I have had a girlfriend for a year now, and we are very happy together.
The problem is: I dont have the guts to tell her about my foot fetish.
Why? Two reasons. The first time we had sex (12 months ago), i told her to take off her socks. She then replied: Oh, i hope you dont have a thing for feet.
I was embarresed and said "no, of course not".
The second reason: I am very scared that our relationship will be in danger if i tell her about my fetish, and i cant take the embarresment of her seeing me as a freak.
I have kissed her feet a couple of times, and i think she knows i think they are quite sexy, but she does not know that my fetish is huge.
Now, over to my question:
I am travelling to Zurich, Switzerland in a couple of weeks. I am seriosly considering bying an escort girl, so i can fullfill my fantasy of really exploring my fetish.
I dont want to cheat, but it is driving me crazy that i never get to experience my fetish without shame.
What would you do? Telling her about my fetish is not an option.
Thanks for listening.
-------------------- Norwegian Guy Posts: 62 | Registered: Feb 2010
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posted
If you try stick with her without telling her of a very important part of your sexual identity, then it's just not going to work out. Period.
You're going to have to either tell her about your fetish, or break up with her if she won't accept it as who you are. If she really loved you, then even if she finds it disgusting, she would make it work; hell, she may even come to like it.
I'd also recommend against getting an escort as long as you're with her, especially if you don't want to cheat. It's always possible that news of you with the escort will reach her, and then you'll really be in trouble.
posted
Tell her or break up. Any other decision or failure to act is the wrong one that comes from fear of confrontation or fear of action or fear of change.
Speaking not about the fetish at all, just relationships in general, I can say this: Looking back on my youth, made the wrong decision more than once.
"Regret" eventually fades into that hoary wisdom of middle-age. A lot of us, for this reason, are going to tell you the same thing.
Tell her or dump her; either way, set yourself--and her--free.
posted
If you can't just tell her (and that isn't always the best way) then build up to it. with my first girlfriend I just started to massage more, then kiss more. It might be good to just up and say you find her feet sexy, and if she turns you down go to Zurich with absolutely no guilt in hiring a prostitute. apart from the obvious shame.
Posts: 219 | Registered: Oct 2010
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posted
If you tell her, It might, just might no go well. on the other hand, If you don't tell her, It will definitely go shitty. Can you imagine anyone of us going thru life without enjoying something we love so much. Just tell her.
-------------------- My wife's sweet ass and feet Posts: 2151 | Registered: Nov 2004
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My first inclination is to advise you to tell her the truth and if she can't accept you for who you really are -- fuck her.
That said, it might be foolish to leave a girl that is otherwise great because she does not want to engage your foot fetish.
In the end I would probably tell her. If she's not into it, you might consider asking her if you can get some foot action on the side. Seriously, she might not see it as cheating in the same way that having sex is cheating and tell you to go for it. Just make sure she knows it just about exploring your inner foot freak and that you're not interested in being with anyone but her.
I convinced my ex to let me get footjobs from different girls every now and then. I explained that I only wanted sex from her, but because of years of suppression I still needed to explore my foot fetish. She was cool with it.
Worse comes to worse, you get a new girl.
Regarding the escort thing, it's wrong, but I would not look down on you if you were getting foot action on the side from escorts.
Posts: 460 | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
In my experience its impossible to hide a foot fetish particularly if yours is a strong as mine. You have been together for a year now so she must like you. I would tell her. Tell her its a big part of you. She may not get it but at least your worrying can stop. By the way if her feet are really nice you have everything to gain! Without the guilt of going to an escort. If she can't accept it or wont let you have her feet then use an escort. Either way you have to indulge your love of female feet as life is too short mate. Good luck
Posts: 22 | Registered: Aug 2012
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posted
I don't know why you have to "tell" her. I never told my wife, she just came to realize it. Here's an approach you can try...start off once in awhile offering a foot massage with foot lotion (make it warm). Just do a good job so she'll enjoy it and look forward to it (in other words, act like it's about her, not that you're getting off on it). If that goes well, increase the frequency of massages. Let her know you like to make her feel relaxed.
If that's going well, you can start to take it up a notch. I'm not sure how you get your thrills...for me, it's hosiery and I started asking my wife to wear hose because I liked the feel of it during my massage treatments. She then learned I simply like to watch her feet (she's a big time wiggler) and that's all there is to it. I watch her feet and she does whatever (TV, computer, phone calls, etc.) She lets me put various types of hosiery on her feet and that's all I ask of her.
