------- Charlotte xx Posts: 52 | Registered: Jan 2009
| IP: Logged |
bluetoelover
unregistered
posted
Xero has perhaps just made this thread a sticky!
IP: Logged |
posted
xero ive never told anyone about my fetish ever im in college right now and ive met this girl i really like best part is she really likes me so i figure she would be accepting
Posts: 279 | Registered: Sep 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
I am like spotlight... every girl I have dated knew about my foot fetish right away... I just tell them str8 up... it is usually within our first conversation...
Posts: 235 | Registered: Dec 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
I've taken the opposite approach than most of the guys who have already responded to this thread. Personally, I've never came out and had "the conversation" with any woman I was seeing, interested in, etc., and let them know I like women's feet. For me, actions speak louder than words. Also, I think the natural reaction is for women to, at the very least, feel weird about what you're telling them or get completely freaked/grossed out.
I'd say give the relationship enough time so that she's comfortable being with you and trusts you. Once that feeling is there, then just go from a foot massage to toe sucking when you're alone one on one with her. If you're seeing each other on a fairly regular basis and are "an item", then that comfort level will start to settle in fairly quickly (i.e. a couple of months) so it's not like you'll be wasting a lot of time if she, by chance, acts negatively towards your actions. It will still be early enough in the relationship to see if she enjoys that kind of thing and, if she doesn't, are/will you be okay with that and then decide what to do from there.
I just wanted to put another option for you out there if you find having "the conversation" with her awkward.
-------------------- "I like feet... A lot!" Posts: 2167 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
-------------------- New Ship but she's got the right name. You treat her like a lady and she'll always bring you home. Posts: 4051 | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I say screw the bs and tell her. I always tell a woman when I am going to meet her (at my house. for coffee,date) to wear some sexy shoes. I always play with their feet when I flirt with them and if they ask why I am so into their feet I tell them I am a guy who is into feet.
The key is to not be "shy" about it because they will think you are insecure about yourself and that will single handedly destroy everything. Be bold and have that attitude where she has to accept who you are and not the other way around. Be sure not to seek her approval for you being different.
I hope this helps for this and any future relationships you have.
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