Get at her feet and slowly work up to what you want. If she doesn't learn to accept (or even enjoy) you fetish, it's not going to work, unless maybe if she gives you permission to get your thrill with another woman's feet (or videos). Good luck.
-------------------- I love "Toes that Wiggle; Naturally" Posts: 323 | Registered: May 2004
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posted
As one who did not divulge my fetish to my wife for many, many years I agree with the others who say - tell her. If she really cares about you she'll be open minded and work with you to understand and hopefully accept your fetish. I wish I had told my (now wife) before we got married. I think I would have then enjoyed her feet our entire married life rather than just the last several years. Early on in our marriage my wife wouldn't let me touch her feet largely because they were so ticklish. After I told her, not only could I do anything with them I wanted but any time she could shed give me her feet to rub and caress. In addition she started wearing foot jewelry 24/7, taking phenomenal care of her feet and started collecting flip flops and sandals. So go for it!
Posts: 9728 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
GROW a pair my friend, there is a lot of good advice here. But ultimately its up to you, grad her foot and start with a massage, then small kisses and like it has already been said. Compiment her on her feet, as many times as possible but don;t forget to tell her how beautiful she looks (That comes first). Then drop it, tell her you have a thing for pretty feet.
Posts: 3496 | Registered: Aug 2010
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I have never understood why guys are afraid to tell their woman and especially their damn wife that they like their feet or have a foot fetish.
It is the craziest thing in the world because you having a foot fetish really benefits them.There is no downside for the women.I don't know a women who doesn't like foot massages daily,shoes,pedicures,and the extra attention.
Grow a pair and tell her.If she can't accept something as small as this then she is not worth it.Its crazy you are willing to risk jail or an STD but cant tell her something so small lol.
And seriously to all the married men afraid to tell their wives,you ought to be ashamed.
I tell a chick within the first 5 minutes,maybe less lol.
posted
First time you are intimate with a woman is when they should know straight off the bat. Said it many times before I got a FJ from my wife on our first date and she had never had anyone mess with her feet before that ever!
If a girl is into you there is no way they will break it off with you just because you dig feet. Shit, after a year invested into each other I seriously doubt she will run off screaming in fear. She will probably be annoyed with you for lying in the first place however I'm sure she will accept it after an initial 3rd degree for keeping secrets.
Advice, don't get the escort and instead do what you want to do with her before your trip. When you get back if she hasn't packed up all her stuff and left I would assume she will be good for many more rounds of foot fun.
posted
I say tell her and DO NOT go see the prostitute. She will respect you far more for telling her something personal about yourself and being vulnerable to her than if you see a prostitute. And you will respect yourself more too. I doubt she will leave you. She may feel a little hurt that you haven't told her, or she may tease you, but I think that part of being in a relationship is being vulnerable and opening up to your girlfriend and trusting her.
Also, just bring it up casually. If you sit her down and make a big deal out of it, she might be put off.
Posts: 144 | Registered: May 2008
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quote:Originally posted by acebg: I don't know why you have to "tell" her. I never told my wife, she just came to realize it. Here's an approach you can try...start off once in awhile offering a foot massage with foot lotion (make it warm). Just do a good job so she'll enjoy it and look forward to it (in other words, act like it's about her, not that you're getting off on it). If that goes well, increase the frequency of massages. Let her know you like to make her feel relaxed.
If that's going well, you can start to take it up a notch. I'm not sure how you get your thrills...for me, it's hosiery and I started asking my wife to wear hose because I liked the feel of it during my massage treatments. She then learned I simply like to watch her feet (she's a big time wiggler) and that's all there is to it. I watch her feet and she does whatever (TV, computer, phone calls, etc.) She lets me put various types of hosiery on her feet and that's all I ask of her.
Get at her feet and slowly work up to what you want. If she doesn't learn to accept (or even enjoy) you fetish, it's not going to work, unless maybe if she gives you permission to get your thrill with another woman's feet (or videos). Good luck.
Thanks for all the good advice, people. Really appreciate it.
I think i will go with this approach. It will be more weird - i think - if we sit down and have a conversation about it.
I never "told" her i like boobs either:)
My thing is sucking on toes, so i will try it soon and see how she reacts. If she screams or something like that, then i will "tell" her.
I will let you know how it turns out.
(Love this forum, btw)
-------------------- Norwegian Guy Posts: 62 | Registered: Feb 2010
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